I'm dead beat tiiiiiiiiiiiiired!😭 Oh, ta da! An update! *trying to sound cheerful but failing*😞 Anyway, it is here with it's 18+ tag still on!😎 But the important thing is, there will be a short time jump in the next chapter for speeding things up. So, enjoy the smexy times now.😀 I had planned to rant more bit forgot everything. It's 4:11am. Just finished writing this 6k. Can you blame me?😭

Special thanks to-

LuanaPapaianopol- She is my Lemu. My inner Panda is in love with her. And she suggested the song for this chapter. Kissy kissy ya ya ya, Lemu!😀😘😘😍

To AtikaRatnasari- Babe, hope you enjoy your missing scene.😎😘😘😍

To all of you who comment/vote/share- You guys are EVERYTHING. You are literally the driving force behind my writing. I love each one of you. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey!!💗😍😘💗💗 And those who are reading silently, I don't know you guys, though I wish you could at least drop by to say hi, but I hope you are enjoying this too. 💗

If you connect with me through IG- AbbieButtonbee.

End of rant. Start of chapter. Enjoy the read!😘

-------------------------------------

The best is yet to come 
I know, you know 
That we've only just begun 
Through the highs and lows 
And how can I live without you 
You're such a part of me 
And you've always been the one 
Keeping me forever young 
And the best is yet to come

- "The Best Is Yet To Come" by Scorpions

*********************

Chapter-20

JingYu creaked his neck and rolled the shoulders while waiting for the signal to turn green for the pedestrians. Nothing could relax his body the way a good BJJ session did. Well, nothing except for sex with ZhouZhou, he thought with a smirk. The last two days were like a sex marathon. That kid was always turned on and to be honest, so was JingYu. It was as though he had turned into a teenager again, with raging horniness. Sex holiday indeed.

Letting go of the control, of his insecurities, of the fear of a heartbreak felt liberating. He felt free. He had begun to believe that he was deserving of Timmy. He was enough. Timmy would be there to hold him when this freefall stopped.

The signal changed and he crossed the road. Timmy was at Pip’s house, not far from JingYu’s Dojo. They had decided to meet in front of the subway and go to that food stall from there. But JingYu decided to wait for him opposite Pip’s place where they were having a jamming session.

I’ve arrived. Take your time. Don’t hurry or run. –JY

He sent the text and made himself comfortable in a shadowy corner under a tree. A couple of minutes later four guys poured out of the house and JingYu frowned when he realized that the fourth guy was not Pip but a new face that looked older. Not that he knew every one of Timmy’s friends but....no one who smiled with that much teeth should be anywhere near his ZhouZhou, JingYu concluded.

The other two boys bid their goodbye and went away. Mr. Happy-Dent was too happy to go, it seemed and was showing Timmy something on his phone. As Timmy looked on at the screen with wide eyed fascination, Happy-Dent gazed at Timmy’s face with a similar expression.

Burn.

JingYu felt the pin pricks of discomfort all over his body as his heated ears began to ring. He did not know why he was still hiding but something held him back from revealing his presence. Not yet.

Timmy gave the phone back and broke into peals of laughter when Happy-fucking-Dent said something. Why the fuck was he laughing so much? And why wasn’t he leaving yet? Did he not get JingYu’s text? That also reminded JingYu that Timmy was yet to reply him back.

You have time to giggle with someone else but can’t reply your boyfriend back?

Burn.

And then it happened. The Fucker-Dent held the strap of Timmy’s guitar case and said something. It did not take a genius to know what was he saying because that gesture was all too familiar to JingYu. He had done this hundreds of time for Timmy. It was his to do. His job to carry ZhouZhou’s guitar, his bag....him. ZhouZhou was his, no one else’s. He could feel steam raising from his skin, the green monster of jealousy rearing its head inside his chest but he squashed it and held his breath for Timmy’s reaction.

Timmy shook his head and refused the offer with another smile. Why the fuck are you smiling so much?! Kick the moron already! He’s drooling all over you! JingYu yelled at his boyfriend internally and just when he thought enough was enough and should reveal himself, the slimy git stretched his hand forward and ruffled Timmy’s hair with a kind of fond expression that made JingYu vomit blood.

“ZhouZhou!”

He did not mean to shout or his tone to be a bark but fuck him if he cared about politeness at a crisis period like this. Yes, it was a crisis period. Timmy’s head shot up towards his voice and his face lit up like fairy lights, balming over JingYu’s burn.

“JingYu!” Timmy exclaimed with that special enthusiasm that was only for JingYu. “You’re here! Why didn’t you tell me you are coming here?” He asked, still grinning widely at him. JingYu did not return the smile though, as he was busy glaring daggers at the fuck face. With a final glare, he looked at Timmy whose face was dimming rapidly and gestured at his guitar.

Timmy immediately handed it over to him without even blinking.

JingYu was smugness personified. He looked at the guy down his nose. What now, fuckwit? See whom ZhouZhou belongs to? Yes, that’s right, he is mine, his expression screamed at the confused looking man

“Umm, JingYu,” Timmy’s uncertain voice broke his territorial prowling, “This, is Jason,” Timmy introduced, then turned to Jason-the-Happy-Dent who did not look so happy at the moment, “And Jason, this is JingYu.”

Jason extended his hand for a shake, “Hello, nice to meet you.”

JingYu looked at the hand with an arched up eyebrow then looked at Jason’s face, “I wish I could say the same,” and shook the hand with a force that he used only when contesting against a particularly hard opponent in BJJ.

Petty, so very petty. He knew he was acting like a dick and to be honest, this fierce jealousy that still burned his insides scared even him. He never knew he had it in him, never thought he could act this rude to a complete stranger. But he would not let anyone take ZhouZhou away from him. He would not stand any rivalry. Timmy was his and his alone.

“Erm...” Timmy interjected their staring match which had begun once again after JingYu’s reply. JingYu slid closer to his boyfriend, wrapped a possessive arm around the boy’s shoulder and said with the most fake smile he could manage, “I’m sorry we could not talk much but we have a dinner date for which we’re getting late. So, night.” He turned and started walking without giving Timmy any chance to say his good bye. And when his boyfriend tried to crane his neck to look back, JingYu tightened his hold in a way that made the movement difficult for Timmy.

“JingYu?”

But neither did he answer nor looked at Timmy’s way, and once he was sure that they were out of Jason’s line of sight, he promptly let go of Timmy but did not stop walking.

“JingYu? What was that? What’s the matter?” Timmy asked agitatedly from behind, trying to keep up with JingYu’s steps.

When JingYu still refused to reply, Timmy shouted a “Hey, answer me!” and forcefully turned JingYu towards him by grabbing the upper arm.

JingYu exploded.

“What’s the matter you ask? You couldn’t even bother to reply me because you were too busy playing touchy feely with what’s-his-face! You knew I’d waiting for you but you still kept giggling with him. Did he offer to take you home too? Or had any other plan? And who the fuck he is exactly?”

Timmy gaped at him with open disbelieve, “Playing....touchy feely? What the hell is that supposed to mean? And I didn’t see your text, I swear! Have I ever ignored your text or call deliberately?”

“Well, of course you didn’t. You were too busy staring at his phone while he looked at you as if you could eat you up.”

“Wait, what?” If anything, Timmy looked more confused, “could eat me up? What are you talking about? And how long have you been there? And he was showing me a Van Gogh painting.”

“That’s not the point, Timmy! That guy clearly fancies you and you acted like as though you were enjoying it. Or are you really that dim to realize that?”

When Timmy stood there looking knowing and uncomfortable, realization hit JingYu like a truck.

“You knew that he fancied you, didn’t you?” He asked even though the answer was clear from Timmy’s expression.

“Well, I didn’t know exactly. But Pip told me before about it,” Timmy fidgeted.

JingYu pressed both of his palms over his forehead and swept them over his hair. He felt like a fool that had been chasing shadows. So, Timmy already knew that guy liked him. Pip, Timmy’s best friend also knew that too. And they invited Jason to their group whereas Timmy had never invited him once. Was now the time Timmy would get rid of him? Was he getting tired of JingYu already? What was JingYu going to do if Timmy left? And why the fuck he would let go of him that easily? Because He would not.

Timmy was saying something but except for the buzzing sound, the words did not get past his fury. He strode to Timmy and grabbed the front of Timmy’s jacket with both hands, bunching the material in his fists, and pulled his boyfriend close so that they were nose to nose.

“I will not let you go that easily, you hear me? Get that into your pretty little head. If you think that it would be easy you’re wrong because it won’t.” JingYu’s manic eyes fleeted back and forth between Timmy’s wide ones. “You think it’s a good idea to make me addicted to you and then leave me?” JingYu fingers twisted more into the cloth, “It’s a very, very bad Idea, ZhouZhou,” he said the name with a dark relish, licking over every letter. “I didn’t know I had it in me but the idea of you being with someone else turn me into a beast.” They were so near that JingYu could taste Timmy’s breath in his own lips. “I am a possessive bastard when it comes to you. I cannot tolerate anyone else doing the things I do to you, for you. No one has the right to touch you, to make you laugh, to give that look in your face; to take you away from me. Because You. Are. Mine. Only mine. So, even if you like him back, even if you are already bored with me, even if I cannot give you the things he can, I won’t let you go as long as you don’t beg for it. I won’t. I won’t.”

Timmy hugged him the way a drowning man held onto straws.

“If I ever leave you that will be because I want you to find me again and make me yours completely.”

JingYu’s body swayed as though in a trance. His hands where still tangled in Timmy’s jacket, squeezed between their chests. Timmy’s hot breath was brushing against his neck and ear. Being in a public place, they must be making quite a spectacle.

He tried to get out of the embrace. Timmy did not let him. Since when he was this stronger?

“Since you became my strength.”

JingYu realized that he must have asked that aloud when Timmy’s answer reach him.

“Let go,” he demanded. Still not ready to sweet talk.

“Why?”

“People are watching.”

“Then let them. We make a good couple. Treat for the eyes,” he leaned back to look at JingYu, “Or do you think otherwise? Don’t I look good with you?”

JingYu made a low guttural noise, possessiveness going fierce again, “You look good only with me, you understanf? Only with me. Only mine.”

Timmy cocked his head like a curious bird, eyes glinting with something forbidden, “Don’t growl with that voice if you don’t plan to fuck me here and now.”

JingYu groaned and barely managed to hold back from devouring Timmy.

XOXOXOX

The shop lady placed two bowls of rice noodle soup with meat balls and a plate of dumplings with lamb stuffing in front of them. Timmy thanked her and looked at JingYu who had yet to lift his head from the table or talk. He had been acting like this till they entered the subway. After JingYu had blown off his steam and they hugged, Timmy really hoped for the things between them to be back to normal. But so far, nothing as such happened. JingYu’s reaction to Jason had thrown Timmy off the loop completely, in a very good way. Timmy wanted his boyfriend to be possessive about him, to be jealous, petulant, clingy and even dominating at times. He did not lie when he said he wanted to be owned by JingYu. But his usually quiet and annoyingly considerate boyfriend always walked on thin ice around him, treating him as a glass figurine. While Timmy was more than happy to be spoilt rotten by his lover, sometimes he really wished to know if JingYu felt equally jealous. Tonight, it seemed, his wish was granted and he should be ecstatic. But looking at JingYu’s guilt ridden and pained face, he realized that it did not worth it.

Even though JingYu did not demand for it, Timmy had told him about Jason on their way here. He had told him that Jason was his senior at the University, an Art major, who requested to attend their jamming because he was researching about the artistic interpretation and influence of Post Modern music on the contemporary Art. Timmy did not think much of the request even though he knew about Jason’s interest in him. But what Timmy did not tell JingYu to avoid further misunderstanding was that there was a time when Timmy seriously contemplated dating the guy; it was before he came across JingYu. Jason was good looking, descent, popular and artistic; in short everything Timmy thought was his type. But after meeting JingYu, he knew whom he was destined to.

“Hey?” He called softly.

JingYu lifted his head and looked at the food, carefully bypassing looking at Timmy.

“Oh. Umm, I’m not hungry,” JingYu said.

Timmy sighed, “JingYu, will you please look at me?”

JingYu’s eyes shot at him for a moment before averting again.

“Yeah?”

“I know for a fact that you haven’t eaten in hours and this is our dinner for tonight. Eat something, please.”

“I don’t want to.”

“JingYu-“

“I’m sorry I shouted at you,” JingYu blurted out frowning heavily at his plate.

“I’m not,” Timmy replied honestly.

That earned him JingYu’s full stare.

“What?”

Timmy rolled his eyes, “No need to look so peeved. I mean, who the hell doesn’t want their partners to be jealous and territorial about them? I sure as hell do.”

“Oh,” JingYu said eloquently, clearly never thought of as a possibility before.

“Yes, oh. Now will you please eat? Otherwise I won’t either and I am famished already.”

JingYu did not say anything and took his chopsticks. But while munching on a bun, Timmy noticed that JingYu was yet to eat something.

“I-“ his boyfriend started before he could chide him again, “I won’t force you or hold you back if you...if you ever want to leave. I know I said otherwise but I’m not- I don’t-“ he stammered and trailed off awkwardly.

“You will let me go? Just like that? No fight, not giving me reason for staying?” Timmy asked seriously because he would raise a hell if JingYu ever tried to leave him and it sort of hurt knowing that JingYu did not feel the same compulsion.

“If I need to provide you reason in order to make you stay, then, it would be a logical relationship, not an emotional one. I don’t want that for either of us. Logic only had driven me away from you. I don’t trust it when it’s about us,” he answered looking straight at Timmy, and then he lowered his eyes again.

Timmy internally sobbed like those smitten anime characters, he could swear he was physically melting too. He took one of JingYu’s legs in between his two under the table. When it did not make JingYu look at him, he squeaked animatedly, “Notice me, senpai!” And burst out in giggles.

Finally an exasperated, fond smile broke across JingYu’s face and he shook his head before taking a meatball and holding it in front of Timmy’s mouth, cupping his chin for any excess dribble.

They ravished the food like two hungry dogs and when Timmy about to get up, JingYu’s voice stopped him.

“ZhouZhou,” he took something out of his jeans pocket, put it on the table and pushed it towards Timmy, “keep this. So that you won’t have to wait outside when I am late.”

It was a key. A key to JingYu’s flat.

Timmy’s eyes widened comically. Holy shit! “You’re giving me...a key to your house?”

“W-well, I thought it was convenient and-”

“For convenience’s sake?”

JingYu must have sensed the disappointed anguish in his voice for he said, “No. That was a lie. I made a spare because I wanted you to have it. Because it makes me happy thinking that it is your home too.”

This night was all about seeing JingYu in a different light.

He took the key, took JingYu’s hand and said, “It is my home. You are my home.”

XOXOXOX

Timmy stopped JingYu and whipped out his own key with a flourish after they arrived at the flat’s door.

“I have my own key now and I’m gonna open the door with my own key,” Timmy said in a make believe haughty tone and made a show of opening the door. JingYu rolled his eyes at this kid’s antics.

“How old are you again?” JingYu asked taking off his shoes.

Timmy glued himself to him from behind and said in a ridiculously raspy tone, that were meant to be seductive but sounded like he had bronchitis, “Enough for you to fuck me.”

JingYu grabbed Timmy’s hand to pull him in front and shook his index finger, “No sex tonight. We’ll shower, you’ll study then we’ll sleep.”

Predictably, Timmy looked aggrieved immediately, “You’re kidding me, right? We’re on our sex holiday! Having sex like wild bunnies should be the main point, JingYu!”

JingYu “mmhm’d” noncommittally and moved into the room to take off his coat, shirt and so on. He desperately needed a shower.

“Or maybe I can ask Jason.”

JingYu’s fingers stopped unbuttoning his shirt; eyes paused at a point on the wall.

“Going by your and Pip’s words, he will be eager to-“

JingYu slammed Timmy to the nearest wall but made sure to cup the back of his head so that the impact did not hurt Timmy.

“Do not finish that sentence, or God help me I won’t be held responsible.”

JingYu hissed and watched Timmy’s lashes flutter by his exhale. Of course he knew his wicked boyfriend was deliberately riling him up, but his heart was still too raw to act rationally.

“What will you do if I finish it?” Timmy asked looking at JingYu’s mouth, teeth biting the corner of his own lip.

“You’ll see.”

“Jason will be so really to fu-“

This time it was JingYu’s mouth that was slammed with Timmy’s. He sucked on to those full lips so hard that Timmy’s body leaned forward from the pull and he moaned loudly.

“I know what are you trying to do,” he husked while panting heavily, “but you’re not allowed to even joke about it, you hear me?” He tangled his fingers in Timmy’s hair not so softly, “You are mine.”

And ravished Timmy’s mouth again before quickly beginning to undress the boy. Timmy was not an idle participant either and did his share by removing JingYu’s shirt and unzipping his jeans in between the bites he kept giving to JingYu’s jaw and neck.

Once down to their shorts, JingYu framed Timmy’s face with both hands and mashed their lips again and said, “You wanted me to possess you? Want me you fuck you?”

“Yeah,” Timmy moaned breathily.

“Then that’s what you’ll get tonight.” With that JingYu lifted Timmy up off the ground by the waist and set his feet over his own and walked to the bathroom while Timmy kissed him hungrily.

He turned on the shower and manhandled Timmy to face the wall.

“But JingYu-“

“You will do as I say, ZhouZhou. You don’t have a say in this, not tonight. You wanted this, remember?” He groused into Timmy’s inflamed ears.

“I did, oh fucking God, I did”

The water splattered down on them as JingYu began to suck every inch of Timmy’s wet body. He bit the soft skin just under the jaw and suckled on it with all his might. Timmy had classes tomorrow and undoubtedly would meet Jason. He wanted to leave his mark on a visible place so that Jason, or anyone who was interested, would know that his ZhouZhou was off limits. He left such similar hickeys on his throat, neck, over his heart, on his stomach and on his left thigh too. By the time he reached Timmy’s arse, his boyfriend was groaning and cursing so loudly that for a moment JingYu feared that his next door neighbour might knock on his door asking them to tone it down.

Taking the twin globes of impossibly soft flesh in his hand he started to squeeze and knead, all the while leaving butterfly kisses all over that bubble butt. Hot water, hot skin, hot breath, it was like a sexed up hell.

“Fucking God, JingYu fuck me. Fuck me already,” Timmy drew out the words, sounding wet from the water that hindered his speech. It ignited another kind of fire inside JingYu.

He squashed the arse hard and said commandingly, “I’ll fuck you when I see it fit, neither before nor after.”

“Oh baby, you’re killing me here,” Timmy whined.

JingYu stopped, “Are you in pain?”

Timmy looked over his shoulder wriggled his butt, “Yes.”

JingYu pinched him, “Cheeky brat.” Then, left an opened mouthed kiss with plenty of teeth on the small of his back. And stood up. He gripped Timmy’s left wrist and put it on the wall above his head; slipped his own right hand past Timmy’s waist and over his hardness. It felt searing hot in JingYu’s palm. He slotted his own leaking cock in between Timmy’s arse cheeks and began to roll his hips. His hand that held Timmy cock began its rubbing and stroking too.

“Please, JingYu....please, I’m ready.”

Came a plead to which JingYu answered, “Why now? You were all too ready to go to someone else just a moment ago. What happened to that?”

“No one, No one. Only you. I want only you, Jin. Please, baby. I want you so bad, mmmmhhh.”

Not stopping his movements for even a second, JingYu inserted one of his fingers into the hole and growled, “Yes, only me. Only I can touch you, fuck you, love you. I’m the only one just like you are the only one for me.”

After taking time to stretch Timmy, he bit down onto his shoulder, enough to induce a stingy pain and pushed his cock inside.

“Oh fuck fuck fuck......aaaaah....ohhh...” Timmy cried out.

He stopped and let Timmy get comfortable. Irrespective of whatever he was saying for the sake of the game, he had his head clear and eyes open for any sign of ZhouZhou’s discomfort. He never bit too hard, never pushed too strong. Never cursed at his boyfriend; always mindful about not to let this little game go too far. He might be jealous, possessive but all those came after ZhouZhou, not before him, never before him.

JingYu gave a push and Timmy moaned. Knowing that his baby was ready, he began to push and pull. Hand stroking Timmy’s cock along the rhythm. He kept his pace steady but not too fast. Slowly driving ZhouZhou on the edge.

Timmy had bent forward a little. Left cheek pressed against the back of his hand that was rested on the wall, arse pushed backwards at JingYu’s body.

“I’m- I’m gonna come, Jin...I’m gonna.....ahh...ah...”

JingYu stopped stroking Timmy’s cock immediately and squeezed at the tip.

“Uuuhhh....noo....wha’ are...oh Jin...no...”

“You’re not going to come unless I say so,” JingYu ordered with a hard push of his cock.

“Aaaahhh....nnnngnnno.....I can’.....fuck..oh..fuck...”

JingYu let go of Timmy’s cock entirely, lifted his right knee up and settled it against the wall. He then threw Timmy’s right leg over his bent thigh and resumed his fucking. Timmy’s head fell backward against JingYu’s shoulder. One arm circled around JingYu’s neck, the other held onto the thigh that supported his leg. JingYu’s fingers kept teasing Timmy’s balls, ghosted over his shaft, brushed the tip but never doing what Timmy wanted him to do the most.

JingYu pulled his cock almost all the way out then pushed hard back in, “You...are...mine.”

“Ye-ah...I’m...aaaah.....oh yesyesyes....Yes, I’m yours...baby...I’m...ohfuckingJin...touch me, JingYu....t-ah..ah..ah..touch me, please...touch me...”

JingYu gripped the bobbing and weeping cock again and squeezed from root to tip, making Timmy cry out.

“Jin...ohhhh...JinJinJin...please let me come, please....ohmygod...ssso good...so fucking...oooh.”

To be honest, JingYu had to grit his teeth to stop himself from coming what felt like for hours now. He had been on the verge for a long time, and decided that he had drawn the game out long enough and it was time to let go.

“Whose are you?” He husked, gyrating his hips, voice felt scratchy from the strain.

“Yours, I’m yours, completely....entirely,” Timmy said, surprisingly coherent all of a sudden.

“And whose am I?” JingYu asked again, because for some unknown reason he needed to hear that answer from ZhouZhou.

“Mine....” Timmy turned his head and kissed his sloppily, “You’re mine....mine alone.”

JingYu kissed back with all the strength he could muster up at the moment and said, “Come for me, love.”

His hand spilled over with Timmy’s white hot seed. JingYu followed suit.

XOXOXOX

They had settled themselves on the bed for the night, with sated body and mind and boneless limbs. Timmy was sitting in between JingYu’s legs, slumped back against his chest, reading a book. Result of JingYu’s begging and promising something that he surely would regret later.

JingYu smiled softly. One arm over Timmy’s stomach, with the other he was surfing through his phone. He put the device down and looked down at the boy in his embrace. Timmy’s head was tilted at one side, leaving his pale, smooth neck open to JingYu’s view. He had never seen someone so beautiful. It was not only the angelic physical beauty ZhouZhou possessed, it was more than that. It surpassed the mere limits of physicality and entered into the realm of surreal. ZhouZhou was pure, in every sense of the word. He had a soul so unblemished that JingYu sometimes feared for dirtying it with his uncouth, ordinariness. He placed a light, tentative kiss on Timmy’s neck and watched Timmy bringing JingYu’s hand from his torso to his mouth and kissing the knuckles. Although, he did not took his eyes off his book.

“I had never belonged to anyone before,” JingYu uttered suddenly after a long while was passed. He felt this urge within himself to say these words to ZhouZhou. This suddenly felt very important. “No one ever belonged to me, either. I was a less than ordinary kid from a poor household whose only purpose was, while growing up, to help his mother and himself survive through the next day, next month, next year.” Timmy was absolutely silent, head still turned to the book; it actually helped because JingYu did not think he could have talked if Timmy was looking at him. “When I was a kid, one day I went to the market with Mum. There was a big, fancy toy store there. It was this big, shining robot that caught my eye. It was red and blue and silver, designed with updated technology.” JingYu chuckled in remembrance. He could still vividly remember the toy. “I asked Mum if she could buy it for me and I still remember her guilty face saying that it was not for kids, it was for grownups and I would have one too when I grow up. I believed her, of course and promised to the stars, where I used to believe my dad was that I would have it after growing up. You know what happened a few days later? A boy in my class brought that same robot and showed it off to us, telling us how his dad gifted it on his birthday. I realized that Mum had lied to me but I never blamed her for that. I guess, growing up with need and poverty, with societal burden of being poor make one way mature than their age. Anyway, that day I told myself that I did not get the toy because I didn’t deserve it, and convinced myself so.” JingYu laughed again, lost in the memories. That was only the beginning though. “In my high school, I used to like a girl, I can’t remember for what exactly. Maybe she was beautiful or friendly towards me or something. I asked her on a date. She set a condition- if I could buy her a particular turtle shell hairpin, she would date me. It doesn’t need to be said that it was beyond my reach and some other guy bought it for her and they began dating. Again I convinced myself that she didn’t choose me I didn’t deserve her.”

Timmy’s body in his grip felt slack. When JingYu tightened his grip in concern, Timmy return the gesture with a bone crushing force and said with a strangely quiet voice, “Please, continue.”

He should have felt ashamed for blurting out such childish details about a long gone past, but he wanted Timmy to know how he became the way he was now.

“I found a dog one day, returning from my college. It was white with brown patches. A beautiful dog. Finally felt that I had a best friend. I used to spend almost all my spare time with it, used to take it with me everywhere. Mum used to tease me saying that I fathered a puppy, hehe,” JingYu giggled which died down the next moment; "He died one winter. Something happened. Took him to a vet, he needed a surgery. I somehow managed the money too but... Cried myself to sleep for days telling that I was undeserving and so he was snatched away from me.” He hugged Timmy to himself and buried his nose into that soft hair. “I used to look up at the sky a lot, you know, because that’s where I stored all my dreams. Dreams that I knew would never become a reality. It was like keeping a secret stash. But after meeting you,” he dropped a kiss, “I look at you for my dreams and try to tell myself that I can achieve those too. I can dream too without thinking of them as impossible.” He went quite but was not finished yet. “So, now you know where I am coming from, why I act the way I do. Why I tiptoe around you. Because I am in constant fear that I will lose you too, because someone like me doesn’t deserve someone like you. You are a walking dream, ZhouZhou. You are my sky. But I am too broken to believe that you can be mine too. I acted like a bastard today, not because I don’t trust you, but because I’m still not convinced that I deserve you. And I’m scared. That someday there will be someone better for whom you’ll leave. Because I have nothing to give you except for myself which doesn’t worth much.”

JingYu finished and closed his eyes. His insides were trembling with emotions.

When his breathing came back to normal and he realized that he had been almost squishing ZhouZhou, he loosened his arm immediately. But before he could apologize, Timmy moved and turned to him and stood up on his knees, making him taller than JingYu’s slumped frame. Timmy held his face on either side and brought them closer. His eyes were red rimmed, watery.

“I will be your red, blue, silver robot, I will be your high school crush, I will be your lost dog, I will be your dream keeper, I will be your sky, I will be your future, I will be your everything, JingYu, everything that you ever wanted but never had the chance to get. Because I am here to stay. Forever and more. I will be here to tell you that you deserve what you want and if you want me then you deserve me. I will be here to make you believe all this for the rest of your life. I will be here with you. I love you.”

There was something wet and sticky on his face but JingYu could not tell what it was. He was spell bound by the sight in front of him. Bewitched by those words. Mesmerized by how true it all sounded. He hugged ZhouZhou and brought him down over his lap.

“I don’t want you to be all those things. Because they are not you. I don’t want them, I want you.” He positioned Timmy’s smaller frame in a way so that his head was in the crook of JingYu’s inner elbow and JingYu stared down at him. “You are my Timmy,” kiss, “my ZhouZhou,” kiss, “my baby boy,” kiss, “ my horny kitten,” kiss, “my ZhouMeow,” kiss, “my baby,” “my love”, kiss, “my life,” kiss, “my everything.” He brushed his lips over Timmy’s forehead as if to seal his words.

“Please, be mine,” JingYu asked.

“I already am,” his ZhouZhou answered.

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Any thoughts about JingYu?