51: What Has Always Been...
Kendall sat in front of her vanity, doing her makeup as she had some lectures a few hours from that time. I had just debriefed her about everything that happened the day before but she wasn't saying anything or freaking out...yet. She appeared to be deep in thought instead.
"It's all coming together, Rina," she said. "I just knew it."
"Is that all?" I asked her, incredulity evident in my voice. I was sitting on her bed in my jogging outfit with my hair tied up.
"So, you two have a date tonight?"
"Maybe it is but not a romantic kind of date. It's just a normal meeting between friends. He's normally very busy and I don't know the next time we'll get to see each other in person." I explained.
"Still, you should use this opportunity well. We still need to get you a killer outfit so that you look your best. Oh! I'm so excited!" She exclaimed.
"Ok, calm down Kendall. I know what you're thinking and it's not like anything is going to happen so don't get your hopes up, Ken." I reminded her. "So, how's your relationship with Ambrose going?"
She gave me a knowing look that told me that she knew exactly what I was doing. "We're good."
A smile followed after that statement. It was obvious that she was happy with Ambrose and their relationship was only about a month old. To me, their relationship was quite fast-paced but I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or bad. They seemed pretty infatuated with each other though…
The last thing I would do as a friend was to lecture her about her love life. We were all adults and though it didn't look like it, I was hoping she knew what she was doing.
In a way, it was silly. Here I was, never had I been in a relationship before and I was having opinions about someone else's…
She stood up from her seat in front of her vanity, coming to stand in front of her full-length mirror. There, she scrutinized herself.
"I don't like this outfit." She said finally before turning to her closet to pick out something else. "Hey, Rina, when did you last check your Instagram account?"
Instagram? I hadn't checked it in ages given that I spent very little time on my phone.
"No, is something wrong with it?" I queried.
"Not at all. It's just that you've gone from five thousand followers to fifty thousand."
Really? She was the one helping me manage it since I didn't have the time to do so.
"What happened?"
"Two words; modelling agency. It's normal though since you're now modelling and all but imagine how many followers you'd have if you and that handsome billionaire CEO guy became an item."
I face-palmed. "Here we go again."
Throughout that day, I tried not to think of the rendezvous I was scheduled to have with Ro that evening. It made me kind of sad; that it was the last time I'd see him in person for a while. So, I promised myself to make the most out of it.
It wouldn't be easy though; staring at a highly sophisticated Adonis throughout the evening and trying not to make a fool out of myself.
I also hadn't returned any of Michael's calls. I didn't know how big of a mistake I was making giving him my number and I couldn't think of any excuse at that time not to.
I stayed indoors since I didn't have lectures that day as Kendall did. I was also able to talk to my brother, Nicholas, and had a video call with Pierre too. I hated the way he looked at me but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it since he hadn't exactly made a move on me yet. The remnant of my time was spent working on another project that was due in three days.
The honking of a car drew my attention from my laptop and I peeked out my window to see a blue Sedan, pulling over by the curb. I watched Kendall alight the car.
She showed up way earlier than I expected and it was about two-thirty in the afternoon. I went to the door to receive her.
I could see that she ended up wearing a cream-coloured lace bustier top paired with some dark blue ripped jeans, boots, and a blazer for lectures since I left her condominium earlier.
Her lips looked swollen and I instantly knew she'd been with Ambrose.
"I didn't expect you at this time," I told her as she ventured into my apartment.
"Yeah, the earlier the better. We need all the time we can get to make sure you don't end up looking like you got hit by a truck." She advised with an innocent smile.
I decided not to argue with her since I wasn't going to win.
"So, I brought five outfits from my wardrobe—I've never worn these before. Let's see how they'll look on you."
We spent most of the time bickering about the outfits; while I said that most of them were very indecent, she argued that there was nothing wrong with them. About three of those dresses were backless, all of them exposing so much more cleavage than I could handle.
The fourth one was a long satin ivory dress, with some tulle in its sleeves and triangular cut-outs on both sides. The part that disturbed me the most was the alarmingly long slit in the dress that exposed way too much leg.
I refused to try out the fifth one which was literally all chains and strings.
"You are so hopeless, Carina, you know that right?!" Kendall hollered at me, gritting her teeth.
"Say what you want, Ken, but as long as I'm not out to seduce anyone tonight, I don't see the need to dress like a cocotte!"
"Isn't that the point?!" She asked exasperatedly.
I sighed before going over to the window only to see a familiar black BMW parked by the curb. He came out a few moments later, holding his phone to his ear and talking.
"Is that his car?" Kendall queried from beside me.
At my nod, she marvelled. "Wow. He looks more intimidating in person."
I blanched on realizing that we had spent all the time bickering and fighting without actually deciding on what to wear. Hurriedly, I threw on a red turtleneck and a double-breasted tan skirt with some thigh-high boots and a red clutch.
After having Kendall apply some light makeup on my face, I rushed downstairs with her. He was leaning against his car, wearing a grey shirt and deep red double-breasted peacoat with some navy blue jeans and brogues...as usual. They seemed to be his favourite type of footwear for some reason.
I noticed that he dressed differently that time around just as I remembered the incident of the night before. He wasn't taking any chances at all.
"I'm sorry for the delay." I apologized curtly.
He only nodded. "It's okay."
A starstruck Kendall cleared her throat beside me and I remembered that I still had to introduce her. "Rowen, this is my friend, Kendall, and Kendall, this is Rowen."
"It's an honour to finally meet the CEO of N-pire," Kendall spoke almost reverentially. I could tell that it was taking a lot from her to maintain her comportment and stop herself from literally fangirling over him.
"I see."
She stepped back to whisper in my ear. "If you mess this up, I will kill you."
Then, she gave me an innocent smile and waved us goodbye like she didn't just threaten me.
He took me to another five-star restaurant as usual. Underneath my breath, I prayed that it wouldn't end up like the day before. Apparently, Ro had made a reservation for us. A waiter with his hair swept back led us to our table. It was located on the balcony which afforded us an astounding view of the city.
Instantly, I came to the realization that making such a reservation must have cost a lot but I knew Rowen would rent the entire restaurant for that night if he so pleased. The tables near our location were sparse with even fewer people on them. It was unlikely that any of them would recognize Ro beneath his guise.
For some reason, that night was different and it wasn't the first time that we were doing that. In the past, when Ro visited my part of town—which was scarce, we always went somewhere and talked over a meal.
This time, the atmosphere was different and I couldn't tell what made it so. There was some kind of...tension brewing between us however, I tried to ignore it.
"...great grandparents were both from Africa and then they migrated to this place," I said enthusiastically. I was just telling Ro about my ancestry and he was quite surprised on hearing it. He listened with rapt attention without ever taking his enchanting, ethereal silver-grey eyes off me. His meal sat on the table untouched while he watched me talking and I barely touched mine.
"My grandmother married from here and gave birth to my father who then married my Mom. So yeah, I'm kinda African too—specifically, Nigerian." I continued.
He chuckled lightly and I saw a flash of his prominent canines. "That's crazy but I can believe it. You look so-"
"-pale?'' I asked, completing his sentence.
He nodded while I gave a tight-lipped grin, saying nothing before taking a sip of wine from my glass. Silence coalesced between us for a while just as I felt the air becoming taut before Ro spoke;
"Tell me about your therapy sessions, have you been able to complete the tasks he gave you?"
Brushing some hair out of my face, I said, "'Complete' is a grave understatement, Rowen. I mean, he did say to get out of my comfort zone and do things I haven't done before. I went to that party, yes and I finally spoke to my family that I have not interacted with for close to two years. There's still more to be done but I'm in no hurry."
The look on his face told me that I hadn't quite given the response that he was looking for. Then, he stood up abruptly and walked over to the balustrades.
He gestured for me to come over and I did. The night sky was starry and the air was cool. The overview of the city was beyond breathtaking and I couldn't help sighing contentedly.
For several moments, we stayed, silently observing the scenery and I could feel his gaze straying on me occasionally.
"It's a starry night," he said, stating the obvious.
"Just like the night I was born," I told him. Our gazes met for a moment and he raised a thick, perfect brow at my words.
I continued. "My parents say I brought light into their lives and that's why they named me Carina."
"Star," he whispered and I nodded with a small smile. "It's a beautiful name."
"Thanks."
There was another bout of silence between us and a small breeze carried by, raising some dust as well as the tension between us. When I looked at him, his gaze was directed upwards, and following his line of vision, I came to stare up at the stars too.
"As you look at the stars, what do you see?"
Squinting my eyes at the luminous bodies, I perused them for a moment, looking for an answer in the night sky. "I see possibilities...lots and lots of possibilities."
He smiled. "Indeed."
Then, he took my hand and intertwined our fingers. A soft gasp escaped past my lips just as sparks spread across my skin. My mind was already flying and the air between us had completely changed.
His eyes were watching me intently, reading my every expression closely. My eyes which were previously glued to our intertwined fingers came up to meet his heated gaze before they wandered down to my lips and remained there.
Before I knew it, his face was suddenly inches from mine. I gasped lightly, my eyes flickering over his sculpted facials.
From his breathtaking eyes and high cheekbones to those moderate red lips that appeared to be fuller at the bottom than at the top. Those lips… I fought the urge to cover the remaining distance between us.
Despite knowing his relationship status, I didn't try to stop him when he melded his lips to mine, instantly closing the space between us. Time stopped at that moment as I ascended into the clouds followed by an inexplicable ecstatic feeling that deadened my senses. Then, he broke away.
It took some moments to get over the shock of what just happened as I caught my breath. The kiss was curt but filled with a myriad of emotions. It was like touching something hot and withdrawing immediately. My head spun as I raised a single finger to my lower lip.
Meanwhile, those piercing silver-grey eyes of his watched me intently, as I tried to process what just happened. He knew what he'd just done; breaching our friendship and we'd never be the same again...that is if we ever had a friendship.
"How did it feel?" He asked softly like he didn't want to startle me.
I looked at him and without ever having to think of a response, I said breathlessly, "It felt… Right."
Strangely, it did feel that way, like it was always meant to happen. Before he kissed me, I knew I wanted it so I didn't fight it. However, I couldn't get over the feeling that I'd done something horribly wrong. Ro was seeing someone else and he'd be cheating on her with me so, I voiced my thoughts.
"I don't understand. You're seeing someone else, aren't you?"
He was surprised at my words and raised a brow at me. "And who might that be?"
"That time I was still in the hospital, you came with a lady to see me. She was slim and blonde."
He stared at me for a moment before letting a light chortle drift from his lips. "That woman I came with is my personal assistant, Janice and we have no romantic relationship whatsoever." I was shocked beyond words at his utterance. "And I'm guessing you've been thinking that for a long time?"
"A very long time," I told him, suddenly feeling relieved.
"You never asked."
"I felt that I was in no place to do so and I guess I just made a blind assumption."
He raked his hands through his hair. "And what about you? That man you were talking to back there when we were with Anaïs, you two know each other?"
He was talking about Pedro. "Of course not," I clarified. "He's just an acquaintance and we have no other bonds aside from that. I met him there purely by chance and if I knew he would be there, I wouldn't have gone there. I know Dr. Dean's advice includes starting to see guys and but honestly, I'm not into anyone at the moment."
There was another moment of silence before he sighed;
"I think about you an unhealthy number of times every day… It's a strange thing to me 'cause no woman has ever occupied my mind and haunted my dreams the way you do. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind. When I got well, all I wanted to do was to find you and return the favour.
Still, I had a hard time understanding what you did for me back then. All I can say is that you've got a golden heart and I am privileged to have met you. When I found you and started getting to know you, I realized that I was falling for you. Hard. I didn't care what you looked like even if you were scarred.
Back then, you were beautiful on the inside and outside and you still are. I've been wanting to have something with you, something deeper than just a friendship but I knew I had to give you some space because of your health...amongst other things, and of course, I wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual."
I pondered over his words. He had literally confessed that he liked me and that alone, had me feeling a bit light-headed. The fact that such a stunning, statuesque man would take interest in me was unbelievable. I was literally on cloud nine then.
He also said that he was giving me space 'cause of my health...it was touching and he was so considerate. I really appreciated that.
"The stars above us tonight are filled with possibilities—you said that yourself. So, I'm asking you right now, do you believe in the possibility of there being an 'us'? Just as much as I do? It doesn't have to be just a possibility anymore but a vibrant reality—in fact, it can be anything you want and we'll see how it goes."
I smiled before I could stop myself. "You know what they say, 'follow the stars and they'll lead you home'. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is exactly the direction that the stars are pointing to, so yes, I believe in that possibility as much as you do. I want more than anything for us to bring it into reality and just as you said, we'll see how it goes..."
The journey back to my apartment felt shorter than usual and silent. It was a comfortable silence though and we both seemed to be lost in our thoughts and our worlds. I envisioned Kendall's reaction when I told her the outcome of that night. I guessed she was right about Ro not being in a relationship and it was all in my head.
Speaking of relationships, I had never been in one considering that I was never attractive enough. That night changed all of that and I realized that I didn't know the first thing about relationships to start with. I guessed I would be needing relationship advice but not from Kendall.
Sneaking a peek at the Adonis beside me, I put a hand over my face and smiled sheepishly. My head still reeled from earlier. That night marked the beginning of a romantic relationship between Ro and me and I was ecstatic to see what the future held for us.
Normally, I had always cared about Ro even while he was ill. However, it was only just recently that the feeling was nurtured and grew to become something stronger and more passionate though I never admitted it. It had always been there.
Once the car finally stopped, reality struck me; Ro was leaving for the in skirts the next day and my heart constricted at the thought of him being so far away. Why did it suddenly hurt so much? When it was always the way things were.
"What's bothering you?" He asked.
There was genuine concern in those beautiful eyes that just made my heart melt. He was finally letting me read him and see his feelings, unlike before...
I smiled sadly and shrugged. "Nothing much," I told him wistfully. "When are you leaving tomorrow?"
"Very early, actually," he looked down at his expensive-looking watch momentarily. "Would you like me to call you when I get there and probably every other day onwards?"
"That would be nice," I admitted, cheering up a bit. Though our relationship was going to be a long-distance one, I just knew that hearing his voice every day would suffice.
Slowly, he took my hand in his and I marvelled at the way they fit together. His eyes were momentarily trained on our hands before he looked up and said, "Thank you for giving me a chance in your life."
My eyes flickered to meet him. "You're welcome."
His gaze dropped to my lips, however, he soon looked away. Though we only just started dating that night, it felt like we'd been together for long...
As soon as we bid each other farewell, I alighted the vehicle. My heart constricted painfully as I watched his car disappear into the night before disappearing into my apartment in a like manner.
* * *
* *
I was doing some reading in the school's library when someone took a seat across from me. As I was lost reading, I didn't bother to lower my book to see who it was.
"Hey, Carina," the person greeted.
Recognizing the voice, I instantly lowered my book. The shock on my face was immense as I came face to face with Gareth after being MIA for weeks.
On overcoming my shock, I raised a brow at him. "You want something?"
"Can we talk, please?" He pleaded.
"Sure." I dropped my book and gave him my full attention.
After giving furtive glances at the sparse students around, he shook his head.
"Not here. Can we go somewhere else?"
"Why?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Please, I swear I'm not trying to pull anything on you."
He looked and sounded sincere but I still had my guard up as I followed him to the back of a building on campus.
"Listen," he started. "I'm sorry about the party and everything that happened. I shouldn't have tried to take advantage of you and that's why I want to make it up to you."
"Gareth…" I barely said before he suddenly claimed my lips in his and pushed me up against a wall.
I broke away and gave him a slap across the face before I could catch myself.
"Oh my God, Gareth just get a grip on yourself already!" I yelled out, breathless and angry.
"Did you feel it?" He asked instead. "Carina, you and I have a connection. It's something unique that I've never felt with any other girl before. You make me want to be a better person and I just need you to give me another chance, please?"
I just felt sorry for him and at that moment, I really wished that I could tell him what he wanted to hear...but I couldn't.
"Gareth, please just stop this. The truth is that I don't feel anything for you and we don't have any connections of any sort. Don't you understand? It's all in your head.
Back at that party, I was intoxicated and that was the only reason why I kissed you and let you do those things to me—you know that. So, don't start getting obsessed or confusing it with love or affection 'cause it's not." I glanced at him and sighed. It was high time I told him the bitter truth; "I've always seen you as a friend and nothing more."
"We can still make it work. I can still make you like me." He countered, trying to sway me.
I met his desperate gaze with my resolute one.
"But what if I...like someone else?"
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