The rules had been laid out, the movie chosen, the liquor had been generously poured.  I was screwed. This was the most dangerous game I could ever play with Luca. Why was I doing this again?

An innocent movie night quickly turned into a drinking game trap. We chose a suspense about a documentary film crew going to investigate a long abandoned Russian power plant after everyone mysteriously disappeared in a freak accident in the 1980's.

The rules?  Every time either of us jumped, jerked, or made a noise in surprise, we had to drink a shot of whiskey.  By halfway in, I was well passed tipsy but Luca was barely buzzed.

We both sat on the couch though Luca faced forward with his feet propped on the coffee table while I sat on my hip, feet turned toward him.  Some time during the first part of the movie, Luca shrugged off his dress shirt, tempting me with the sight of him in a white cotton tank and his gray dress slacks.  Every time something popped out from the shadows, I jolted, he laughed then poured a shot. 

"This is so not fair!" I slurred as Luca handed me another shot glass which I tossed back, wincing and exhaling. "You're just trying...to get my drunk so you can take advantage of me!"

Luca threw his head back and laughed. If I hadn't been so drunk, it would have been a marvelous sight. The sound hit my ears and certainly did make my heart flutter. The odd part was how sad Luca looked after.  Without a word, he refilled and tossed back a shot just because he could.

I figured it was a good idea I try and change the mood.  With my foot, I reached out and tapped his thigh.  "So...Carina said today, she wants a surfboard."

A stern sideways glance was shot my direction. "That's a definite no."

"Well, I told her I'd ask you," I explained.

"No."

"Aww, come  on," I pouted like Carina would if she were here.  "She just wants to be like Barbie!"

"That's not ever going to happen," Luca scoffed.  "Braydan would..." Then his voice trailed off suddenly, and there was a far off yet hardened look in his eyes.

Guilt instantly made my stomach flip.  I chewed the inside of my cheek trying to think of something to say, however nothing came to mind.  So I said the one thing I felt I should.

"Luca," I called softly, sitting up.  He didn't even look at me, but he did shift in his seat, stretching out his left arm over the back of the couch. "I'm sorry I made you sad..."

"I'm not sad, Madison," He dismissed, shooting me an annoyed glance. "I'm angry!" Then he was silent, staring at the TV. 

Adjusting myself so I was sitting on my knees, I laid a hand on his forearm. "You know," I began carefully, drawing intricate shapes on his arm.  "I'm better for far more than teasing, cuddling and cooking." A small, playful smirk tugged at my lips, but no reaction from the stoic, ever scowling Luca.  "I've been told I'm a really good listener, too."

"Really," Luca groaned with heavy sarcasm.

"Mhmm," I hummed, ignoring the cut of his reply. "You can tell me-"

"What do you think is wrong, Madison?" Luca snapped, finally looking at me but those forest orbs were icy cold.

Retracting my hand, I sighed heavily and sat back.  "I don't know, Luca! I hardly know anything about you let alone what makes you angry! That's why I am asking! I'm here. I'm listening."

There was a long moment of silence.  Forest depths stayed locked on me, processing, warring the outcome. I tried to toil through all the possibilities.  Health? Excellent, I mean look at him.  Business? I was sure that was always stressful, but had something happened? No, he would tell me.  Carina? She was happy, healthy, safe...Wait...

Without saying a word, I crawled on my knees across the couch toward Luca.  His brow wrinkled briefly in confusion at my actions but that wouldn't stop me.  Placing my hands on his shoulders, I swung a leg over then slowly lowered myself to sit straddled on his lap. He kept his arms on the back and arm of the couch, fists tightly clenched.

I knew from our countless encounters and close calls that he favored my sitting like this on him.  So intimately close, face to face and near enough to fan our breaths on each other.  His firm chest rose and fell deeply in labored breaths. Slowly I ran my hands down from his strong shoulders to his sides, then back up again until they rested on his neck, searching those eyes for answers.

Luca let out a heavy sigh then finally snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. With his forehead resting on my chest, I stroked his hair and held him to me.

"I miss them," He sighed.  "Death is part of this life, one that I didn't have to see as often as my father or Braydan.  I have seen and caused much more in these last two years."

A soft kiss pecked on my collarbone was soon after followed by another then another.  It lit something inside me I hadn't felt burning so deeply before.  My breathing deepened, fingers tightened and those kisses became more urgent.  Luca's left hand slid up my back, diving into my hair.

I leaned away from those tempting lips to gaze down into the turmoil raging in those depths.  Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the growing pressure at my core, maybe it was suppressed feelings finally bubbling to the surface.

Whatever the reason, my face turned toward his hand in my hair and I pressed my lips onto his tattoo.  The sharp intake of breath into Luca's lungs made me smirk.  So...it seems he did feel some effects.

One lingering kiss at a time, I made my way leisurely up from his wrist, to forearm to the tightening bicep and finally his broad shoulder. I had never been bold enough to initiate, too scared of rejection, too scared I would do something wrong or displeasing.  That fear in this moment was long gone.

Hands took a firm hold of my hips as I kissed across his bare, broad shoulder and up his smooth, tanned neck, lingering to kiss and suck on the mirrored spot where Luca would torment me.  The guttural groan I felt rumble from the back of his throat was perfect encouragement.

I could feel him pulling me, grinding me slowly against the growing hardness tenting his pants.  The friction just enough to make my core react and dampen.  Rolling my head back, I let out a soft moan and moved my hips with his rhythm, needing and desiring more pressure.

Again I felt overwhelmed by boldness and reached down between us to undo his belt. Before I could get his pants undone, Luca's hand grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"What are you doing?" He demanded in a rough, husky voice.

My sapphire eyes widened in shock.  "I...want to feel you...like you do me," I whispered, licking my lips and leaning forward with his tempting, forbidden lips being my goal.

"Not when you are drunk, Madison," He rejected. 

"But you are always demanding I yield!" I scoffed, fury and hurt fast growing in place of the desire that was once there. "I'm not some innocent girl anymore! That's partially thanks to you! Why don't you want me now?"

"I want this," He scowled but still held me tight to him.  "When you want me.  Not when you are drunk and full of pity."

"This is not pity!" I tried to sneer angrily but it came out broken, shaky and on the verge of tears. I tried to wriggle out of his lap but those strong hands kept me firmly in place.  "If you can't see that, then forget I ever even tried!" 

With a hard shove, I pushed Luca's hands from my hips and scrambled angrily from his lap. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I made my wobbly way upstairs.  Heading straight for the bathroom, I locked myself in and got in the shower, hoping it would sober me up.

I felt repulsed, dirty and for the first time truly felt like a whore even though nothing happened. How many times had he invaded my body with heated touches and kisses that I never asked for? Then the one time I initiate, he still wields all the power and shuts me down.

Finally a knock on the door brought me back to the current and I quickly washed then rinsed. I figured it was Luca at the door. I didn't answer or rush to open it once I was out.  A few moments later, I heard his soft footsteps pad away. With nothing else to wear, I put on the pajamas I had previously worn then emerged into the darkened bedroom.

The raised portion on his side told me Luca was already in bed.  I tiptoed over to my side and carefully sat down then swung my legs in under the blankets. Stubbornly I laid with my back to the source of my anger and pain only to feel him roll over and drape an arm over me as he always did. 

I was tugged toward him to the center of the bed, my back pressed to his warm front. Tears threatened to fall again but I forced them back.  Closing my eyes, I focused on the overwhelming comfort of his warmth. Eventually I fell asleep with soft kisses peppering my hair.

****

"Ti amo, Madison," I whispered softly once her breathing had slowed, telling me she was fast asleep.

(I love you)

A rare outburst from our usually mysterious and stoic Luca. Everyone has their breaking point.  Now we have a glimpse of what is going on in his head.

Poor Madison, though.

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