5. A Taste of the Old Life

Tanya's fever goes right down once she got some Tylenol in her system. It's a pretty tense wait between my brother and I until Nora shows up at her house. Castiel could sense the tension but didn't seem brave enough to make it go away.

Nora doesn't give us a second glance, she goes right up to her house to meet Castiel—well, "Steve" as she knows him—and talk. I watch those two while my brother is on the phone. I do my best to not eavesdrop on his conversation. Whatever he's talking about, it's probably something I don't want to get involved in.

"Oh, yeah, and you'll never guess who I ran into," I hear my brother say. I'm leaning against the hood of my truck. A few minutes before Nora got home, my brother and I went back to our respective cars. I observed that he still had my former home. The former home is a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. She looks almost as new as the day she rolled off the lot. I miss that old car. It brings back childhood memories. Notice I don't say "good" memories. "Trust me, you'll never guess it. Here." I see a phone shoved towards my face. I look at my brother questioningly. "Prove me right."

Still giving him an odd look, I take the phone from him. "Okay, who are you and how stupid are you to have taken a bet against my brother?"

At first, I think it's a prank, because I hear nothing on the other end of the line. But then I hear it. It's practically a ghost of a whisper: "Josette?"

I nearly drop the phone. I feel my heart clench. Castiel has left Nora's front porch and he and my brother are talking now near the Impala.

"Hello?"

I swallow. "S-Sammy?"

"Is it—is it you? Like, really you?"

I fight back the tears. "Yeah, it's really me."

"Where have you been?"

"Away." I sniff, wiping under my nose.

"This is...this is crazy."

"Why?"

"It just is. I mean, you went off the grid..."

"I know. I am sorry about that, Sammy." I start walking. "I'm sorry."

"I'm just glad to hear your voice. We've missed you."

I snort. "Yeah, I can't say that that's true about Dean."

"Deep down, he does miss you."

I quirk my lips. "Sure, I'll take your word for it."

"What have you been doing all this time?"

"You know what." I'm shaking slightly. "You've known since the night I left."

"But what about now? I mean, Dean was explaining what happened..."

"I know what you want, Sam. You want the three of us to be back in this, together. But that's not what I want. It's never been what I wanted. I'm gonna stay here in Rexford and continue my plain life."

"Jo—"

"Don't beg, Sam. I made this choice a long time ago, and it's stuck. This was just a fluke. I'm sorry, but I'm not going back. You're more than welcome to come find me and visit. Just try not to bring your work with you if you ever decide to come, okay?"

There's temporary silence on the other end. "No promises, but I can try."

"It's good to hear from you, baby brother." I smile. I see Dean and Castiel looking at me. "I've got to go."

"Wait, Jo, how am I gonna know where to find you?"

"You're a hunter, you'll figure it out." I end the call, because I don't think Dean and Sam had anymore to discuss. I walk to the boys and hand my brother back his phone. "So, now what?"

"That depends on you," Castiel tells me.

"How so?"

"Cas can't come back with me," Dean tells me.

"Why not?" I have my hands on my hips.

"He can't."

"That's not a valid reason."

"I can find someplace else," Castiel cuts in, looking at me with apologetic eyes. "I understand if you don't want me around anymore after what I've brought you into. I can always have Dean drop me off at the Gas-N-Sip. I can stay there."

I purse my lips. I don't want Castiel to resort to living at the store he works at. But I don't want him back with me either, because of what just happened tonight. "You don't need to do that."

"You'd be willing to keep him?" asks Dean.

I sigh. "I know I might regret it one day, but he's been with me since the night I found him. He's grown a little on me. Besides, I'd feel like a shitty person if I dumped him at the Gas-N-Sip."

"Then you're in charge of keeping watch over him."

I roll my eyes. "Okay, chief. Whatever you say." I nod towards Castiel. "Wait in the truck." Castiel obeys and head for the truck, I remain outside with Dean. "I heard a lot of talk about angels and Heaven when Ephraim was still breathing."

"Cas is human now, lost his angel mojo. He's as human as you and me."

"That's concerning. I always thought he was a lunatic with some of the stuff that came out of his mouth." I look back to see Castiel in the passenger seat of my truck. "But now it makes a little more sense."

"Watch over him, okay?"

"That's the whole point of me taking him in."

"I mean it, Josette. He's in a rough spot right now."

"Dean, I said I'll take care of him."

"I know we're not on the best terms, but I can safely say I don't trust anyone except you to be with him."

I nod. "That's big of you to say that. Doesn't mean I forgive you."

"You helping Cas doesn't make me forgive you either."

"I hope this is as much as I get involved with the old life, housing your former angel." I start walking to the truck.

"Josette."

I stop. "Yeah, Dean?"

"Take care."

You should've said that the night I left. But you didn't. I know it's not the right place or time to bring up scabbed wounds, so I just give him a thumbs up as I head for my truck. Castiel watches me as I climb into the driver's seat.

"Thank you, for doing this," he says.

"Like I said, I'd feel bad if I threw you out." I start the engine. I watch as Dean turns on the Impala and tears off down the road. "Come on, let's go home."

* * *

I feel changed, coming back to the place. With a former angel in tow, I feel like my world has shifted a little towards my old days. My old life. The life I know better than to get tempted by again.

Castiel and I go our separate ways, me for my bathroom, and him in the living room. I dowse water on my face. It was nice to hear from Sam, but it was awful seeing Dean. I do miss them both, though. It's just a shame our lives are so messed up. I've got the most normal life out of the three of us. Well, mostly normal, now that I'm housing a former angel in my place.

I push back the nasty thoughts that try to guilt trip me. I know why I left, my brothers know why too. My dad knows why.

I never thought to bring up Dad to Dean. He didn't mention him either. What was going on there? Dad was never really the best father to the three of us. I wonder if there was a falling out between my brothers and our dad. It could have easily, as Sam was more like me and Dean was always Daddy's little soldier. I still think of him like that even now. He's taken up the mantel as a hunter, just as Dad wanted him to, wanted for Sam and me to as well.

Dad probably thought I failed him as a daughter. Well, wait, he did tell me that the night that I left. And Dean sided with him like the obedient dog he was. Sam had been the only one who had really sort of had my back that night. I'm sure my advice wasn't taken to heart. He probably didn't get out. He probably never got his chance like I did. And now, here he is, still battling the supernatural with Dean.

I put on baggy clothes as pajamas and lumber back out into the living room. Castiel has changed too, and he has the TV as background noise as he stares at it mindlessly. I plop beside him.

"I think it's time you owed me that explanation, Castiel," I say softly.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, what the hell I'm dealing with first."

"As Dean told you—"

"Yeah, I get that you're human. You seem like you're having a hard time with it."

"When you go from a celestial being to human, it changes your perspective."

"Welcome to the real world, Castiel. How'd you end up like this?"

"Metatron."

"A Transformer turned you human?"

"What? No, I said Metatron. Sam made the same assumption when he first heard the name."

"Who's this Metatron dude, then?"

"The Scribe of God. An angel. He wrote tablets that can close the gates of Hell and Heaven."

"What's this got to do with you losing your angel juice?"

"Metatron manipulated me into thinking I was doing something good, but instead I helped him close Heaven."

I wrinkle my nose. "What a douchebag."

"The last thing that was needed to close Heaven was Grace, so he took mine. That's how I'm as human as you are."

I shake my head. "Ultra douchebag. Heaven doesn't sound like Cloud Nine."

"Humans have a very wrong perception of what Heaven really is."

"Apparently." I shift. "So, where's Metatron now?"

"In the wind."

I nod.

"Dean told me to take it easy since I'm human now. But there's chaos with Heaven and the angels that I want to help stop."

"He's probably saying it so you don't get into trouble." I shrug. "Dean may be a Rottweiler on the outside, but he's soft once you get through all the layers of him."

"Listen, Josette, I'll try to keep you away from this as much as possible."

"That's the first time I've ever heard that." I chuckle lowly. "All I ever heard was the opposite."

"You're out of being a hunter for a reason, and I'll try my hardest to respect that."

I side-glance at him. "Thank you, Castiel."

"Now, explain to me why you used a fake name."

I roll my eyes. "New life, new start."

"So that meant cutting yourself off from your family?"

"Castiel, until you walk a mile in my shoes, you can never understand why I did what I did." I ruffle my blonde locks.

We lapse into silence, with both of us staring mindlessly at the TV.

**The one thing I will say about Josette is that she has a good heart. I mean, why else would she have taken Cas in?

Don't worry, she'll be getting into a lot more trouble fairly soon.**