Ello ello, my lovelies! The update is here (as if you didn't know that already😑). Sorry for the delay. Work pressure and 2-3 hours of sleep on average is fatal for creativity!😭😭😭😭 But this chapter is above 4k, so, umm, that's good, right?😌

O-kay. Now, see that totally awesome new cover of the story???😍 A precious little love called Melinda ( 2permenkapas) has gifted it to the two dorks of this story!😍 Hun, can't tell you how surprised and touched I felt with this gesture. I love it!💗 Thank you so much! And you peeps, if you like it, please, let us know.😘💗

The photo manip courtesy of the cover- Addicted Korean Fan Club

ZhouZhou plushies for all those who comment/vote/share. You guys are my lifeline. You literally keep this story going. 💗💗💗😍😍😍

And good luck to our baobeis for tomorrow!😍

Hey, wake up! You have a chapter to read!!!

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"And it's so hard to say I but I've been here before
Now I'll surrender up my heart and swap it for yours..."

- 'Lego House' by Ed Sheeran (I love him😍)

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Chapter-12

The text came, like it always did, minutes after he woke up. He read the words even though he knew what they would be.

Good morning. Be safe. Smile. -ZZ

This had been going on since the day they exchanged numbers, or more precisely, Timmy nagged the number out of him. At first, he did not think anything of it, but once he realized that Timmy woke up every morning for the sole purpose of wishing JingYu, who was an early bird, good morning, something snapped within him. He still remembered the day when amidst of their bickering, Timmy informed him how JingYu was ruining his sleep pattern as he had to wake up every day at 6:30am so that JingYu would be able to have a nice good morning greeting waiting for him. These things could not be pinpointed, but probably that was the day JingYu had lost himself completely in the boy.

And lost he had. He could not deny it anymore. Not after last night. He had never felt anything like this before. This....this all consuming need to be with someone. To be at the receiving end of such dedication. He did not know what had he done to deserve this, but he was not going to be a moron and push Timmy away. His worry about future would have to take the backseat for now.

ZhouZhou, his mind rebuked, call him ZhouZhou. It makes him happy.

And thus he tapped on the reply icon.

Good morning to you too. I told you not to wake up this early. Go back to sleep. -JY

He got up to go through his morning physical routine to get rid of the kinks his muscles acquired during the sleep. But the phone ding'd again.

You replied! Finally! And I wanted to wish you before everyone else. -ZZ

This feeling of being happy and guilty at the same time was a new addition, too. Happy because it was humbling to know that as prosaic as a text message from him could make someone so happy. And guilty because he had been denying ZhouZhou this happiness all this time. But what could he do? He was scared. Scared of the unknown path he was treading along; scared because of how unknown he felt to himself. Scared that he would hurt ZhouZhou in the process. But knowing that he was hurting the boy more with his indifferent facade, he finally had decided to let go and let it be.

You did and you do, trust me. But no reason in being sleep deprived. Sleep now and text me once you wake up. -JY

Not even a minute after the reply came.

You'd be in the store and won't reply me. -ZZ

JingYu thought for a moment. Should I tell him now?

I've taken the day off as I'll be meeting my friend for that modelling project I talked about. -JY

When nothing came for a moment, JingYu assumed that Timmy had gone back to sleep and he began his routine.

Ding!

Pausing his exercise, which he would have never done for anyone else, not even for Mum called, he opened the text.

Can I go with you? Just want to make sure you don't make any wrong deal, that's all. -ZZ

He chuckled, yeah right.

Don't worry. He's a good friend of mine. And I don't think it'd be appropriate to take you there. -JY

Okay. But please let me know what happens, yeah? -ZZ

Of course, I will. -JY

He resumed his sit-ups when nothing came after a while.

XOXOXOX

JingYu was passing by a chemist's shop when the thought occurred to him. His meeting with Boris had gone pretty well. His friend was over the moon knowing that he had finally agreed but JingYu had laid down some rules first. He had informed that there would be no naked or semi naked assignments for him, nor would he model for anything that could be injurious to health. Like cigarettes. And of course he was thinking about ZhouZhou when he said that.

He pushed the glass door open and entered the shop. He had been meaning to do this for quite a long time but held himself thinking that it would only fuel the tension between them. But now he could let himself do it. He could never be as bold as Timmy; taking baby steps was what he had in mind to show his reciprocation.

"Do you have nicotine patches?" He asked the clerk at the counter.

The clerk nodded and went to a shelf to retrieve the item. JingYu eyes began to roam and landed on the 'condom' section. Timmy's image popped into his mind and he snapped his head back to stare at the white wall in front. Although he would not flip like before at his own perverse thoughts, he could not let his imagination run wild either. Just the thought of kissing the boy always left him in goosebumbs; thinking about screwing was a big no no, especially in public places.

The clerk returned with a box and JingYu bought the entire pack.

Once outside, he took out his phone. Not in the habit to update someone of his own whereabouts, he mulled over the thought of whether he should let Timmy know right now or wait till later.

Why am I thinking over this so much? Do I really want to keep ZhouZhou waiting?

He quickly sent out a text.

The meeting went well. -JY

Minutes went away, nothing came. He realized with a jolt that he was actually waiting for Timmy to reply him back immediately, and when that didn't happen, he felt a kind of disappointed anticipation.

What is it? He asked himself. What is this feeling for constant longing? Is this obsession? Or........love? No no, he shook his head. This couldn't be love. Then....infatuation, maybe? But the thought of putting his feelings for ZhouZhou as mere infatuation made him uneasy. But what then?

A candied-fruit seller passed by him and he was instantly on that park, under the tree, beside ZhouZhou again.

Not quite love but a lot like love.

Waiting on a crossing, he looked up in the clear sky.

Should he dare to dream?

XOXOXOX

How well? What happened? DETAILS!! -ZZ

And I'm so sorry for taking this long to reply. I was in the class and having a test. When I tried to sneak the phone out, the professor caught me. -ZZ

The two texts came one after another when JingYu was having his lunch at a food joint.

The first one made him chuckle which turned into exasperation in no time when he read the second message.

Why the hell were you trying to use your phone during a test?! What if you were kicked out and missed the test? -JY

Not even a minute passed before the phone chirped again.

Hah, as if I care. It'd be good as I could have replied earlier. But that's not the point!!! I NEED DETAILS!! -ZZ

JingYu should have been alarmed at Timmy's tendency to prioritize texting him over his studies. But he wasn't. There was a fluttery feeling inside his stomach. He still could not believe how he became the centre of ZhouZhou's attention, or how important and.....happy that made him feel.

But wasn't it wrong? His rationality questioned. Wasn't he hampering Timmy's future? How would it feel knowing that he had ruined the boy's career? An ice cold sensation ran down his spine. These emotional whiplashes were the reason he was stuck in a limbo.

I will tell you but you have to promise me you will never do anything again that will hinder your studies. Or harm your career. -JY

Seriously? Here I am dying to know and you decided to be my dad NOW?! -ZZ

For fuck's sake! Yeah, okay, I promise! Happy now? Should I send you an engraved invitation to please tell me about what the fuck happened with your meeting? -ZZ

JingYu pinched the bridge of his nose and reminded himself that wringing a twenty year old boy's ear was not a good idea.

Yes, thank you. I'm very happy. As for the meeting, I'd have to take a crash course on how to model, then do the first assignment. -JY

DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD DETAILS?? -ZZ

He blinked at the message. Why was Timmy so furious?

You do realize that you're yelling over a text? And what else do you want to know? -JY

What. Is. The. Assignment. -ZZ

How can I answer unless you put a question mark? -JY

Snickering at his own impishness of irritating Timmy more, he sent out another text.

I'd have to model for some sports gear.-JY

A couple of minutes passed and JingYu wolfed down his now cold food, eyes going to the phone in every two seconds. As if his teen age had come back.

Please don't tell me you'll pose in a swimsuit. Or a speedo. -ZZ

JingYu choked on his mouthful. What the hell was wrong with this boy?

And what if I will? -JY

Although averse to the idea of posing in a swimwear or a speedo, he decided to tease.

Then I'd say bartending is better for you. -ZZ

What? Why are you so against of my posing for swimwear? -JY

Oh, I have nothing against you in a swim wear, trust me. In fact, I'd very much like to have a pic of you in a speedo. But for personal purpose only. Not for the entire world to see!! -ZZ

Cheek flaring hot, JingYu swallowed. He was no stranger to flirting but hearing those words from ZhouZhou did something weird inside him. And it wasn't because a guy was appreciating his body. It was because it was ZhouZhou who was doing it. Left with nothing but to either flirt back or to change the topic, he chose the second one. Well, no surprise there.

When are you going to give your notice to the pub? -JY

A long pause.

I have to give a notice? -ZZ

JingYu sighed tiredly. Only this insane boy had the ability to exhaust him just by texting.

You didn't read your contract, did you? -JY

No. -ZZ

You have to give at least two week's notice before quitting. -JY

Something occurred to him then and he quickly typed out another text.

But if you can manage to provide a substitute for those two weeks, you can quit immediately. They have this policy for the musicians. -JY

It was a good thing that he remembered in time. He did not want Timmy to work there any longer than absolutely necessary.

And what about bartenders? -ZZ

The same thing, but it's difficult to find someone to sub for a bartender, especially in such a mediocre pub. -JY

Hmm. -ZZ

JingYu's eyebrows went up and then pulled down in a frown. Why did that three letters sound so ominous?

ZhouZhou, no more crazy stuff, you hear me? -JY

Yessir! :D -ZZ

Oh, definitely cooking something up. Alarm bells went crazy inside his head. He was in the middle of typing another reminder when the text came.

Hey, listen, I gotta go. Are you free this evening? -ZZ

No, I have to go to the pub. -JY

Otherwise? -ZZ

Otherwise? Oh, so not good.

Exactly what are you planning to do? -JY

Meaning otherwise you're free. Okay, bye. C'ya. Take care. And don't skip lunch. -ZZ

Wait, what? What the...

I've eaten. But what's going on? -JY

No answer.

ZhouZhou? -JY

When the phone still kept quiet, he cursed in frustration and got up.

XOXOXOX

"Dude, what am I, a surrogate boyfriend???"

Pip was at the end of his wits. There were only two ways to go from here, either go completely bonkers, or be catatonic. Oh, wait! There was a third way too. To kill this sod and be done with it.

"You're my best friend, Pip. I couldn't think of anyone else!"

Timmy's buttering up technique really needed some working.

"Stop thinking of me! Never think of me. Don't even remember you know me, well, except when there's food involved. Other than that, you don't know me, understand?" Pip wiggled his index finger at Timmy, who huffed and slumped further back in his seat.

They were still at the university. In the campus cafeteria. Pip should have realized he'd be in a deep trouble when Timmy voluntarily wanted to give him a treat.

"Can't you help me out this one time? I know the situation is not ideal but what can I do?" Timmy kept whining.

The pasta fell from Pip's fork.

"This one time? One time? The fuck are you talking about, you ungrateful dick?" He tried to poke those eyes out with his fork. " I've been scapegoating myself since the day you told me about your affair! It's like you're performing some sort of weird ritual where sacrificing me would bring your man to you! The fuck dude?"

Timmy rolled his eyes massively, "Oh please, don't be so dramatic."

Having finished his plate as quickly as possible, because there was always a chance that Timmy would take it from him, Pip sat up straight, putting his 'don't fuck with me' face on.
Lecture time.

"I'm not the one being dramatic here, dude. You are."

Timmy shot a glare at him and Pip continued.

"I wish you could've seen yourself lately. You're like this completely changed person. You're obsessed, Timmy. Going out of your mind. All you can think about is him, everything you do revolve around that guy-"

"Because otherwise I won't have any chance!" Timmy exclaimed in frustration. "I need to keep trying or he'd slip through my fingers!"

"And what if he never accepts you?"
Pip saw his friend flinch but barged on.

"What if this thing between you two remains as it is now? What would you do?"

"I don't know," came a mumble.

"You don't know because you don't want to know. Look Tim, while I support you with all my heart but you must think of yourself, too. Don't love someone so much that you forget to love yourself. I've seen people going through puppy love phase before-"

"It's not puppy love."

They stared at each other squarely. Years of friendship enabling them to have a silent conversation. Finally Pip averted his eyes and nodded, "Yeah, I get that. But why not let him take the lead sometimes?"

"Because he won't take the lead. He won't do anything."

"Then maybe he's not into you," he snapped but bit his tongue at Timmy's pained expression.

"Dude, don't misunderstand. I have no wish to rain on your parade but don't you think you're taking things a bit too far?"

A scowl was thrown at him.

"Why, because I asked you to fill in for him?"

"Can you not hear yourself, you barmy sod? You asked me to bartend! Bartending. So that your boyfriend can go and flex muscles for the camera. And honestly, what did you expect me to do there? Spin beer bottles on my drum sticks? What kind of brainless tosser are you, dude?"

"It's not like I dragged you there, did I? It was a suggestion. I have to look for a sub for myself, why not try to find him one too? And weren't you looking for a part time job last month? If anything, you should be grateful. 'Cause with your skill crying at funerals will be the only career possibility for you."

Pip gave him a blank stare, "Are you on drugs?"

Timmy sat up straight, leaned over the small table and with a cheeky smile replied, "Yes and it's called Huang JingYu."

"Please kill me," he prayed to the heaven and banged his forehead on the table.

XOXOXOX

The first thing that came into JingYu's mind when Timmy entered the pub was those packs of condoms.

"Oh God!" He whispered in horror and mentally punched himself fatally.

The second thing he noticed was that the boy looked off. Somewhat sad.

Alarmed, the third thing he noticed that Timmy was beelining for this way.

"What's wrong?" He asked once Timmy reached the bar area.

He chewed on his lip for a moment, eyes going here and there and finally said, "I couldn't manage to get a stand in."

"Oh, that's not good. Mm, okay, let me see if I can find a singer or not. We'll find one, don't worry." JingYu gave a smile, trying to cheer him up.

"But I have found a singer already," Timmy informed.

Puzzled, JingYu asked, "Then?"

"I mean....for you."

"For-" it took a minutes but he finally understood what the matter was. "Ti- ZhouZhou, you don't have to do this. I'm not your responsibility."

Timmy's face fell immediately, prompting JingYu into action.

"What I mean is you don't have to be so worried; I can take care of it," he tried to clarify but didn't look like it worked as Timmy just gave a short nod without looking and turned quickly towards the manager's room. Probably going to talk about his quitting.

JingYu stood there feeling like a complete arse. He never felt at ease with people burdening themselves in order to help him. He was not habituated with things like this. The presence of care, of support was so rare in his life that he did not know how to handle when stumbled upon them. Since the day they met, Timmy was there for him, looking out, taking care, lending support....or just being a source of happiness altogether. Slowly but surely he felt himself leaning on the boy more and more, and it left him cold with fear. Timmy had become a big part of his life, that he already knew but he refused to accept just how big that part was.

Because he could feel the rest of the world blacking out when Timmy was near.

XOXOXOX

"You wanna tell me something?" With her arms crossed over her chest, one foot tapping on the floor, Mei asked.

"About what?" JingYu asked back absently, lining up the pint glasses.

"Oh, please, don't play dumb with me."

JingYu looked up to see her eye roll. He frowned, "Eh?"

"Really?"

Annoyed, JingYu said, "Mei, for the last, I really can't mind read."

"Urgh! You wanna tell me about why you and Timmy are quitting at the same time?"

For a millisecond JingYu's hands stopped what they were doing but he resumed quickly. Anticipating this question since he had decided to quit, he was sort of expecting it, to be honest.

"What's there to tell?" He rhetorically asked, still doing his work, "Just a coincidence, of course."

"Uh-huh," came Mei's sardonic tone. And when JingYu looked at her again, she added, "Just as coincidental as of you two eye fucking each other given the slightest chance?"

Grimacing, he replied, "Stop reading those weird fan fictions and get a life, will you? They have twisted your mind."

"Yeah yeah yeah.....Deny all you want. Tim's on," she gestured at the stage, "the eye romance will start soon." And without waiting for any response, she slunk away.

JingYu looked at the stage, at Timmy. He was sitting on the stool, realigning the microphone; the guitar was strapped with his shoulder, as usual. Suddenly, there was a clench inside JingYu's chest. This was probably the last time he would be seeing Timmy like this. On a small stage, alone, a soft light focused on him in the otherwise shadowy pub. Eyes closed. Lips bringing out the music within, lost in his own world.

This would probably be the last time Timmy's eyes would search for him and would smile upon finding.

XOXOXOX

"I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down"

The pub was relatively empty today, granting him the chance to enjoy the song thoroughly.

"My three words have two meanings, but there's one thing
On my mind
It's all for you....."

He adored ZhouZhou's singing. As if his heartstrings were tuned to that voice. The song sounded familiar. Another one of Ed Sheeran's, most probably. JingYu had searched the English singer and went through his songs list once ZhouZhou told him he was one of his favourites.

"If you're broken I'll mend ya and keep you sheltered
From the storm that's raging on now..."

JingYu stood there, captivated, as the words tore apart the remaining layers around his heart. The broken pieces etching the words in him while falling.

"I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now...."

JingYu clutched the wooden panel of the bar counter with a force that hurt the flesh, but he didn't care. He needed to channel his emotions or he would do something embarrassing like go over there and stand in front of the stage.

And Timmy was not looking at him. At all.

"Don't hold me down, I think the braces are breaking
And it's more than I can take....."

He sucked in a deep breath. "Please, look at me," his whisper pleaded to the distance between them.

"I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now...."

The way his heart was screaming in desperation just because someone was not looking at him scared him even more. But he was like a puppet, reacting on default. And Timmy was his default. He was tugging on the strings that was wrapped around JingYu's entire being.

"Please, just for once."

Timmy did not look.

"And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now..."

XOXOXOX

Timmy was still avoiding his eyes, was still in a gloomy mood and JingYu felt helpless. Everything inside him pained. He wanted to reach out and grab the boy, to ask him stop acting this way. To look at him, but was not sure how if that would make things better or worse. Hence, he just kept walking; eyes pinned on the back of Timmy's head, who was walking just a few steps ahead of him and by the look of it fishing out his cigarette pack from his jean's pocket.

He palmed the box that was in his pocket. Would it be all right if he gave this now?

"ZhouZhou?"

Timmy stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"I-um-there's" JingYu licked his lips to buy some times. "There's something I want to give you."

They faced each other and he saw as the other boy's morbid expression changed into that of a surprise.

"What is it?"

After another brief hesitation, JingYu handed him the box. Timmy read the label and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Nicotine patches?"

"Ye-yeah, I thought..uh...you smoke a lot which is not only ruining your health but it will affect your voice sooner or later, or so I've heard, haha, umm," God, this so awkward, why did he think it was a good idea? Nicotine patches? Who the fuck gave that to someone's.....um....someone? Now he was the one who avoided Timmy's eyes.

"You've been planning on this for quite a long time, haven't you?"

Taking courage from that fond tone of the question, he sneaked a glance to see that a smile was trying to spill out of Timmy's persed lips. The sight relieved him so much that he suddenly felt like floating away.

"Yes, you can say that," he admitted because......because he wanted to and finally could.

Timmy smiled which JingYu mirrored and taking off his guitar case from the shoulder said, "Hold this, will you?"

"Umm, let me," JingYu took the box instead of the guitar and took one patch out. He rolled up Timmy's left sleeve and slapped the patch on the skin.

"Just so you know, I'm already trying to quit my smoking," Timmy said, still smiling.

JingYu's hand halted,"Oh. Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't know. Maybe it's not a good idea to give-"

The box was snatched away from him.

"Don't even think about it."

"But what if-"

"JingYu, stop trying to bind yourself in 'what ifs'. Life is about living, not speculating all the time. It will slip by before you know it."

JingYu looked at Timmy and for the first time saw a mature young man, instead of a boy. Maybe it wasn't so bad to let go of the control sometimes and step out of the imaginary line.

"Okay," he said quietly and began roll down and smoothen Timmy's sleeve.

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C

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