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Chapter 17: Secrets & Pretty Much Dead Already

Rick and Annie avoided each other the following day. She'd been on her way towards the woods to do a quick perimeter check and gather some firewood when she saw Carl up and walking with his mother. Just the sight of him doing so well, a big smile on his face, waving and calling at her happily, made her smile as well and wave back at him. The look on Lori's face, the way she hurried him along, stopping him from talking to her brought her back to reality though. Walking back towards the camp, a pile of wood under her arm, she came to a stop as Hershel's missing horse nearly ran her down. Shaking her head, Annie continued her trek back, nodding at Patricia with her wheel-barrel as she passed. Curiosity got the better of her and Annie watched the woman over her shoulder. Patricia was headed towards the barn. In their short time at the farm, she had never seen a single person go to that barn so what the hell was Patricia doing there? Frowning, Annie reminded herself that what Hershel's people did on his farm were their business. If she wanted to continue living on the property, she was going to mind herself. As Annie continued back to camp, Glenn stopped her and nervously offered a peach.

"Where'd you get these?" she asked, marveling at the fruit.

"Um, Maggie." Annie nodded, rolling the peach around in her hand with a smile. "Maggie. Hershel's daughter," Glenn clarified with a stammer. "Maggie." Annie quirked a brow at her friend.

"I know who Maggie is, Glenn." He let out a laugh and nodded his head, muttering to himself that of course she knew. "So what's going on?" she asked, happily biting into the peach. Damn, it had been a long time she'd eaten a fresh peach! Years even!

"Nothing, nothing!" he quickly answered, fidgeting on the balls of his feet. "Nothing at all."

Quirking a brow at him, she replied, "Okay...?" Glenn nodded at her and she continued eating her peach, expecting him to either speak again or move on. But he didn't move on and he didn't speak so Annie just stared at him in anticipation. Glenn's mouth opened and closed as he shifted on his feet, his eyes darting around the area. "You got something you wanna tell me, Glenn?"

"No!" he shouted and she stared at him like he was crazy. "No. No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm sorry. I just..." He let out a rough sigh and ducked his head, muttering, "I'm gonna go." With that, he walked away and she stared after him in confusion.

"Okaaay," she toned perplexed and shook her head. "What the hell was that?" she muttered, heading back to her tent. Glenn could be so strange some times. Maybe it was because he was on a farm and he was a city boy before the world ended. Maybe it was a guy thing. Maybe the sun was just frying his brain. Either way, Annie didn't ponder on it too long and continued back to her tenth. On her way, however, Beth cautiously approached her.

"Hi, Miss Annie," she greeted, smiling sweetly.

Annie chuckled under her breath. "Beth, please, just Annie."

"Annie," she repeated, her shoulders relaxing a bit. "Um, I was wondering..." The teenager wrung her hands nervously.

"Yeah?"

"Um, well...you see, Patricia and I, uh..." Looking over her shoulder, she waved Patricia over and the blond woman rushed over to Beth's side. Patricia rubbed Beth's back in a comforting manner, nodding for her to continue. "Well, you see, Jimmy had mentioned that Mr. Grimes and Mr. Walsh were gonna give him gun training." Annie nodded.

"Yeah, I'm surprised Hershel agreed to it, to be honest. No offense to your father," she began, looking at the teen, "but he seems like the type that, when he puts his foot down, it's down for good."

"You got him pegged right," Beth told her with a smile. Gesturing to herself and Patricia, she added, "Surprised us, too. Which is why we were wondering, um..." Clearly the girl was so nervous, she couldn't get whatever she wanted to ask out so she turned to Patricia for help.

Patricia nodded, patting Beth's back in assurance before looking at Annie. "What Beth is trying to ask is, if you don't mind, could you maybe teach us? How to shoot, I mean." Annie looked between the two, momentarily stunned.

"You wanna learn how to shoot?"

"Hershel is the only one who knows how since Otis..." Died. Patricia couldn't say the word but it hung in the air between the three women for a solitary moment. After a brief moment to compose herself, Patricia continued. "But he doesn't like guns and, if what we've heard from some of your people is true—"

"What have you heard exactly?" Annie asked, concerned someone was telling the poor famers about the atrocities in Atlanta or, worse, what happened at the CDC.

"Just talk," Beth interjected. Annie put a hand on her hip and sighed, shaking her head. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of teaching them, not at all. "We just want to be prepared. Better safe than sorry."

"Hershel was pretty clear on his stance about guns," Annie reminded them. He didn't want his property turned into an armed camp. No one carried except for the one person who would be on watch and that was final. "He know you're asking me this?"

Beth nodded and eagerly responded, "He consented."

"Are you sure about that? Because Jimmy lied and said your father gave him the clear to help us look for Sophia." Beth floundered a moment, uncertain how to respond. Her hesitance immediately made Annie think she was lying about Hershel's consent, same as her boyfriend had. Crossing her arms, she made to give the girl a stern lecture when Patricia interrupted.

"She's not lying. Hershel is stubborn, you're right," the other woman agreed, "but he knows we need to prepare for the worst. It's what us farmers do: hope for the best, prepare for the worst. This," she said, referring to the gun training they desperately wanted, "is us preparing." Annie looked between the two blonds. They were unmoved and, it seemed, they would be until they got their way. Annie sighed heavily and thought that stubborn must be a common trait on the Greene farm.

"Well, I'm not much of a teacher." Both women deflated until Annie smiled and added, "But I know the gun training is an open lesson. Let's go ask, hmm?" Beth smiled and nodded, pulling Patricia long after Annie towards the pickup where her boyfriend was going over maps with Rick and Shane. "Hey, Sheriff!" Annie called out, drawing Rick's attention. He chuckled and gave her his full attention as she approached, although seeing both Patricia and Hershel's youngest daughter with her perplexed him.

"How can we help you today, ladies?" Rick asked, biting into his peach. Looked like Glenn had made the rounds.

"These ladies have some business to discuss with you gentlemen," Annie said and gently nudged Beth. The younger girl looked at her, wide eyed, but Annie just smiled and nodded. The teen nodded and told Rick, without a hint of her previous nerves, that she and Patricia would like to join them for gun training.

"Hershel's been very clear," Rick responded, shaking his head. "I can't involve any of you in what we do without his okay."

"He doesn't like it," Beth admitted, "but he consented." Both officers looked skeptical, Shane shaking his head. Patricia told them the same thing she'd told Annie: that Otis had been the only one who knew guns. Without him around, they needed to know how to protect themselves.

"Her father saw the sense in that," Patricia told them. Shane shook his head once more before heading to the RV.

"No offense," Rick said, still skeptical as he eyed Jimmy and remembered his lies, "but I'll ask Hershel myself." Beth nodded despondently and Annie suggested she and Patricia go get Hershel so Rick could do just that. Once both were gone, Jimmy running off after them, Rick set his gaze on Annie. "You put them up to that?"

Annie raised her hands in a show of surrender and remarked, "I had nothing to do with it." Rick just smirked and hummed dubiously. "I didn't!" she insisted with a laugh. "They actually came to me wanting a private lesson. Probably because they didn't think they'd be welcome at yours." She stared him down and added, "I wonder why."

"You could've just given them a lesson yourself." Annie shook her head and told him the same thing he'd told the women: she wasn't a teacher. "I don't know. Seems to me you're doing all right with Carl. He's learning a whole bunch of things from you." The smile that played on Rick's lips baffled her momentarily until she realized.

"No," she gasped. Rick nodded at her. "He didn't!"

"He did." Annie put a hand to her mouth to smother her laughter. She couldn't believe he'd gone to his dad talking about how she taught him about hell. Which she hadn't since he already knew about it! "He figured if he told me himself, then you wouldn't have any leverage."

Annie nodded and conceded, "Smart kid. You punish him?"

"There might've been some half-hearted talk of soap in his mouth." The pair shared another laugh and Rick watched Annie, smiling at her. She looked beautiful when she smiled. When she asked what he was looking at, he hesitated.

"Rick!" Shane barked, rushing out from the other side of the RV. Saved by his partner, Rick supposed. Both he and Annie watched Shane approach, looking fairly pissed off. He was gripping Carl's shoulder in one hand and held a gun in the other. Where the hell had he gotten a gun? They were supposed to be locked up. "We got a problem."

Carl sat on a bench, looking morosely at the ground. He was in trouble and he knew it. Deciding to say nothing, knowing his words would do know good, he found himself surrounded by his parents, Shane, Annie and Dale. Rick had gone to get Lori while Annie got Dale. He'd been the one put in charge of the guns, since he was always meant to be the one on watch. Had Carl slipped by him, stolen a gun? If so, that put into question not just Dale's skills as the guardian of the guns but also Carl's morals. Lori was livid, to say the least, demanding to know how the hell her son had gotten his hands on a gun.

"It's my fault," Dale admitted. Carl's parents looked at him, perplexed. "I let him into the RV. He said he wanted a walkie. That you," he said, gesturing to Rick, "sent him for one?"

"We only have one walkie and I've got it," Annie announced, pulling said walkie out of her pack to show them. She had taken a seat beside Carl, not wanting him to feel completely overwhelmed. "Carl, you know Hershel's rule about guns," she lightly scolded.

"We have this under control, thank you very much," Lori snapped at her and Annie backed off, hands in the air. Dale patted her back reassuringly but she just nodded at him; it was okay. "So, on top of everything else, he lied?" she remarked. Carl just looked at the ground guiltily. Shane told his parents that Carl had asked him to teach him how to shoot and that, while it was none of his business, he was happy to do it for them. "Well, I'm not comfortable with it!" she scoffed, shaking her head but Rick and Shane shared a pointed look. "Oh, don't make me out to be the unreasonable one here. Rick?"

"I have my concerns, but—"

"There is no "but", he was just shot!" she retorted. "He's just back on his feet and he wants a gun?"

"Better than him being afraid of 'em. There are guns in camp for a reason, he should learn to handle them safely." Lori shook her head, telling him that she didn't want her kid walking around with a gun. "How can you defend that? You can't let him go around without protection." Lori shook her head, telling him that Carl was as safe as he'd ever be right there in camp. With his mother coddling him, Annie thought bitterly. She told her husband that everything he said made perfect sense but it felt wrong.

"I mean, I didn't feel good about him following you out into the woods and I wished I'd said something, I should've gone with my gut," she told him and Rick sighed at the accusation.

"He's growing up, thank God. We gotta start treating him more like an adult."

"Then he needs to act like one! He's not mature enough to handle a gun!"

Carl stood and told his mother out right, "I'm not gonna play with it, Mom. It's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I wanna look for Sophia. I wanna defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun."

"Shane's the best instructor I know. I've seen him teach kids younger than Carl." Lori stared at her husband a moment before going over to her son and taking his chin in her hand. She told him that he would take it seriously and he would behave responsibly. If she heard from anyone in the camp that he wasn't living up to his parent's expectations, but the silent threat was left hanging as Rick told her the Carl wouldn't let them down.

When the matter was settled, everyone finally set about going with Rick and Shane to gun practice but Annie stayed behind. Andrea had told her she ought to come and Annie joked that she needed it more than her, considering she'd nearly killed Daryl. The blonde woman grimaced and nodded, knowing Annie was right, joined the others while Annie stood there, looking at Rick. He looked like he wanted to come over and speak to her but she walked away as he started to so. Surprisingly, she saw Carol go with the group. Hershel's people were as well so at least they weren't lying about having his blessing. Even Lori went with them, to keep an eye on Carl more than anything. Glenn stayed behind, claiming he had to clean spark plugs with Dale, but with the way he'd been acting, she didn't believe it for a second. But she left it alone, deciding to go out to the fields and told Glenn and Dale just that.

"You sure that's the best idea?" Glenn asked, sounding slightly panicked.

"I'll be fine. I just need a few minutes," she answered, raising the walkie talkie. Glenn nodded and confirmed that she was just going up the road to the fields once more. Slightly annoyed, she snapped, "Yes, Dad, the fields." Scoffing, she shook her head and wished Dale luck with Glenn before taking off. She didn't know what Glenn's problem was but he needed to sort himself out.

"I'll keep watch from the RV roof, just in case," Dale called out to her.

Annie waved a hand over her shoulder. She closed the metal gate to Hershel's property and walked up the road, turning the walkie in her hand. She and Rick had been busy, very busy, the past few weeks. They hadn't turned the radio on at dawn for a long time. But she finally had a moment where almost the entire camp was gone so she could get away without being bothered. She had a chance to actually turn the radio on and just talk. Annie looked back and just made out the figures on the roof of the RV. Climbing up onto the wooden fence, Annie stared out at the vast blue sky as she switch the radio on. It wasn't dawn though, which had been the promise, so she figured Morgan's was off but maybe, just maybe it wasn't.

"Morgan, it's Annie," she said, speaking through the crackle of static. Overlooking the vast fields, she waited another moment before sighing. "I don't know if you can hear me. I don't even know if I'm in range for this damn thing to work but, if you're there, please, please, answer me." She waited a beat. Nothing. Closing her eyes, she tugged at her hair and sighed. "Morgan, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so...lost. Rick is..." Annie looked behind her a moment, just to make sure she was really alone. Ducking her head down, she clicked the walkie back on. "I think I love him, Morgan. I don't know when or how it happened. Maybe it was when we got trapped in that damn tank, maybe it was at the quarry, or at the CDC, I don't know, but I just know how I feel. And it scares me. It scares me so much."

She paused, waiting for a response. Again, like always, nothing came.

"God damn it, Morgan, answer me!" she screamed and sobbed, taking in shaky breaths as she looked at the ground. "I need you, Morgan. I need you to tell me what to do because I don't know what to do anymore." Annie wiped her eyes and sighed heavily. "Rick and I, his people, we're staying at this farm house. You need to get to the highway, it's a big traffic snarl but you need to get to there." She didn't give him direct directions to the farm. Even if Morgan couldn't hear her, that didn't mean someone else wasn't listening. She couldn't put the others at risk. "I don't know how the owners'll feel about more strangers on his land, but I need you with me. Do you hear me, Morgan?" she asked seriously. "I need you. So, please, answer me. Please..."

Perhaps it was a lost cause, still trying to make contact with Morgan. Hell, she didn't even know if she was in range for it to work. Plastic piece of crap, she mentally cursed as she shoved it roughly back into her pack. Not to mention the damn thing only had one battery. Perhaps it was a mistake to try but she needed to do something. Annie knew she couldn't keep avoiding Rick, couldn't keep going on perimeter searches just to avoid everyone. Being a loner was never safe, not even at the farm, and it needed to stop. What she really needed, more than anything, was someone to talk to. Rick had been that person but, after last night, after feeling his touch and seeing the look in his eyes, she wasn't so sure that was a good idea anymore. She needed to talk to Morgan, even if he never answered. She need her brother even more. There was just so much she had to get off her chest. At least she had finally admitted the truth aloud, even if her first friend since the world ended probably hadn't heard her.

Annie Munroe loved Rick Grimes and, it seemed, nothing was going to change that fact. Not even his wife.

--------------------

Later on, Annie sat around the campfire with everyone. Shane stood off from the others, eating on his own, while Carol cooked eggs. Andrea was sharpening her knife and Annie sat near her, pushing her food listlessly around her plate. Andrea had come back from the gun training and a search for Sophia with a smile. She'd assured Annie that the incident with Daryl would never happened again, praising Shane's training. Annie wasn't so sure she'd ever be singing Shane's praises. She couldn't shake the feeling in her gut that told her to keep Shane at arm's length. Daryl was up and moving again, though he was taking it easy, and said he was done with horses for the rest of his life. Much to her surprise, T-Dog was sitting with him in companionable silence. Glenn was away from the group as well, going back and forth between staring at the house and at Dale. Across the fire, she smiled at Carl, nodding him to keep eating and looked at Rick. His gaze was pensive, fixed on the flames Carol was cooking on. Lori kissed his temple and Annie looked back at her plate, locking her jaw and trying to ignore the twist in her stomach.

"Um, guys?" Everyone glanced at Glenn, who was shifting nervously before them, but no one was really paying attention except for Dale, Shane, Annie and Rick. The others were more concerned with their own tasks, whatever they were. "So...the barn's full of walkers," he announced sullenly. Now he had everyone's attention. Everyone stopped eating and stared at him, waiting for him to laugh or something. But he never did. Immediately, the entire camp emptied and rushed to the barn. They all stood back, however, as Shane took the lead, peaking inside through a crack in the door. All of them heard the loud snarl as Shane backed off, and that was all the confirmation they needed.

"You cannot tell me you're all right with this," Shane growled, stomping back to Rick and the others.

"No, I'm not," Rick answered. "But we're guests here," he reminded firmly reminded his people. "This isn't our land!"

"This is our lives, man!" Shane argued. Lori scolded him, telling him to lower his voice.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug!" Andrea argued.

"Would you guys keep your voices down?" Annie snapped in a hushed tone. "Noise attracts them, remember?" Rick nodded absentmindedly, but no one else seemed to be listening to her.

"It ain't right. Not remotely," T-Dog stated.

"We either gotta go in there – we gotta make things right – or we just gotta go," Shane advised. "Now we talked about Fort Benning for a long time—" Rick vehemently told him that they couldn't go. "Why?!"

"'Cause my daughter's still out there," Carol told him obviously. Shane scoffed a little and put his hands to his face, sighing at her as he told her that it was time for them to just start considering the other possibilities.

"Shane!" Rick warned. "We're not leaving Sophia behind!"

"We're close to finding this girl! I just found her damn doll a few days ago!" Daryl told him.

"You found a doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll!"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

"Hey, look, I'm just saying what needs to be said here! You get a good lead, it's in the first forty-eight hours, after that you don't got – let me tell you something else, man! If she was alive out there, saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife, geek ears around your neck, she would've run in the other direction, man!"

"Shut up!" Daryl growled, charging at the other man.

"Just stop!" Rick shouted, pushing the two men apart as they threw threats at one another. "Just stop! Stop!" he shouted, pushing at them as the other men pulled at them. "Back off!" Glenn and Dale got involved, even Andrea and Lori, trying to keep the two men apart. But both wouldn't back down and both were getting louder. Everyone was.

"Lower your voices, damn it!" Annie warned, easing Carl behind her and backing him away from the barn. The others might have been distracted momentarily but she wasn't. Walkers were in the barn. They were sleeping and living near walkers. Walkers that could break out, come into their camp, and kill everyone. Rick yelled for his partner to back off.

"Keep your hands off me," Shane warned, pointing at Lori's face.

"Now just let me just talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out," Rick reasoned.

"What are you gonna figure out?" Shane roared, charging back to his parter.

Annie ran up, pushing him away from Rick, and shouted, "That's enough! You stop, right now!"

"Or else what?" he spat at her. Annie was tempted to reach for her knife, but Rick put his hand on her arm. He nodded to her, a silent command to let him handle things, that he had everything under control. Snatching her arm away, she wandered back towards the barn, keeping a hand on her knife and tapping her foot anxiously.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land!"

Dale walked up to Rick and told him, "Hershel says those things in there are people. Sick people. His wife, his-his-his stepson!"

"You knew?" Rick questioned incredulously. Dale nodded and admitted he found out yesterday and talked to Hershel.

"And you waited the night?" Shane accused angrily.

"I thought we could survive one more night! We did!" Shane scoffed and shook his head at the elderly man, fed up. "I was waiting till this morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy, Rick! If Hershel thinks those things are alive—!" Shane and Rick started to shout at one another.

"Both of you just shut up!" Annie shouted at them, eyes on the barn. The doors on the barn started to clang loudly on the chains and padlock against the pressure of the walkers pushing on them. The walkers knew food was close and that door wasn't going to hold. Not forever.

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