1st January 1997

Preeti dashed to the balcony to collect the dried clothes. She was ready before Shubham today. It was the time in Mumbai where nights and early mornings were turning cold. In Ahmedabad, she would have wrapped herself with woolen sweaters, shawls and mufflers. Here, she found a shawl to be sufficient.

Shubham joined her on the balcony, with a towel around his neck. When he woke up, Preeti was in the bathroom and he came here searching for her after freshening up. A warm smile took place on his lips after seeing her glowing face.

"Good morning!!" Preeti chirped, squeezing the clothes in her arms.

Shubham's smile widened, taking a step closer to her, he put her wet hairlocks behind her ear. She was looking beautiful with those partially wet hair dripping on the shawl she had taken.

"Happy Birthday!!" He voiced. "Tumhara janamdin aur yeh naya saal tumhare liye dher saari khushiyaan lekar aaye."

"Thank you," Preeti replied in exhilaration, trying to extend her arms to hug him, but then frowning at the bunch of fabric she was carrying, and making a small face.

Shubham giggled looking at her state and himself engulfed her in his arms, including the clothes. He chuckled at the fact that his hands could surround her perfectly even after a barrier between them. Something that would be unchanged even when Preeti would be carrying their baby inside her.

Their baby...

Living in the society where one is expected to expand their generation soon after the marriage, having seen his friends becoming fathers within one year of their marriage and with constant pestering of his mother to show her her 'pote ka muh', it wasn't easy for Shubham to not think about it at all. And he knew it wasn't easy for Preeti as well to avoid all the questioning gazes.

But he had kept things slow paced, where the love between them as well as the physical closeness grew slowly... gradually...

And amidst the process of realizing the difference between the husband's duties and wanting to become a lovable and supportive partner for Preeti, he had kept his wish of becoming a father hidden in the corner of his heart.

As he tried to gauge Preeti's opinion on this, not really having the courage to ask her directly. To be honest, he was afraid of her reply. He could figure that she was fascinated by her dream of becoming a hairstylist and was way too happy with her parlour course. So he let things happen as before, at their own pace.

"Aapko bhi naye saal ki shubhkaamnayein Shubham ji..."

Shubham was brought out of his reverie by Preeti's wish and they parted. His gaze turned adoring as she smiled. Those sharp features of her face, her long hair now reaching to her waist, her smooth skin without a blemish and her soft pink lips... everything just added to her sublime beauty. It wasn't that he hadn't found her beautiful before this. But there was something he had seen in her lately, and it was her sparkling eyes. She has been carrying a gleam in her eyes lately.

Maybe that's how a person appears to others who is happy inside out. It was the indication that Preeti was happy inside out. The way she had more confidence in her walk, in the way she spoke, the way she started taking his 'economics' seriously and would ask questions on finance and investments, the way she kept on doing skin and hair experiments on Tanvi and him, which by the way he absolutely loved. Everything pointed out that his wife was indeed happy with her life.

"Toh? Kya chahiye tumhe?" He asked while raising his brows.

"Kyon? Hamare anniversary ki tarah iss baar koi envelope ready nahi hai?" Preeti teased him.

Shubham chuckled, he had something in mind but he still wanted to know from Preeti. It's better to buy something as per her choice than buying it himself and expecting her to like it.

"Batao na Preeti..."

"Mujhe kuchh nahi chahiye Shubhamji... mere liye iss course mein admission hi bahot bada gift hai... mai isi mein bahot khush hu..."

Shubham frowned on her response. Is she being complacent?

"Abhi hamara mission khatm nahi hua hai, Preeti," he said, keeping his brows narrowed, "yeh toh sirf pehla padaav tha. Abhi bahot se badlaav baki hai."

"Matlab?"

"Preeti, yeh mat bhoolna ki maa ne sirf course ke liye ha kaha hai... agar tumhe aage jakar koi kaam karna hai, apna parlour shuru karna hai... toh uss waqt cheezein iss se bhi jyada mushkil hogi."

Preeti sighed, she was worried as if Shubham was going to reveal something big. "Shubhamji, aap hai na mere sath?" Shubham nodded. "Toh bass, mujhe kisi baat ki koi chinta nahi hai."

This time Shubham almost laughed. He had forgotten that he was married to the smartest girl of Ahmedabad. His protectiveness towards her came naturally being her husband, but most of the time Preeti needed only his moral support. She was quite capable of dealing with the difficulties that came her way.

"Mai... half-day off lene ki koshish karta hu..." Shubham said.

"Offo Shubhamji... mai jaanti hu aapke 2-2 collegues chhutti par hai... aur waise bhi... mai apna class nahi miss karnewali..." Preeti shrugged dramatically, giving a cornered glance at Shubham.

The two burst into laughter and Shubham assured that he would come home on time, finally leaving to have a quick bath.

A horn caught Preeti's attention as she collected the last few clothes and her eyes wandered on the main gate, noticing a couple on a bike.

"Yeh Naina aur Sameer hai?" she frowned, questioning herself. She didn't expect to see them on a bike, that too in the morning.

She further saw Naina getting down from the bike to open the gate for Sameer. It didn't go unnoticed by her that Naina was seated with her legs on either side. It took the exact moment for Naina to look up while closing the gate, and she jumped on her heels seeing Preeti right there in the balcony.

The two sisters waved each other merrily, "Preetiiiii!!!" Naina almost hollered, "mai upar aa rahi hu..."

―and she ran, leaving a surprised Sameer... no, shocked Sameer behind who hadn't even parked the bike yet. The only thing he could do was shake his head unbelievably and follow Naina.

While Naina pushed the grills of the lift hard and dashed to the flat number 302 of the C wing, Preeti had literally thrown the clothes on their bed and sprinted to open the door.

"Happy Birthdaaayyyyy!!!" Naina screamed, hugging Preeti tight right after.

"tum jiyo hazaro saal, yeh meri hai aarzoo..." she sang as they parted, earning a grimace from Preeti.

"Chhiii... mujhe itna buddha nahi hona..." Preeti remarked, and both laughed. "achchha ab darwaze par hi khadi rahegi ya andar bhi aayegi... chal..."

"O salisaahiba!!!" The two turned to spot Sameer coming from the staircase, "mai bhi aau? ya yahin se wapas chala jaau?" he kept his hands on his waist, panting slightly.

"Tch... Jijaji... aaiye na..." Preeti voiced, catching Naina's arm and taking her inside the house.

"Happy Birthday Preeti," Sameer wished her as they entered the dining area, receiving a sweet 'thank you' from her.

"Aur yeh tumhare liye," he showed her three magazines and forwarded them to her.

Squealing in happiness like a little girl, Preeti accepted it gleefully. Two of them were the fashion magazines, which she perceived were not her regular ones. One of them was the first ever edition of the recently launched magazine Elle, while the second one was the January Edition of Verve, the lifestyle magazine that covers the latest fashion trends.

She had heard about them in her class, dreaming of having them in her collection some day. A glance at the corner of their covers told her they were expensive, but a glance back at her sister and jijaji told her how elated they were to gift it to her.

The third one was a Hindi magazine which she saw for the first time, putting her to think why it was given to her along with two fashion magazines.

Wait!! There was only one possibility of this magazine being here...

"Naina!!! Isme teri kahani aayi hai?" Her eyes twinkled, while her voice mirrored equal excitement.

Naina smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded, welcoming Preeti in her arms for a bone-crushing hug. A while ago, Sameer was equally thrilled while purchasing two copies of the magazines, which was started by the newspaper she was working with. He had flipped the pages in exhilaration and pulled her for a hug after seeing her short story, yes, in front of a decent crowd around the stall.

She could very well understand the glitter in his eyes, they were after all seeing Naina's name in the magazine after long.

Shubham sauntered in the living room, smiling at Sameer and offering him to sit while Preeti and Naina were busy in an animated discussion. He engaged himself in a casual conversation with Sameer but somehow didn't miss to hear some words here and there from Preeti's chatter. Preeti was praising Naina for her dress... uh, the coordinated set of denim she was wearing.

Oh, Sameer too had worn almost a similar set... he just realized.

Nirmalaji joined them soon and Preeti touched her feet to seek blessings. She welcomed Naina and Sameer, though with a heavy heart, and directed herself to the poojaghar, not before passing a weird look at Naina's dress.

Naina-Preeti too joined Sameer-Shubham at the dining table, as Preeti was strictly warned by Tanvi to not enter the kitchen. Today, she had taken the responsibility of the breakfast singlehandedly.

Preeti showed the magazines to Shubham with zeal, showing the one with Naina's story first. Shubham observed that it was indeed a thoughtful gift by Naina and Sameer, which could help Preeti in her new learnings. He had planned to gift her a new saree, just as every normal husband would do, however, the magazines in his hand changed his mind.

He felt the need to break the pattern. Again....

Tanvi walked in with a tray in her hand, placing it on the dining table nervously. Preeti and Shubham were happy and curious at the same time as Tanvi was cooking something all alone, without anyone's help. Their smiles dwindled when they saw the food item in the dishes, and so did Naina-Sameer's; rather the smiles turned to frowns.

"Tanvi!!" Shubham enunciated, "yeh... subah-subah nashte mein vada paav kaun khata hai?"

Tanvi scratched the back of her neck, speaking hesitantly, "woh bhaiya... maine bataya tha na, mai apni ek saheli se milne jaa rahi hu... Aditi... usse vada paav bahot pasand hai... toh socha wahi bana lu..."

"Lekin Tanvi, aaj Preeti ka janamdin hai na... tumhe uske pasand ka kuchh banana chahiye tha..."

"Ummm.... Koi baat nahi na Shubhamji..." Preeti interrupted the soon-to-be-happening Tanvi's class by Shubham in front of Naina-Sameer, "mujhe vada paav bhi bahot pasand hai. Tanvi, mai jaanti hu tumne bahot achchhe banaye honge."

Meanwhile, Naina and Sameer exchanged gazes upon Tanvi's statement. They talked in their eye-language, especially Naina, followed by Sameer's nod, as if he understood her point.

When Naina had informed Sameer about the possible connection between Tanvi and Aditya, Sameer didn't believe in it. He believed that Aditya would have shared it with him. But when Naina explained that them being connected to Preeti's family must be the reason behind Aditya hiding it from him, he found it as a valid point. Naina also shared the anecdotes whenever she found Tanvi and Aditya exchanging gazes and gestures, and then the Maheshwari's started observing the two more cautiously.

Today, they found one more thread, when Tanvi prepared 'vada pav' by herself for her friend 'Aditi'. Everyone who knows Aditya knew how much he loved vada paav.

Naina coughed as she tried to stifle a giggle and Sameer nudged her, trying to hide his grin too. It left Preeti, Shubham and Tanvi bewildered, but they couldn't help it.

There was surely a love story blossoming in the society.

***

It was 9:59am and Rakesh was standing in front of the State Central Library, Andheri East, Mumbai. It was the library he has been going to for months now. First as a reader, then as almost a secret helper and then as a part-time employee. Today was a special day, though. It wasn't just the first day of the year 1997, it was also the first day of him joining as the full time employee in the library.

He stepped in the building of the library, observing its British architecture again. Though he had seen the building thoroughly innumerable times now, he still felt it new. He questioned himself why he was nervous today while the last time he had visited this building was just two days before, on Monday. He questioned himself what difference would it really make while he would be sitting on the same chair, on the same desk, in the same area.

What difference would there be anyway?

Nonetheless, he was nervous.... the kind of nervous he was when he had joined Pragati Vidya Ka Mandir as a Librarian.

He walked in to go to his place and saw his two seniors from the Head Management, Mr. Pradhan and Mr. Desai, accompanied by the staff on duty right now, standing in a row. His feet lowered their speed to reach the people, who he didn't expect to be waiting for him.

"Aaiye Rakesh sahab," Mr. Pradhan moved forward to welcome Rakesh, with a small bouquet in his hand. He welcomed him with a genuine smile, extending the bouquet as he bent slightly. "Library mein aapke pehle din ki bahot bahot badhai."

"Dhanyawaad Sir," Rakesh expressed his gratitude while accepting it and then shaking his hand.

He was then congratulated by Mr. Desai and the other staff. Having seen the true colors of many people in his life, who generally hid their reality behind a mask, Rakesh could observe that the five people he was surrounded with here, were genuinely happy for him. There were no fake smiles or a facade of formality.

"Aap mere liye apna keemti samay nikaal kar aaye, mere liye yahi bahot hai." Rakesh said, looking at his seniors and then at the staff. Even though it was a small gesture by his colleagues, it made him emotional.

"Chaliye... aapko aapka desk dikhate hai..." Mr. Desai said, indicating Rakesh to follow him.

Rakesh was perplexed when they crossed his usual desk at the ground floor and took him to the first floor. This area had departments like Arts, culture, History, literature and a dedicated area for students for studying.

In the corner he saw a newly-made cabin, which had two glass partitions on two sides, including a glass-door. And Rakesh's heart skipped a beat. If it was what he was thinking, then he was NOT AT ALL prepared for that.

"Aaiye," came a voice which he couldn't recognize whose it was. He just followed the people walking towards the cabin blindly.

"Yeh aapka naya cabin hai Rakesh Sahab... aaiye... baithiye..." It was Mr. Pradhan again, who clasped Rakesh's wrist and walked him inside, crossing the big wooden table and making him sit on the chair.

"Aur yeh aapki nameplate..." a triangular piece of steel was kept on the table and Rakesh looked ahead.

The people were clapping for him, for taking the new position today in the library. He was congratulated by them again, they expressed their happiness for working with him, how the junior librarians were excited to learn more from him and how the management were looking forward to the improvements suggested by him.

Rakesh was flabbergasted all this while. He could hear every bit of what they were saying, but still he was lost in another world. He was thanking everyone every possible way, but still he thought of himself as undeserving for all this. He never knew when everyone stopped speaking, he never knew when he thanked them again, he never knew when they all left the place, leaving him in his cabin.

His cabin... his personal cabin...

He shifted on his chair and he realized it has rolling wheels, something he had seen only in big offices and also in the cabins of Mr. Pradhan and Mr. Desai. On his left corner, was a three storeyed open wooden rack, where he could keep his registers and other work related notebooks.

On his table, there was a pen-stand with multiple pens, pencils, whiteners, highlighters and what not. It had a glass filled with water and a fully bloomed pink rose kept in it. His main work register was kept right there, along with today's newspapers in Hindi, Marathi and English, and two other magazines.

His gaze finally shifted on his nameplate. He picked it up with a small smile on his lips. Flipping it to read both its sides, he sighed heavily as he couldn't read it properly.

His eyes were brimmed to the edge... with tears.

'श्री. राकेश अग्रवाल'

'वरिष्ठ पर्यवेक्षक'

His nameplate read. His first nameplate.

There was a nameplate that he had made for himself once but couldn't take its place on his table in the school, rather it had taken place in a dustbin.

Today, after seven years, he finally got his nameplate, not made by himself to boast... but given by his employers because he had earned it.

Today, when he looked at his colleagues, he only found respect... in everyone's eyes. Something that was missing in his school tenure.

He leaned back on the chair, experiencing its spring underneath and the soft cushion on its seat.

He put himself into retrospection and thought about why the respect part was missing in the school. And why he got it at the library here in Mumbai. What was the difference?

Was it in the institutions? Was it because of the people around? Was it in his working ethics?

No... when he dived more into his thoughts, he realized the difference wasn't outside... it was inside him... within him...

It was the change of his perspective... his way of looking at the world, at people around, at his children and at himself.

He changed his perspective... he changed the way he behaved with people  and this cruel world turned nicer for him... the people around him showed him respect... genuinely... His children started loving him more... from their heart.

It was just a change within himself...

***

Back at home at night, Rakesh took a box of sweets for Sameer and Naina, informing them that he had gotten a personal cabin and a nameplate. He was overwhelmed while stating it, he choked at times while speaking, but was genuinely happy from the bottom of his heart.

The state of his inner being was at peace.

Naina too had happy tears in her eyes. She hugged him, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. It was a warm hug, where they both washed out the ugly memories of the nameplate episode that happened in the past and celebrated the beginning of his new journey.

Sameer couldn't resist himself from being a part of this affectionate exchange of emotions and wrapped himself behind Naina, getting Papa partially in the hug.

In C302, Shubham and Preeti stood face to face in their bedroom. Preeti had no idea why she was made to stand and wait. When Shubham brought a gift-wrapped box from his back, she smiled, finally anticipating her gift. She guessed it must be a saree of course looking at the box. Maybe a silk one, or her husband might surprise her by getting a designer printed saree this time.

Her mouth formed a big O as she gasped air. She stood unmoved for a while, forgetting that Shubham was waiting for her to accept it or make any comment on it or simply say a thank you.

"Yeh... s-suit?" the incoherent words left her mouth, still under the influence of the shock.

"Tumhare liye..." Shubham mumbled, wondering why he was anxious about it.

Preeti's hands finally moved forward, stroking the fabric of the suit. Shubham helped it by opening it for her. It was an olive green colored suit with Rajasthani baatik print on it. It was a set of salwar, kurta and dupatta of the same pattern and Preeti absolutely loved it.

"Pasand aaya?" Shubham asked the obvious, though he could read it from Preeti's eyes.

"Bahooootttt...." Preeti jumped on her heels. "Thank you Shubham jiii..." and she almost jumped on him, wrapping her arms around him.

Given their height difference, when Shubham held her from her waist, she got automatically lifted from the floor to complete the hug. Shubham engulfed her more in his arms, absorbing her content and gratified being.

"Kabhi bahar pehen ke jaana ise," Shubham said after he put her down, "phir kabhi tumhari pasand ke suits bhi kharid lena..."

"Lekin... mummyji ko pasand aayega? Shubhamji, badlaav laana hai, lekin kisi ka dil dukhakar nahi..."

Shubham heaved a proud sigh on her statement. He had got the purest soul in his life. "Tum ho na mere sath?"

Preeti smiled and nodded.

"Toh bass, mujhe kisi baat ki chinta karne ki zaroorat nahi hai... Maa ko mai mana lunga..." he said, pulling her towards him and putting a lovable kiss on her forehead.

"Happy Birthday," was the last words by him before his kisses travelled to more fascinating places on her face.

****

Makarsankranti 1997

The evening sky was brighter with numerous kites flying high. The festival of 'Uttarayan' welcomed the joy and cheerfulness amongst the Sea Queen Society members, as all the young crowd was gathered on the terraces of their respective wings, enjoying the 'pech' between their kites.

Naina looked up from the balcony, her eyes twinkling in happiness. During the last year Uttarayan, she had missed being in Ahmedabad, she had missed being with the joint family. She had also commented that the festive vibes here in Mumbai didn't match the humongous Kite festival in Ahmedabad. But soon she realized that every city comes with its own character, its own culture and vibes. Just like the Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations in Mumbai cannot be beaten by any other city.

"Sameer aa gaya kya?" She asked Rakesh Papa, who was accompanying her in watching the kites.

"Haan, andar kamre mein hai," came the reply from Rakesh.

After freshening up, as she had just returned from the office, Naina sauntered into the bedroom. She stopped at the doorstep, seeing Sameer speaking to someone on the phone.

"Lekin aapne hi kaha tha na mera bhi baaki artists jaise ek mahine baad payment hoga... ab usse jyada time ho chuka hai..." Sameer said while rubbing his temples. He was sitting on the cane stool near the window.

Naina stood alert listening to Sameer's tone, he looked frustrated.

"Sir aap log jab hame dates aur timing dete hai, toh hum aa jaate hai na kaam karne... toh aap time pe payments kyu nahi kar sakte?"

Naina could see how hard Sameer was trying not to lose his control over the call. And though his voice was low, she knew he was raging from inside.

"Misunderstanding? 15 din se mai ummeed lekar baitha hu ki shayad iss baar jaldi paise milenge... aur aaj aap keh rahe hai it was a misunderstanding?" Shutting his eyes and heaving a sigh, Sameer controlled his tone again, "okay sir..." he whispered and disconnected the phone.

Naina dragged another stool to sit beside him. Clasping his free hand in hers, she stayed quiet. If she guessed it correctly, then this was Sameer's second call to the production house of his Zee TV show. While he was prepared for the 90-days payment cycle, a phone call with this person after the telecast had raised his hopes. And now he has been pursuing them for his payment since last week.

"Huh... Keh rahe the woh mujhe koi aur samajh baithhe..." Sameer opened up after a while, keeping his gaze on the floor. "Apni ek pehchan banana kitna mushkil hai na yahan?"

When last time Sameer sat disheartened in the same way after the call, Naina had consoled him saying 'koi baat nahi Sameer... aa jayenge'. But she couldn't at this moment.

She rubbed his knuckles with her soft palms, conveying with the gesture that she understands his situation.

"Inn paanch mahino mein char shows kar liye Naina... lekin payment ab tak ek ka bhi nahi mila..." Sameer finally looked at her. His dejected gaze met her concerned one and Naina's hold on his hand tightened.

Her chest felt heavy as she couldn't sustain Sameer's painful gaze. She scooted closer to him and by wrapping her arms around his neck sideways, she rocked them both lovingly, providing her warmth to him.

A small smile took place on Sameer's lips as he rested his head on hers. He held her hand and voiced, "papa ne nashta tayyar rakha hai. Tum nashta kar lo, phir clinic chalte hai, thik hai?"

Finding the normalcy in his voice, Naina smiled back at him and only nodded.

The wait outside the cabin of the gynecologist was getting difficult for Sameer as he kept shaking his legs nervously, while Naina was handed a pregnancy test kit and sent to a different room to collect urine and blood samples.

It had been a week past Naina's due date of her periods and the Maheshwari couple had panicked again. Yesterday, they finally decided to consult a gynecologist and not spend the days worrying about the periods like last time.

Sameer rested his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his palms. If anybody would ask him then he'd surely deny it by putting a smile, but he was scared from inside.... scared about the result of the tests.

The fact that he was scared of it was making him feel embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Any normal husband would have happily celebrated his wife's missed period, but it couldn't be the case with him.

A part of his brain was trying to distract him, stating facts and logics of how it's not possible. But a sexually active couple always needs to be cautious about the pregnancy, no matter the precautions they have taken.

An awkward chuckle left his mouth as some flashes of the past crossed his mind, when he would reply to Naina's 'Sameer ke bachche' with his 'woh toh shadi ke baad honge' comment. He always wanted kids... they always wanted kids...

Though whenever they had a discussion about 'when', they both found it difficult to answer.

For the first time, a debate was happening within his emotions and practicality. Thinking practical was Naina's department, but this time Sameer couldn't help but think about the practical aspects of having a child in this situation.

That was the reason he was pursuing the production houses for the payment. That was the reason why he was pursuing some casting coordinators to give him work. That was the reason he was trying to get some commercials.

They lacked the money that's needed to raise a kid...

'he' lacked the money to take care of and fulfill all the wishes of Naina who would be bearing a life inside her...

Shoving his hands in the pockets, Sameer started pacing in the small space. A part of him wanted to forget all his struggle, and simply lift and twirl Naina in happiness if she was really pregnant. While the other part of him was asking for more time to his unborn child, apologizing for all the dilemma he was going through.

"Mr. Maheshwari? Aapko bula rahe hai."

A sister's voice brought Sameer back to the present and he entered the cabin as if he was facing a new test of his life.

As Sameer and Naina's gazes met each other's, their awkward and concerned stances changed to relaxed ones. It wasn't for that they found comfort, but rather because they wanted the other one to be calm, stating through their body language that everything is fine.

Despite all the efforts, when Sameer glanced at Naina's folded arm, where she'd pressed a cotton on her vein, a drop of sweat rolled down from his temple. He instinctively walked towards her, holding her arm for no reason, and pulled a chair for her to sit.

Naina was timid all this while too. She was surprised when she was handed a white strip and the nurse told her this can be done at home too. That was the home test kit which can confirm the pregnancy within a few minutes.

"Primary test result toh negative aaya hai... toh lagta toh nahi ki aap pregnant hai," the gynecologist, Dr. Ragini informed, looking at Naina. "Lekin hum phir bhi blood tests se confirm kar sakte hai."

Sameer and Naina looked at one another and pasted a little smile on their lips, trying to read through their partner's eyes whether the smile was genuine or not.

"Lekin... baat kuchh aur hai..."

Dr. Ragini's concerned voice brought the couple's attention back to her and they realized she was speaking in a daze, thinking about something.

She asked Naina about her daily routine, when she wakes up, when she sleeps, what she eats in a day, what all work she does etc. and also checked her weight. Naina too then shared her first day woes, something she had been facing for quite a lot months now.

"Aise nahi chalega Mrs. Maheshwari..." Dr. Ragini sighed as she shook her head, "aapko aapki tabiyat ka dhyan rakhna padega."

According to Dr. Ragini's diagnosis, Naina's hectic work schedule and the over exhaustion caused due to it might be one of the reasons for her missed period, while the hormonal imbalance behind her painful first days. She advised Naina to sleep well enough upto 7-8 hours, do Suryanamaskar as part of the exercise, to eat good food and add lots of salads and fruits in her diet.

Sameer looked down and rubbed his hands on one another. He was already paying attention to some of these aspects of Naina's health, but somewhere he knew that it wasn't working for her as it should. Though he kept a note of everything mentally.

The couple left for the reception to clear the bill after everything was discussed. Naina thought of asking if the test kit can be purchased for personal use, so that if things repeat next month too, she has it handy. On the other hand, Sameer was looking for the opportunity to ask his doubts to the doctor.

"Naina tum..."

"Sameer tum..."

They both voiced simultaneously. Sameer spoke first, "tum payment kar do, mai do minutes mein aata hu."

"Aapse ek baat puchhni thi," after seeking permission from Dr. Ragini, Sameer sat on the chair and asked.

"Please, puchhiye na?" Dr. Ragini smiled.

"Hamein neend mein jo bhi sapne dikhte hai... kya uska hamari asal zindagi mein koi matlab hota hai?"

Dr. Ragini frowned at the vagueness of Sameer's question. "Ji? mai samjhi nahi."

Sameer explained to her about the nightmares Naina often saw in the past couple of months, about Naina's condition after she wakes up and how it has been bothering her a lot. He also expressed he has a gut feeling about her dreams having some kind of meaning, which they both are unable to deduce.

Dr. Ragini leaned back on her chair and entwined her fingers. "Waise dekha jaye toh neend mein dikhnewale sapne beete hue 24 ghanto ka reflection hi hote hai... aap dinbhar kya soch rahe ho, aap kis paristhiti se gujar rahe ho, yeh bhi maayne rakhta hai... isiliye aaj psychologists ke liye 'dream interpretation' ek important part bann chuka hai..." she paused before continuing, "Naina ka case shayad wahi hai..."

"Lekin Naina ko jo sapna baar baar dikh raha hai, uska kya matlab hoga?"

"Mr. Maheshwari... Naina ko yeh sapna baar baar dikhna yahi batata hai ki woh kisi baat ko lekar bahot jyada stressed hai... aur haan, 'mental stress' bhi periods delay hone ki ek wajah hai..."

Sameer narrowed his brows. Yes, Naina was stressed about their financial conditions, but they had talked about it the night before their anniversary. And her nightmares didn't really stop after that.

"Lekin Doctor, kya sirf yahi ek wajah hai? Kyunki mujhe lagta hai iske picche kuchh aur bhi hai..."

Dr. Ragini nodded, "ji, aap sahi keh rahe hai... iss sapne ke mutabik Naina kisi baat se door bhag rahi hai... uske zindagi ki koi aisi sachchai jisse woh mann hi mann mein jaanti toh hai... lekin uska saamna nahi karna chahti..."

The statement took Sameer aback. What the doctor was implying was deep and certainly unnerving. "Toh... iska koi solution?"

"Usse baat kijiye... Jo baat Naina ko sata rahi hai woh uske subconscious mind mein dabi hai... usse bahar laana zaroori hai."

Sameer nodded in agreement. The flashes of Naina waking up scared, her face laden with sweat, the way she jerked in sleep at times and he kissed her forehead to soothe her while pulling her to him, the times when he caught her thinking deeply about it ―all of it appeared in front of his eyes. He heaved a sigh and thanked the doctor.

"Mr. Maheshwari?" Dr. Ragini called for Sameer's attention when he was at the door. "Agar aap dono abhi conceive karna chahte bhi hai, toh Naina uske liye physically ready nahi hai... please take care of her..."

Sameer's hand at the door handle fell defeatedly, he again only shook his head and by placing a tight smile, exited the cabin.

He knew what he should talk to Naina.

At night, when Naina returned to the bedroom, Sameer was waiting for her near the window. He released his folded hands turning to her.

He took her hand in his, pulling her a little closer to him. Rubbing his thumb on her cheek gently, he tried to ease her.

As the doctor said, all her fatigue, all her stress was clearly visible on her face. She had some breakouts on her cheeks, the spots of pimples― telling the world how she lacked sleep and water, her dry lips and most prominently her lacklustre eyes.

Her features signified she wasn't happy in her own space. He could finally differentiate the kind of happiness her eyes, her smile, her soul emitted.

She was happy for him... but not for herself...

The state of her inner being was 'internal conflict'.

The realization became overbearing for him, it made him feel suffocated.

And taking a deep breath, he finally broke the silence, "Naina, kya tum sach mein CA karna chahti ho?"

**********

I don't know why am I posting updates in midnights. Sorry for that. Next ones should be at a decent time.

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