A month later

The funny thing with therapy was that it didn't fix you. You didn't go and the therapist was able to say a few things and you were all better. It didn't work like that. Your therapist would give you sound bites that acted like tools and it was up to you if you would use them or not. When it came to making yourself better, you did it, no one else. Sure your therapist was there to help guide you and give you tools but the process of making yourself better was up to you.

I still wasn't quite sure about it but Amber told me it would work if I put in the effort and for Menza, for my girls, and hell, even for myself, I would do it. We had three sessions a week, I was slotted in after George and we had grown closer, especially because we were both kind of on bitch work in the wood shop. Both apprentices.

Then I had started hanging out with Angie, at Amber's insistence. That female and I had more in common than Mari and I did. She liked sparring, liked hanging out with a few beers, fishing, and hunting as a wolf. It made hanging out with her fun and while I could feel her judging me, she never outwardly said anything. Not that I allowed Amber to say anything about what happened. That was my failing. My personal one and I didn't need anyone judging me for the mistakes I made. They could think of me however they wished but I didn't need all my mistakes picked apart. I did that enough myself.

Even when Amber told me I was too harsh on myself, I didn't believe her. I had to be hard on myself. I had to be hard on myself so I would never again make the same mistakes that caused so much hurt. I wouldn't fall for anything of the sort again. I kept Jace at arm's length, even when he wanted to be friendly, well as friendly as he could with me. I knew he didn't much care for me. But I couldn't help it, being wary. I needed to be, to keep my girls safe.

It had been... hard. Menza wanted nothing to do with me and I understood her. I did. I deserved it but I missed being there for my girls, putting them to bed, feeding them, cuddling with them, playing with there. I missed being there. Menza had kept her door closed to me and I only got to see them when Jay and Ellie, Menza's sister were watching me. Supervised visitation.

Amber hadn't been too happy with that but I told her to drop it, that it was my punishment and I was going to take it. At least I got to see them, even if it was outside, even if it was being watched. I loved my girls and I would do whatever needed to see them, to love on them. Even if Jay and Ellie were busy, Lisa would watch. That female had a spine of steel and I was certain the next male that attempted anything would find they would break before she would bend.

I hadn't thought much of her but watching her and Menza's relationship unfold was... it was a blessing to see. Lisa was still stiff, Menza was still a bit wary but I had seen them hug more than once and Menza had even referred to Lisa as grandma for Maeve and Isla. Which I knew Lisa enjoyed, if her smiles were anything to go by. She even beamed when Maeve would crawl over to her when she was supervising me.

Then there was Duffy. I always knew what the female thought and I knew she believed I deserved the shut out from Menza. My flowers being tossed out on the deck, the supervised visitations, even me begging at a closed door to be allowed my quilt, but two weeks ago she had come over to the little guest house while I had been sitting on the step. She had delivered the quilt, sat beside me, shoving a small glass of whiskey in my hands and told me I wasn't so bad, that I was getting there.

She then followed it up with a 'like all gross disgusting hoarder houses, you gotta gut them properly before you can fix them right and you are looking sufficiently gutted. Don't fuck up the rebuild'. If I hadn't been so confused I would have laughed at the analogy because she was right. You had to cut out the bad to expose it, to clean it. Amber said it was like cleaning a third degree burn, you had to get rid of the dead flesh in order for it to heal properly.

Amber was starting to help me see that losing Chrissie like I had, seeing her die in front of me and then being told I had to take care of a baby and had to keep living, surviving, had been traumatic. I still didn't like the word. But she said I hadn't been given a proper support system to handle that. And that trauma was compounded by Isla's birth. Seeing both her and Menza dead in the infirmary had cemented that trauma, make me more prone to panicking at something being wrong with them both, especially now that I couldn't see Menza to reassure myself she was okay. Despite my distaste for the word, trauma, we were working on it.

I was a work in progress, a big one, but I was trying. I knew I deserved nothing from Menza but it was hard. I loved her and I always would but I could see in the moments when she was forced to be around me, when she wouldn't speak, to me the pain and hurt screamed out of her so loud it hurt to see. The hurt I had allowed to happen to her her... there wasn't a true fix for it and she was the one left to deal with what had been done. It pained me, straight to the bone that I had let Stenton cause her that much anguish, that much pain, that much hurt. That my own betrayal against her ran deep inside her and it made me feel useless to know there was nothing I could do to fix it or make it better.

Even though Amber told me that I wasn't at fault, that I had tried. It didn't make it better. Commands were just words. Just fucking words.

"You know..." Jace's voice had me turning my head to look at him. "I didn't like you when you first came here." I nodded but looked down the driveway. It wasn't particularly a secret. None of the males had liked me. "But you've... you're doing good, kid." He thumped my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. "I'm impressed, you've really put in the effort to be better and what you are doing for Menza right now? It's how I know that deep down, despite all the shit you've done, you're a good male." I lowered my head before giving him a half shrug, not sure what to say to that.

Amber would have pinched her lips if she had heard it and she would have sprayed me in the face with water if she noticed me shaking my head in disagreement. She didn't think I was a bad male but actions and words were two separate things and while I might have tried, I had failed, time and time again.

"I wouldn't go that far." I shrugged again, my hands in my pockets and Jace sighed.

"You know, Amber tells me I shouldn't be so hard on you, that you are harder on yourself than anyone else and I'm starting to see what she means." He was looking at me, a quizzical sort of look and I shrugged again.

"She also says I have a tendency to martyr myself but looking at everything as a whole. Clearly not where it counted most." I gestured with my hand and Jace didn't snort in amusement like I thought he would.

There was a bit of a thick silence. "I don't know what happened, Brochan. Back at Sublatus and I'm starting to think that what we were told and what actually happened don't match and Amber won't tell me shit." That had me stiffening slightly. "I don't like secrets in this pack. I want people to be open with me and I think I am needing to take the first step here."

He cleared his throat. "I'm proud to have you in the pack. I want you to know that. No qualifiers attached, no 'as long as you keep working on doing better and being better I'm proud of you', none of that shit. I'm proud of what you have done." He grabbed my shoulder again, squeezing it. "We all have histories, Brochan, some we aren't proud of. We all have done things to people we love in the midst of mind bending grief or just plain old ignorance." I swallowed hard, staring down at the gravel I was standing on.

"Whatever happened, Brochan. Despite everything. I am proud of you. It takes a strong male to come here and try to right the wrongs, to try and make himself better. Keep it up." He patted my shoulder. That had me swallowing hard as I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets. I didn't quite know what to say to it. I wasn't used to that, used to any of the males being friendly with me but I figured I had to get used to it. They were starting to come around.

Although I believed it had a lot to do with George. Because were both apprentices at the shop so I spent a lot of time with the timid male, we had grown closer and I would count him as a friend. But him being friendly with me did seem to wear down the others. Although with Seamus and Bennett I had a feeling it had more to do with Angie and Mari then them actually liking me.

Simon actively ignored me when I was around but I figured that was better than him attacking me or snapping. Collin still didn't have much use for me and Jay was... well he was so busy with Ellie that I doubted he even remember I existed, even when they were supervising my visits with my girls. I had to admit though, they were cute together. I knew Menza felt the same but it was really hard not to watch him become a bumbling idiot around Ellie, stuttering, going red faced whenever she would kiss his cheek or give him a compliment, and not think it was cute.

"I'll get them." Jace patted my shoulder again before turning towards Menza's house. "Duffy let me know they're almost at the turn off." I smiled at that and nodded. Duffy had left for Vis two weeks ago to finalize getting rid of her house. Which was also where I was having her finalize getting Mike and Dana and the kids ready to move to Oblitus. She had grumbled about it but I knew that she was happy about it. She did like having her family around and she would never, ever admit it, but she had been excited when I let her in on the secret.

She had immediately been suspicious, that I was doing it to get back into Menza's good graces after, and I quote, 'she rightfully kicked your ass to the curb'. However that did wane when she realized I had been planning it before the fight with Simon. I didn't blame her for it though, the suspicion. It looked that way, I knew it did.

I kicked at the gravel and could heard Maeve giggling. I turned and smiled as she ran across the lawn. "Dada!" I crouched down, holding open my arms for her.

"Hey, precious girl!" Once she got close enough I scooped her up, throwing her into the air with a chuckle. I kissed her cheek and she giggled hysterically, grasping my face, her smile wide and loving.

I glanced over and Menza wasn't looking at me but she looked so pretty with her hair in a messy bun and her red head scarf on, tied right in front of that bun. She was holding Isla, kissing those chubby cheeks. I looked away, knowing I didn't have permission to stare at her. I went back to tickling Maeve's tummy as she giggled hysterically.

It wasn't long before I could hear the sound of a vehicle coming down the drive and Menza fairly bounced in her spot. She adjusted Isla on her hip and leaned a bit as if trying to see through the trees. Duffy's car came into view and Menza beamed. "Nana! Nana's home, Isla!"

"Nana!" Maeve wiggled but I held her tight, knowing it was better to hold her and let her get frustrated than to put her down.

Duffy parked the car and got out with a groan. "I'm too old for this shit." She scrunched her face up into that familiar grimace.

"Duffy!" Menza waved at her happily and Duffy smirked.

"Hey trouble. Glad to see your pretty face." She moved towards us, pressing her hand to her back with another grimace. "Mene I need something to fix this crick in my back." She moved stiffly and when she saw me she sneered slightly but didn't hide how the corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "Hey numbnuts." I smiled at that before she looked down at Maeve. "Ah! There's my girl!" She clapped her hands together and Maeve clapped hers in return, reaching out for her. "My little trouble! Gimme!" She moved a bit more spry as she came over and then pulled Maeve from my arms, pressing kisses all over her face as Maeve threw her small arms around her neck.

"Oh my girl! I missed you too! Big hugs!" She rocked Maeve back and forth as she hugged her back. "Nana brought you some presents but you gotta wait for them. I gotta say hi to your mum first and give her her present." Duffy shifted Maeve to one side and Menza glanced at me. I could tell she didn't want to but I held out my arms anyway. She handed me Isla and then hugged Duffy. "There's the original trouble. It's good to see you. I'm glad to be home." Menza said something but it was muffled.

I adjusted Isla in my arms and she picked at my shirt before smiling up at me. I bent down and kissed the top of her head right as a larger, more beat up SUV pulled into the driveway and I grinned, glancing at Menza. "Of course I brought you a gift!" Duffy looked playfully offended as she pushed Menza away. "I didn't spend a two weeks away from my home and not bring you back something."

Menza wiped at her eyes before shaking her head. "I don't need anything. I'm just so happy you're home."

Duffy scoffed slightly but leaned over and kissed Menza's cheek. "You will take your gift and say thank you." It was a stern order and Menza nodded right as the passenger side door to the SUV opened and Dana stepped out.

It took Menza a second to spot her but when she did she gasped. "Dana?" Her voice pitched upwards and Dana waved at her with both arms and practically beamed.

"Menza!" The other female practically jogged over before pulling Menza into a tight hug, lifting her off her feet. "Mene! I missed you!" Dana rocked Menza back and forth as Menza hugged her back just as tight. Dana set her down and her grin grew wider as she grasped Menza's arms. "I hope you don't mind but we decided that we would settle here with you guys."

"What? How? I am so happy to see you but what?" Menza was nearly vibrating with excitement and I smiled softly at her. I loved that she was so happy, that she was so excited.

"Numbnuts has been apparently planning this for over a month. He's been pestering Dana and Mike if they would like to come live in Oblitus with us. I figured I would finalize it when I was back in Vis and decided to take the credit. This your gift. You can thank me later." Duffy gestured to Dana and Menza blinked once and then twice, looking before looking at me. I could see the mistrust that I deserved to have there.

"Dana's your friend and I figured you would like her close. No other reason." I shrugged and looked away, jostling Isla and kissing the top of her head..

"Oh my fucking god! You had a baby!" Dana's voice pitched upwards and she was pointing between Isla and Menza. "A baby!"

Menza seemed to shake herself out of her shock before she gave Dana a bright smile. "I did." She held her hands out, the question not needing to be asked as I passed her Isla. She carried Isla over to Dana who looked half a second from crying. "This is Isla Uzoamaka, my little female." Menza looked so proud that it took my breath away.

Dana touched her cheeks, looking beside herself. "Oh Mene! Can I hug her? Can I touch her?" She looked at Menza and Menza nodded and I watched as she handed Isla off right as Mike got the kids out of the SUV. They all ran towards Menza. I watched the reunion with a smile. Menza was grasping little faces and kissing cheeks. Even Jasper, who probably felt like he was too old for that, took her cheek kisses with a smile. "Mike! She had a baby." Dana looked over at Mike as he walked over and he nodded.

"I see that. Cute little thing." Mike reached out and nudged Isla's cheek with a knuckle. "Hey, Brochan. Good to see you."

"Enza had a baby? I wanna see!" Amaya tugged on her mum's shirt and I watched as both Dana and Menza crouched down, giving introductions.

I smiled at Mike over top of the small group. "Good to see you too, Mike. Hope it was a decent drive."

"Oh, it was perfect. It's good to get out and see the world. I'm learning it's a lot bigger than Sublatus." He gave me a knowing look and I nodded as well.

"Don't I know it." I stuffed my hands back into my pockets as Duffy moved to stand beside me. Maeve seemed to be content to snuggle into her neck and not come out. I reached out and rubbed her back with a smile.

"It does my heart good to have family together." Duffy sniffed slightly before looking up at me. "You did good, numbnuts." It was grumbled and I knew she didn't really want to say it and it made me smirk slightly.

"Two separate people complimenting me in one day? Is it my birthday?" I glanced down at her and she scoffed, swatting at my arm, muttering that I was a brat. I didn't fight the smile that came across my face as I looked down at the older female. "Thanks for doing the finalizing." I lowered my voice and she nodded, rubbing Maeve's back as she rocked her side to side.

"Any time, Brochan. Any time." It didn't escape me that she used my name and I couldn't help how I puffed up slightly. "Don't get too cocky now. I still dislike you." I rolled my eyes and rubbed at Maeve's back again.

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, Brochan, but I contacted someone else." Mike had a shit eating grin on his face and I looked over in surprise.

A familiar truck drove in and I stared at it, my eyes wide. "Are you shitting me?" I found myself moving quickly.

"Nope." Mike sounded overly pleased with himself as Jason parked his truck closer to the house and got out. I was already half way there and he turned and grinned.

"Hey fucker!" He met me and yanked me close. I thumped on his back just like he did on mine. "Glad to see my ugly mug, yah?" He shoved me away and I nodded.

"I couldn't stand being the ugliest fucker here. Glad your here to take that title from me." I slapped his arm, my grin so wide my cheeks hurt. I glanced at the main porch and Jace and some others were standing on it, watching the reunion and I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck. "Glad to see you and thanks. You know... for contacting the Hunters."

"Yah, yah. I said I was gunna. I'm not a liar." He waved me off but was smiling as he moved around the truck and after a moment he grabbed Patricia from the truck. "Come on, munchkin." He heaved her up and I moved closer to Mike before Jason walked over.

Menza and Dana was standing and she caught sight of him and did a double take. "Jason?" She sounded confused and Patrica gasped.

"Menza!" She pointed at her. "Papa Jason, Menza is here!" She sounded so excited that I honestly couldn't blame her because Menza gathered a lot of friends. She was too sweet to not have everyone she meet love her.

Jason smirked slightly, his gaze flicking to me as he set her down. "I know." He came close and cleared his throat. "Hey precious."

Menza was staring at him like he had grown a second head. "What are you doing here?"

It made me feel a bit better that he looked a bit lost for words before he cleared his throat again. "Mike let me know they were moving from Vis to come stay in your pack and the Alpha in Iocasus was pissing me off. So I figured if it was good for these guys, it's good enough for me and Pat. Besides I missed that big headed douche bag." He gestured to me and I chuckled before I shoved at Mike.

"This is your fault." It was and I liked that he had gone through the trouble. Jason would just... Jason just got it. He understood what it was like. Mike just laughed at that, shaking his head.

"Yah? It's nice to see you again." Menza took Isla from Dana and Jason looked shocked.

"You had a baby?" Menza nodded and Jason smiled at her, a rather soft smile. "She's adorable."

Menza nodded before kissing her cheek. "Her name is Isla." Patrica came over and Menza crouched down so she could see her.

"She's so cute!" Patricia clasped her hands together, smiling wide as she looked at Menza.

"I like to think so." Menza kissed Patricia's cheek before she stood up.

"Collin, don't you dare!" Mabel's voice was high pitched and I caught sight of her sprinting from the trees. "Jace!" She was followed closely by a laughing Collin, which meant he was doing something that he wasn't supposed to be doing.

"Collin, I swear to Mene I will break you if you're chasing her with another fucking snake!" Jace bellowed it out and I watched as Mabel looked behind her as she dodged around Duffy's car and barely had enough time to skid to a stop as she realized she was barging into the small gathering. As it was she yelped and her small form slammed into Jason. I watched as he set his feet and caught her before she could fall.

He set her on her feet, his hands on her arms and was looking down at her with a rather perplexed look on his face. "I am so sorry! So sorry! I didn't mean to crash into you!" Her face was bright red and she pushed her hair from her face as she looked up. Her mouth dropped open and she blinked at him.

Jason blinked down at her for a moment before he seemed to jolt. "Are you okay?" His voice was strained and she jolted to nodding quickly and tucking her arms up close to her chest as she stared up at him, her mouth still open slightly. Jason looked around as if trying to spot Collin and I knew he did because he stiffened. "If I ever catch you chasing her around like that again I will beat your ass!" There was a vicious sort of edge to his voice that let me know exactly what was going on, I also noticed he hadn't taken his hands off her arms and Mabel was looking up at him, her eyes sparkling and a faint smile on her face.

Collin made a face. "Dude, I don't even fucking know you." He scoffed and Jace finally made it over.

"But you fucking know me, Collin, and I warned you about chasing her around like that. Your jokes aren't funny and you need to grow up. She could have gotten hurt." Jace crossed his arms over his chest, glowering at Collin darkly.

Collin groaned. "It's just a rope." He lifted it and Jace pointed at him.

"No more." It came out dead serious and Jason's jaw twitched.

"I will fucking beat you if I catch you doing that shit again." He repeated the threat and Jace glanced at him, his mouth twitching upwards slightly. Jason turned back to Mabel, "Are you okay? You hit me kind of hard, you didn't twist your ankle or anything did you?" He looked actually concerned for her and I crossed my arms over my chest, not even trying to hide the smile I got from it.

Mabel was a good match for him. She was a softer female, someone who needed protecting and if I knew anything about Jason, he really needed someone to protect.

Mabel stared up at him, her face still bright red. "I'm Mabel." She blurted it out and Jason stared at her his mouth opening slightly but absolutely nothing came out.

I glanced down and spotted Patricia, she was looking between Mabel and Jason before a sly smile crossed her face that seemed far too adult to be on her face. She practically skipped over, looking up at Mabel. "This is Papa Jason. He's my uncle." She said it so sweetly that I had to fight back a chuckle as Jason jolted and let Mabel go, clearing his throat before running a hand over his closely cropped hair. "He's really nice, isn't he?" Patricia held her hands behind her back, looking oh so sweet and innocent. Mabel tucked some hair behind her ear and nodded.

Patricia turned to her uncle. "Papa Jason, Mabel's really pretty, can you marry her?" At the innocently said question Jason seemed to choke, his eyes wide and I could hear Menza and Dana giggling as they watched.

Jason thumped on his chest, his face bright red before he glanced at Mabel. "I'm sorry about her." He gave Patricia a warning look and Mabel reached up and seemed to cover her mouth, hiding the smile that was growing.

"I'm not." Her face was bright red and Jason turned to stare at her, blinking rapidly before he shifted so his entire body was turned towards her. "She's cute." Mabel looked down at Patricia who was looking all together too innocent.

"She better be, I'm stuck with her." He gave her that look again and Patricia just batted her eyelashes at him.

"Like a ready made family?" Mabel tilted her head as she looked at him and Jason stopped, stared at her, opened his mouth, frowned and closed it before pausing.

He ran his hand over his hair once more, rubbed the back of his neck, before adjusting his jacket. "Let me start over here." He held out his hand. "My name's Jason, I come with a meddling niece who doesn't know when to stop but I like to think I have a lot to offer a female."

I watched as Mabel took his outstretched hand and shook it. "I'm Mabel." She gave him a bright and sweet smile and as I glanced at Jason, I knew the male was a goner.

His usually severe expression seemed to practically melt as he gave her a warm smile. "Pleased to meet you, Mabel."

Yup, he was fucking done for.

I smiled slightly, glancing at Menza. She was watching them with that hurt radiating out of her and that ever familiar shame curled in my stomach.

Amber always said it would get better but in moments like those, I knew it never would.