The rest of the evening was surprisingly boring yet I found that my return to my flat was equally as boring. I flicked my way through some of the video footage I'd captured at the Brasserie yet I found that I had no real interest in watching any of it that night - even though I knew that I should.

I had to admit that I had started to lose my taste for the MI5 life - though I couldn't immediately say why. For a brief moment, I contemplated the possibility that it had something to do with my lost memories, attached to the nameless rage that I'd felt earlier in the evening, yet I couldn't be certain. I also wondered if it had something to do with Zak himself.

I knew that I had to give the lost memories and any decision time to percolate and so, I went to bed.

****

As he'd promised, Zak and I returned to the same Italian restaurant we'd visited before and we were greeted with as much warmth as on our prior visit. That time, Zak insisted on wrapping one arm around my waist as we wandered in, an affectionate gesture that I was more amused by than anything else. I thought that it was Zak's way of staking his claim on me, asserting his no-longer-single status to everyone that cared to notice.

We talked over the meal once more and began to relax even more around one another; once again, I found him to be quite witty, filled with amusing stories of his youth and his adventures in the criminal underworld - not all of which were gory.

I told him of some of my adventures at school, of some of the other jobs I could reveal that I'd taken on and before I knew it, closing time was approaching. We left and stood by Zak's car, his mouth pressed against mine in a series of heated kisses. I allowed each and every one and it was then that I knew that I was truly lost.

****

"And? Have you anything to report yet, Koval?"

My handler stared at me coldly across her desk, one eyebrow raised as though she knew what I had been up to. Perhaps she did and perhaps in that instance I didn't care. Some of that half-remembered animosity and rage seemed to be directed at Stryker herself, a fact that I was only just aware of as I sat in her too-stuffy office, filled with too many books that I knew she never read and artefacts from holidays that I knew she'd never been on. It was all fake - bought on eBay for show and to impress agents like me with her worldliness.

I'd seen evidence of it on her computer, left artlessly open one day after she'd been called out by our section head. The eBay display for the past month had been all too easily read, and remembered by me, yet I didn't think Stryker knew I'd even looked.

"I have not. I have witnessed nothing dubious so far, other than the usual petty forms of thuggery endemic to gangsters everywhere," I said just as crisply. "It is in my report if you have cared to read it."

"I have and don't get smart with me, son," she said and she didn't seem pleased at all with my rare flash of attitude. "Not you of all people."

Stryker's rage, there and gone in an instant, was marked by its sudden absence. I wasn't impressed by her display and that must have shown in my face. I had mixed with a lot of dangerous people in my time as an agent and that kind of association left its mark - which I thought she knew.

"I know what you have been doing, Mykhailo. You would shame your father with this one," Stryker said as she tossed printouts of photos haphazardly across the desk at me.

They were all of Zak and me at the weekend - outside the Italian restaurant, mouths locked together in heated kisses. I didn't flinch nor did I offer an apology. I didn't feel I needed to - not for a series of kisses that I'd actually meant.

"My father knows I'm gay," I said coldly. "He would be glad that I've found myself a partner after so long without one."

"Not this type of man, Mykhailo. Not Quantrell," Stryker said. "Don't embark on this relationship. It will end you. And your career."

"Is that a warning?" I asked and anger started to flare in my gut at Stryker's words. "Because if it is, I don't appreciate the threat."

Stryker gave me a level look before she said - "You should heed it at least, even if you don't appreciate it. I can get you removed from your post for this."

"Yeah. I know. And I don't give a flying fuck. I'm not a man who likes being threatened. I thought you knew this about me by now," I said as I got to my feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, Stryker, I have a job to do. Which is something you assigned me to, if you'll remember."

"Koval!" my handler roared as I strode purposefully from the room.

I didn't stop nor did I hesitate in the slightest. I slammed the door behind me and continued on my way until I had reached the street. Even there, I did not falter. Instead, I made my way to Zak's gym where Terry was only too glad to continue my training in Zak's stead - just as Zak had promised he would.