Yoohoo! Another update!😁 But honestly, this story is writing itself.

And I NEED you guys to tell me how is it going.

Those who commented/voted: Tonight you'll find me standing on your rooftop holding a banner that says- "YOU ARE THE BEST"😘

To the silent readers: I love you guys too...silently...ssshhhhhhh😉

The song I'm dedicating to this chapter is my ultimate Johnlock song💗 But it's apt for this chapter!💗💗

Hope you enjoy the read!

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"So here we are 
Trying to talk some sense into our hearts 
This can't be love 
We're best of friends, and that should be enough 
But If that's true 
Tell me why I'm holding on to you 
Like I'd never let you go..."

- 'What If I Kissed You Now' by Darin

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Chapter-8

JingYu felt rather than heard Timmy come and stand behind him. Suddenly unsure of the talk he meant to have, he didn’t turn. On one hand he needed to talk to Timmy but at the same time he didn’t want to. The reason for his reluctance made him blush. This….thing between them, this strange camaraderie- he did not want to lose it. Sure he had his fair share of friendship, relationship but not once in his life had he met someone who would invest so much of their time, their effort just to make him happy in their own weird way. And he wanted it more than he should have any reason to. JingYu did not understand what pulled him towards Timmy but it was there and it was growing stronger every day.

A little cough from behind. JingYu moved his head slightly sideways.

“Is it okay with you if we go over there to talk?”

A shrug, which he knew was as close as a consent he’d get, hence he began to walk towards the bridge. It was a relatively quiet place overlooking the canal. After taking a few steps he realized that no one was following him. This time he turned back fully to Timmy and saw him standing at the same spot, a heavy frown settled upon his downcast eyes.

“Timmy?”

Their eyes locked.

“Please.”

JingYu waited till Timmy was beside him.

There was a chill in the air tonight. The light breeze felt like a soothing balm on JingYu’s skin; he loosened his collar a bit. Timmy was leaning on the railings, facing away from him. JingYu stared at the back of his head, then, down his lean frame.

What is it about you that fascinates me so much? I like every little thing about you. I like how you try to act cool but break into giggles in minutes; I like how you forget everything when you sing; how you skip steps when talking about something interesting; how you bite your nails absent mindedly; how you pout when you can’t have your way; how you fall asleep sitting beside me on the train and your soft breaths come out in puffs. I like it when you wait for me outside the store. I like when you pull faces behind my back thinking I can’t see you. I like your endless whining, your madness, your nagging, your irrationality. I like it when your eyes light up when you look at me. I like it and I know that I should not. I should not indulge myself in you. I should not be feeling the things I feel for you. You are so young and innocent. So unblemished.  I should not forget who I am and who you are. But I can’t help it. It is like an addiction. I don’t even know exactly when and how my frowns changed into smiles while looking at you, Timmy. It hurts me to see you hurt and I want to know why. But moreover I want to know why are you always there for me? What did I do to ensure it? I can’t figure it out and I need to know.

Inhaling long and deep he let it out slowly, preparing for the talk.

“Timmy?”

A minute jerky movement told him that his voice had startled the boy but no response came.

“Won’t it be better if you look at me while I’m talking to you?”

Timmy’s head snapped towards him, face displaying thousand emotions. Anger being a dominant one.

“What?” The boy snapped.

“I want to ask you something and I expect an honest answer from you.”

“If you are so ready to believe that I will lie if you don’t request honesty then why ask?” Timmy spat out the words and turned away again.

Shit, I’m bollixing things up before it even began. “Timmy? Timmy, look at me.” Jingyu touched the boy’s upper arm to get his attention which he got, “Listen to me. I am not angry that you came to the Dojo or enrolled yourself to the programme. I was surprised, yes, but I am not angry with you, all right? I know you think I am and that somehow has upset you but….no need to lash out to keep your ego in tact.”

“Fuck you.”

The curse was uttered quietly, through clenched teeth but the intensity blistered JingYu’s skin. And it hurt suddenly. So much.

Timmy had covered his face with his hands now, elbows on the rails. His ears looked painfully red.  JingYu stretched his arm to touch the boy but thought better of it and withdrew.

“What’s going on, Timmy?” He asked after a long moment had passed.
Timmy didn’t react in any way. JingYu decided to continue.

“And I don’t mean today. This past month, the things you do for me….the- the following-“

Timmy looked at him sharply.

“What? You didn’t think I’d notice?” JingYu chuckled, desperately trying to lighten the mood. “I’m pretty sure you know where I live, too.”

“If you are worrying about me turning up there also, you don’t need to because I won’t,” Came a terse reply.

“So, you do know where I live?”

Timmy averted his face. JingYu controlled his urge to ruffle the boy’s hair. Time to get serious now.

“Now, can you tell me why do you do all these?”

Silence.

JingYu sighed…he was so stubborn at times… “Timmy…”

“Because I want, all right?” The boy whirled at him and looked squarely with a pissed off expression. “I want to, I wanted to. Why, is that a crime too? Am I gonna be interrogated for what I want or not? But I don’t see why! No one has any right to interfere with what I do!”

“Yes they have if your doings involve or affect them in any way,” JingYu stated but before Timmy could protest, he quickly added, “But I am neither interrogating not interfering. I just want to know the reason. It was not like we have had met before the pub….” Something occurred to him that made him pause, “Have we?”

Timmy stared at the water, spreading in front of them as far as eyes could see. JingYu’s heart skipped a beat, because that silence meant….

“We have met before?!” But how was that possible? He wasn’t someone to forget faces that easily. “What? When did we meet? Timmy?”

But all the boy did was taking out a cigarette pack and putting one stick in between his lips. Something short circuited inside JingYu’s brain. Just as Timmy was about to light the cig, JingYu snatched it from his lips and threw it away.

“WhAT THE HELL?!”

“Do. Not. Smoke. In front of me.” He chewed out every word.

“Why the fuck not?” Timmy seethed, angry blotches of red painting his face.

“Because I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU SMOKE!” The booming voice rang into the quietness.

But Timmy wasn’t someone to bow down; he bit back with as much spite, “And why do I care what you like or not?”

There was a throbbing sound behind JingYu’s ears. He needed to calm down. This was not the way this conversation should go. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to clear away the irrational angst that was creeping into him.

“Listen…..I’m sorry…but I really-“

“Is it because what happened today? When- when we were practicing? Is that what this is all about?”

“What?” Jing’s hands fell from his face in surprise. Partly because of the question, partly for the bitterness in Timmy’s voice. It took him a moment to realize what the boy was referring to and when he finally did his cheek felt warm despite the current distress.

“No, no, I- absolutely not! That was…that was purely a physiological reaction, Timmy! God, are you still thinking about it? It all right; it happens. It’s not uncommon…”
Timmy gazed into the darkness, looking lost.

“You didn’t.” He said after a while.

Timmy had gone back to answering his previous question about the meeting, JingYu realized. And the exclusion of first person pronoun did not skip his attention either. If anything it set his curiosity ablaze.

“But- there is something, though, isn’t there? Why do I feel like you are hiding something? I always felt you looked sort of familiar from the first. Look, I promise I won’t-“

“Does it bother you?”

That question asked in a tired voice stopped him short. He still wasn’t looking at JingYu and sounded like he wasn’t even listening to him.

“What?”

“…………………..Me trying to look after you…..trying to get your attention?”

Everything went blank. As if someone had just taken his soul out of his body then slammed it in again. JingYu’s brain went fuzzy for a moment before resettling.

Looking after…….getting my attention….?

“Does my being near bother you, JingYu?”

Timmy was looking at him with an inexplicably sad expression. His eyes looked dull, lips turned down.

JingYu swallowed hard at the pain that suddenly surged through him at the sight, at the words. He shook his head, trying to convey all the things he wanted to say to break Timmy’s doubt but couldn’t.

Timmy took a step forward.

“Then please do not ask.”
Another step.

“Do not want to know why I do the things I do for you.”

The distance in between were mere inches now.

“I promise I will tell you all in the right time.”

Licking his dry lips, JingYu saw how Timmy’s eyes traced the movement.
“Please don’t ask now.”

He was still staring at his lips when JingYu whispered an “Okay.” Because that was all his brain could think up, his body would let him utter.

Those hypnotizing doe eyes slowly came up and locked with his. Every muscle, every tissue of his body felt numb. The scene unfolding before him felt surreal, as if he was witnessing this from an astral plane. He held his breath.

Timmy’s right hand slowly rose and he placed it on JingYu’s left cheek. The skins barely made contact, a feather touch.

“You are cold.” Timmy’s whisper ghosted over JingYu’s lips, his chin. He could have tasted it if he licked his lips.

“Yes…” The breath escaped JingYu in the form of an answer.

When Timmy leaned in slightly JingYu let his eyes fall shut. Those were the only parts of his body that were still working. He wasn’t sure what was happening or if it was even real but he found out that he had no ability to stop it.

Two arms enveloped him, pressing him to a smaller, lithe body.

“Let it be.”

Words spoken into his ear. A shiver ran through his body.

As if in a trance, his own arms rose and held the boy.

“Okay.” He whispered back.

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