Ta da!!! Another update within the week!😀 I'm being a good panda, no?😎

Won't rant today. Just some important things-

I will update Wish Me A Starlight after this. And anyone interested in reading more of The Red Balloon? If yes, then let me know. I'll write it only if you guys are interested. Otherwise, it will stay inside my head. 😚

This chapter is....intense. A lot of things happening. Pay heed to them. They will have consequences.

The word limit of this chapter is precisely- 10,852, which is gigantic for a chapter. Sorry.😩 And as you guys know that I proofread/edit my stories myself, so, there bound to be some typos and error. I apologize for them.🙏🙏

Thank you so much for those who followed, commented and votes!💗 You make me feel humble and ecstatic!💗

Special thanks to-
@kittykatsc IamSam830 for making those gorgeous covers for me!!💗💗😍 Love you, guys!

The chapter cover 👆is edited by me. The manip belongs to the owner.

Hope you enjoy the read!🙏

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"All of these words whispered in my ear,
Tell a story that I cannot bear to hear,
Just 'cause I said it, it don't mean that I meant it,
People say crazy things,
Just 'cause I said it, don't mean that I meant it,
Just 'cause you heard it..."

- 'Rumour Has It' by Adele.

*************************

Chapter-25

"That means your friend is on a full on jerk mode at the moment, right?"

After Rebecca bumped into him she insisted on having a cuppa with him and they went to a nearby bistro. One thing led to another, Rebecca commented on how JingYu looked deathly pale and listless and words poured out of JingYu. He was not usually so ready to talk about his personal problems to others; therefore, it was a testament of how out of sort he felt that he openly discussed what happened with Boris.

"I don't know what has gotten into him. He wasn't this nosy all those years we have known each other-"

"It's not just being nosy, JingYu," Rebecca stopped him by cutting in, "Sounds like he low key threatened you. Maybe you can't feel it because your judgement is coloured by you friendship but to me it surely felt like an off handed threat."

JingYu was looking down at his tea cup, watching the finely cut leaf residue swirling at the bottom of the liquid, and quietly said, "I know. I felt it too." He looked up, "But I have no way out at the moment, Rebecca. I....I can't afford to lose this job. I can't."

He watched as the girl's expression softened and she rested her chin on her palm, looking thoughtful.

"Hmm, that certainly is not an option for you to consider right now. Not when Timmy is about to start his post grad."

JingYu did not respond and went on looking at his cup.

"Umm...do you want me to play your girlfriend again?"

"What?" The question caught him off guard completely.

"You know, like a smokescreen or a decoy?" She elaborated.

JingYu's felt confused, "But...what good would it do? I have more or less admitted that I and ZhouZhou are in a relationship. Then, how having a girlfriend would save the day now?"

Rebecca put on an expression as if she was about to explain the Quantum physics and asked, "Did you tell him in as many words that you and Timmy were in a relationship?"

"Well, not so detailed way but enough to be obvious."

"Great!" She exclaimed, "Which means, even if he recorded your conversation-"

JingYu's both eyebrows touched his hairline.

"-then also he won't be able to prove anything incriminating against you," she nodded at him, urging him nod back in understanding and continued, "And the decoy is more for you and Timmy than anyone else. If you have the cover of having a girlfriend, then other people, the ones Boris could influence, won't be inclined to believe that you are with a man."

JingYu blinked.

"Do you get the picture?" She asked.

"Ye-yeah, I somehow do but-"

"It's just a suggestion, JingYu."

"I know, I know. And I must admit that it definitely has some merits but-" won't ZhouZhou rip my head off if I so much as suggest it?

"I understand that 'but'," she laughed softly, "And whatever you do, make sure to talk about it with Timmy. A good communication will take you a long way. Trust me, I'm an expert in this."

JingYu smiled back, "I know. I am trying. I try to open up to him more now. And um, what you suggested....will it safeguard him?" He wanted to know because that was his only priority, to keep his boyfriend secure.

"I think so. At least that's how I perceive the situation."

JingYu nodded in understanding, mentally reviewing everything, calculating.

"I'm here to help you guys if you need any because you two are too good to be bothered by a moron like your friend. But discuss this first with Timmy. I don't want to be murdered in my sleep before my wedding," she finished with a hearty laugh.

"You're getting married?"

"Yes, in January."

"With your-"

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, JingYu, with my same old boyfriend."

"Wow, congratulations! It's- it's a great news!"

She shrugged, "Thanks."

"So, um, if you don't mind me asking, why are you trying to help us, then? I mean, won't your boyfriend object?"

"I am not going to do anything behind his back and he knows it. As for helping you, you two deserve to be happy with each other just like any other couple. And if I can help to ensure that, that'd be my pleasure."

When his own long time friend was trying to bring him down, when Timmy's own parents were giving him cold shoulder for being who he was, this gesture from someone whom JingYu did not even treat well in the past made him feel humble and grateful.

"Thank you, Rebecca. It- it means a lot, you know?"

"I know," she said with a haughty air then grinned, "Let's not go into all that formality, yeah?"

JingYu smiled back, "All right. Um-" he hesitated. There was something in his mind but he was not sure if it would be appropriate to ask her.

"What is it?" She urged.

"Well, I...wanted to ask you something but don't know if it would be decent or..." He trailed off looking sheepish.

"Oh, come off with it, will you?"
Hesitating for another second, he finally asked her, "Umm, for your wedding, have you...uh...are you going to buy, you know-" he gestured at the general direction of his face and neck, "jewelleries?"

She frowned and JingYu bit his tongue. This was so not appropriate.

"Yeah..but-"

"No, I'm sorry. Nevermind me. I'm just having a weird day. Please excuse my-"

"Stop it and tell me what do you want to know."

"No, it's not proper for me-"

"It's all right, JingYu, just tell me, all right?"

JingYu could not even look at her, he felt so stupid.

"It's just-" he wetted his dried lips, "Timmy's birthday is coming and-" should I tell her? I need help and she could help. But what if... "And I planned for something. But I am not sure if it's okay for me to do this. And I have no knowledge about these things anyway. And I can't possibly ask him as it's a surprise. Well, I thought it would be, you know, good as a surprise-"

"JingYu-"

"-but I'm not so sure-"

"JingYu-"

Her voice stopped him abruptly.

"Oh, um, yes?"

"You're babbling."

Even his ear tips felt hot with embarrassment, "Sorry, I- I'm not feeling like myself today. Sorry."

"Do you plan to gift him some sort of jewellery?"

"Yes," JingYu said chewing his lip," JingYu said chewing his lip.

"And?"

Dithering for a bit longer JingYu decided to confide in her. He really needed the help to pull this through.

"I want to give ZhouZhou something on his birthday that would be meaningful to him. Something that would symbolize our, um, our love." Face going warm again, "So, uh, so, I thought how about a ring. Like a promise. I have been saving up money for this. But I'm not so sure anymore. I mean, I have never done this before and he may not even like it-"

"Are you kidding me?" Rebecca exclaimed, "He would love that! Who wouldn't?! My boyfriend gave me an orchid for my first birthday with him and I melted even though I didn't know the first thing about plants!"

"So.... should I give him an orchid instead?" JingYu asked tentatively, not really liking the idea but he was no expert in this anyway.

"Of course not! Why would you want to give him a plant instead of a promise ring? Are you insane? No, the ring is the best choice."

"Don't you find it cheesy?"

"Well, to be honest, it is cheesy to some extent-"

JingYu's stomach dropped.

"-but that does not imply that it isn't a wonderful gesture. And considering how smitten Timmy is with you, he would be ecstatic if you give him a paper bag. He will love it, don't worry."

The sudden image of ZhouZhou jumping up and down with a paper bag dragged a laugh out of JingYu.

"You think so?"

"I know so. I love someone too. I know how it feels."

Well, he could not argue with that, could he?

"Will you help me? Nothing much. Just maybe refer a shop or something."

"Even better, I'll take you to my jeweller. I have been meaning to go there, do some early wedding shopping. This just gave me a push. In fact it's near your modelling agency too! Monique."

Relief seeped into JingYu's heart and he felt somewhat happy for the first time today. He smiled widely.

"Thank you so much, Rebecca. You are always appearing just in time to save us."

"Oh, no worries about it. I totally ship you two. I'm gonna text you when I'll be going to the shop, is that all right?"

XOXOXOX

JingYu met Timmy outside the library, the way they decided to meet. Pip was with Timmy and JingYu extended the lunch invitation to the other boy too but was refused with a fumbling "No, thassokay, 'm full. Bye". He might be wrong but that boy always seemed scared to death around him. However, they went to a restaurant that served Indian cuisine. Timmy was in the mood for something spicy.

After the food arrived and JingYu narrated his meeting with Boris, eliminating all those things that might agitate ZhouZhou, which meant everything that Boris told him regarding his relationship. He would tell him later; he did not want to ruin their lunch date. Timmy pouted for a bit for not getting the chance to go on a vacation but soon cheered up, telling JingYu that after his admission, they could go to Dandong again. JingYu did not admit it but seeing ZhouZhou wanting to visit his home again left him with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

"I ran into Rebecca today," he opted for a casual approach to bring up the topic; maybe he could ease up the conversation and tell ZhouZhou about Boris too. He really wanted to. He felt shaken and needed ZhouZhou to anchor him.

The morsel of butter chicken dropped from Timmy's chopsticks as his movement ceased.

"Rebecca?"

"Mmhm," JingYu gave an affirmative sound while filling Timmy's bowl.

"Why?"

JingYu blinked, "Why?"

Timmy frowned and shook his head, "No, I mean, how?"

"Oh. Well, I was about to enter the subway when she saw me and called me."

"Is that why you were late?"

JingYu's hand stopped too. He looked back and forth between Timmy's bowed head and how he was tossing and turning his food.

"But I wasn't late. I reached there at 1o'clock sharp." He was sure of it. He had been checking his watch constantly for the fear of being late.

"You were three minutes late," Timmy said stiffly and kept turning his food.

Hearing that what JingYu really wanted to do was to topple everything on the table and storm out of the place. But he had to reign in his temper. Timmy did not know about his shitty day, he was not aware of JingYu frantic nerves. If he did he would not have acted like this. JingYu must not let out his frustration on his boyfriend.

So, instead, he apologized, "I am sorry if I was." However, his tone was clipped, despite him trying to sound normal.

That must have gotten Timmy's attention as he looked up at JingYu but JingYu refused to make any eye contact.

"What does she want?" Timmy asked and to JingYu's ears it sounded more like an accusation than a genuine question.

"Nothing. Let's just eat. I'm hungry," and JingYu dug into his food without giving Timmy any scope to speak further. He could not deal with this pettiness. Not now at least.

XOXOXOX

Timmy shot a sidelong glance to the quiet figure walking beside him. They were on their way to home. Their conversation never resumed after that moment in the restaurant, and now it was even more stilted. He did not mean to tip his boyfriend off, he really did not but there was a pain, mixed with fire, that had been shimmering within him for days now and it did not let him have a peaceful moment with JingYu. He could not swallow it, could not throw it out either.

"You have an off day today? Timmy aimed for small talk, unable to take this tensed silence between them.

"No," JingYu answered precisely, looking ahead of him.

"Are you going home with me?" Timmy tried again.

"Looks like so," JingYu did not relent.

Timmy did not try anymore. They boarded the train.

It was crowded, this time being the rush hour and they stood near the door. Usually, with one hand JingYu used to hold the hanger, with another Timmy. But today JingYu's free hand hung limp beside him; he did not make any effort to hold Timmy.

Timmy's throat throbbed in pain. He grabbed JingYu's hand by force and looked at him. Though the taller man curled his fingers around Timmy's smaller ones, he did not turn his head to look at him.

Timmy never averted his eyes off JingYu. JingYu never looked back.

They had to let go of the hands once they got off the train and Timmy mourned the loss immediately. The pain in him was reaching a fever pitch and JingYu being complete aloof towards him was not helping at all.

He had acted out, he knew he did but he was jealous. He did not trust Rebecca, nor Boris, nor anyone, or anything. JingYu was his and his alone. And when he hardly got time to spend with his JingYu, then how dare others tried to steal those precious remaining moments from them? He could not let them do that. JingYu was his.

He seethed.

He waited till JingYu opened the door and they got inside. And then he was grabbing JingYu's jacket collar, slamming him against the closed door, digging nails into the soft flesh of his neck and bruising his lips with kisses. It was animalistic, devoid of any tender love. A fight for marking his territory. The initial sock of his action must have made JingYu immobile as he stood there like a mannequin.

"You are angry because I did not ask after your ex girlfriend?" Timmy sneered and bit JingYu's lips, "You're giving me cold shoulder because I didn't sweet talk about her?" He tried to rip open the front of JingYu's Polo t-shirt but the fabric did not give away, which fuelled his rage more. "You care about her so much," he smashed his own body with JingYu frozen one and began to grind his hips, "so bloody much that you ruined our date? So fucking sensitive for your ex. Way too much."

This time JingYu began to struggle too.

"Zhou- ZhouZhou, let-mnph,"

Timmy sealed his lips upon JingYu's, not in the least bit interested in listening to his boyfriend's protests.

"Let go, ZhouZhou, let go off me,"

"Why? So that you can run to her? So that she can prove how much better she is?"

"Wha- what the hell are you talking ab-"

"She is beautiful, she's independent, she has everything-"

"Enough! Do you even hear yourself? What the-"

"-whereas I'm nothing. I have no money, no job, solely dependent on you. I'm a burden now, aren't I?"

Timmy gripped JingYu's neck and went to kiss him again, to bite his lips, to make them his own but JingYu caught his wrists and held him away.

"Timmy! Stop it now. Stop whatever the fuck is going on. Calm down, let's talk this through. Whatever you are conjuring up is not real, you hear me? It's not-"

"Oh, it's Timmy now, is it?" he snarled through painfully clenched teeth, no trace of rationality in his manic eyes. He stretched his hands to grab JingYu's hair to pull his face closer to his own, and hissed, "But guess what, I will not let you go!"

And bit down on JingYu's neck viciously, then sucked on the spot like his life was dependent on it. He did not even feel it when JingYu lifted him and carried him to bed.

But once his back touched the mattress the reality hit him and he pulled and flipped JingYu ferociously on the bed, straddling him by sitting over his hips.

JingYu tried to placate him by holding his forearms and constantly calling at him.

"ZhouZhou, ZhouZhou, baby listen to me. You need to calm down. Baby, please calm down. I'm here, I'm yours. Please calm the fuck down, ZhouZhou!"

"Why should I calm down?" Timmy leaned down and hovered over JingYu's face. "Why should I let you go? " A dollop of his spittle landed on JingYu's chin and Timmy promptly licked it and bit that prominent chin. Due to JingYu's consistent head shaking the skin was grazed. Timmy loved it. Another mark on JingYu's body that spoke of his possession.

"Timmy, don't leave marks. Don- oh fucking god, Timmy stop biting me! Boris would have my head, I won't get a job, stop marking-"

If Timmy had even a sliver of rationality left in him before, it completely evaporated with that.

"Everyone has a claim on you, is that what you're trying to tell me? Everyone except me? I should refrain myself? I should stay away? I should wait behind everyone?"

"Oh god- oh fuck- no, i did't- love, my baby, just stop for a moment and tell me what's wrong, all right? Let's just sit and talk and you tell me what happened." With his one arm against Timmy's chest, JingYu put some distance between them, and with his right hand he cupped Timmy's face, "I'm yours. Only yours. You come first. You are everything to me, ZhouZhou. You know how much I love you, don't you?"

Timmy was staring at him the way a wild animal observed his prey. A Cheshire grin split his mouth.

"I want to fuck you."

JingYu's body beneath him stiffened immediately and completely.

"Wh-What?"

"Yes, I want to fuck you. You've never been fucked before, right?" he asked. He had stopped his thrashing but did not lean away.

"ZhouZhou- wha- no! What?"

"Then I want to be your first," taking advantage of JingYu's slackened hold, he ran his fingers through JingYu's face, "And I want to be your last."

JingYu screwed his eyes shut and took two large gulps of air before saying, slowly so that Timmy would not miss a word, "ZhouZhou, you cannot fuck me."

Timmy's hackles rose again and he scowled suspiciously, "Why? You can fuck me but I can't? Why? Is there someone-"

"No, there is no one else. Only you. Always you. But I am not prepared for it. And I want you to be in your senses if that ever happens."

"I'm in my senses, see?" Timmy licked a stripe of JingYu's skin and began to suck on a spot of his throat.

JingYu tried to forcefully detach him, "No. You can't do that because I said no. You remember that we do not force each other if we say no, right? You know that, don't you? This is our thing. This is ZhouZhou and JingYu's rule."

Timmy's head, eyes, ears, skin, everything was buzzing; he felt sluggish but still he could not stop here. He needed to make sure JingYu was his. His JingYu. His only.

"Then fuck me." And without any delay or warning, he started to unbuckle JingYu's jeans.

"What? Oh my god. Oh god, no! ZhouZhou, you are not- Zh- no, don't tug, no! Goddammnit fucking-"

But Timmy had stripped JingYu off of his jeans and briefs and undressed his own lower half too with a supersonic speed. Now he directed all his attention what lay limp in between JingYu's legs.

"Why aren't you hard?" He asked with that same trace like frenzied expression again. "Don't you find me attractive anymore? I am hard, feel it?" He held and pressed JingYu's hand over his crotch. It was rock hard. He shivered with JingYu's touch.

"ZhouZhou, baby," JingYu's voice was on the verge of breaking, "my love, please. What has gotten into you? Why are you doing this? Why today of all-" he quickly checked himself but it was too late. Timmy's dimming eyes flamed up again.

"Today? You don't want me today? Because you met her today? You want her today? Huh? Tell me! You don't want me? But I will make you want me."

He straddled JingYu once more and stood on his knees to line JingYu's cock to his entrance. This time JingYu became frantic.

"No! Tim- ZhouZhou, no! I said no! You hear me. Don't do it. You are not prepared. I have not prepared you. You can't take raw. Don't you fucking do it, ZhouZhou!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Timmy yelled at the top of his voice and lunges forward, "I don't fucking care, JingYu! I want the pain. I need the pain. I'm hurting so bad, in here," he thumped his chest, " and I want to hurt you. As bad as I am hurting. And I want you to hurt me. And then we will be equal. You will know. I won't be insufficient. And you will not leave me. I will be worthy. I will be equal. You won't leave me, you won't work too hard, I won't miss you, no one will take you away, we will be like before, you will love me, I won't be a burden, I won't be a burden, I won't be a- a"

And then he began to shake, all over, awfully. Extremely. His legs, arms, torso, head, face, heart, lungs, insides, everything shook. And along with it, tears began to flow. He lost his balance and JingYu caught and enveloped him within.

Timmy shook. JingYu shook with him and held him like a life line.

"You are not a burden. You are never a burden. You are my everything. My life. My love. My baby boy. My ZhouZhou. I am never going to leave you. No one is ever going to take you away from me. I am here. I am yours. You are mine. We are ours. I love you. So much. So very much. I am so sorry that I can't give you as much time as before. But that's because I am trying to build a better life for us. A better home. You and me. Only us. No one else. Only my ZhouZhou. I love you. I love my ZhouZhou. Only you. You are my everything. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I love you. And you are going to have a surprise in your birthday. You will love it. I promise. I love you. I promise. I promise. I promise," JingYu's voice parched and cracked, his limbs felt like leads, head felt blank but he still chanted those words again and again and again.

Because ZhouZhou was still howling in heart wrenching pain against his chest and JingYu's could not stand to see him like this.

"Love, my precious baby, I'm here, I'm here, don't cry, love, please don't cry like this."

"I.....I.....miss.....you....." Timmy's voice was slurry and wet and broken but JingYu could understand each word. They vibrated within his heart.

"I miss you too. I'm here now. I love you, I'm right here."

"I'm so...." another bout cry and hiccups, "I'm.....sorry.....I'm sorry....I'm sorry......I'm sorry...."

"Shh, shhh, no. No baby, don't cry, there is nothing for you to be sorry about. You didn't do anything wrong. I am sorry, I couldn't give you time. I'm sorry, not you. Never you." He rubbed his hand up and down Timmy's still trembling back and soothed him.

"You- JingYu.........."

"Yes, ZhouZhou? I'm here. Tell me?"

"You weren't.....you weren't looking at me.......din't hold my hand......JingYu........JingYu.........JingYu......JingYu.........."

JingYu's heart broke in such a way that he feared it may never recover again. He wanted to throw himself off a tower.

"I'm sory, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have done it if I knew it would hurt you this much. Baby, I'm so sorry. And I will accept any punishment, just don't cry anymore. You'll make yourself sick, baby."

"Ji- Ji-" he hiccupped, but thankfully his cries were tapering down, "JingYu.......JingYu......JingYu....."

He chanted the name continuously, as if incapable of uttering anything else. Or maybe he was incapable at the moment. And JingYu held him with all his might, dropping soft, dry kisses on him, breathing him in and apologizing even though no one was at fault here.

They stayed like that till late at night.

XOXOXOX

If JingYu thought the clouds had parted last night, he was wrong. The next morning was gloomier than any day they had spent together. Timmy was slow, deathly quiet and withdrawn. He turned his face away when JingYu went to kiss him, resulting the kiss falling onto Timmy's cheek.

"Still angry with me?" JingYu asked softly. He had one of his arms wrapped around Timmy's waist, pulling the smaller frame flush to his own body.

Timmy shook his head after a while, still staring at the wall.

"Want to talk about last night?"

Another head shake.

JingYu did not probe anymore. Not because he was someone who rarely ever coaxed people to talk to him; his usual rules did not apply with ZhouZhou, but he thought it would be better for both of them if the boy talked voluntarily. The violent outburst that he witnessed last night was not a product of one single incident. That was Timmy letting go of his pent up emotions after suppressing them for a so long.

"I'm.....sorry," came a barely audible mumble after a long moment.

"Whatever for, love?" JingYu said readily, knowing that even the slightest pause could grow up to be void now.

"For last night...."

"It's all right, don't think about-"

"For what I've done...."

Timmy breathing was getting troubled, JingYu saw him swallowing down his tears. He began to thread his fingers through Timmy's hair, making shushing sound.

"It's okay. It's all right. It was nothing."

"I almost- I forced...I almost-" and he bit his knuckles from crying out.

JingYu got up on his elbow and jostled a very upset looking and reluctant ZhouZhou to turn towards him.

"No, you did no such thing. You did nothing. Nothing of that sort happened," he said firmly, broking no argument.

Still avoiding JingYu's gaze, Timmy croaked, "But I forced you." And covered his eyes.

"No you did not. Look at me, ZhouZhou. Look at me, please."

When Timmy did, JingYu looked at him with resolute eyes and said, "You were upset and lashed out. But you did not force me in a way that I could not defend. The moment I said no, you stopped. Or don't you remember that?"

"I did?" Timmy asked with a tentative voice that was laced with the barest hope.

"Yes, you did."

"I'm sorry." His face crumbled again.

"I know you are and that's all right. Nothing bad happened. I am all right. You are all right. It's done and be over with."

Knuckles still pressed against his lips, Timmy whispered, "I'm scared."

"What makes you scared, love? Tell me, please."

"Not having you in my life," Timmy rasped, two fat tear drops sliding down from the corner of his eyes.

The fear from Timmy transmitted and seeped into JingYu's heart, "But we will always be together, won't we?" His own facade of control and calm shattering like a house of cards. "Won't we, ZhouZhou?"

"Yes," Timmy nodded through his tears.

"We belong to each other. I belong to you," JingYu voiced his heart's belief against the skin behind ZhouZhou's ear and took a deep inhale. Assimilating himself to the essence of his love.

"And I to you," Timmy replied and hugged him back.

XOXOXOX

The week progressed, so did their situation. The drawback from the glitch, as Timmy termed that disastrous event, gradually eased up. JingYu left no stone unturned to make Timmy feel emotionally comfortable after that but it was Timmy that took time swallow his shame and guilt. JingYu did not act like the accident did not happen, which Timmy was more than grateful for, but he did not take that as an accident either.

"You are allowed to lose control with me, ZhouZhou," was his reply every time Timmy cringed away recalling his behaviour that night.

It took Timmy hours of self evaluation to finally realize why he did what he did. He felt abandoned. Since childhood he was very close to his parents. And the way they left him behind infected him with a deep rooted fear. What if JingYu would do that too? And he would have plenty of reasons too. This fear, teamed up with feeling insufficient, finally snapped Timmy's psyche.

But he wished he had not acted on instict.

He was well aware that if JingYu wanted to he could have hurt Timmy to make him stop. For a trained Jiu Jitsu professional like him, it would have been a cakewalk to physically placate someone of Timmy's stature. And yet, there was not even a scratch on Timmy's body from that night.

And JingYu's body was littered with bite marks.

Timmy hated himself more than ever.

This perpetual feeling of insecurity, this green monster in him ate at every nook and cranny of his being. He walked on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for JingYu to finally get tired of him. And he hated living like this. He hated it.

He tried to take it in rationally when JingYu explained why he asked Timmy not to mark him in any visible part of his body, that he might lose his contract if he showed up with hickeys all over. It did not sate his unease but at least he could rationalize it. But he could not keep his cool when seeing JingYu text he asked whom he was talking to but received no definite answer. He remained grumpy for the rest of the day and refused to pick JingYu's call.

And when JingYu showed up to his University gate and told him he was worried sick for him, Timmy hated himself more.

XOXOXOX

JingYu hated himself for lying to ZhouZhou. Well, technically he did not lie when he said he was texting a friend but for him, it was still lying by omitting the truth.

He was still at home that day when Rebecca texted him to fix the date they were going to buy ZhouZhou's ring. After seeing Timmy's reaction he did not dare to tell him about Rebecca's smokescreen plan and decided to let her know that he was not going to imply it. He could not make his boyfriend unhappy, that kid had suffered enough already. And he mentally apologized to him for meeting Rebecca without his knowledge. He hoped that once ZhouZhou knew the reason he would understand and would come to consider Rebecca as his friend too.

JingYu cracked his knuckles as he thought about this while waiting for his lunch at a food joint. It was the week before Timmy's birthday and if everything went well, Timmy would have a good birthday, or so JingYu desperately hoped for. He had already reserved two seats at a fancy restaurant for their dinner and now if he bought the ring successfully today, he could breathe a little easy.

Boris had asked him to come by; the papers for the next assignment had arrived. Rebecca said she would meet him outside the company and JingYu could hardly wait. The only tension remained now was the money. He thought he had saved enough but not having any prior experience, he feared that he might not have enough. What then? Time was also short to plan for something else.

He bit his lip hard. Well, this evening would decide everything for him.

XOXOXOX

Rebecca was waiting for him in the reception and after making sure that ZhouZhou was somewhere safe and busy and would not come here looking for him, JingYu took off with Rebecca.

The jewellery shop, Monique, was indeed near Boris' company but that did not register in JingYu as he was taken aback by how pricey the shop looked.

"JingYu? Come on, what are you gaping at?"

Embarrassed, JingYu quickly followed her inside the shop.

And boy, was he lost.

The shop assistant showed him quite a number of rings, some too simple, some too gorgeous and some too costly. After asking for it, Rebecca also voiced her thoughts every now and then, educating JingYu about the intricacies of jewelleries. JingYu felt lost and ringless.

And then his eyes landed on the perfect ring. A simple, matte gold band with a small infinity sign on it. Two tiny clear gems were chipped into the holes created by the sign. It looked simple yet elegant and the sign held the same meaning as JingYu's love for ZhouZhou. Infinite. Eternal.

Then his eyes caught the price tag and he did a double take. It was way more than his budget. His heart dropped.

"Hey, what's the matter? This one seemed to catch your interest. Not good enough?" Rebecca observed beside him.

"No, of course not. It-s it's beautiful. It's perfect. It's just..umm," he rubbed his forehead, eyes still on the ring.

"The price is too high?" She guessed and JingYu nodded. "Okay, so," she said after a while, "I'm going to suggest something and you are not going to take it otherwise, all right?" She stated rather than asked and when JingYu looked at her in confusion, she said, "How about you borrow some from me and pay me back when it suits you?"

JingYu did not even blink before refusing. It was not an alien concept to him to take friends' help but anything that concerned ZhouZhou he wanted to provide it himself. For his birthday too. In fact, specifically for his birthday. Thankfully Rebecca understood his emotion and did not insist further. JingYu might have to cut low on his personal expenditure but he would make this birthday perfect for ZhouZhou.

He booked the ring.

"Would you like it to be engraved, Sir?" The shop assistant wanted to know.

"Yes, I would like to but, um, won't it disrupt the design?"

"Oh, absolutely not, Sir. The design of the ring will remain the same unless you want it changed. But we do have a letter limit in case of engravings."

Getting the assistant's assurance, JingYu took the slip provided by the shop and wrote down what he wanted to be written inside the ring. He touched the Infinity sign one last time before it was boxed, tagged and kept aside for later proceedings. This was definitely the perfect ring for ZhouZhou.

He was asked to collect the ring the day after the next. Rebecca also bought a ring which she wanted to change the gems and was asked to collect it on the same day as JingYu.

"Let's come here together the next day and collect our rings," Rebecca proposed and JingYu did not see any way to reject without looking like an arsehole, so he agreed. Well, once ZhouZhou knew how much Rebecca wanted to help them he would surely sort out any negative feelings towards the girl.

And moreover, he was ecstatic to finally find the perfect gift for his ZhouZhou.

XOXOXOX

That night they made love softly, slowly. JingYu took time to undress, then, prepare ZhouZhou. He would stop to suck or nibble or lick at random places. Or would leave kisses on those rosy lips. His teeth would graze over a hard nipple; tongue would swipe near ZhouZhou's manhood. By the time he was done with preparing, his boyfriend was shaking with desire.

"JingYu........."

"Love?"

"Want you....."

"How do you want me?"

"Anyway....everyway...all the way..."

They had multiple orgasms that night.

Finally, sated with bodies that felt boneless, they lay under the sheets; JingYu spooning ZhouZhou's pliant frame.

"ZhouZhou?" JingYu's voice sounded dream like in that quite, dark room, against Timmy's warm skin.

"Hmm?"

"I love you to the Infinity."

A pause.

"And beyond?" ZhouZhou asked, tone playful.

It took JingYu a moment to realize that his cheeky boyfriend was referring to the Toy Story catchphrase. He bit the knobbly shoulder in front of his mouth.

"And beyond."

The day after the next, Timmy received a call from his mother.

XOXOXOX

When the caller ID showed his mother's face, Timmy could not believe his eyes. He had to double check it. Months without even a text and suddenly a call out of the blue? But still he could not ignore it.

Taking a calming breath, he tapped on the answer button.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Timmy?"

Timmy closed his jaw tight. Hearing that voice calling his name.....no matter what he said, his heart was not that strong.

"Mum."

Silence.

"How are you?"

"You are still interested in knowing how am I?"

Pause.

"Can you meet me today? I have something to tell you."

"What?"

"I cannot say that over phone."

"If you think that after turning your back at me you can barge into my life anytime and demand things then you are sorely mistaken, Mother."

Another pause.

"It is about your......friend."

A frown appeared on Timmy's face.

"Pip?"

Clearing of a throat.

"The....other one."

Timmy's jaw muscle flexed again.

"You mean my boyfriend."

"Yes, him."

"He has a name, Mum."

"Look, will you be-"

"If you cannot respect him I don't have anything to do with you."

"Timmy...."

An impatient noise. Pause.

"I have something to tell you about your boyfriend. Please, meet me at the cafe at Qin Guang street."

Curiosity got the cat.

"When?"

"Whenever is convenient for you."

"Then, I won't be able to before 7:30. I have a study class till then."

"Sure. Of course. And I am glad that you are still continuing your studi-"

He ended the call.

His heart was thumping fast. What could possibly Mum knew about JingYu? And why after two months? What happened?

That feeling of foreboding was back on full volume.

XOXOXOX

You must be in the class by now, so, I didn't call. I am going to be a little late tonight, an hour max. Don't worry about it. I'll buy dinner. And please, don't forget to eat something. I love you. -JY

Okay. Is it work again? I have something after the class too. So, I might be late too. If I don't return by the time you're home, don't panic. I'll call you. Don't work too hard. Eat. I love you more. -ZZ

XOXOXOX

He spotted his Mother the moment he entered the cafe. She looked beautiful and composed like always. He bee lined for her table.

"Mum," that was his greeting.

She turned his head and after staring at one another for a long moment, in which he thought he saw his mother's eyes moistening up, she gestured to the chair opposite her and said, "Please, sit."

He did and the staring continued for a few moments before Timmy impatiently said, "Why did you call me here?"

"How are you?" She extended her hand to touch his which was on the table but he moved it away from her reach.

"I'm sure you did not come here to ask after my well being. So, what is it?"

His mother suppressed a sigh and took out a manila envelope of her hand bag, laying it in between them.

Timmy frowned at the object. Was it another form of some sort? Was she here to cajole him in going to London?"

"What is it?"

"You'll know once you open it."

But when he went to do just that, she caught his successfully hand this time and stopped his progress.

"Timmy? Tell me the truth. How much do you know about JingYu?"

He was so unprepared for the question that he gaped at her.

"Excuse me?"

His mother pursed her lips momentarily before explaining, "I assume you haven't known him for much longer, have you? How does he treat you?"

Sparks flew inside Timmy's head, "Better than you and Dad did. He treats me better than anyone ever treated me in my entire life. And as about knowing him, I knew you and Dad since my birth, what good that did to me? JingYu makes me happy, mother. Something you failed to do."

Something hardened in his mother's eyes and she let go of his hand.

"I hope this," she gestured to the envelope, "will make you reconsider your perception."

Curiosity piqued beyond measure, Timmy wrenched open the folder and took out some photographs.

Some blurry long shot photographs.

Of JingYu and a girl.

Rebecca.

Of JingYu and Rebecca.

Inside a cafe.

Outside a subway.

On the road.

Outside Boris' company.

On the road.

Outside a shop.

Inside a shop.

Laughing inside the shop.

JingYu looking shy beside Rebecca.

Rebecca looking happy.

They were looking at each other.

Looking happy.

Outside the shop.

Facing each other.

Looking happy.

JingYu looking shy.

On the road.

Rebecca holding JingYu's upper arm while crossing the road.

Outside the subway.

Looking at each other.

Happy.

Rebecca and JingYu.

He sat still. Not moving. Not blinking. Not breathing.

Eyes on a photograph that held a shy looking JingYu. With Rebecca beside him.

He did not dare to breathe.

"That's a jewellery shop they went to. Monique. I know you might despise knowing that your father spied on him but it was all for making sure you were with someone who was good to you."

His mother's voice, those words reached him but did not make any change in his reaction.

"And....they bought rings."

After a while, as if hit by those words, the air knocked out of his chest. He looked up at his mother dumbly.

"I hope you know what that means."

No he did not. What did it mean? He did not know. What did it mean? What did it mean? WHAT THE HELL DID IT MEAN?

With a jolt he moved. First he collected the photographs without looking at them, shoved them inside the folder. Got up and headed towards the exit.

Before leaving he faintly heard his mother say, "I'm so sorry, Timmy. Your home is always there for you come back to."

Home? His home just shattered in front of him like a glass jar.

XOXOXOX

JingYu lied to me? He lied to me? He's been meeting her behind my back? He lied to me when he came home late all those nights? Has he been meeting her all along? What more did he lie to me about? He lied to me? JingYu? My JingYu?

They bought rings? "No, no no no, that can't be true. No. Mum's wrong. That can't be true. He won't do that to me. He would never do that to me. JingYu loves me. No no, it's not true. Not true. Not true."

Someone bumped into him on the street and yelled. He turned towards the person without even seeing them

"Those photographs are fake. He won't leave me. No, he won't. He has promised," He told to no one.

He stumbled while climbing the stairs of the building entrance. He did not care. He was not in the state to care.

This time a different receptionist was on the desk. Would he know JingYu?

"JingYu?" He asked the man who looked at him with a suspicious air.

"Sir?"

"Jing-" Timmy licked his chapped lips to bring some semblance of sanity in his speech, "Hu-Huang JingYu, is he here? Can I meet him? Can you call and tell him I'm here?"

"Sir, do you have an appointment to meet because we cannot interrupt during a-"

"Well, hello! Uh, Jimmy, is it?"

Timmy turned to the voice to see the owner of the establishment himself standing a few paces away from him.

"Is JingYu here? Can you tell him I'm here? I need to see him right now." He did not care how pathetically desperate he sounded.

Boris stared at him with a poker face for a moment before putting on a thoughtful expression, "Oh, but he already left."

When Timmy opened his mouth to ask when, the man added, "With his girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Timmy thought he asked but he was not sure.

"Uh, that tall, beautiful girl, that's his girlfriend isn't she?" Boris asked back.

Rebecca.

"She often comes here to meet him, so I assumed...oh. I'm so sorry! Did I assume wrong? Please, don't mind me. I'm sure it isn't anything. And I don't really know where did they go but- hey, where are you going?"

Timmy knew exactly where did JingYu and his girlfriend go. He stormed out of the place without even a second glance at Boris, thus, missing the smug smirk on the man's face.

XOXOXOX

The engravings came out just as JingYu expected. Perfect. He was satisfied with it would be an understatement. He could not wait to see it on Timmy's finger.

"Oh dear!" Came Rebecca's soft laugh.

There was a cotton candy stall near Monique and Rebecca demanded to buy her one when JingYu expressed his gratitude for helping him out. It was her pay, as she phrased it.

"What?" JingYu wanted to know.

"You're being all smiley and shy and beaming. It's goofy." She let out a good natured laugh.

"No, I'm not," JingYu protested but still was unable to wipe off the smile from his face. "It's just that the ring is perfect for ZhouZhou."

Rebecca agreed, "Yes, it is. It will look really good on him."

"He deserves only the best. I wish I could do more for him but I can't-"

"JingYu, cut yourself some slack, will you? It's the will that matters the most. And Timmy will absolutely love it."

"You think so?" To be honest, JingYu sort of knew the answer but he still needed the confirmation. He was oddly nervous about it.

"I know so."

A companionable silence fell between them. JingYu thought of ZhouZhou, of his smile, how he would react and what he was going to buy for tonight's dinner.

"By the way, how is everything with that moronic friend of yours?"

"Hmm? Oh, him. Well. It's usual. Still being a nosy git. Passes off handed remarks on my personal life every now and then. I absolutely abhor it," JingYu replied, nose scrunching up in disgust.

Rebecca stayed silent for a moment, looking thoughtful, then said, "Maybe you should quit. Call it a woman's instinct or whatever but I have a bad feeling about it. You deserve better than this."

Sighing tiredly, JingYu ran his finger through his hair, "I can't, Rebecca. However much I want to do it, I can't leave him right now. I can't afford to. And moreover, ZhouZhou's exams' are approaching. He'll start his higher studies soon. I can't do that to him. I wish I had other options but unfortunately staying is my only option right now."

Looking at him and nodding, Rebecca suddenly started to laugh, confusing JingYu.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Y-you," she said around his laughter, "You sound like someone who has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and now trying desperately to avoid child support!" More giggles followed.

At first he gaped at her but soon he began to laugh too.

"You'll make a horrible wife, you know. I feel really sorry for your boyfriend," he teased in a mock affront.

"But you'll make a wonderful boyfriend, I can tell," she said and continued to laugh.

XOXOXOX

"...However much I want to do it, I can't leave him right now. I can't afford to. And moreover, ZhouZhou's exams' are approaching. He'll start his higher studies soon. I can't do that to him. I wish I had other options but unfortunately staying is my only option right now."

Rebecca started to laugh. A soft, sultry, ringing sound.

"What? What's so funny?" JingYu was looking at her, face alight with happiness.

"Y-you," she said around his laughter, "You sound like someone who has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and now trying desperately to avoid child support!"

JingYu mirrored her laugh too.

"You'll make a horrible wife, you know. I feel really sorry for your boyfriend," JingYu said teasingly.

"But you'll make a wonderful boyfriend, I can tell."

Timmy's entire world was shifting on its axis. His soul spinned so hard as if caught in a whirlwind.

When he found them near the jewellery shop, he wanted to charge at them right away but JingYu's voice had stopped him. And now he did not even have the power to cry, let alone confront them.

It was all true. The photographs, those late night texting, his fear, they were all true. Everything.

Only their love was false? What they had between them was false? JingYu promises, his touch, his.....his love were false?

All the while when Timmy was scared, was dealing with insecurities, was pleading for reassurance, JingYu was laughing with his....girlfriend?

His JingYu? JingYu who woke him up with soft kisses in the morning? JingYu who sat him up on the kitchen counter and spoon fed him when he was too sleepy to do it himself? JingYu who hugged and soothed him when he was upset?

His JingYu? Who bought rings with Rebecca?

Who wanted to leave him but couldn't because Timmy was too pitiful to be left alone?

Everything was true, wasn't it? Or they were all false? What was it? His reality felt warped.

He did not know where he was or where he was going. He just knew that he was vomiting at a street corner and someone shoved a water bottle in his hand. The cool touch of the plastic reminded him of JingYu's touch when he had a fever.

But it wasn't real. It was plastic. All false and make believe.

His JingYu was not his anymore.

Or maybe he never was, to begin with.

XOXOXOX

Seeing the room dark after he got in, JingYu thought Timmy was not home yet, which was why he was startled out of his bones when switched on the lights.

Timmy was lying in bed, face up, hands stretched on either side, feet planted with the floor.

"ZhouZhou? Why are you lying in the dark? And in that position?"

Timmy's eyes were open, he was blinking at the ceiling yet he did not respond.

"ZhouZhou?" JingYu called again, concern creeping in.

"Are you done with your job?"

Timmy's question relieved him and made him nervous at the same time. Relieved because it proved that the boy was okay; nervous because he would have to lie to him again. He went to the kitchen to put the take away cartons. He would have to be mindful about his backpack too that held ZhouZhou's ring.

"Uh, yeah. I am. Sorry it took a bit longer," he said and went to the desk to put his backpack down.

Timmy was silent again. And still lying in that same position. Something felt off. JingYu stopped on his track and was just about to ask him what was wrong when Timmy spoke.

"It that what you call your partners these days? A job?" He then turned his face towards JingYu, "Am I a job too?"

He would not have felt this shocked even if being electrocuted.

What?

"ZhouZhou," he started, slowly, trying to measure the situation. He really did not want to have another episode. He was really happy today and wanted to bask in that feeling.

Timmy got up from the bed, eyes panning on JingYu. It was only then JingYu noticed that something in those eyes looked feral.

"Tell me, JingYu," he pinned JingYu with his eyes, "does she know that you call her a job?" He was standing in JingYu's personal space now, faces almost touching. "Or is it something you two came up with together? Discussing and laughing about how you were going to fool me?"

JingYu blinked rapidly, scourging his head for something, anything that would make things clear for this upset boy.

"ZhouZhou, listen, let's sit and talk, all right? There is nothing, I repeat, nothing between-"

"You smell like her," Timmy's eyes swept all over his face; it did not seem like any word JingYu said to him had gone through. "Do you know that? That you came home smelling like her? Came to me smelling like her?"

JingYu tried to calm his own nerves. This absurd accusations, this felt insulting to his love but he knew Timmy was not in his right mind.

He tried to hold his face, "Baby, just-"

His hands were flung aside.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me," Timmy bared his teeth. The hatred in those four cutting words physically pushed JingYu and he staggered back, eyes going wide.

"ZhouZhou, calm down, okay? Calm down and tell me what's going on. Why are you accusing me of these things? There is nothing between me and Rebecca-"

If anything, the moment that name left his mouth Timmy's face tightened even more.

"False accusations? False? Are you sure that you still want to keep lying? Because that's what you have been doing for all these months, aren't you?"

JingYu's jaw pained, "Timmy, think before you say these things. I have my limits too. I have never lied to you, Timmy. Don't do this."

Timmy had an incredulous expression on his face, "I can't believe you! I can't- I can't even- are you the same guy I fell for- your limits? You still have the nerve to talk about your limits?" he bent down and took up something from the bed. JingYu was still rooted to the spot.

"Then explain this!" And a manila folder was thrown at him. It hit his chest and fell to the floor.

JingYu was having a hard time to wrap his mind around what had been going on. Clearly Timmy had seen him and Rebecca today but to accuse him like this without even talking first? He honestly never expected to be doubted this way by his own boyfriend. By the person for whom he had been doing all this. Eyes mapping Timmy's expressions, he slowly took up the envelope.

"What is it?" He asked.

Timmy let out a bark of laugh, "The truth behind my false accusation."

JingYu almost tore through the cover and the photographs revealed themselves.

The more he looked the deeper his frown got, the tighter his jaw line became.

"You spied on me?" Finally his voice reflected the spite these photographs provoked in him.

"I would have believed if you said the Sun came up from the West, JingYu," a sob broke out of Timmy as he answered JingYu. "It would not have even crossed my mind," he swallowed and then his voice got back that edge once more, "But you know what, I am glad that someone did."

JingYu could not believe this was really happening! This couldn't be! This...Still surfing through the photos, he asked, "Who did this? Who sent you this? Because this says nothing! Why are you reacting like this?- ZhouZhou-" he looked at the pictures again, "I told you I met Rebecca, didn't I? I told you we had tea. I told you, remember?"

"But did you tell me that you were meeting her behind my back? Did you tell me that you were lying to me? Did you, JingYu? Did you?" Timmy shouted.

"That's because I wanted to surprise you!"JingYu shouted back. What the fuck was happening with them? Why was it happening? Why he could not reach the surface? Why ZhouZhou was doubting in his love?

Timmy's face twisted up, "Surprise me? Surprise me?! With what exactly? With your wedding invitation? And how long were you planning to keep this going? Till your wedding? Or maybe even after that? No harm in keeping something on the side, right?"

JingYu jaw dropped. "What?" He blinked in utter confusion, "Wedding? Whose wed- what the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything! What's going-"

"I was there tonight! I was there when you two were confessing your undying love for each other, talking about your wedding. Talking about how you wanted to leave me but couldn't," he spat. Every pore of him emitted a kind of hatred that stabbed at JingYu's heart in the worst way. "Am I a charity case to you? A pity fuck? You bastard! You played me! You fucker-"

In his agitation Timmy came near JingYu and the later took the advantage of it. He gripped Timmy's upper arms tightly and tried to make him listen.

"You're twisting things up. You had it all wrong! Yes, we talked about wedding-"

Timmy pushed hard at JingYu's chest.

"-but it was Rebecca's wedding! She's getting married in this January!"

"You bought rings! Can you deny it? You both bought rings, didn't you?"

"Yes, we did but-"

Timmy finally managed to get free of JingYu's hold.

"-separately! She bought it for herself while I bought it for you!"

"Liar! You're still lying! Aren't you tired of all this-"

"Here it is," JingYu had already taken out the ring box, "here is the ring I bought for you. ZhouZhou, it's for you! This was your surprise! See? See it."

He took Timmy's hand and thrust the box into the palm. The next moment the box hit his face and dropped to the floor.

He stood shell shocked.

"Take your filthy lying surprise and keep it. You disgust me."

But JingYu's eyes were on the black velvet box that rolled away from his feet to the other corner of the room.

The ring he bought for his ZhouZhou.

With an Infinity sign on it.

Some snapped within JingYu.

"Who gave you those photos?"

"Why? Worried that someone might be caring enough to show me the truth?"

"No, someone might be vindictive enough to ruin everything between us."

"Oh?" Timmy laughed mockingly, "Ruining things? Then what about your own friend? I went to your company to look for you and met your friend. Do you know what he told me? He said you were out with your girlfriend. Even he knew that. Is that why you asked me not to mark you? So that your girlfriend wouldn't get jealous? Is that it?"

JingYu wanted to raise a hell and murder everyone that was doing this to him. To them.

"You are going to believe Boris? The man that threatened me to rat me out if you even showed up in his company looking for me? The man that has been trying his best to make things hard for us. You're going to trust him?"

Timmy did not relent, "And you are saying this to me now? Now that you have been exposed? And you want me to believe you instead? Believe someone who did not care enough to tell me about this before? What makes you think that I am going to believe these stories. These are all lies!"

JingYu rubbed at his face hard, trying to skin it off completely.

"Who gave you the photos?"

"As I said-"

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU SAID I WANT TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS? WHAT BASTARD HAD BEEN SPYING ON ME?"

This was for the first time he raised his voice at ZhouZhou like that. And he thought today was going to be a good day.

Maybe from the suddenness of it Timmy finally said, or rather spat out the word, "My mother."

JingYu closed his eyes when the words sank in.

"So, this was what she meant when she told me they would not let things go so easily," he murmured more to himself than to the other person.

"What?" Came Timmy's voice.

JingYu had to take a long breath. It wouldn't do for him to start cursing a mother in front of her own son.

"When she came to see me, she told me that your father would not let things go so easily. And now I know exactly what-"

"She came to see you?"

JingYu knew that whatever his mother told him, she had omitted her incriminating part entirely.

"Yes, she did. Last month. I was training at the Dojo that time."

"And you didn't bother to tell me?"

"By her own request. She asked me not to tell you."

"Wow!" Timmy laughed and took a step back, further away from him, "Just wow! So, apparently everyone matters to you more than I do."

JingYu looked at him, finding it hard to believe that the blame was on him again!

"Is there anything else you've been sleeping on? Anything else you hid from me for keeping a request, because keeping a promise to the person you so claim to love is not your thing."

"What are you even saying? Tim- God, fucking god, I so tired of this shit- what the hell are you saying? Some photographs, some wrongly caught conversation, a lie from a bastard friend were enough to make you doubt my love? And all those months we spent together, don't they mean anything to you? Anything at all?"

For the first time this evening, an uncertainty fleeted across Timmy's face, but it was gone before giving JingYu any hope.

"It's not them JingYu. It's you that made me doubt. Your tendency to keep things from me. If you did not have anything to hide, then, why didn't you tell me everything? Why didn't you tell me about Boris? About Rebecca? About my Mum? Why only after I caught you red handed you are telling me these things? I can't trust you anymore. No, I can't. Everything was false to begin with."

"I didn't tell you because you didn't let me! Have you forgotten how badly you reacted when I tried to talk about Rebecca? And I didn't want to tell you about Boris, about your mother because it would have only made you more worried! I knew you were already in pain from how your parents treated you! Your exams are nearing. I couldn't do this to you! You are just a kid!"

JingYu knew his words had failed when a cruel, condescending smile appear on Timmy face. It morphed that angelic face into something hideous, fearsome.

"Oh, so now I am a kid?" He smirked, "Well, you don't seem to think me as a kid when you shove your cock in me and fuck me raw into that mattress!"

Even the slightest sound stopped within the room. Time stood still.

"Get out."

Two words. Said in a clipped, quiet tone. But put a final seal to everything.

JingYu's eyes were on Timmy's hands that hung beside him. He saw as they clenched and unclenched.

"I am leaving anyway. Did you think that I would stay even after this? You think very highly of yourself, Huang JingYu."

Timmy's feet moved and he collected his bags near the door. JingYu had not even noticed them before now.

"You don't deserve me, JingYu. I deserve better."

The door opened, and then slammed closed.

JingYu's eyes were still on the place Timmy stood moments before.

Maybe the floor would be still warm from his presence if JingYu touched it?

He did not.

XOXOXOX

If asked, Timmy would not be able to tell how he hailed a cab, got inside or what he told the driver. He only knew that he had to get away from here. From him. From everything. And when the car stopped in front his home, his parental house, he knew.

He knew this was the only thing left for him to do.

His father was in his studies. He flung open the door, planted his hands on his desk, looked him square in the eye and said, "Book me a flight to Heathrow."

XOXOXOX

Hours later when the Beijing city line was rapidly disappearing from his view as the flight took off, Timmy took a sudden, loud, long inhale, as if his soul was slamming back to him.

The realization that he was leaving JingYu behind hit him like a meteor.

He sat up straight from his slump and began struggling with his seatbelt.

His mother's hand stopped him.

"Mum, Mum, he's there- He's there Mum. I can't...I can't...he's there Mum..I love him, let me go...he'll be waiting for me- I didn't set his alarm last night- he'll be late for his work- he won't wake up- Mum, he's there- JingYu is there- JingYu-"

"Timmy, my dearest, it's for the best. No no, don't be like that. This is the best thing to do. Both of you will be happy this way-"

"No, no I won't- I- I have to go- JingYu- I have to go to him- I need him, Mum. He needs me-"

"No, he doesn't. You saw it all with your own eyes. Timmy, he will be happy if you let him go. Don't you want him to be happy, sweetheart? Don't you?"

"But....I- I love him...I-he- he-"

"He doesn't. It's time to let go, Timmy. Let go."

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Oh, look! The moon! *runs and hides behind the sofa* 😶😶😶

Any thoughts?😶