Title: Sakura Eyes

Author: naeomiiii

Reviewer: GryffindorsLoneWolf

Summary: 3/5

I think it's pretty good, except with a few grammatical things that I found off.

The tenses of your verbs switch from the first to the second. You start off in the past tense and then switch to present.

The first sentence sounded a bit weird to me until I noticed you used the word 'used' twice. I think changing the second to something different would fix it. Here's my suggestion:

**When I was a child, I used to think the monsters Mom told me about were scary.**

's means you're adding an -is to the word, unless you're trying to show possession of something. As in there's → there is. It's a contraction.

You say the solution is an eighteen year old but the noun referring to her doesn't distinguish her as a human, more like an object. Suggestion for this sentence:

**An evil king is turning innocent people into demons, while villages are dying from a lack of resources. The only person who can solve this is an eighteen year old girl who doesn't even know her real identity yet.**

Also, you switch from first person POV to third person POV within just your summary.

Grammar: 4/5

I think your grammar's pretty on point throughout the story. But the only thing I noticed was the way you started the first chapter. It sounds like you're starting with third person POV and then switch to first person for the rest of the story. I'd suggest writing that first part to fit with the rest.

Also, instead of using ellipses to show hesitation, I'd suggest using dashes. Ellipses can get a bit annoying to see after a while, because they're usually used to show restrained anger (from my experience), or showing a little bit of hesitation.

Character Building: 4/5

Wow! You've got a great grip on your characters. May is as annoying as any younger sibling would be and Justin is even more annoying!

The dialogue was pretty realistic for a fantasy novel. I was afraid there would be a lot of jargon, but the story flowed smoothly, even with the hecticness of the kidnap and capture of her entire family. 

There are some areas where a lot of characters are in a scene. Adding dialogue tags would help distinguish who's saying what.

Writing Style: 4/5

I really love your writing style! It's equal amounts of dialogue, action, descriptions and awesomeness. There are some areas where it felt like you could've used less words to describe something, but overall it's pretty good. The descriptions of the guys were a little cliché; honestly, I felt like she'd be more mad at being kidnapped to notice the minute details about them.

Plot + Originality: 5/5

Definitely unique and awesome! The plot flows smoothly, with realistic dialogues. I absolutely enjoyed the banter between her and Justin. The only thing I felt off was that no one really said her name, maybe including it when someone says something to her could help reiterate it?

This was well written and thought out. You have minimal mistakes, grammatically speaking, with the exceptions that I found in the summary. Keep up the amazing job! I'm happy that I found another awesome book to read. :D

P.S. Totally love your cover! It's incredibly beautiful.

OVERALL SCORE: 20/25