No humanity meant that I cared about absolutely nothing, no one, and fed on how many people I wanted without caring for the consequences. It was a terrible calmness, like the peace that surged through the body right before one drowned.  At the same time, I felt the most hungry I had ever been.

   As I sunk my teeth on another walking meal, I remembered a time in which I was terrified to even take a small whiff of blood. The blood flowed freely into my mouth and down my throat, as if I were drinking another glass of whiskey, or bourbon. The man in my arms whimpered from the pain and tried to push me away, but I continued to keep my hold and sink my teeth in deeper, breaking more skin.

   I pulled away from the man and made him look into my eyes by holding his chin between my fingers. A small blood-filled grin appeared on my lips. "You were in a fight, you lost, and now you're going to pass out in the restroom." He repeated the words back to me in a monotone voice. I pushed him away and took a deep breath as I closed my eyes, the scent of so much blood filling my nostrils. When I opened my eyes, I began to move between the warm, dancing bodies. 

   It was a warehouse party off campus, that we had learned about while at the bar after turning off our humanity. As soon as the words party left the boy's mouth, I had turned to Caroline and told her that we would be attending, because it would be fun and it was a place where I could feed without a bother. There was a lot of alcohol, which meant that the people around me were too intoxicated to feel me biting into their neck or care about a girl walking around with blood on her chin. They were drunk, they were having fun, and that was all they cared about.

   I closed my eyes and began to sway to the loud techno music that overtook my senses. Not even a second later, an arm went around my waist and the owner pulled me to his chest. He moved against me, lips close to my ear and his other arm on the other side of my waist. I began to dance with him, moving my hips and swaying my head to the sides. It was as if the music, alcohol, and blood had taken control of me. A psychedelic trance to the wobbling music that made everyone else move in almost a sync.

   When I opened my eyes, I saw Stefan standing right across from me. He was to the other side of the room, a girl trying her mouth off besides him. His eyes stayed on me, his brows furrowed and his lips set into a frown. A small smirk formed on my lips and I winked. He swallowed hard and began to march towards me, his hands almost closed into fists to his side. I laughed and turned, wrapping my arms around the man I was dancing with. Not even a second later, the man was pulled away from me.

   "What the hell, man?" he yelled, glaring at the vampire.

   Stefan grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and compelled him, "Go home."

   I rolled my eyes, then let out a small chuckle. "Come to have a little fun, Stefan?"

   He turned to me and arched a brow, laying his hands on his waist. "I came here to look for you," he said, then after a few moments of silence added, "and Caroline." A smile began to form around his lips. "But, I found you first, so I decided 'why not?' I should have a bit of fun, right?"

   "Saint Stefan actually wants to have fun?" I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Well isn't that a sight to see. Dance with me, then." My eyes moved from his to behind him, where I saw Elena Gilbert looking around. I chuckled and ran my fingers through his hair as I tilted my head to the side, glancing back at him. "Are you really here to have fun or are you here to babysit Caroline and I?"

   "I'm not here to babysit you," he said, but I saw him swallow. 

   "You are," I nodded. "Why else would boring Elena Gilbert be at a party?" A bit further from Elena stood a familiar face. I hummed and nodded. "Ooh, is that Bonnie Bennett? Wasn't she stuck in 1994 or something like that?"

   Stefan laid his hands on my cheek, making me looking into his eyes. "I'm here because we need to talk about us," he said as he let his hands fall.

   I laughed and shook my head. "No, you're here because you're worried that I already killed," I said. "I haven't. Not yet, at least." A grin formed around my lips.

   "Clara, this isn't you—"

   "Actually, this is me," I interrupted, pointing at myself with my hands. "This is what I look like when I'm not feeling sorry for myself or caring. Surprising, isn't it? It's like the old me, but with a lot less care and a lot more blood." 

   "This isn't you," he repeated. His thumb began to rub up and down on my cheek. "I know that because I know you, Clara. When you turn on your humanity, it will hurt and you will want to die, but I'll be there. I will always be there." He laid his other hand on the corner between my neck and cheek, cold fingers pressing on my skin. "Please, come back to me."

   Nothing. That was what I felt—nothing, but I wanted to make him have a little hope.

   I opened my mouth and shook my head, feigning an emotion. I leaned in, my lips brushing against his, and then I laughed, "No." I pulled away as one of my hands went to his cheek. "You may be Caroline's trigger, but you aren't mine, Stefan." I smiled and patted his cheek, then pulled away. "But, I do love seeing you try. It was hot seeing you all emotional over me." I winked and turned, meandering away from him.

   The warehouse was covered with people dancing from wall to wall. It seemed as if there was no room for any one else, but it was easy to move through the crowd when you were a woman with a low-cut shirt. I grabbed someone's passing drink, immediately downing it and letting the glass fall on the floor. The music seemed to get louder, bodies seemed to press harder against each other, which meant harder against me.

   I grabbed the boy the danced closest to me, turned him around, and let a smirk form on my lips. The music, the blood, and the alcohol took control of me once again, and I began to dance. The nothingness that overtook me was pleasant, as if I was in the middle of a vast ocean and the waves were perfectly still. And I didn't worry about anything. I danced and bit into their necks, then made them forget who I was and what had happened to them. It was a thought out plan, but with little thought.

   The difference between Caroline and I was that she had control of her vampire side while I indulged in it. She didn't kill people, but fed on them and then gave them her blood to cover her tracks. She stocked the fridge in her dorm room with blood bags, which I made fun of. I fed, and fed, until they were either dead or too weak to stand. Instead of giving them my blood, I compelled some story about how they got the marks on whichever part of their body I bit into.

   The man who danced with me decided to grind against me, his hands roaming up my waist. I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a nice smile as I stared into his eyes. "Don't scream," I breathed. My teeth sank into his neck immediately, the taste of blood flowing down my throat. The man dug his nails into my waist as I continued to drink, as if he were trying to push me away but couldn't. When his grip loosened, I pulled away and licked my lips. He fell limp on my feet, a bit of blood decorating from where I bit. I huffed and lightly kicked him. "Come on, I didn't bite that hard."

   Caroline appeared in front of me, her arms crossed as a wicked smile was spread on her lips. "We're going to have a little fun," she said, motioning me to follow her with her head.

   I shrugged my shoulders and followed behind her, out of the warehouse. "Aren't we already?" I asked, arching a brow. "I mean, I am. I don't know about you.

   "I told Elena that if anyone tried to get my humanity back, I would become their worst nightmare," she explained as she leaned against a car. "Stefan tried to get it back, so now I want to get him back."

   I sat besides her and leaned back against my hands. "Ooh, that must have been bad for you," I teased, a small smirk forming on my lips. "Did he finally figure out that he's your trigger? Funny, right? He's my boyfriend, or ex—I'm not really sure—but he's your emotional trigger." If I had my humanity, my emotions, I would have been jealous. Instead, I felt nothing.

   A pair of headlights made me turn my head. The car parked and out came Enzo, slamming his door shut before walking towards us. 

   I pushed away from the car and ambled towards him, licking my lips. "Hey, handsome," I hummed, eyeing his chest. When I stood in front of him I began to play with the opening of his jacket, slowly allowing my eyes to go up to his face.

   Enzo arched a brow. "Gorgeous," he greeted, slowly, as if he were trying to figure out something. A second later, he sighed. "You also turned off your humanity, of course. If one Forbes goes, the other one follows. You two are just like the Salvatore's, if not less annoying but more attractive."

   "I'm more fun like this." I slowly licked my top lip and brushed my fingers down his chest, wrapping a finger around a belt loop and pulling him closer. "I could show you."

   "Tempting," he chuckled as he tilted his head to the side. The smile faded and he took a step back. "But, no. The morality I have left is telling me that it would be wrong, no matter how much I want to see what you're hiding underneath that leather jacket, sweetheart."

   I let out a small chuckle and bit the inner side of my bottom lip. "Tell that morality of yours to shut up and I could show you what's under my shirt."

   "Where's your date?" Caroline asked, taking a stand next to me. "What, you don't want to show her off in front of Stefan?"

   "Afraid she doesn't find me nearly as fascinating as I do," Enzo answered.

   "But, you have an accent," I said with a flirtatious smile. "Anything you say is automatically fascinating."

   "I'm afraid we found the exception," he said, slightly amused. "Told her I was a vampire, and her eyes glazed over... Literally. Pure and utter disinterest."

   Caroline laughed. "Stefan's been looking out for Sarah ever since she was a baby, which means he will protect her at any cost."

   "Okay?"

   "So, what do you do when you want someone to have nothing to do with vampires?"

   Enzo smiled in realisation. "Compel them not to care about anything to do with vampires," he said. "Caroline Forbes, you're a genius."

   It took me a second to remember that Sarah Salvatore was the daughter of a Salvatore descendant that was probably killed by Damon. She was the photographer from Duke University that Stefan had cared for since she was born. It was at that moment where realised that Caroline wanted to harm her because Stefan tried to get her humanity back.

   I smiled and wrapped my arms around Enzo and pulled him closer to me. "Enough about Caroline," I softly said. "Why don't you and I go somewhere to have some fun?" I let my hands brush up to his jacket and slowly down to his waist.

   Enzo pulled away, a look of disappointment falling on his features. "Sorry, gorgeous. It's not as much fun when you're not really you." He walked past me, his shoulder slightly hitting mine.

   I chuckled and turned, waiting for him to walk inside the party. A smirk formed around my lips as I turned to Caroline, and slowly lifted his cell phone. "You wanted this, right?" I threw it to her and pushed my hands into the pockets of my jacket. "I do want to see what you have planned for Stefan."

   She scrolled through the phone with a smile, then began to type a message. "I'm going to have a bit of fun with Sarah Salvatore," she said in a sing-song voice. "Come on, we're going to the Scull Bar."

   Scull Bar was the bar at Whitemore College. It was always full with hungry people during the day and drunken people during the night. It was closed, so I broke the lock and walked in while whistling. I jumped over the bar and went towards the alcohol, immediately serving myself a glass of whiskey on the rocks. Caroline sat on top of the bar, legs crossed, an amused look on her face. She was scrolling through Enzo's phone, then she smiled and pressed it to her hear. 

   "What, you really think I want to hear from you right now?" Stefan answered.

   "Aw, is someone having a bad night?" Caroline cooed, a smirk forming around her lips.

   "What are you doing with Enzo's phone?"

   "I stole it," she nonchalantly said, "but that's not the question that you should be asking right now. You should be asking, 'why does Enzo have Sarah Salvatore's number in his phone?' Or maybe, 'where's Sarah Salvatore?' And ultimately, 'What the hell are you going to do to her Caroline?'"

   The door to the bar opened. A girl walked in, looking around in confusion. "Hello?" she called out. "Enzo?" The girl had long black hair, a light brown complexion, and big brown eyes full of wonder.

   "Over here, love," Caroline said in a fake English accent.

   "Oh, um, I'm actually looking for—"

   "Enzo," I interrupted. "Yeah, we heard you. He's not here right now, but we are." A small smirk formed around my lips as I took a sip of whiskey. 

   "Caroline, what the hell are you doing with Sarah?"

   "There!" she smiled. "An appropriate question. Thank you for asking. As a matter of fact, I'm going to kill her." She ended the call and dropped the phone onto the bar. A few seconds of dramatic pause passed. Caroline jumped down from the bar and walked towards Sarah, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Go to Whitmore Hospital. There, you're going to find Liam Davis, and you're going to let him strap you into a table. You're going to help him help him with his surgical skills." She stepped back and ambled towards the bar, humming happily. "I'm going to make margaritas, want one?"

   I took a seat on the bar and leaned back, staring at the ceiling with a bleak expression. Nothing. It was pure bliss to know and feel nothing. My mouth tasted of blood and my thoughts were quiet, the two things that used to be contradicting now pushed together into pure euphoria. Then, I was hungry for blood. 

   "Hey!" Caroline suddenly greeted. "I'm making margaritas. You want one?"

   I let my head fall to see Elena and Stefan walking in, the pair sporting similar looks of frustrations. A small quirked smile formed on my lips. "Look who decided to join the party!" I said, a chuckle escaping afterwards.

   "Where's Sarah?" Elena asked with worry laced in her tone.

   Caroline stopped for a moment. "I see Stefan filled you in on his big secret," she said as she grabbed a glass.

   "Where is she?" Stefan slowly stepped forward, as if he were closing in on an animal.

   "Obviously not here," I answered.

   "That would be stupid," Caroline added, prepping the glasses with salt. "She's with Liam. Say hi!"

   "Hello?" Liam's shaky voice came through the speaker of the phone. There was panic laced there, worry.

   "Sarah is helping Liam with his surgical skills," Caroline smiled.

   "And he's a pre-med sophomore," I added, pointing at the phone with amusement. "He's bound to be absolutely terrible."

   "Please! Please don't hurt me!" Sarah Salvatore begged.

   "I don't want to do this!" Liam cried with fright. 

   "Duh!" Caroline quipped, "You're probably gonna get expelled, and then found guilty of murder. That's why I compelled you to do what I wanted."

   Stefan stepped forward slowly, his eyes trained on the blonde besides me. "Caroline, I'm sorry," he softly said. "I shouldn't have pushed you."

   "Obviously. I was pretty clear about that."

   I eyed her for a moment, hearing a bit of emotion in her voice. 

   "Look," Elena joined in, "I know that you can't feel it right now, Care, but if you kill Sarah, it's gonna haunt you forever. Trust me—I did it and it sucks." Her eyes fell on me, as if she were pleading for me to stop her.

   I pushed myself forward and jumped down from the counter, laughing. "She compelled a student to perform surgery on Stefan's niece, and you found a way to make this about yourself," I mused, shaking my head as I grabbed the margarita Caroline was offering to me. "Wow, Elena, you have truly have a talent."

   Stefan stepped forward and spread his arms. "What do you two want me to do?" he asked, glancing from me to Caroline. "You want me to leave town, I'll leave town. I'll stay as far away from you as possible. Just please let her go."

   "That's the problem, Stefan," she addressed. "It doesn't really matter how far away you are. You're still you—kind and loyal, who, with one look, can convince me that I'm not crazy. That's the Stefan that I fell for, and that's the Stefan who can bring me back."

   I snapped my fingers as I took a sip of the margarita. "There was something in me that said you two had a thing." I pointed between the two of them as I circled around the bar, shaking my head. A small and amused laugh escaped my lips as I grabbed the bottle of whiskey, opened it, and poured some in the margarita. "Who am I to stand in the way of love, right?"

   "What are you talking about, Clara?" Elena questioned.

   I slowly looked up from the margarita, my eyes falling on Stefan. "Let's change you," I said, slowly ambling towards where Caroline stood. My heels hitting the hardwood floor was the only thing that could be heard. "If Stefan wants to save Sarah's life, all he has to do is turn off his humanity."

   "What?" Elena gasped.

   Caroline laughed. "Ooh, I like this idea!"

   I raised my brows as Stefan and Elena stared at me with horror. "Why are you two staring at me like that?" I chuckled. "Do I need to repeat myself?"

   "He is not turning his humanity off!" Elena yelled.

   "Elena, Stefan unleashed himself from you years ago," Caroline said. "I think he can think for himself now."

   "It's not gonna happen," Stefan said, his voice breaking at the end.

   A small smirk fell on my lips. I grabbed Enzo's phone from the counter and stared at Stefan with amusement. "Hey, Liam?" Sarah screamed and pleaded, causing me to roll my eyes. "Caroline wants you to cut off her spleen."

   "What?"

   "Cut off her spleen," Caroline repeated, her shoulder close to mine. 

   "Caroline!" Elena gasped, appalled. "Clara!"

   "Relax!" chuckled Caroline. "She can live without her spleen. You know, it's the infection you should be worried about."

   Sarah begged for her life, and then she screamed. Her screams were loud, full of fear. It sounded like music to me, pleasurable that I simply just smiled as Stefan and Elena stared in horror. 

   "Hey, Liam," Stefan suddenly said, "remember that conversation we had earlier about being honest? Where are you?"

   Caroline grabbed the phone from  my hand. "Don't answer him, Liam."

   "Whitmore Medical."

   Stefan turned to Elena. "Go! Get Sarah out of there!"

   Elena sped away, Caroline sarcastically telling her good luck. I pursed my lips, staring at Stefan with nothing running through my. He was still attractive, with his soft hair and his green eyes and the soft stubble on his chin. My eyes fell to his chest, a hum of approval leaving my lips. 

   I grabbed the phone from Caroline. "How's it going, Liam?"

   "I think I'm gonna go into paediatrics!" he yelled with horror.

   I hummed as a response and nodded. "I think I changed my mind, too," I teasingly said, glancing from the phone to Stefan. "Leave the spleen. How about we be a little more symbolic, huh?" I smirked. "Take out her heart." The phone slowly fell from my hand and onto the counter, the echo of the hit being the only sound on the bar.

   Stefan growled and sped towards me. 

   Before he could touch me, my hand went around his throat. My fingers squeezed, the sound of his chokes making me let out a sigh and shake my head. "I drank from half of the people at that party," I reminded him. "Did you honestly think you could fight me?" With a flick of my wrist, I threw him over the bar and towards the tables. I glanced over at Caroline. "I don't hear any screaming."

   Caroline grabbed the phone from the counter. "Liam, are you still with me?" she asked. "She stopped screaming, is she—"

   "I think she passed out."

   "Kill her," she said, impatience clear in her voice. "Call me when it's done."

   I circled around the bar, whistling an off tune while I went to the broken pieces of the table and grabbed one of the legs. The wood felt cold on my hand, deadly. I continued to whistle as I strutted towards where Stefan tried to get up.

   "Do you know how easy my life would have been if I turned off my humanity one of the many times you broke my heart?" I asked, twirling the leg between my fingers. "Maybe we wouldn't be in this predicament."

   "Clara," he breathed, "this isn't you."

   I stopped twirling the piece of wood and tilted my head to the side as my brows raised. "Maybe you're right," I breathed, slowly closing the distance between us. When I stood in front of him, I pushed the piece of wood into his stomach. "But, you're not, because this is not the me that fell for you, or the me that you fell for. This is what I look like when I'm not feeling sorry for myself, when I don't care about your feelings or about anyone else." I pulled the wood out and stabbed him again, letting out a chuckle as he let out a groan of pain. "I think I should learn where to aim, don't you?"

   Caroline stood besides me at that moment, annoyance evident in her features. "Can we get this done?" she asked, crossing her arms. When Stefan's phone rang, she answered it with a bright, "Stefan's phone."

   "Caroline, where are they?" Elena's voice came from the voice, full of panic and slightly breathless. 

   "Hey, you're gonna be a doctor, right?" I teased, leaning my head towards the phone but keeping my eyes on Stefan. "How long can one live without their heart?"

   "They're gonna let her die, Elena," Stefan said, slightly breathless. He had taken several steps back, standing far away from us. 

   "I can't find them anywhere. We're running out of time!"

   Stefan sighed, defeat appearing wide in his features. "Bring me back," he breathed. 

   "W-what?" Elena sounded confused. "Stefan, w-what do you mean? Bring you back from where?"

   "Just remember to bring me back," he repeated. There was fright in his voice, in his eyes. He opened and closes his fists to his side, almost as if his hands were shaking. 

   I stared at Stefan, taking him in. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his expression changing. When he opened his eyes, I knew that Stefan in front of me was the same man that I had spent a whole summer with. It was the same man that I had been with in the Twenties, the same man that I had shared countless of victims and danced with at Gloria's. A smirk formed around my lips, my rigid stance dropping.

   "Welcome back," I said, and licked my top lip. "How about that fun, huh?"