EDMUND:

I didn't go far. I didn't want Ruth to worry if she decided to follow me.

Something just wasn't right. It just wasn't right. It wasn't a coincidence.

Why hadn't I destroyed the vial when I had the chance? Ruth had told me about it shortly after I turned 16. She said she didn't want to tell me before then because she didn't want me to worry about it unnecessarily, but I should gave destroyed it then and there.

I had been afraid. Why afraid? I was afraid of being too weak to destroy what had destroyed me. What had nearly destroyed my family.

I would have given anything to have the cursed thing in the palm of my hand. I would have given anything to have it in my hand and smash against the rock next to which I stood. I settled for kicking the rock instead, a satisfying pain flooding through my body. Adrenaline and confusion alike coursed through my veins, something like a rock settling in my stomach. The world around me was beginning to warm as the sun climbed higher and higher in the sky, but all I could feel was the icy grip of guilt wrapping its fingers around my soul.

I was a ten-year-old boy again with tears freezing to icicles on my cheeks. Sitting in chains on the cold ice and nearly breaking my teeth on the bread on the metal tray. Reaching forward to give it to Mr. Tumnus, whom I had put there. Hearing the sound of Ruth's voice, my saving grace. Watching as she tried to free me, her cold hands so gentle and her eyes so caring, then watching as she fell to the ground unconscious and bleeding. Laying helplessly as Mr. Tumnus was dragged away across the ice. Going the next few days not knowing if Ruth was dead or alive, not knowing if my family was dead or alive, not knowing if I would make it out dead or alive.

Cold, so cold, even in the heat of the summer day. I debated whether or not to go back inside, but I lowered myself to the ground and sat with my back to the rock and cradled my head in my hands.

Why would I go back? For my family?

For Ruth? Why would I go back if I was only going to hurt her more? But she would want me to go back... for some reason, she always wanted me to go back to her.

The vial. The activity at the castle. It all had to mean something. But what good was I if I couldn't figure it out?

If anyone would know, it would be me. I was the first victim. I would have given anything to be the last, but it was too late. I hadn't destroyed it when I had the chance.

I rose slowly to my feet, surprised to feel that my face was wet with tears. I wandered a little further away, turning to look over my shoulder at the small home. I swallowed hard and kept walking away, back toward the lamppost.

"Why, Aslan?" I asked aloud, watching the flames dance. "Why did any of this have to happen? Why must I keep paying my penance?"

Receiving no answer, I turned to my right and eventually found myself in the middle of a dense woods. I needed to stop and think. It just wasn't making sense. The vial. The activity at the castle. The disappearance of Olivus. It all had to mean something.

Not fully aware of what I was doing, I began to climb the nearest tree. I remembered that Peter had said something about that, once. They had climbed a tree to hide from the wolves after escaping the Beavers' dam. When I had nearly reached the top, I sat on a branch and stared at the sky.

It was dizzying. Intoxicating. The power I held just sitting at the top of a tall tree was staggering. But also the faith I placed in the branch beneath me. The whole way up, really, I trusted the tree to hold me. At the top, I had the power to either touch the sky or fall to the ground.

I kept turning the same things over and over again in my mind. The vial. The activity at the castle. The disappearance of Olivus. The disappearance of so many others. It had to mean something. But what?

I stared at the sky, watching as the sun made its daily journey from east to west. I kept thinking, thinking, thinking, but nothing came to me. Once the moon had replaced the sun, I rose to my feet. I stood on the branch, looking down at the forest floor. The same sensation overtook me.

Dizzying power. Intoxicating power. Staggering power.

A distant voice snapped me from my trance.

"Edmund! Edmund, where did you go?"

I hated hearing the worry in her voice.

"I'm here," I called back.

"Edmund? Edmund!" I watched as Ruth walked past below me, a small cloaked figure in the moonlight. "I heard you. Where are you?"

I didn't respond. A deeper voice in my soul told me to jump. I couldn't respond. She looked back and forth and back and forth. Then she stood still, and looked slowly upward, holding the lantern in a way that caught the beautiful hue of her eyes.

"Oh, Edmund," she whimpered, setting the lantern down and scampering up after me. I wanted to say something to her that would make her smile and would chase away the fear in those beautiful eyes, but nothing came to mind. When she reached the branch below me, her eyes were so full of tears they sparkled even in the dim light of the moon and stars. "Please sit down, Edmund, and let me sit with you. Please."

Something in her voice forced me to comply, and I lowered myself carefully, and made room for her to sit next to me. She breathed a sigh of relief and hugged me.

"Oh, Edmund," she said again, sounding as if she might cry.

I stared straight ahead, but put an arm around her trembling shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her about how sorry I really was, for everything, and I wanted to tell her that I had really tried to protect her, and I wanted to tell her that I loved her and I really meant that, and I wanted to tell her that she should just give up on me, but I couldn't. So I said it again. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," she replied, straightening up and drying the tears that had dripped down her cheeks. I met her gaze for the first time. Her lower lip trembled, but she swallowed hard. "I thought that if I didn't follow you, you'd feel better knowing that I trust you. Which I do. But when it got dark I was scared that something horrible had happened to you and I combed the entire woods before finding you here. I'm sorry, Edmund, if I had known you were... you were feeling so..." She hugged me again, and I stroked her hair.

"Don't be sorry," I choked out, suddenly flooded with emotion. "It's alright. Let's go down."

"Together?"

I winced at the pain that laced her voice. I nodded. "Together."

She slowly crawled down the tree, me just above her. When we reached the ground, she handed me my pack and the lantern. I slung my pack over my shoulder and looked up at the stars.

"Do you want to go back to Mr. Tumnus's house for tonight?" Ruth asked, drying some more tears.

"I don't really want to eat their food," I answered. "As much as I want a real roof over my head."

She nodded. "I agree. Speaking of food, are you hungry?"

I shook my head. "No. Are you?"

"No."

"Should we sleep under the lamppost again?"

"If you want to, Edmund."

"If you want to."

She giggled. "I guess we can, then. Let's go."

She took my hand gently, the same one I had used to nearly crush hers. I could tell she wanted me to be close to her so she knew I was safe. I didn't mind. My insides still churned with guilt and shame.

We settled down silently.

"Good night, Edmund," she said with a yawn, her hand reaching for mine again.

"Good night, Ruth," I replied, giving her hand a squeeze and drifting off to sleep.

🦁

Darkness. That was all I could see. Up, down, left, right. Darkness, and cold. Where was I?

Slowly, the darkness gave away to white. Not light, but... white. With a little bit of blue. I wanted to cry as the icy cellar came into view.

This time, I was not in chains. I was standing in the middle of the room.

"Edmund Pevensie," came a sickly sweet voice from behind me. I refused to turn around. I shut my eyes and clenched my jaw and my fists. "You were so easy."

I still refused to speak, to move. So she continued.

"Just a little bit of hot chocolate and Turkish delight, and I had you wrapped around my little finger. The others have been harder. I wonder what it would take to get your little friend Ruth. She is far nobler than you, but everyone has a breaking point."

"Leave her out of this!" I roared. The castle shuddered around me. I whirled around to face the Witch head-on. "Leave her out of this!"

"Oh, dear Edmund, she is already involved. She followed you, remember? And she's followed you again."

"I know," I sobbed, "I know. But please, leave her out of this, she's done no wrong."

"Unlike you?"

I bit my lip. "Yes, unlike me."

She placed her fingers on her chin. "I have never had the pleasure of speaking with her. I suppose I will go now. You will lead me to her."

"No!" I bellowed. "No! No! Leave her out of this!"

"She matters far too much to you and to Narnia to let her live. Oh, but I think I know just what might tempt her. Far more tempting than your silly Turkish delight. Why, here she comes now. Look!"

I glanced out of the window, and I saw her surrounded by dark whisps of what looked like smoke. They danced around her, striking occasionally.

"Oh yes, those will do her in. There they go now."

The whisps surrounded her and all swooped at once. Ruth crumpled to the ground, bleeding as they fled, just as shapeless as ever.

"Just you wait, Edmund," the Witch said, smiling at me. "Soon they will come upon her in reality as well. She will die, and you will have to watch her suffer until she does."

I screamed, and jerked myself awake. Ruth seemed as if she'd just been jolted awake as well, and our eyes met.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yes," I half-sobbed. "Are you?"

She started to nod, then shook her head. "We can't keep pretending to be strong for each other, Edmund, it's not working. I'm not alright, and neither are you." She moved closer to me and gripped my hands. "What's wrong? What happened?"

I shuddered. "Ruth, the White Witch is coming for you." My throat closed off as tears rose to my eyes. "And I don't know if I can protect you. I couldn't-" I swallowed hard and composed myself. "I couldn't all those years ago, and I still can't. I'm sorry. I hate myself for it every day, knowing how much hurt I caused you and my family all because of..."

I hesitated. She sympathetically wrinkled her eyebrows.

"It's alright, Edmund, back up a bit. What do you mean she's coming after me?"

"She wants to kill you, Ruth. No," I said. She had briefly opened her mouth, then shut it. "Remember? We aren't trying to be strong anymore. It's alright. Talk to me."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just don't understand. What happened in your dream, Edmund?"

"I was back in the room where we were held captive, and the White Witch was there. And she told me that I was easy to tempt, but that the others were harder. And she told me that she knew how to tempt you. And you were outside in the grass, and you were being attacked by these... by these shadows. And I think they killed you. And she said that you would die and I would have to watch you suffer, and Ruth, I'm terrified, I can't lose you."

I expected Ruth to be more concerned by the death threat against her, but she wasn't.

"Others? What did she mean by others?"

"I... I didn't ask. I was too upset by her threatening you."

Ruth smiled sadly. "Thanks, Edmund." Her eyes widened. "What if she means the people who disappeared?"

My eyes widened too. "Maybe she did."

"But what did she mean by tempt? How would she still have that power?" Her mouth formed an O shape. "Edmund, the vial."

I opened my mouth, then closed it, then opened it again and finally found words. "How do you know about that?"

"The night Tumnus and I saved it, the dwarf said that it was what had 'swayed' you, I think was his word choice. What if that's what she's doing? But wait, how? How did it-" She stopped midsentence when she saw tears fill my eyes. "I'm sorry, Edmund."

"It's alright," I replied.

She squeezed my hands, her thumb rubbing against mine. "If you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

Like lightning, the picture clicked into my mind. "Ruth, I think I know how she's doing it. Or her minions. Or whoever. Ruth, I know how she's doing it."

"Tell me, Ed." She moved closer. "I'm right here. We can save them."

I drew a deep, shaky breath. "Ruth, what the dwarf said is right. I was swayed. Tempted." I swallowed hard. "By Turkish delight. Magical Turkish delight. I know it's so silly, but it's true. The Witch found me in the forest and talked to me and gave me Turkish delight and hot chocolate and told me I could be her prince and get more of it if I brought my family to Narnia, so I did. That's what the vial does, it can make food and drink with a single drop. That's how whoever has the vial has probably been swaying people. Like Olivus. You said he loved his family and was concerned about the famine. What if they showed him a bit of the food, fed it to him, and told him that there was more at the Witch's castle, and he was already under the spell so he followed them? He felt a little off about it so he left clues."

"The clues all point to the Witch's castle!" Ruth exclaimed, her face lighting up. "Oh, Edmund, you've solved it! That makes perfect sense!" Her face suddenly grew solemn. "Thank you for sharing with me what happened. I know that must have been difficult."

I nodded. "Do you want to hear the rest of it?"

"If it would help you."

I nodded again. "I think so. I slipped away from the dam in order to get more Turkish delight. You heard our conversation on the steps, I'm sure. After the Witch struck you, she asked if I knew anything more about my family. I told her what I had overheard at the dam, and she took me with her in pursuit. I kept telling myself that I would stop telling her anything, but-" My voice broke. "I feared for my life. And I feared for theirs. I thought she would find out eventually, but that maybe she'd have mercy on me and on them and on Narnia if I kept throwing her bones. So I did." I sighed. "Ruth, I can't forgive myself for any of it. All of that started because of candy."

"Enchanted candy," she corrected gently. "Edmund, I understand. It's alright."

"But Aslan would never have had to die. I would have saved my family so much anxiety. You never would have been hurt so badly. I mean, Ruth." I gently rolled up her sleeves. "You still have scars. I... could have prevented all of that."

"We never know what could have happened, Ed," she said. "Everything happens for a reason. And right now, what we need to do is use your story to make sure that nobody else gets taken."

"And we need to destroy the castle."

"Destroy the castle?"

"That's where they've been hiding. We must destroy the castle. It's the last physical remnant of her power, Ruth."

"If nothing else, it'll be symbolic of her defeat," she agreed. "Good thinking, Edmund."

"Thank you." I looked up at the stars, then met Ruth's eyes again. "Ruth, what was your nightmare?" Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. I hated seeing her cry, so I backpedaled. "You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable."

She shook her head and cleared her throat. "You were vulnerable with me, so I should be vulnerable with you. I trust you." She glanced away. "It's not that I didn't trust you. I always have. I just didn't want to burden you."

"You're not a burden, Ruth Byrne." I smiled. "Hey, what's your middle name?"

She blinked and smiled. "What?"

"What's your middle name, Ruth? I've never known."

"Sarah," she replied. "What's yours?"

"Thomas."

"Edmund Thomas Pevensie. That has a nice ring to it."

"So does Ruth Sarah Byrne," I responded. "Anyway, I'm sorry, go on."

"It's alright, that helped me. Thank you. My nightmares are always the same. I relive the night of the bombing. I watched my family die, Edmund. Sometimes I have to watch them die the same way I did in reality, sometimes I can save them temporarily. I-" Her voice broke. She cleared her throat again. "I've never seen them live to the end of a dream."

"I'm so sorry, Ruth, I had no idea."

"I know. It's alright. Peter didn't know what my nightmares were, but he would always come when I woke up screaming. He would take me down to the kitchen for something to drink." She paused. "Funnily enough, my nightmares had stopped until we left Cair Paravel. I've had one nearly every night since."

I pursed my lips. "That is funny."

She nodded. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, we can't do anything until the morning." She sighed. "Do you want to try sleeping more?"

"Not really... do you?"

"Not really. Let's come up with a plan, though."

And so we did. We plotted our next moves until we slowly drifted back off to sleep, this time much more peaceful and not disturbed by any of the demons of our past. When we awoke the next morning, we set off with a new energy, determined to save everything we held dear.