From my bedroom, I could hear Jeremy lifting weights and groan loudly. Elena fumbled around with bags, the sound of balloons bumping into each other. Caroline was on the phone with her mom, asking questions that she already knew the answer to, but she just needed to hear her mother's voice. Stefan was walking around downstairs, the sound of liquids in a bottle matching his footsteps.

   They were all smiling and laughing, moving around since early in the morning. I, on the other hand, sat on my bed and stared out the open window. My hands were folded on my lap, thumbs playing with each other. The breeze was gentle, the curtains moving smoothly with it as if they were dancing together. Sunlight came through perfectly, casting shadows against things and making it appear as if the room was painted a brighter colour than it actually was. There was something peaceful about getting lost in the dust that danced under the sunlight.

   It was February 5th, a day I had spent alone since 1864. I hated February 5th. 

   There were three knocks on the door, and then a breath following after. "Hey, can you come downstairs and help me decorate?" Elena asked, a soft smile on her lips. "Jeremy was on decoration duty, but he's just lifting weights. Apparently, he can't be bothered to stop and help."

   I stared at her for several seconds, allowing her words to actually sink in. It wasn't that I didn't listen, but the words came in slowly when I was half tired. I stood and nodded. "Yeah, okay." I followed her out my room, downstairs, and to the kitchen. "What's the, uh... What's the occasion?"

   "It's Bonnie's birthday!" Elena sported a big grin on her face, a hint of excitement in her eyes. There was also sadness. I knew that it was because Bonnie was still in the prison world, alone. "She would have wanted us to celebrate it with smiles: eat her favourite foods, watch her favourite movies, all while wearing matching pyjamas."

   "What she would have wanted," I repeated. I didn't know Bonnie that well, but from what I knew about her, she preferred to spend more time with her friends than with random strangers. Her friends were her family, and they meant a lot to her. Instead of focusing on the sad aspects, I walked over towards the few cupcakes on a stand and picked up one from the bottom. "Do you think Caroline would mind if I took one?" I stared at the cupcake for several seconds, then put it back. "You know, nevermind."

   "Is there something wrong with it?" Elena asked, taking a stand next to me. She stared down at the cupcake, then turned to me.

   "No, it's just that I..." I stopped mid-sentence and forced a smile on my lips. "I don't like vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting."

   "Clara is more of a lemon cake kind of girl," Damon said as he walked in. He stood on the other side of the counter, hands on top of it as he glanced from the brunette to me. "Lemon blueberry, if I remember right."

   I nodded, a smile forcing itself on my lips as I remembered the memory. "My mom used to make the best lemon blueberry cake! The cake was perfect and lemony with a few blueberries in it, and then the frosting had lemon zest and three blueberries on top." I forced myself to stop talking once I realised I had rambled on. A soft, breathy laugh left my lips as I apologised.

   "Hello?" The voice was familiar and loud, one that we didn't want to hear.

   I leaned my head back and squinted my eyes a bit, as if that would allow me to hear better. "Was that..."

   Elena shook her head. "That's impossible because why would he..."

   Damon shut his eyes and pressed his lips into a straight line. "He didn't. He's all merged, he's packed, and on his way to Portland!" His voice rose as the words left his mouth, a yell on the last word.

   "Forgot how massive this house way," I heard Kai breathed. He walked in with a big smile on his lips. "Yum, cupcakes!" He stopped and glanced at all of us. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?"

   "What are you doing here?" Damon asked, annoyance in his voice.

   "Funniest thing. I need your help." Kai pulled out a letter from his pocket, Josette written on the front in neat cursive. 

   "Why would we give a letter to Jo?" Elena crossed her arms and leaned against the counter, glaring at the witch.

   Kai grabbed one of the cupcakes and took a seat on the table, his feet on the bench. "I haven't been able to find her using a locator spell, and, you know, good on her because under normal circumstances, I'd be supperjazzed to gouge out her bellybutton." He passed his finger through the frosting and put it to his mouth, giving a small and content moan.

   "Why would we help you, Kai?" I asked, tilting my head to the side and letting it rest on my shoulder.

   "Well, in case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a sociopath," he stated in a nonchalant matter. "I know—shocker! I like being a sociopath. You know, I'm not burdened by things like guilt or love. So then this merge happened with my brother, Luke, and I won, which was great because I absorbed his ability to do magic, but now I can't stop thinking about how Luke died, how Liv's life is ruined. For some horrible reason, I can't shake how bad I feel about it." He sighed with frustration.

   "You feel bad?"

   "Yes. So, when I absorbed Luke's magic, I must have gotten some of his qualities or something, like empathy," he continued. "So I googled how to process emotional pain, and they said if you write everything down in a letter and burn it, you'll be healed. So I started writing, and this water literally started pooling in my eyes." He motioned to his eyes with his hands. "Has that ever happened to you? Like water just—just oozing out of my eyeball like I'm some alien creature excreting fluids."

   I nodded slowly, amused at how he referred to it. "You mean you cried." It wasn't a question, but a fact.

   "Yes!" he nodded. "And after that was done, I burned the letter, and the feelings—oop—still there. So I really feel strongly that Jo needs to know how sorry I am for destroying our family, but let's face it, guys, all right? I mean, Elena, you of all people should be willing to look past the questionable things that I've done to see that there's--there's good somewhere in me. You did it with Damon."

   "Oh-kay." Damon stepped up and grabbed her by the arm. "I think we're done here."

   "Actually." Elena raised her hand and pulled it away from Damon, her eyes focused on the witch. "What is there's something he can do for us in exchange?" Her lips were pressed together in a small smile, an idea obviously running through her head. "I need you to bring Bonnie back."

   Kai shrugged his shoulders. "I can't," he said.

   Elena pushed herself away from the counter and nodded. "I think you can," she said with a smile. She walked towards the living room, to one of the drawers, and pulled out a circular thing that had many gears. "This will help you." She handed it to Kai.

   The witch stared at it with disgust, his fingers running through each gear as if he were examining it throughout. "Sad attempt at iron welding," he mused.

   "I tried to fix it," Elena said with a shrug of her shoulders.

   Several gears fell to the ground as Kai continued to run his fingers through it. A laugh escaped his mouth. "I can't bring Bonnie back with this."

   "I thought you were the all-powerful leader of the Gemini coven," I said, sarcasm laced in my tone. My arms were crossed as I leaned against the wall, tiredness running through my system. 

   "I destroyed this so that it couldn't be used again," Kai explained, raising the broken gears for all of us to see. "And I did a pretty good job at destroying it."

   "Well, can we use that hunk of junk to send a message at least?" Damon asked. He stood besides me, his shoulder lightly touching mine. "It is her birthday."

   Kai's eyes softened, his mouth slightly open. "It is?"

   "Yeah," Damon nodded. "It's really sad. I mean, old Bon-Bon —she's gonna be all dressed up for a party no one's gonna show up to. I mean, I wonder if she even knows that it is her birthday, or do all days just blend into one vast sea of misery?" He pressed his lips together and shrugged. "I wonder."

   Kai stared at the broken Ascendant. "One of the crown wheels survived. That's a positive." He looked up, a barely-there smirk on his lips. "Plus, I am mega-powerful." He must have realised what Damon was doing, because he shook his head and frowned. "What do you want to say?"

   "Well, I mean, if Bonnie needs magic to get out, we just need to tell her where to find some," he explained, smiling softly. 

   I pushed myself from the wall and nodded. "So, where can she get the magic from, then?" I glanced from him to Elena, ignoring as Kai stared at the pieces of the Ascendant with a magnifying glass. "From what you two told me, Dr. Laughlin stored hers in a hunting knife. Bonnie sent hers over with that teddy bear, Miss Cuddles."

   "What receptacle of magic are we not thinking of?" Elena asked as she paced around the room.

   "Here's a hint: scorned lover." Damon wiggled his brows just once as he served himself alcohol, his expression amused but annoyed.

   "Katherine," Elena and I said in unison. There was disgust there, since both of us had an unfavourable opinion about her.

   "Older."

   "Silas," I quickly said, glancing from Elena to Damon.

   Damon shook his head. "Hotter."

   "I don't know," I hummed, shrugging my shoulders. "Silas was definitely hot."

   He looked at me with a bit of disgust. "No."

   "Qetsiyah!" Elena reckoned. "Her blood is on Silas' headstone. It's filled with magic."

   "Yep!" Damon nodded. "So in Bonnieland, that means that an island off Nova Scotia is a big magical battery waiting to be tapped. We just need to remind Bonnie of that." He paced towards us with the bottle of alcohol, the liquid inside swishing loudly. 

   "And what reminded you of that?" Elena questioned. Her brows were furrowed and her arms were crossed, her whole being full of curiosity.

   Damon glanced at me, then quickly back to her. "I was gonna plan a trip there," he quickly said. "Change of scenery, you know. There's only so much you can take of Mystic Falls on repeat."

   Kai let out a relieved sigh. "Oh, thank God! You two together is still totally revolting to me." He straightened his posture and grinned widely. "Finally, a familiar feeling. Luke didn't take over me completely."

   "Sadly," I mumbled as I grabbed the bottle of alcohol from Damon's hand. I took a quick swig, letting the alcohol burn the back of my throat and my stomach. 

   "What the hell is he doing here?" Jeremy's voice rang around the room, his footsteps heavy as he moved closer to Kai. 

   "He's going to help us send a message to Bonnie." Elena shrugged her shoulders, her hand slapping against her thighs. 

   Jeremy scoffed. "People don't just change like that."

   "People normally don't merge with their siblings either," I said, handing the bottle back to Damon. Once again, I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms.

   "Uh, for the record, I would have been fine with any of Luke's qualities," Kai broke in, "you know, the hair, the whole gay thing... You know, maybe not the height, actually."

   "You seriously buy this?" Jeremy asked Elena. He stood stiff, his fingers opening and closing to his side. 

   "Look, I'm not saying that we have to like him, but if there's a way for us to tell Bonnie how she can get out..."

   Jeremy interrupted. "We should trust a guy that changed personalities overnight?"

   "He's the only option we have right now," I said as I grabbed the bottle of alcohol from Damon. We had been switching it back and forth, each taking a long drink before handing it back to the other. "If there was another way, we would have taken it already."

   Kai looked up from the Ascendant. "Think of it like Elena in reverse." He turned and poured himself alcohol. "You know, she was human, pure, dating the good Salvatore. Then she became an undead blood vacuum, stopped caring about right and wrong, and started dating the bad Salvatore."

   "That's not how it happened," Elena said as she crossed her arms. She closed one of her hands under her arm, her knuckles turning white.

   I let out a hum and tilted my head to the side, slightly pursing my lips. "Well..."

   "I'm sure I must have missed a detail or two," Kai smiled, "but I'm just paraphrasing what Damon told me in the prison world."

   "Speaking of," Damon quickly said. He brushed by me, his shoulder hitting mine. "There's a witch over there we'd like to save, so why don't you get your Gemini jumper cables and fix that thing?"

   Kai raised his hands in self-defence and nodded. "Okay."

   Instead of waiting around like everyone else was doing, I walked back to my room. Caroline and I visited Liz as much as we could, which meant from early morning to late at night. She was better than before, but the cancer was still eating at her slowly. Liz didn't notice it, but Caroline and I did. I noticed how Liz's skin was getting tighter and paler, how her eyes were sunk, how her smiles were not as big. The cancer was physically and emotionally killing her.

   It was tiring knowing that there was nothing I could do to stop her from dying, to stop her from suffering.

   "Clara." 

   I turned my head to see Damon standing a few feet away from me. His eyes were squinted, an eyebrow raised, his lips slightly open. He was curious.

   "What?"

   He closed the distance between us and stood a few inches away, our chests almost touching. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You've been out of it since last night. Is it because of Stefan? Are you two finally together?"

   I shook my head. "No, we're not together, because I can't really forgive him, Damon. He left for four months, and he ignored me for all of those months. If it wasn't for Caroline insisting that we go to him, for Enzo killing that girl, he wouldn't be here." I licked the corner of my lip and took a deep breath. There was no point in telling him why I felt so down, so I forced a big smile on my lips. "I think that's why I'm down, because I have conflicting feelings about him. Don't worry. I'm fine."

   The eldest Salvatore stared down at me with a curious expression, something he had been doing ever since he got back from the prison world. He would stare for long moments of time, and when I would ask him about it, he would shrug his shoulders and walk away. I didn't bother pushing about it because I knew he wouldn't give me an answer.

   Although Stefan claimed that he didn't want to spend another minute without me, we had been growing apart. There was a distance between us that made my chest ache, that made me feel both angry and sad. I knew that I loved him, that I had loved him for a long time now. Could feelings change? Because I didn't want them to; I wanted to continue to love Stefan for as long as I could. I was holding on to that.

   We went back to the living room, where Kai was beginning to explain how he would send us to the prison world. According to him, we wouldn't be there physically. We would be there like ghosts, where she would or wouldn't be able to see us.

   As he did the spell, a strong wind passed around us. I opened my eyes to realise that the room had changed drastically. The living room still held a fire, but there was more light. The curtains were wide open, a table and chairs set up as if they were getting ready for a party. Bonnie Bennett walked in and took a seat at that table, a video recorder in her hand.

    She couldn't hear or see us, which mean that Kai's spell didn't work entirely.

   When the tape stopped, Bonnie laid down the video recorder and opened a bottle of bourbon. She served herself a glass, a bittersweet smile on her lips. 

   "No," Damon quickly said.

   I turned to him with a confused expression. "What?"

   "The bottle of bourbon is the oldest one in this house," he explained, stepping closer to Bonnie. "We made a pact that if we couldn't take being trapped in here all alone, we'd kill that entire bottle." He swallowed. "Then we'd kill ourselves."

   A gasp left my breath as I sat up. It took me seconds to realise that we were back in the real world. I turned to Kai with wide eyes. "What happened?" I asked. "Why are we back here?"

   "I don't know," he said, staring at his finger. "Spell must require too much magic. I lost my connection."

   "Then reconnect," hissed Damon. 

   "It's not that easy." Kai stood and pointed at his nose. "You see this blood? I'm guessing that's not a good sign."

   "Bonnie is going to kill herself!" Elena reminded him, her voice shaking.

   "Can she do that?" Jeremy quickly asked. "Can she die in the prison world?"

   "I couldn't," Kai said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Of course, it was my own personal solitary confinement. Didn't want me to end my sentence early by killing myself. Ooh, I tried every method in the book. I drove down to D.C. because there was this museum that has an actual guillotine."

    "We get it," Jeremy snapped. "For whoever's not lucky enough to be you, dead means dead."

   "We have to stop her," Elena said, shaking her head. "We have to give her hope, send her a message somehow."

   "How?" I glanced around the room, at everyone, until my eyes landed on Kai. "She couldn't hear us."

   "The message is already in the atlas," Damon said. "I scribbled some notes in Nova Scotia. We just have to get her to see it."

   I let my hands fall to my side. "Okay, but how to we open an atlas when we can't touch anything?"

   Damon began to amble towards the witch. "We need to get Kai to crank up his witchy-woo, don't we, so we can make physical contact."

   Kai was siting on the couch, a sarcastic smile on his lips as dry blood decorated his nose. "All while sending the four of you back over there? Sure! Yeah! Hey, why don't I reanimate your dead parents so we can have a tea party while I'm at it?" The smile faded from his lips as his eyes cast down to his hands. "Sorry. Insensitive."

   "What if you just send me back?" Jeremy walked closer to the witch as he stood tall, unafraid. 

   "No!" Elena quickly said, shaking her head. 

   "That might work," Kai nodded. "Focus all of my magic on one person. It might be enough of a boost that you could physically interact, if I can hold the spell."

   "And if you cannot?"

   "The magic overwhelms me, and I can't pull Jeremy out. He'll be stuck over there for eternity."

   Elena walked over to her brother and laid her hand on his arm. "Jer..."

   "Don't," he said, pushing her hand away. "Don't say anything. If I can get through to her, we save Bonnie's life. If not... At least I'll be with her when she dies." He moved towards the couch and laid down, making himself comfortable and closing his eyes. 

   Kai took several deep breaths before he began to chant the spell. A few seconds in and he began to furiously sweat. Droplets fell from the tip of his nose to his hands. His brows would furrow for seconds, then they would go back to their normal state. As he chanted, his voice quivered. Part of me felt sorry for him, but the other part of me thought that he deserved it for the prick that he was. 

   Behind me, Elena and Damon were quietly talking about the death pact he made with Bonnie. According to him, it was his idea. He thought of it after watching The Bodyguard, and he never thought she'd actually go through with it. A sigh escaped his lips and he walked away, the fall of his feet heavy on my ears. 

   I turned my head to see him go upstairs, his lips set into a straight line. A sigh escaped my lips as I grabbed Elena's arm and pulled her with me to follow him. It surprised me that she stayed behind, paying more attention to her brother than the man she claimed to love so much.

   Damon was in his bedroom, the same bottle Bonnie had in his hands. "Our suicide bourbon. Bonnie and I made a pact we'd drink this together," he softly said, as if he were recalling. "That's what I'm gonna do." He took a sip. 

   I grabbed the bottle from him and took a sip myself, making a face as it went down my throat. It tasted different than the bourbon I was used to, a stronger aftertaste that almost made me want to vomit. "To Bonnie," I said, my voice hoarse from the drink.

   Elena grabbed it and took a sip. "To you, Bonnie," she softly said, the sadness in her voice audible. She coughed and made a face, holding the bottle tightly. "So, is Kai right about me?" she suddenly asked. "By turning into a vampire, I completely changed?"

   "Kai's a psychopath," Damon said as he grabbed the bottle. "Don't let him get into your head."

   "I'm not," Elena sighed, "but do you ever think about it, like, if I would still be with you if I were human?"

   "And this is where I leave," I breathed as I turned around. When I tried to get out of Damon's room, I was blocked by an invisible door. I knew enough about witches to know that it was a boundary spell. A groan escaped my lips as I hit the invisible wall with my hand.

   "Okay," Damon breathed. "We're doing this."

   "It's just a question, Damon."

   "No."

   "No, what?"

   "No. I don't think we'd still be together if you were still human. You had a choice. You chose Stefan. Human you was on your way home to him. Car went off the bridge, you turned, and suddenly I was back in the picture."

   "Okay, I know you guys are having an important conversation, but we're trapped in here." I turned to look at the pair with wide eyes. 

   Damon walked up to the entry and hit the invisible wall with his hand. "What is happening?"

   "What do you think?" I gave him a tight-lipped smile, sarcasm radiating. "We know enough about witches to know what's happening."

   Elena stood quiet for a few seconds, her hand by her ear. "Liv is trying to kill Kai," she announced. 

   "She couldn't have picked another time to kill him?" I groaned and stepped back, trying to hear the fight. Liv was the only person I could hear, her angry shouts echoing around the house. I stopped moving when a familiar scent appeared. The sweet scent that drove the majority of those that lived in this house crazy. I sniffed and turned to Elena and Damon. "Do you smell that?" My mouth began to salivate.

   "Blood," Elena gasped, her eyes widening. "I-it could be Jeremy's!"

   Damon marched towards the fireplace and began to kick it, rubble falling down. When a hole opened, he marched towards the table to grab the old bottle of bourbon. "I said I was saving this for something special." He threw the bottle down the hole, causing a fire to explode. We all heard Liv shout, and then silence. 

   Elena let out a breath of relief and walked over towards the door, revealing that the boundary spell was broken. She ran downstairs.

   I turned to Damon at that moment. "I'm sorry to overhear," I said, "but why would you tell Elena that after trying to win her over again?"

   "Because it's the truth," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. "We all know that, so she should know it too."

   "Are you sure?" My voice was soft, almost breaking, as if I didn't want Elena to hear. "Do you really believe that?"

   He finished the bourbon that was on his glass and set it down on the table, letting out a hum. "I believe that Elena's feelings changed because she's a vampire," he said as he slowly walked closer to me. "If she weren't, she and Stefan would still be together." He pursed his lips and nodded, leaning slightly to one side. "I think that would have saved you and I a lot of heartbreak." He walked past me, his shoulder brushing against mine.

   It wasn't the same harsh touch that happened in the living room when Kai explained the nature of their relationship. No, this time, it was softer. As if he just wanted to brush past me as a sign of caring. 

   I let out a breath and followed after him. 

   We rushed to the kitchen to find Jeremy and Kai. The Gilbert boy was leaning against a bench, eyes closed as if he were asleep. Kai was against the island, blood decorating his shirt and his skin pale. Elena ran to her brother while Damon and I went to the witch. 

   Damon slapped his cheek with force. "Kai, hey!"

   "He's dying," I said as I knelt to his other side. I bit my wrist and put it to his mouth, letting him drink my blood.

   Kai's eyes open wide, his heart accelerating. I pulled my wrist from his mouth and stared at him with confusion. There was fright in his eyes, something that Damon and Elena said was impossible for him. The difference between the one they told me about and the Kai that was in front of me was grand.

   "Bonnie," Elena uttered, "is she..."

   "I saw her," Jeremy confirmed. I turned to him to see a smile form on his lips. "She's gonna be okay."

   After a moment of happiness, I went to the living room to see the mess that was created by the witch wanting to kill her murderous brother. There was glass everywhere, the decorations and cake destroyed. Liv was in the corner of the room, covered in blood and unconscious. I stared at her body for several moments, the blood calling to me. If I could, I wanted to, I could have gone towards her and sunk my teeth into her neck—I could have drunk her dry.

   Elena appeared, a small smile on her lips. "I got this," she said, raising a dustpan. "You, Clara, need a drink."

   "I think I drank enough while trying to help Damon not drink all," I mumbled, pressing my fingers to my temple.

   "Are you okay?" she suddenly asked, staring at me with curiosity.

   I waved a hand and nodded. "I'm fine," I said. "I just haven't slept well, that's all. I'll see you tomorrow." I went upstairs without turning to look back at her, my insides churning. 

   I walked in to my bedroom with a sigh of relief escaping my mouth, my eyes shut and my head back to the door. It was comfort, something that would allow me to forget about his day that I dreaded so much. When I opened my eyes, I jumped. Damon was leaning against the piano, his fingers tapping against the smooth and glossy surface. 

   "What are you doing here?" I moved towards him, pushing my hands into my pocket.

   "Has Stefan come to you?" he asked, arching a brow.

   I shook my head. "He's been with Caroline," I said. "They're good friends, and she needs one right now."

   Damon let out a hum. "So, he hasn't come to you?"

   "Again, no," I repeated. "Why are you asking me this?"

   He pushed himself from the piano and looked down at me, his head tilted to the side. "Because it's weird that he hasn't wished you a happy birthday."

   I sucked in a breath and shook my head. "So?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked everywhere but him. "It's not special."

   "It's your birthday, Clara."

   "It's not special," I repeated as I brushed past him. I took a seat on my bed and stared at the floor, wanting to avoid his eyes. "I don't care that it's my birthday, Damon. What I care about is knowing that Bonnie is fine and that she'll be able to return."

   A scoff escaped his lips as he took a seat besides me, his shoulder pressed against mine. "You're a terrible liar," he said with a small chuckle. "You used to love your birthday. Every year, your dad would get you a new dress, and your mother would bake you a cake, and I would give you flowers. For your nineteenth birthday, I got you those gold earring that looked like small doorknobs."

   A genuine laugh escaped my mouth as I recalled the memory. "They were horrible, but I still wore them," I told him.

   "I would have gotten you that gold and garnet necklace, but it was a bit too expensive," he recalled with a soft laugh. He bumped my shoulder with his, making me sway my upper body and have a natural smile appear on my lips. "There's that smile."

   I looked to the other side of the room and took a deep breath, waiting for the smile to disappear. "Can I go to bed now?" I asked. "The faster I go to sleep, the faster this day ends."

   Damon stood and stepped in front of me. "You're so stubborn," he breathed. "Come on, make a wish."

   "Damon, what..." I stared at his hand, my eyes wide. There was a cupcake in his hand, bits of blue between the cake. The frosting was a soft yellow, and there were three blueberries on top. It reminded me of the cake my mother used to bake for each of my birthdays. From the cake, I looked up at him. "Why?"

   He shrugged his shoulders. "It's your birthday," he said. "Did you think I would have forgotten that?"

   Yes, I wanted to say. Stefan did, so why not him?

   Damon's lips pressed against my forehead. "Happy birthday, Clara," he softly said. He stepped away and left the cupcake on top of the piano, then walked out of the bedroom. I stared after him, with my thoughts rambled together and my chest aching.