❛ I lied  ❜

Sweat dripped from her forehead, the tiny droplets leaking down her cheeks as she looked down. She breathed heavily, her hands finding her knees as she bent over to try and recover. That time, however, did not come. 

"And again," the soldier before her ordered, walking behind her so he could grab her ponytail and yank her up. Anna grunted in pain and seethed at the man as he let her hair go, now walking in front of her with his fists held out. "I said again," he demanded, his patience for his prisoner running thin.

She closed her eyes and shook out her hands all the while bouncing lightly on her feet. Not wanting to waste another moment, she swung her fist out, the man sliding to the side to avoid a blow to the cheek. Still not satisfied, he grab her outstretched hand and flipped her with an absurd amount of force onto her back, smashing her onto the hard concrete.

Anna groaned, her arms wrapping around her stomach as she rolled over in pain. "You're lacking!" the man shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her. "I'm trying as hard as I can! You make me train every day for hours and I can't find the time to heal!" she yelled back, regret instantly taking over her mind as the words left her mouth.

Her eyes widened as the man crouched down and he wrapped a hand around her throat, slamming her back down onto the concrete. She whimpered, her hands attempting to pull his from her and he only grinned. "You best watch your mouth. Or I'll convince Ivo that we don't need your friend over there. That would be a shame, but I bet she would make great shark food," he warned, watching Anna's eyes fill with fear. He got what he wanted and released her before standing to his feet, "Now," he said, "Again."

Annabelle stared at the sloppy writing in her journal that brought her back to the freighter. A chill overcame her body and she immediately slammed the book closed and pushed it farther onto the table so she wouldn't even be tempted to look at it. She could hear the man's threat to kill Sara play in the back of her mind, and it only made it more evident that she needed to talk to someone that loved Sara as much as she did. Every time Anna closed her eyes she saw Sara in all her beauty. And every time she opened her mouth, she heard Sara's voice. Perhaps it was because only days ago Sara would have turned twenty-six, and on that day was a time of despair.

After those days had been constant bickering between Diggle and Oliver about if 'The Hood' should go after these bank robbers that had moved to Starling City and helpful advice toward Tommy as he tried to pursue getting Laurel interested in him.

He had come into Anna's room one day to try and plan a CNRI banquet to draw in investors, and Anna had done all she could for him before she was called by Oliver as he complained about Diggle lying to him. 

All in all, it had been a crazy week, one that Anna had still been sitting on the sidelines for. She was feeling better and simply relied on painkillers to get her through her day but she was really fine. Yet, for now and for a little while longer, she was in charge of being behind the scenes whenever Oliver and Diggle went to crusade into the night.

"Pull up that footage I asked you to get," Oliver called out from behind the girl. She turned around in her swivel chair and noticed him and Diggle walking toward her and she turned back to the computer while dropping her legs onto the floor from where they were resting on the table. She clicked a few buttons and opened a few files before she finally opened the footage from the bank robbery a few days earlier. 

Oliver hadn't wanted to look into this case because it wasn't on his father's list, but after convincing from Diggle and Anna he finally agreed. 

As the video loaded, Anna turned her head and saw Diggle leaning on the table next to her and Oliver leaning over her shoulder. "Hey, John," she smiled, facing the computer again. "Anna," he nodded with a small grin as he realized she completely avoided Oliver. "How are you?" he asked. The girl shrugged, "I'm feeling quite alright. Enough so that I feel I could kick some bank robber ass," she responded which earned a chuckle from Dig.

"Yeah, nice try," Oliver reprimanded, knowing she still wasn't at her best yet with her ulcer. She rolled her eyes and pressed play on the footage, not wanting to progress into an argument with Oliver at the moment.

As the video played, Anna noticed people in masks wandering around with heavy duty weapons. She cringed as one fired at a man on the floor and turned her head to look away, "See that guy right there?" Dig asked the two. "He's got a temper."

"And he shot Officer Washington," Oliver added, Diggle humming in response. "Could he not have just shot him once?" Anna scoffed, looking back at the screen. "This is just so cruel and inhumane," she said with a scowl. Diggle smirked, "I don't think bank robbers really care about being inhumane. If they did then they wouldn't be doing... what they do, I guess."

Anna huffed, "It's still morbid."

"Pause it!" Oliver told her in a rush. Anna flinched at hsi abrupt statement and clicked on the footage only to see a ring on a man's finger. "College ring," Oliver told them, clearly intrigued. Anna got to work with her technological skills and started to crop the image and clear it so she could connect the dots. "Well, high school, more likely," Diggle corrected.

"That ring will get us an ID," Oliver agreed, watching Annabelle get to work. Diggle sighed and pressed some buttons on the keyboard, making Anna look at him with the most annoyed look on her face. Oliver grinned at her expression but kept his thoughts to himself as Diggle spoke up, "Yeah, but even with photo enhancement you're gonna' have a problem getting a clear shot of that ring."

"No, but it will have left an impression the police would have photographed, it'll be in evidence lockup," Oliver replied. Anna folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, her back nudging Oliver's hand off the back. "You both are too close in my personal space, so just have at it. I will watch," she said while gesturing to the computers with a tired yawn leaving her mouth.

Oliver smiled and stepped away from the computers, going to prepare for the next mission. As he walked away, Anna stood to her feet and wandered over to the table next to Diggle just as he sat in the seat she was in before. "Please tell me you're not going where I think you're going," Diggle said as Oliver grabbed his bag and started walking toward the door. "Diggle, why do you even ask?" Oliver grinned.

Once he made it to the exit, Anna turned back around and looked at Diggle who was concentrated on the security footage. "We've watched it through, John. What are you looking for?"

He shrugged, leaning back in the chair, "I don't know. Something's off. The hostages, maybe," he answered, his eyes narrowing at the screen. Anna raised an eyebrow and grabbed a comm. set from the table, then tossing one to John so they would be able to communicate with Oliver. "You know your boyfriend is an idiot, right?" he asked the girl who nodded while pursing her lips. "We're on a break, but yeah, I am well aware," she replied.

"Oh, right. Nearly forgot about that," Dig laughed. Anna beamed, "Wel, it isn't memorable," she sarcastically said to him in a scolding way. Diggle laughed again, his own joke and then Anna's added one making his day brighter. But all his laughs died down when Oliver activated his comms. and whispered commands, "I'm in," he told the two, swinging himself into the police department.

"Great, you probably know your way around, seeing as you've been arrested so many times," Anna told him with a clip in the back of her tone, letting Oliver know she was still angry at him. "Maybe they have a punch card. For every five times you've been arrested you get the sixth one off," Diggle added on. Anna blindly held up her hand and Diggle blindly gave her the high-five, the two of them enjoying their jokes. 

Oliver, however, rolled his eyes and carefully maneuvered around the station. "Okay, I got all the information. Do you think you'll be able to look through it?" he said in a hushed whisper. Diggle looked to Anna only to see her staring at her watch. "Annabelle?" Oliver hissed.

The girl's head snapped up and she looked at the screen, seeing dozens of links pulling up and rows of numbers being inputed into her files. "Uh, yeah, sure," she answered. Before she could click anything, she looked at her watch again and bit her lower lip, "You have somewhere to be?" Diggle asked her. "Or are you -- "

"Um, yeah," she cut him off, leaning back on the table. "I, uh, I really hate to leave you like this, John, but I do. I do have somewhere I have to be. Do you think you could sift through this?"

"Yeah, of course," he said as if it were a no-brainer. The girl smiled at him, "I really am sorry, but this is something I have to do."

As the words left her mouth, she was already tugging on her trenchcoat and pulling the earpiece out of her ear and tossing it on the table. She didn't hear Oliver asking where she needed to go and complain about her leaving at an important time, so she gave Diggle a thankful smile before racing out of the basement.

She needed to go see Lance. She had to. He had just gotten off his shift and with all these thoughts about Sara plaguing her mind she needed to talk to someone and confess everything. Well, maybe not everything, but certainly close to it.

The walk itself to Lance's apartment was not long considering the club was down in the Glades just as Lance was, so after a silent ten minute walk, Anna found herself standing in front of his apartment building with a growing feeling of regret deep in her chest. No matter how much she kept telling herself to do this, part of her wanted her to go back and help Diggle. But she pursued on.

"Here we go," she whispered just as she walked inside the warm building. She noticed the back hallway light was flickering and she bit her lip and raced up the stairs. It wasn't long before she found his apartment on the second floor, just where she remembered it was from when she would visit five years ago.

As soon as she knocked on the door, regret consumed her thoughts and she suddenly did not want to do this anymore. She was going to be telling the truth about something she had already turned into a lie - and furthermore, she was doing it to a police detective. But at the same, the cons did not outweigh the pros and to protect her mental health and Lance's she had to come clean about part of her five year journey in Hell.

She waited for a moment for the door to finally open, and when it did Lance stood with a surprised expression yet one filled with hope. He had said accusing things to Anna, and he thought he had quickly ruined their father-daughter-like bond once he did. But her being at his doorstep said otherwise. "Hey!" he said with a smile tugging at his lips. "Uh, come in, come in! Please!" he rushed out, stepping out of the doorway to allow the girl to enter his apartment. She smiled at him and walked inside, seeing the same pictures hanging on the wall that she had seen years ago when she was last inside. 

Once Lance had closed the door, Anna turned around from where she was standing and met Lance's gaze. With no warning, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a warm hug, one of which he returned without knowing why. "Are you okay, Bella?" he asked, pulling away and looking down at her. She shrugged, "I just needed someone to talk to," she admitted, looking partly embarrassed for her actions and words. Lance smiled, "I can always be that person," he said while gesturing to the couch in the living room. 

Anna wandered to the tan sofa, sitting down but staying on the edge so as to not make herself too comfortable when the news she had to share would disrupt that comfortableness. Lance himself decided to sit next to her, also sitting on the edge after taking notice of Anna's decision. 

Anna lifted her hands and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before looking to her friend with a small smile, "Did Laurel tell you?" she wondered, not quite knowing Lance knew about her split with Oliver several days ago. She and Oliver split for now ever since she saw him kissing Laurel, but she had to be civil with him because she lived at his home and because their nightly crusades depended on their partnership. So when she was with Oliver, everything became serious and no matter how angry she was at him and how much he took notice of it and tried to make things right, they didn't mention their situation - even though they both knew they would have to have a conversation about it later on.

Lance nodded and looked at her, trying to see if she was truly alright or if she was putting up a facade. "I'm sorry about your relationship with Queen," he honestly replied. "I may have never liked the guy, but I know he made you happy."

Anna shrugged and played with her fingers, her eye-catching on a hangnail that she now started to pull. "He's all I had, and sometimes he is still all I have. We're just going through something right now and hopefully one day we will be able to end this silly break and try again," she admitted. "It's not a forever thing, I do hope. And with that, we aren't broken up." 

Lance nodded, starting to partly understand what she was saying. He had that type of love once, and he knew it would be a shame for Anna to throw it all away. "Is that why you came all the way here? Or did you come to yell at me for thinking you were 'The Hoodess?'"

Anna chuckled a bit, lifting her head to see Lance sitting with a nervous smile. "No, I didn't come to yell. I know how bad it looked, and I would have thought the same if the roles were switched," she explained, watching as Lance relaxed only a little. "But I didn't come to talk about vigilantes, nor did I come to talk about Oliver or Laurel. If I wanted to do that I would probably talk with my bodyguard or try to come in contact with my parents," she corrected, watching Lance's face contort into confusion. "Then what did you come to talk about?" Lance asked.

Anna took a deep breath and closed her eyes, allowing herself to calm down before she began her next sentence. "I came to talk about Sara," she responded, her voice breaking at the end of her words, making her sure that she would not be able to get through this conversation without breaking down. Lance tensed up and Anna dropped her head, her eyes finding the floor as it suddenly became very interesting. "Lance, I am going to tell you something that you can in no way tell anyone else," she said, waiting for the go-ahead from the man she was conversing with.

"Yeah, sure. I promise," he said.

"You know Oliver wasn't alone on the island, he has the scars to prove it. And so do I. But what you don't know, what no one knows... is that I did not find Oliver right away. In reality, I did not see him for six months," she admitted, her brain wanting to take back everything as she said it. She was telling Lance a very large part of a very large lie. No matter he didn't know she was the other Starling City vigilante, he now knew something that no one else did. "But your declaration..." he trailed off, his eyes narrowing at her truth.

She shook her head and cut him off, "I lied in my declaration because it was too hard to think about," she admitted, her words now forming a partial lie. Yes, it was too hard for her to think about, but she lied in her declaration of life mainly because no one needed to know what happened on the island and try to piece things together. As far as everyone knew, she was still the wealthy Carter heir with a big heart. "It hurt so much to remember the time, and I have nightmares every night as I think about it," she continued, her voice breaking as a tear fell to the ground beneath her feet. She clasped her hands tight, her fingers turning white from the strength. "Sara and I made it together," she went on, not caring how Lance would react and instead needing to get everything out of her system. "At first we didn't, but then a couple days later we found each other."

As Anna continued, she purposely left all details about the freighter and the island specifically out of her story, not needing Lance to try and finish the puzzle she had outlined. "We were hurt and scared, neither one of us knew what to do. Every night I would give her more food than I had because I wanted her to make it back for the both of us. I made she sure had sleep and that she was healthy and that she was okay," she went on, her soft cries now being loud sobs. Lance had tears in his eyes and down his face and he placed a hand over his mouth as she continued on. "But it got really hard," she choked out, a whisper taking over her voice as another sob racked her body. "Some days were bad and she would hold me as I cried. We were lost and alone and scared. She was everything to me, Lance. She was like family. But I think she thought of me as more. Sara loved me, and I loved her but in a very different way. She told me one day that she had feelings for me and while we were alone and depending on each other they grew. It was hard to know that someone I loved so much as family loved me as more, but it was harder because when we lost each other and I found her dead later on, I knew... I knew... that I should have told her that I had feelings for her, too! I thought I loved her as family, but maybe I liked her as something more. I don't know, Lance! A-And I know that you don't deserve to hear this, but she came on the yacht because of her feelings for me. I didn't know," Anna sobbed, her arms wrapping around her torso as she rocked herself back and forth on the couch.

"I should've told her no! If I had known then maybe I could've told her to stay here and she would be alive! But because of me she's dead!" she screamed out. Lance sat still, his body frozen in shock. He was trying to process everything. His daughter - his baby girl - loved Anna, and perhaps Anna loved her, too. He couldn't understand any of it. Anna herself couldn't understand any of it. When Sara died, a part of Anna died as well. And she found herself questioning her feelings for the girl. Maybe she loved her, she didn't know. But when it was only her and Oliver, the feelings were put on the back burner and she had to do what she needed to do in order to survive. She knew she loved Oliver the entire time she was on the island, but at the same time she may have liked or loved Sara. All she knew was that now she didn't have any feelings but loss for Sara, and it killed her to know Sara's death was all her fault.

Lance couldn't think anymore, he couldn't try to think. So instead, he found himself wrapping his arms tight around Anna to stop her from rocking back and forth. He held her close and tried to calm her down. He pulled her to him and whispered in her ear "It's not your fault, baby." But as she continued crying, one of his own tears fell onto your shoulder and he cried out softly. "It's not your fault."

•••

It was dark by the time Anna returned home after her conversation with Lance and she was thrilled to have the chance to walk home and clear her mind. She and Lance had cried with each other for long moments before finally calming themselves down enough to assure each other that perhaps they would be fine later on. And after that, Anna excused herself from Lance's abode and started home.

It was nearing nine in the evening when she finally opened the door to the Queen Mansion and the first thing she noticed was that the only light on was a table lamp in the living room. She knew Oliver must be up and not wishing to talk with him she shut the front door and walked to the stairs without saying a word. 

However, Oliver noticed her presence and immediately shut the television off before standing to his feet in a rush. He turned the corner and entered the foyer as soon as Anna was about to step onto the twelfth stair. "Where were you? I was getting worried," Oliver called out, watching Anna stop near the top of the stairs and turn to face him. She knew she would have to answer him to avid his constant pestering so with a sigh she replied: "I had some things I needed to take care of."

"What things?"

"Well, if you must know..." she snipped, a hard glare tossed toward Oliver, "It was Sara's twenty-sixth birthday several days ago and I needed to see how Lance was."

Oliver pursed his lips, knowing very well of Sara's birthday but chose not to mention it because he knew of Sara and Anna's close connection. "Oh," he said blankly, trying to choose his next words carefully. "Well, how are you?"

Anna rolled her eyes and rolled her head back like a child having an argument with their parent and she turned around to take another step up the staircase. She gripped the rail and pulled herself up tiredly, "I'm fine, Oliver," she said with an annoyed tone coating her voice. "Are you?" Oliver pushed on, looking up at her still from the bottom of the stairs. Anna - without turning her body completely - looked back at him and narrowed her eyes, "Do not act like you care so much, Oliver. Otherwise, you may break your 'Old Oliver Queen' facade," she snapped at him. His eyed widened at her words and she walked on. 

"Look, I'm sorry for not staying throughout the duration of the mission. I will do some research on the people and make it up to you. But for now, I would like to go sit down and remember Sara as the girl that helped me survive and hopefully not burden myself thinking about her. I do not want to have this conversation with you where you think you understand what Sara and I felt and went through. So without any hesitation and hopefully no interruption, I bid you goodnight, Oliver," she finished as she didn't turn to meet his eyes once and instead walked away down the hall as soon as is name left her mouth. 

Oliver sighed and looked down, hearing her door close upstairs. He knew he didn't have the right to try and comfort her, and he knew he didn't deserve to think about holding her close anymore. But he still wanted to, and no matter if she didn't believe it, he loved her with everything he could give.

It took all his self-control not to run after her, and instead, he sat down on the couch in the living room again and listened to the news talk about the recent bank robberies and the policeman that was shot during one. His mission could take his mind off Anna, or so he thought, anyway.

Upstairs, Anna tugged her coat off and tossed it on the back of her desk chair before sitting down on her bed and slipping her flats off. She looked to the corner of the bed and noticed it was flat instead of raised, but before she could freak out about her missing journal, she had to remind herself that she left it in the basement of the club where she was reading it earlier that day.

So with nothing to read or write, Anna threw herself back onto the covers of her bed and stared at her ceiling with two simle words leaving her mouth for the girl she lost.

"I'm sorry."