Reviewed by: ChristineAcedon

Book Title: The Long Wait

Author's Name: shytabby

Cover: 10/10

The way that you make the woman on your cover just transparent enough to make out the flowers in the background is done well. It all pulls together nicely and the title is perfectly and clearly placed.

Title: 10/10

Given the premise of your story, I believe that the title fits it perfectly. With this and the summary, it sets the tone for everything very well.

Blurb/Description: 10/10

I love your blurb. Without giving away all of the first book, it manages to give us little details that are pertinent to this one. You introduce your characters, the dilemma, and the setting. You also make sure to notify to your readers that this is a sequel so that they have the opportunity to go back and read that first.

Creativity and originality: 10/10

The premise of this story is definitely creative and even though there is a book before this, depending how you go about writing it, it could have the ability to be a standalone (obviously, reading them together would still be ideal).

Plot and Flow: 15/20

I'll start off by saying that I did not read the first book in this series, so it's possible that I'm just missing something because of that, but it seems that Adam and Ben are used almost interchangeably and from the first chapter, it yanks me out of the story as I'm scrambling to try to understand who we're talking about.

The first chapter seems a bit rushed, like you're just excited to jump back into the story between Ben and Shelley and I would like to see it slowed down just a bit more. Overall, your plot is intriguing and I found myself wanting to continue as I tried to untangle the web.

Character Development: 16/20

As I mentioned, I feel like the reunion of Ben and Shelley may have been better suited after a bit more time to get to see the characters separately. Again, this could just be because I don't have the benefit of having read the first part of their story, but taking the time to see them in their separate lives could be beneficial in establishing a connection with each of them individually as a reader.

In your blurb, you mention that it could be a 'standalone' but that it would be better read together. That is a great concept, but already from the first few chapters, your readers find themselves almost heavily relying on previous knowledge of the characters. It's like walking into the theater forty-five minutes into the movie. You have a thousand questions and even though you may be drawn in to the plot and the action, you have no idea what's going on.

Writing style: 9/10

Ben's perspective being labeled as "Adam POV" is a bit jarring. Is that his last name? I would just be careful with these transitions and make it clear how Adam and Ben are connected. Otherwise, I like your style and I think you portray the feelings of your characters very well.

Grammar, spellings, etc.: 6/10

I would highly recommend going back through to check grammar and dialogue throughout. I noticed a pattern of two characters speaking in the same paragraph and even some instances where what was said is not within quotation marks, making it a bit difficult to identify who is speaking or what is being said versus what is being thought.

Overall: 86/100

I think that your story has strong potential, and I'm sure that reading this after reading the first story in the series could clear up some of the confusion. I think that the first thing you need to do (if you haven't already done so) is decide if this story really is a standalone from its predecessor. If it is, then the characters need to be able to stand on their own. They need a whole new introduction and you need to think of the previous book as their backstory. Information you have as the author, but that the readers only have as it is introduced. We may not always get the full backstory, but parts of it are revealed as we go along.

If you decide that it should not be a standalone, make that very clear in the description and I would even suggest somehow indicating it on your cover and/or title. Ie.) 'Second Book of the *** Series' or 'Sequel to ***' I really enjoyed getting a glimpse into the lives of your characters and being able to immerse myself into the world you've created. I apologize for the delay in your review and I look forward to seeing more of your work!

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