The next day

I felt raw in a way I had never felt before. Cracked open, split down the middle at the hurt I felt over what had been done to me. Simon acting as he had, doing as he had, opened my eyes to just how wrong it all was. All those excuses, all those moments where I rationalized it to myself, were gone and I was able to see the stark ugliness of what had happened to me.

I hated it because it hurt.

So much.

Like it was a deep and aching bruise that was slowly surfacing, beating a painful reminder at me every time it brushed against my clothing. I had been reduced to rubble and had been expected to pick up the pieces and put them back together again. I just didn't know how.

I had gone home, stripped the bedding off my bed in a fit of rage, yanking the bedding of Brochan's bed before throwing all his clothes into his suitcase and tossing it all out onto the deck as Simon took the bedding to the main house for me. The quilt I made for him had been shoved into the closet, I couldn't look at it. Then I had been alone and it made me feel like I couldn't breathe. I had gasped for air as that raw pain lashed at me. I had held it together, put my girls to bed when they came back and then cried myself to sleep, deep heaving sobs that rattled my entire being.

I hated the feeling. I hated the pain. I hated how raw I felt. I hated how betrayed I had been. I had given him everything, every bit of me and he let it happen and then piled more onto me. It made me want to heave into the scrambled eggs I was making for Maeve. So I shoved it all down, pushed it to the back because I had to take care of my girls. I didn't have time to fall apart. I truly didn't.

"Eggs." Maeve banged on her high chair tray and I nodded as I scooped the eggs onto a plate for her.

"I know, my love. I'm making you eggs." I set the pan down and picked up her plate. I carried it over to her and set it on her tray before bending down and kissing her sleep mused curls, my eyes burning.

I hated feeling like I was. I hated it.

We had been happy. I had been ignorant but I had been happy and now... now there was so much between Brochan and I that I didn't know if we could ever get over it. What he had done... what he had allowed to happen... it was too raw of a wound to look at closely. So I shut it out. I knew it would be easier to shut it out than to break down because of it. My girls needed me.

"Tanks." At the happily said word I smiled and kissed her the top of her head again, smoothing down her curls as the pain radiated through my chest. I swallowed hard as I moved back into the kitchen, cleaning the pan and the dishes I had used. I didn't feel like eating anything right yet, my stomach rebelled at the very idea.

There was a knock on the door and before I could say anything it was pushed open and I found myself smiling, despite the ache in my chest, when I saw Simon. "Come in." I set the spatula in the dish rack before drying my hands as Simon grinned at me.

"Hey, Enza. Nice digs." He came in and moved right over to Maeve, kissing her cheeks. She held up a handful of egg for him and he chuckled. "No thank you, Miss Mayberry. You eat up though." He kissed the top of her head before he moved over to me, pulling me into a hug as Ellie came through the door, followed by Lisa. Although the female lingered in the doorway, as if apprehensive.

I swallowed hard at that. "Please, come in." She looked at me and nodded, coming in and shutting the door. I hugged Simon tight, burying my face into his chest.

"How you doing?" He whispered it and I just shook my head. I wanted to breakdown but I knew I couldn't, not yet, not now. "I won't apologize for doing it. It needed to be done but I'm sorry for how it hurts you." The words were a comfort and I nodded. He was right, it had needed to be done. It had. No matter what I felt about and how raw and broken and cracked I was on the inside. It needed to happen.

"Out of the way." Ellie snarked the words slightly and she wiggled her arm between Simon and I, shoving him away. "My turn with her. You've spent more time with her than me." That made me giggle as she hugged me tight and I hugged her back, holding her close. I had missed them both, so much. Ellie gave a heavy sigh of what I could only describe as relief, leaning against me a touch more, her face burrowing in my neck. "You smell the same. I like that." She murmured it against my skin and I smiled, kissing her cheek before closing my eyes, my cheek resting against hers.

I wasn't sure how long I held her but I didn't let go until she did and once she did she wiped at her eyes before huffing. "Simon told me you got pregnant." She pinched her lips together and I nodded. "So?" She looked at me before tilting her head. "Where's baby? I want to see baby. Bring me baby." The demand coupled with her waving me off had me smiling as I nodded.

"Wait a second." I moved around her and headed for my room. A bit of excited nervousness filled me as I stepped into the room and moved over to Isla's bassinet. I smiled down at her. "Hey, my love. It's time to meet your family." I carefully picked her up and she wiggled slightly before she cracked open an eye and smiled up at me. "Hey there, my love." I drew my fingertip down the sweet little curve of her nose and she cooed at me.

My heart was in my throat as I carried her out of my room and into the main living area. Ellie was standing there, her hands clasped together, pressed to her chest, bouncing up and down her feet. She froze as she spotted us both. "I'm an aunty!" She wailed it out before bursting into tears and I chuckled, my own eyes filling with tears as she pressed her face into her hands.

I looked over at Simon and his throat bobbed up and down as he came over, his eyes a tad wet. "So this is her." His voice cracked and I nodded. "I was terrified after Stenton found out and was killed. I thought I lost you." He murmured it out as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. "One of the Hunters took pity on me and told me you were okay, that you both made it." I swallowed hard as I traced his features with my eyes.

"Lala!" Maeve squealed the name and I laughed, some tears escaping.

"Yes, this is your baby sister, Isla." I looked at Maeve and she was opening and closing her hands towards me, covered in egg.

"Isla? That's so cute! I have a niece, mum!" Ellie dissolved into another round of tears, hugging Lisa tightly. Lisa looked slightly bemused but was smiling all the same.

"Here." I shifted Isla in my arms and she scrunched her face up, as if she understood I was going to give her to someone else. "I need to grab Maeve." I looked at Simon and he cleared his throat once and then again before nodding.

"Hey, sweetheart." He breathed it out as he took Isla from my arms. "Jesus, you're tiny." She frowned at him before letting out a rather loud sighing coo that made me think she was saying 'I know' in an exasperated tone. Simon chuckled, using his free hand to wipe at his eyes. "You are absolutely precious, baby girl, you know that?" She cooed again and I moved over to the sink and grabbed a face cloth, getting it wet.

I moved around Simon as he cooed down at Isla and around Ellie and Lisa till I made it to Maeve. She held her hands out for me and I carefully cleaned them before wiping her face. She giggled at me before reaching up for me to pick her up. "Mama." I gave her a soft smile as I picked her out of the high chair. "Lala."

I nodded. "Yes, Isla." Maeve snuggled into me and I watched as Ellie wiped at her face, breathing in and out in shaky breaths.

"Okay. Okay. I want to hold her." She moved over to Simon and made grabby hands.

"Are you going to blow snot bubbles in her face?" Simon grinned at her and Lisa made a noise in her throat.

"Simon. Be nice." It was a low warning and he stuck his tongue out at Ellie but gently passed Isla over.

"She-" Ellie cut herself off before looking at me, her face red and a tiny bit splotchy before she looked down at Isla. "I love her so much." She sniffled and it took all I had not to burst into tears as well. "I'm your aunty Ellie and I love you, so, so, soooo much." She whispered it to Isla before kissing her tiny forehead. "She really is little." She looked up at me before swaying back and forth, her eyes back on Isla

"She's bigger now. She's almost eight pounds." I leaned my head against Maeve's and she gave a happy sigh, snuggling into me a bit more.

"How big was she want she was born?" Lisa looked at me and I was surprised she was asking.

"Five pounds, one ounce." At the answer Lisa looked surprised but then again, from what I had remembered, both Elli and Simon had been about eight pounds when they were born.

"Oh you were tiny! And I missed it!" Ellie sniffled again and then again but managed to get a hold of her emotions as she gave Isla a watery smile. "I barely know you and I love you more than anything." She nuzzled her nose against Isla's and Isla cooed. "Mene, I'm going to melt. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!" She beamed as she looked up at me, her blue eyes watery. "You made this!" Ellie breathed it out before turning back to Isla and kissing her forehead again.

"Lala." Maeve lifted her head from my shoulder and I pulled mine away from hers as I nodded.

"Yes, Isla." I kissed Maeve's cheek and she giggled at me before wiggling to be put down. I set her on her feet and she toddled over to Simon, opening and closing her hands.

"Look at you, miss Mayberry!" Simon beamed. "You're walking!" He scooped her up, throwing her into the air as she giggled hysterically. He caught her and then rapidly kissed those chubby cheeks I so loved. "You're going to be driving soon if you don't stop growing!" He grinned at her and she giggled, snuggling into his shoulders, looking pleased with herself.

"They grow really quickly." Lisa's voice was soft as she glanced at me and I nodded.

"Too quick." I felt like every time I blinked that they were so much bigger.

"How was... how was your labour?" She asked it tentatively and I paused, wondering how to say it. This new territory between Lisa and I was one I didn't have experience in navigating and it made it feel daunting. My only saving grace was she had just as much experience as I did.

"It was... poor." I weighed the word and gave a slow nod. "I had a placental abruption, started hemorrhaging, both Isla and I died for a moment and then Mene let us come back. I had to have my uterus removed, it was part of the deal Mene made with me, no more children." It came out a bit haltingly and a bit nervous but Lisa just nodded.

"I'm glad you are both okay and I'm sorry that you had to go through that without your family." She didn't look at me as she said it but I was slightly surprised but then again, I figured everything to do with Lisa and how she acted around me would be new and surprising.

"Did you guys have breakfast? Are you hungry?" I looked between them all and Simon shook his head.

"We wanted to come over as soon as we woke up." Ellie said as she swayed with Isla who was starting to fuss. It was getting close to feeding time and I knew she would be fussy until she had a full belly.

"Here, let me make something." I turned to go to the kitchen but Lisa touched my arm, stopping me.

"Do you mind if I make breakfast? Just so you can feed your little one and relax." That had me blinking but I found myself nodding. She gave me a slight smile as she rubbed her hands off on her pants and moved into the kitchen.

"Why is she glaring like that?" Ellie said it with a bit of concern and I smiled.

"She's getting hungry." I looked over at her and Isla was indeed glowering up at Ellie, clearly her freshly awake happiness had settled into 'I'm hungry and need food and who are you and why are you holding me?'. "I'll make her a bottle." I moved into the kitchen with Lisa as I grabbed a clean bottle and quickly made a bottle for Isla.

"I like the kitchen. It's very functional." Lisa said it evenly and I nodded.

"The guys really outdid themselves." They really had. Isla gave an angry cry and I watched as Maeve reached for her, Simon forgotten. Ellie looked a little panicked and I quickly came over and Ellie handed her over, hovering slightly as I quickly rubbed the nipple on Isla's bottom lip. She greedily latched on, her eyes almost rolling into the back of her head.

Ellie giggled, crowding close to me. "She's so precious." Her voice was a low whisper and I nodded.

"She is." Isla and Maeve were my anchor points in this world, they were what made my life living, especially now. The pain and hurt rose up inside me but I beat it back down. I would have time to deal with it later but I had to be functional. I had to be okay, at least for now.

I finished feeding Isla and burped her, causing Simon to cheer at the impressive burp she let out. Shortly after Lisa finished with breakfast and we ate, talking about where they were going to stay in the pack until more permanent space was opened up. Lisa said she didn't mind staying in the main house. Simon said the guest house was fine for him for now and Ellie said she didn't care as long as she could come be with me all day. I had smiled at that.

I had needed the normalcy, the mundane conversations that flowed in and out. Simon handed Maeve off to Ellie, who was ecstatic to tickle her, while he gathered the breakfast dishes. I watched them all, feeling myself smile. I hurt, there was no doubt about how raw I felt inside but spending time with my family, even with Lisa, soothed some of the bitter ache inside me.

There was a heavy knock on the door and it was pushed open before I could say anything and Jay came in with a wide grin, his brown eyes eager. "I heard we had new pack members! Collin and I were so busy doing patrols last night that I..." His voice trailed off as he stared at Ellie with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.

I looked between her and him and Ellie looked shocked before she grinned. "Well hello, handsome." There was a secret sort of edge to her smile that spoke of something between shifters and I found myself grinning. Mates.

"I-uh-How-ah-So-" I had never seen Jay so flustered and his cheeks were bright red as he looked at Ellie and Collin moved passed him with a snort.

"Real attractive, Jailbird. Keep stuttering,  females love that." That had Jay throwing him a dark and deadly look with a low growl and I giggled slightly as I shifted Isla to rest against my chest, patting her back gently as she looked around.

"Well. If you want to court my little sister you gotta fight me for it." Simon cleared his throat, crossing his arms over his chest but his eyes were amused even though his tone was slightly gruff.

"I'll fight the fucking pope if I can take her out on a date." Jay looked at Simon, his eyes still wide and Simon grinned.

"Alright, let's do this then." He moved around the counter and pointed out the door. Jay locked eyes on Ellie and nearly tripped over the step to the deck because he wasn't looking where he was walking.

Collin let out a bark of laughter as he came around the table and kissed the top of my head. "What's happening, cupcake?" He was curious and I waved him off as I stood up as well. Ellie followed behind Simon, setting Maeve down as she did so. I went around the table and Collin followed as Lisa went outside. "Come here, Maevy." Collin scooped Maeve up and I stepped out onto the porch deck right as Simon and Jay squared off. It didn't take long before they were grappling, trying to trip each other to get them on the ground, laughing as they did so. "Seriously, cupcake, what's going on?" Collin stage whispered it to me and I grinned.

"Jay is formally asking to court Ellie and Simon is debating with him about it." It made my heart happy to see the jovial atmosphere that the two males created as they laughed and tried to trip each other to get them down into a pin.

"That's hilarious. I'll take Maeve inside." Collin chuckled as he nudged me gently before walking back into the house and I glanced at Ellie as she cheered on 'Handsome'. There was a lightness in my chest as my family, my blood, seemed to slowly fall into their new pack. I loved it, I loved seeing how well they would fit.

Jay managed to get Simon down and pinned and once Simon tapped out Jay was on his feet, moving over to Ellie. "Gorgeous, I gotta know your name." The words tumbled out of him almost breathlessly and Ellie's cheeks pinkened and I smiled as I watched them.

"My name's Ellie." She glanced at me. "Menza's my big sister." She turned back to him and he beamed.

"I'm Jay!" He stuck his hand out before cursing and wiping it off on his pants. "Very nice to meet you." Ellie giggled and shook his head. Jay looked like he had seen an angel, he was so smitten it made me smile wider. "You are the most beautiful female I have ever seen." He breathed it out and Ellie's face went bright red and she giggled.

Lisa was standing close to me and she had a soft smile on her face. I gently nudged her with my free hand and she glanced over. "I think they would make a cute couple." I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes and she nodded.

"As long as he treats her right." At the unsaid warning I nodded. Ellie deserved an easier time with a male than what Lisa and I had and I knew Simon would accept nothing else. I watched as he looked between Jay and Ellie, looking more than satisfied with himself. Lisa cleared her throat and I rubbed Isla's back and looked at her. "Do you mind..." She paused before taking a deep inhale. "Do you mind if I hold her?" She glanced at Isla and I found myself softening.

"Of course not." I adjusted Isla so she lay in my arms. She smiled up at me and I kissed the tip of her nose before carefully passing her to Lisa.

My heart was in my throat as she took her. Lisa settled her close, her bottom lip quivering just a tiny bit before she gave such a beautiful, beaming smile I was nearly stunned. "You're beautiful, little Isla." She whispered it before reaching up and tracing the curve of Isla's nose with her fingertip. "So utterly precious."

I blinked rapidly, swallowing once and then again. A part of me clicked into place as I watched her. Lisa and I... no matter what happened, no matter what may come. I knew deep down, that we would be okay. It nearly made me burst into tears and I looked away as Jay grasped Ellie's hands, looking at her like she hung the moon and the stars in the sky.

"We'll be okay." I whispered it, knowing that despite the pain, despite it all. We would be.