Ta da!!! Update again! I'm a good panda! Pat me🐼 *potato dance* 💃💃

Guys, I'll ask you to listen to 'Say Something' by A Great Big World while reading this chapter. Because it will help you to understand this more. I didn't include the media here because it stops working after a while. So, please, listen to the song and read it.

This song is also one of the two songs that inspired me to write this story. So, yes, we are nearing the end. *gross sobbing* 😭

The next chapter will be a long one, or so I guess. Therefore, the update will take some time.

The above👆 cover is made by me.😚

My potato love to IamSam830 for making such a beautiful cover for ch-26. It's on Instagram, guys! Her id is- @mrandmrhuang !😉

Panda hugsies to those who left comments and votes and followed me.😚😚

Also, have you guys seen ZZ's 'Forget Me' mv? Too much ROOH for me!😭 BTW, it has been released officially on YouTube. Go and increase the views!

No more rant.

This chapter has 3rd person narrative.

Enjoy the read. And please make sure you listen to the song while reading.🙏

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"Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought." - P. B. Shelley

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Chapter-27

Shutting the toilet door close- the only place where he would find a semblance of privacy- Timmy’s thumb shook tapping on the green icon.

A static quietness greeted him as he pressed the device against his ear and stayed that way for a long moment. He could hear the other person breathing.

“.....................Hello?”

Say something, I’m giving up on you

“.............................Hello.”

I’ll be the one if you want me to

His morning used to start with that voice. Night ended with that voice whispering soft things to him.

Tears filled Timmy’s eyes.

Anywhere I would have followed you

Eyes on the rising Sun, JingYu tried to calm down his erratic heart that beat into his ears. His entire existence was tuned to that voice. He would have gone to any length if that voice had asked him to do something.

Say something I’m giving up on you

They listened to each other’s breaths. Slow and soft and distant. Both eager for more. None taking the first step.

JingYu broke first.

“...........ZhouZhou?”

And I.....am feeling so small

Timmy pressed his palm tight over his mouth. Pain rising, thrashing, threatening to break free from him in loud cries.

JingYu.....JingYu....JingYu...

He wanted to run to the arms that used to protect him from everything, to bury his paining self in that warm chest that was his home.

Take me home. Take me home. Take me home.

JingYu.......

Take me home.

It was over my head

There was nothing. JingYu tried so hard to listen to even a sliver of a sound but nothing came. The name that was his praying mantra went unanswered.

He wanted to break free, to tear down this hateful wall between them.

Why did this happen?

Why didn’t we happen?

Why did you leave me?

Why it pains so much?

I know nothing at all

Timmy opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t. An ocean of pain was drowning him, taking him into the deep where he could not answer back to that voice. He tried to swallow down but pain entered his lungs, squeezing out the last ounce of power. The salt from the tears ripped and flayed the walls of his soul.

Was I wrong?

Were you right?

Did we make a mistake?

Can’t we start again?

Please say that we can start again.

Please tell me that I still have you.

And I....will stumble and fall

“...........Yes?”

JingYu had to grip the railings of the bridge hard. The blunt iron making an indent on his palm. What would he say? What should he say? What he wanted might not be what ZhouZhou needed. Should he......could he.....

Come back to me.

Please...

Say you didn’t mean those words.

Please...

If you want to stay there I can move there. I can find a job. I’ll do better. I’ll work harder.

Please, say that I deserve you.

Please...

I’m still learning to love

Why isn’t he talking? Talk to me, please. JingYu? Talk to me. Say that those were all false. Say that you didn’t cheat. You didn’t lie. You didn’t want to leave me.

Tell me that I wasn’t a burden.

Tell me that I can come back.

I’ll do better. I’ll work. I’ll make you proud.

I’ll love you more.

Just tell me...

That you are still mine...

Just starting to crawl

“.............JingYu?”

Say something I’m giving up on you

So long....it had been so long he had heard his name called with such anticipation...

Or was he projecting his hope again?

Was ZhouZhou really interested in him anymore?

When they were together, he couldn’t realize ZhouZhou was suffering so much; such a strong storm was brewing inside him. What if he was wrong again?

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

“How are you?”

Are you all right?

Eating properly?

Is it cold there?

Who wraps your blanket in the middle of the night when you throw them away in your sleep?

Who feeds you when you make a fuss?

Who cooks pancakes for you?

On whose shoulder you lean onto when you are tired and sleepy?

Who brushes your hair off your forehead?

Who hugs you to sleep?

Can you sleep alone?

Because I can’t...

And I don’t want to...

Anywhere I would have followed you

“...........’M all right.”

His voice sounded slurred due to the choked up throat.

Do you even need to ask?

You used to know me better than me.

It’s so cold here. I’m so cold.

No one takes care of me here.

No one asks if I have eaten.

No one scolds me.

No one puts me on the kitchen counter.

No one calls me ZhouZhou.

No one loves me here, JingYu....

Say something I’m giving up on you

“You?”

Are you still working so hard?

Still skipping meals?

Does she take care of you now?

Does she set your alarm?

Makes you late for work?

Hugs you from behind and doesn’t let go?

Waits for you in front of the Dojo?

Watches you sleep sometimes?

Does she make you proud like I used to do?

And I...will swallow my pride

JingYu did not answer that. Because he never lied to ZhouZhou. And telling the truth would not matter anymore. Would only make him look more pathetic.

I am happy that you are all right but I am not.

How can you be all right?

Don’t you miss me?

Don’t you search for me in your sleep? Because I do.

Don’t you buy foods for two by mistake because you still think there is someone waiting for you at home? Because I do.

Don’t you talk to the mirrors and pretend it’s me talking back? Because I do.

Doesn’t your hand try to hold another hand only to be curled around empty air? Because mine does.

“Happy Birthday, ZhouZhou.”

You are the one that I love

The receding waves came back like a tempest.

Timmy’s eyes stilled, then widened. His face gradually crumbled up as he bit down on his fist hard from wailing out loud.

JingYu....

His voice knocked on the four walls of his heart.

JingYu....I....

There were so many things he wanted to say, so many things that needed to be said but...

Home was so far away now.

Take me home...

“..................Thank you.”

And I’m saying goodbye

It was not Sun but the pyre of JingYu’s hope and love and life. The toxic smoke filled his insides and drew the life out of him little by little by little.

A ‘thank you’?

I would have given up everything for you.

And you gave up on me.

Say something I’m giving up on you

No words, only the sound of their hearts floated back and forth between the distance.

I’ll be the one if you want me to

“Are you happy?”

The last thread that kept his soul anchored, the last hope.....the last connection with ZhouZhou.

JingYu held his breath.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

If you still can’t not tell then it must be because you don’t want to know.

And what’s there to know?

If you know I am dying here it will only make you feel guilty and I’ll be another charity for you.

But JingYu.......I am not happy.

I am never happy.

I’m gulping tears.

And dying.

And I wanted to live with you.

I want to live with you, JingYu.

But...

“Yes, I am.”

And anywhere I would have followed you

The thread broke.

The beads of memories turned to ashes.

And dispersed into the wind.

Leaving behind a void.

An echo of the past...

A story written on the seashore.

Only to be wiped clean by the waves...

Say something I’m giving up on you

Say it’s not true.

Say that you can’t live without me.

Say you need me.

Say that I deserve you.

Say that we are not over.

Say something...

Say something I’m giving up on you

Say something.

Say that you don’t believe me.

Say that you want me to come home.

Say that you are coming to take me away.

Say that I was wrong.

Say that it is only me that you love.

Say that the key I have in my pocket will still open the door.

Say that I will see you after I open my eyes in the morning.

Say something I’m giving up on you

I’m giving up on our love....say something....ZhouZhou...

Say something, JingYu....I don’t want to let go....but I am giving up on us....

Say something-

“Be happy...”

The end tone followed by the static silence

I’m giving up on you

Unable to stay upright, JingYu slowly sat on the cold hard concrete surface. Back to the railings, away from the Sun. His face tilted upwards. Blue sky in striking contrast with his clouded existence.

“I let it be and you let me go...Goodbye, ZhouZhou.”

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Things will look up soon, like really soon.😶 *climbs up a tree*

So, umm....any thoughts other than beating me to a pulp?😶