Yes, another update of ROOH because I'm a good panda!🐼

Okay, something happened today that left me shaken. Today, ZZ's studio released a teaser of his MV for his song Forget Me and I almost went into sensory overload watching it. The vid legit looked like something out of this story where the plot is now!

As some of you know, I plot the endings of my stories first then backtrack to the start. And where the plot is now had been created even before I started to publish this story. In the vid, we see ZZ in Westminster, London. It's a break up song where ZZ is heart broken. Okay, where is the music college where Timmy went to study music? Yes, in Westminster! Why did he go to London? Because he was heartbroken! And there are some other tidbits that looked straight outta my plot and I almost fainted!😭😭😭😭

If I die it the cause would be, 'YuZhou Fate'😭😭😭

Okay, I'll shut up now.😶😶

A new character will be introduced in this chapter. I have chosen to give this character the face and name of a real life person. The pic is included in the story and the name at the footnote.

The Royal Academy of Music is a real institution but the things depicted about it are all my imagination.

Thank you to all my lovelies who voted, commented and followed me!😘

Special thanks to-
My Sammu baby, IamSam830 for making that most adorable cover for the latest chapter of Wish Me A Starlight!😭😭 It's on IG.

And how many of you guys follow me on Instagram? Will you get a message if I post it on IG?

Chapter cover edit is done my by me.🐼

Hope you enjoy the read!

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"Bitterness is paralytic.
But Love is a much more vicious motivator." - Sherlock Holmes.

-----------------------------------

“If You miss the train I’m on
You will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow
A hundred miles...”

‘Five Hundred Miles’ by Justin Timberlake ft Carey Mulligan

***********************

Chapter-26

“You have been paired with a South Korean student from Violin Major.”

Someone said to him, probably his father, but nothing made much sense to Timmy. He sat there, slumped on that stone bench, staring ahead blankly. The fact that he was on the campus ground of the Royal Academy of Music as a newly admitted student did not change his zombie like state.

Someone tapped on his shoulder. His mother. She was saying something to him. Timmy had to concentrate extra hard to understand that she was asking him to get up. So he did.

Moving felt like trudging through a swamp. With his numbed senses, he felt as if he was underwater while everything was happening on the surface. Sounds reached to his ears as dulled, subdued.

What was happening? Why? Where was JingYu?

Oh, right. He had left JingYu, didn’t he? Now only moving forward, moving on.

Then why did he want to turn back and run? Run and run and run till he stood in front of the closed door whose key he had forgotten to leave behind.

XOXOXOX

JingYu opened sluggish eyes only to realize he was still alive, nothing changed. He had no idea for how long he was sleeping, what day it was, what time, nor did he care. With much effort, he dragged his body out of the bed. He was still fully dressed and they weighed on him like salt sacks. The long coat was taken off and thrown to somewhere as he made his way towards the toilet.

Something came under his right foot. He looked down.

A small black velvet box.

After staring at it without blinking for a few moments, he straightened his head, got inside the toilet and shut the door close with a click.

XOXOXOX

“Oh my! What a beautiful room, isn’t it, Timmy?” His mother exclaimed.

But to Timmy, it was just a room. Spacious with oak floor, stone and wooden walls, a heating system, two beds on either side and so on. He noticed that the bed beside the windows was already occupied. Did not matter, though.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Dropping his backpack to the floor, Timmy went to one of the windows. It overlooked to the hostel campus ground. A neatly kept green ground. Green like that shirt JingYu wore on that evening Timmy sang the Love Song for him.

Where was JingYu?

He turned back frantically only to find his parents arranging his things on his side of the room.

Tears flooded his vision unbidden.

He was so lost.

XOXOXOX

A ringing sound entered his consciousness and JingYu opened his eyes for the second time. His phone was ringing.

He stared at the device.

Could it be.......?

Would everything be all right now?

His hesitant hand took the phone.

A fellow instructor from his Dojo.

Dropping the phone, he turned away.

He was truly left behind, wasn’t he?

XOXOXOX

“Now that you are settled here, want to have a tour of the campus?” Timmy’s father enquired. The man was distant with him and Timmy could not care less. He did not move from the window.

“Um, okay then, no problem. You should get some rest, sweetheart. You must be jet lagged,” came his mother’s voice, said in a forced cheer.

Timmy still did not respond.

Someone came to stand beside him. His mother again.

“Isn’t it beautiful, the entire place?” Her eyes on the scenery outside, “You are going to live your dream, Timmy. Aren’t you excited?”

That question burned like acid on Timmy’s skin. He stared at the woman beside and saw her flinch minutely.

“You actually think there is something to be excited about?”

“But, honey, you have to move on-“

Timmy turned his face ahead again, “I think you should leave now.”

He heard a sigh before his mother spoke again, “We plan to stay till your birthday. And after celebrating it together, we’ll-“

“Don’t.” Timmy’s hand clenched against the window pane. He did not left JingYu only to hand over the reign of his life to his parents. The things they had done after knowing his sexual preference, the way they had abandoned him were seared in his mind. He was acutely aware of their interests behind bringing him here, in London. And he banked on that interest to get away from JingYu. Coming here was never for his dream, nor for his scheming parents. It was for JingYu.

Everything was for JingYu.

He was Timmy’s everything.

But no more.

JingYu had snatched that right away from him.

“But Timmy-“

“Just leave, mother. You have finally managed to get what you wanted. Be happy with that. Don’t push further. Leave now.

After the clicking of his mother’s shoe soles went out of his earshot, a sigh wrenched out of him. The thread that was keeping his remaining sanity, the ability to fight together seemed to break at last and he rested his forehead on the cold window glass.

“Why?”It was a sob. No accusation, no bite, just a sob full of pain. “Why? JingYu.......why? Wh-“ his voice swallowed down by the barrage of tears that started to fall as he struggled to keep himself upright by resting both of his hands against the glass.

“You said get out.....you said- you said......why? Why?”

His knees buckled under him and he fell to the hard floor.

“Why? I just- I....why? JingYu.....”

The place, time, situation everything wiped off from his conscious mind. What remained was an ocean of pain and hurt.

“JingYu.....”

Arms holding the folded legs close to his chest, Timmy buried his face in his knees.

“I wanna go home.....”

He was so tired, so very tired. He just wanted to crawl under the bed sheet, wrap himself with the warmth and smell of the person that had his soul captive and sleep. So very tired.

“JingYu.....Ji-JingYu......I wanna go home....take me home....JingYu.....”

But JingYu was eons away from him.

Beijing never felt so far away before.

This foreign land, foreign smell, foreign room, foreign faces- this was his reality now. His present.

His hand would never curl around a bigger one anymore.

Nobody would trace pattern on his skin when it rained.

There would not be a door whose keys would be in his pocket, waiting to be opened.

Because there would be no home for him anymore.

Because JingYu was not his anymore.

“Take me home......JingYu.......”

XOXOXOX

The black velvet box still lay there, like a patch of vacuum, sucking in all JingYu’s attention, anger, dejection, numbness. He could feel sense seeping into his nerve endings, urging him to do something, trying to jumpstart his heart.

There was a ring inside that box. With a symbol and some letters. The sign of a promise. The promise to love forever.

And his forever could not end within a few months.

He would not let it to be.

With a revived resolve, JingYu got up, took the box, donned on his jacket and left his apartment.

XOXOXOX

The cab dropped him in front of a house that once again reminded him the huge gap between his and ZhouZhou’s social status. His steps faltered.

A promise to forever.

Banishing the condescending image of Timmy’s mother, those last words that Timmy said to him, the incident that happened three days ago, JingYu approached the entrance of the house.

And was immediately stopped by the two security guards.

“I was looking for Zh- Timmy, Timmy Xu. This is urgent,” he explained when asked what business he had there.

“But the Young Master is not at home,” one of the guards informed him.

JingYu’s heart sank, “Oh, um, can you please tell me when will he be home? I really need to see him.”

“No, Sir, you misunderstood me. The family is not present at the moment.”

“They are out of station?” Suddenly JingYu’s head began to spin, ZhouZhou is not here? “Where have they gone to?”

“Sorry but we are not at liberty to tell you that.”

“But this is really important. It won’t be a breach on your part, I assure you,” JingYu hated to beg for anything ever but for ZhouZhou there was hardly anything he could not do.

A promise to forever.

“Sir, come back a few days after to check, that’s all I can tell you.” And saying that the guards went to their posts.

JingYu wanted to scream in frustration. It took him a gigantic effort to come this far after being held accountable for the crimes he did not do by his own boyfriend. He was already standing on the verge of losing it all. And now this? ZhouZhou was out of the city? Where was he? Where did he go? Had he even come home?

An unknown fear gripped JingYu, twisting its icy claw within his heart.

What if ZhouZhou did not even come here that night? What if something happened to him? Where was he? And JingYu had told him to get out! ZhouZhou was extremely sensitive about these things. He was a child. He would not consider the situation and probably think that JingYu meant it. Christ, no. Where was his ZhouZhou?

He frantically patted the pockets of his jeans, then jackets and realized that he had left the phone at home. Then another thought hit him. He did not even charge the device these last two days, did he? Oh god! What if ZhouZhou had called him but could not reach him? Where was he? Where was his ZhouZhou? He must find a phone booth and call him immediately. Yes, that was what he should do right away.

He crossed the street in two strides and was just about to take the turn when someone called him from behind. He looked back to see one of those security guards were running after him.

“Sir, please, wait!”

JingYu immediately walked back to the man. Maybe he had decided to tell JingYu something about ZhouZhou? Maybe he was home safe?

“What is it? Is he all right?” JingYu asked desperately.

The man looked confused then shook his head and said, “You are being requested to come inside the house.”

Hope bloomed inside JingYu’s chest. “Is it ZhouZhou?” It must be him.

“Um,” if anything, the guard looked even more confused, “It’s Lady Xu, Mr. Xu’s mother.”

JingYu halted. ZhouZhou’s nana? He frowned but followed the guard nonetheless.

He was taken to the first floor living area where stood a very homely looking old lady. She looked kind.

“You are JingYu, are you not?” She asked as soon as JingYu entered the room.

“Um, yes, I am,” he replied, still uncertain as to why ZhouZhou’s grandmother had called him here.

“I knew you would come,” and her face lit up with a warm smile, “Come, dear, sit.”

Nothing made much sense to him; What was going on? He was dying to know where his boyfriend was but there was no sign of him anywhere.

He sat down on the couch facing her chair, eyes trying to gauge out anything and everything that might tell him about Timmy.

When the old lady did not say anything right away JingYu’s impatient heart could not wait any longer and he feared that Timmy’s mother might come and send him away before he knew anything about the boy.

“Where is he? Is ZhouZhou here?”

The smile on Nana’s face turned sad, giving JingYu another panic attack.

“Has he told you anything?” She asked.

JingYu shook his head; guilt boiling inside him, “No, he- we haven’t talked in two days. Well, three if that night is counted- and there was no call or messages or-“ he stopped himself before making a scene, “Where is he? Did he come here? They said he was not at home.”

“He is in London now, dear.”

He would have felt less shocked had a thunder struck him. He stared at her dumbly.

“London?” Did he speak? He could not tell.

“Yes, he,” she hesitated, “he went there to study....in that school, that- what’s the name-“

“Royal Academy of Music,” JingYu supplied; still uncertain if he spoke them aloud or it was all happening inside his head.

“Yes yes, that...” she trailed off looking even sadder.

“He is gone?” JingYu asked again, trying to understand if there was any mistake, wanting it to be a mistake.

But she nodded, “They left the day before yesterday.”

Day before....ZhouZhou had left him while he was sleeping...

“When will he come back?” Because he will, won’t he? ZhouZhou can’t leave me like this. He won’t. He promised he won’t. No no, he can’t. He said those things out of anger. He will come back. He must be sad and went for a change and come back soon and throw a tantrum and I’ll have to apologize and everything will be okay and he will be with me and and I- and he- and ZhouZhou-

“Dear? JingYu? JingYu?”

The voice stopped him short and he looked up to see her looking back at him alarmingly. He realized that he had been speaking everything aloud. But he did not possess the mental faculty to feel any shame at the moment.

ZhouZhou was gone?

“He is gone?”

Nana did not answer which was all the answer JingYu needed.

“When will he come back?”

He should stop; he must stop making a fool of himself. But...

ZhouZhou was gone...

“Not soon, I’m afraid, dear.”

“Oh.”

And JingYu was left alone...

“Did he-“ stop it stop it stop it, “Did he say something before leaving?”

ZhouZhou had left him...

“He was very upset and everything happened so fast. There was not much said before they left.”

Because JingYu did not deserve him...

“Oh.”

Everything was lost...

“JingYu?”

Everything...

“Yes?”

A promise to forever...

“Sometimes, it is better to let go in order to let them come back,”

Ended in one single night...

“For he will find his way back home again. Our ZhouZhou will.”

A promise...

“But he already did that. He did find his way back home.”

Was meant to be broken...

“No, dear, he did not. You are his home, JingYu and he will find his way back.”

It was always about...

“I never was. I was never meant to be.”

Finding a Neverland...

Before leaving, JingYu turned back and somewhat focussed his unseeing eyes on the old lady, “Was he happy?”

Nana looked torn and eager at the same time, “No, he was not. He was away from you, how could he?”

JingYu left without another word.

He had no idea how long he had been roaming on the street or where he was. His steps hobbled, was he drunk? Was he sad?

Was he alive?

The sound of a plane made him look upward at the night sky. The twinkling lights of the flight lighting up the clouds momentarily. Was ZhouZhou in it? How far was London?

“You have finally left me,” JingYu whispered to the wind. “Are you happy? ZhouZhou?”

There was a black velvet box inside his pocket with a ring that had an Infinity sign on it.

A promise to forever ended in one single night.

XOXOXOX

“Oi, hello? Wake up! Hello?”

Someone was shaking him. Why? He was just standing in the pub looking at the bartender. White sleeves rolled up, sweat beads on the forehead, eyes sharp yet aloof and Timmy was singing....a song long forgotten....like a dream....please, let him sing....let him....dream.....those eyes....those...JingYu!”

Timmy sat up like string puppet and his vision went bleary by the sudden movement.

A dream?

He closed his eyes shut to orient himself and when opened them a face came to his line of sight.

An unknown face. Dark hair, East Asian feature, glasses and a frown.

His Korean roommate! Realization hit him and Timmy tried to bring a semblance of decency by sitting up straight.

“Why were you sleeping on the floor?” The boy was still frowning at him.

“Huh? Oh, um...” Timmy still felt dizzy and highly embarrassed.

The boy rolled his eyes, “You were homesick and cried yourself to sleep, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t,” Timmy protested, still trying save his face in front of this stranger.

“Happened to all of us,” the boy said with a shrug and when Timmy felt just a bit relieved, he added, “When we were two and had to be away from our parents.”

Seeing Timmy’s scowl, the boy broke into a huge cheeky grin and offered him his hand, “Hi, I’m Park.”

XOXOXOX

It took JingYu another five days to terminate his contract with Boris, apply for a leave to his BJJ institution, cancel the reservation of the dinner date he made for Timmy’s birthday. He did all these in a matter of fact, robotic way.

Boris seemed to be shocked and made a fuss when JingYu demanded for the termination. He asked questions after questions to which JingYu’s only answer was the flexing of his jaw muscle.

“But why, JingYu? Why are you doing this? You have such a good prospect in this industry! And the clients have started to recognize you. Why now?”

A mirthless smirk appeared of JingYu, “Shouldn’t you ask that to yourself? I thought you would have seen this coming.”

He had the satisfaction of seeing Boris’s face tighten.

“Is this about that boy? Have you gone so far that you are willing to sacrifice your career for him?”

JingYu got up, “I don’t owe you any explanation, Boris whereas you do. But I won’t ask for one because that would make you spew more lies. And as for ruining my career....” he looked squarely at this hideous creature whom he once thought of his friend, “it was always about him. It always will be.”

JingYu was at the door when he heard the other man say in a voice that meant to intimidate, “I hope you do realize that I can sue you for this. This is a breach of contract, you know?”

JingYu turned his head slightly and threw over his shoulder, “Do I look like I care?” And left.

....

He cancelled the dinner reservation with equal disinterest. His finger did not shake while calling the reception desk, voice did not break when the receptionist asked him to reconfirm his cancellation; he even smiled and said it was all right when the lady on the phone apologetically said that the refund will only be 20% as he was cancelling closer to the reservation date.

But after he ended the call, there was a throbbing pain in his throat.

He wanted this birthday to be perfect for ZhouZhou.

ZhouZhou.....At least he could keep this name with him, couldn’t he?

“I was your darkness but you will shine bright now.... Are you happy?”

His voice swirled in the emptiness of the room.

A promise to forever.....

XOXOXOX

It rained a lot in London. Much like Timmy’s heart. It rained a lot there too.

He went to classes, came back to his room, slept and watched the rain sliding down the window pane. His fingers trailed over the Victorian building walls, trying to evoke the feeling that once insisted him to dream about studying in this college.

But all he could feel was the touch of a work toughened skin, callused fingers inserting themselves within the folds of his own smaller digits.

He did not initiate any conversation, did not look except for ahead, did not live, only survived.

Westminster, where his collage was, had a chaotic beauty that was created by the fusion of the old architecture blending with the post modern changes. London was beautiful. So different than Beijing.

So very different.

It did not held the known faces. The air smelled different. The language unfamiliar.

It did not have the park where he first met JingYu.

Did not have the pub where their story started.

Did not have the food stall where they first ate.

Did not have the bridge where he hugged JingYu for the first time.

Did not have the man that once promised him to love forever....

London was beautiful but it did not have JingYu.

And it rained a lot in London.

Much like his heart.......

XOXOXOX

The ticking of the clock was in tandem with JingYu’s heartbeat.

It was ZhouZhou’s birthday today. The approaching dawn making the day more and more real......and empty.

He was standing on the bridge where all those months ago a strange boy whispered to him to let it be.

In this past week he had thought and thought and thought. It had taken him a days to finally revisit the memories of the night but he did it, for their love’s sake. And after looking at those incidents that resulted in the disaster, he had concluded one thing- if ZhouZhou was happy then JingYu would let go. If he was happy.

Therefore, JingYu needed to know that ZhouZhou was happy otherwise he would be stuck in this loop forever without moving on. He had to know.

He wanted to know.

And he wanted to hear his voice once more.

Maybe for the last time.

Just one last time.

XOXOXOX

“Timmy, can we talk for a moment?”

Lost in his head, Timmy jumped at the voice. He sometimes forgot there was someone else with him in the room, even though Park was a loud and lousy person.

“Um, yes, sure. What it it?” He asked. Not quite suspicious but not at ease either.

“No need to look so alarmed, you know?” Park stated with a genuine smile that helped Timmy to loosen up a bit.

“Okay,” he said and sat on his bed, across from other boy.

“Look, this may sound very nosy to you and yeah, to some extent I am being nosy but trust me I have my reason,” Park started raising Timmy’s hackles again, “So, what’s the deal with you?”

The question was abrupt, unexpected and vague. Timmy blinked, “Sorry?”

Park leaned forward on his seat, elbows on the knees, “It’s been almost a week you’re here and you’ve hardly ever said two complete sentences to me. I also heard that you don’t talk to any of your classmates but that’s none of my business, I know but as I said, this is me being nosy because honestly, Timmy, I don’t wanna spend the next two years roomed with a tree because that’s how you are acting now.”

Timmy’s eyebrows pulled down in a tight frown. He did not understand why his not talking was such a big deal to this boy. “You’ve been asking after me?” He accused.

“Yep, I have,” Park said without any trace of shame or guilt, as if it was all very natural and not creepy at all.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to know if it was just me you were having a problem with or you were just a common upstart arsehole.”

Timmy’ eyes went big with shock, what the fuck?! “What?!”

“Oh, look!” Park exclaimed dramatically, “You have more than two expressions! That’s nice! I always knew I bring the best in people.”

“Is this your idea of a joke? Then the arsehole is you,” Timmy spat out. Why could people not mind their own business? What the fuck?

Park gave him another cheeky smile then composed his face into a serious expression, “I really would have thought of you as a snob bastard who looked down upon the others had I not heard you cry every night after bed.”

As if being slapped, Timmy flinched away. He did not know that Park knew that. He thought he was being silent enough! But to hear it from someone, a boy of his own age, made everything more humiliating.

“After the first night I knew it was not homesickness,” the boy continued, “and when I saw you wearing that t-shirt to bed every single night everything became clear.” He paused and Timmy suspected it was more for the drama than anything else.

When Timmy did not egg him on, Park stated with a contemplative expression, “You are heartbroken, aren’t you?”

That feeling of being slapped came back by ten folds. But this time it was a slap of reality than Park’s accusation. Because he was heartbroken. His heart was broken, to a million pieces, by the person he loved the most and thought would love him back forever.

“That shirt,” Park gestured to the one Timmy was wearing currently, “It’s two size too big for you.”

Timmy clutched the apparel self consciously. Yes it was too big on him. Yes, it was worn around the edges, old and soft.

And it held JingYu’s smell.

It was JingYu’s shirt that he used to wear at night. Timmy had taken it before leaving. A piece that held something of JingYu. A memory, a smell, a whisper uttered in the night.

It was Timmy’s safe blanket.

But he never thought his roommate would discover it and interrogate him about it. He felt cornered, exposed.

“And it’s for men, that shirt.”

Timmy’s head snapped up toward the boy sitting across him, eyes going wide.

“You have been dumped by your boyfriend,” Park finished with squinting eyes.

Stomach dropping to the pits, Timmy blanched. Park had found out that he was gay, now what? Would he tell everyone? Would there be a scandal? Would they kick him out of the college? In that case, he would go back to Beijing and would get to see JingYu but he would be with Rebecca. JingYu kicked him out of his home, of his life. Where would he go? What would he do? What-“

“Hey hey hey, shit, man! Don’t faint on me!”

The voice along with the jerk to his shoulder successfully drew him out of his stupor. He looked to see Park standing in front of him, looking worried.

“You okay? What’s wrong?”

“You knew I’m gay?” Timmy did not really mean to ask it but it slipped out of him.

Another roll of eyes, “So, you were about to go into shock because of that? Are you a complete idiot? This is England, Timmy! It’s legal here! If you are to kiss a man on the street here no one would bat an eye.”

When Timmy still stared on disbelievingly, Park offered, “Wanna check if it’s true?” and winked at him.

Some of the panic left Timmy seeing that gesture but he was still tentative.

“One look at that lemon sucking face of yours and anyone can tell that you are the heartbroken Romeo,” Park mocked without any malice. Then he rested his right hand over his heart, tilted his face up slightly and yelled, “O heart, thou art wronged by the malevolence of Love!”

That brought a snort of laughter out of Timmy, even though he did not feel like laughing. It was just that this boy reminded him of Pip a little.

Park sat beside him on the bed, face going serious again. Unlike Pip, Park’s serious face was really....serious. It demanded attention.

“I know I am overstepping a lot of lines here and am in fear of being punched by you any time but Timmy let’s not forget that it’s a privilege to study in this Academy. There is a shitload of people out there who can only dream of studying here and I bet many of them are way more talented and deserving than we are. So, if you really love music, take it seriously. I know you won’t spill the bean just now but I will get it out of you sooner or later. But let me advise you one thing, love does not beg, nor does it let you down. Humans do. So, if you are enraged with love, turn in into your music. If your heart is broken, make shards of music that will cut through flesh. Make your love immortal with your music,” Park paused to take a breath and Timmy sat quiet, too stunned to even move a muscle.

“Remember that your love story ends only when you want it to end.”

Patting his back with two thumps, Park got up and went to his bed and turned off the lights. Timmy sat there like a sculpture, caught in the whirlwind of emotions that had begun with those words.

He was not aware how long he had been sitting there like that in the dark but his trance like state broke with the sound of the vibration. His phone moved against the wooden desk. Staring at it for a while, he stretched his hand to take it.

And his heart stopped immediately.

JingYu was calling.

[][][][]

'Love Song' is a Adele song.

Now you know who is the new character.😁 Yes, that's Park Bo Gum, an excellent actor and a baby bean!😘No, I do not ship Park Bo Gum with ZZ. I just think he fits the role perfectly.

Any thoughts?