I want pudding.  *adds to grocery list*

"What do you mean you knew?" I squealed, jerking away and tugging the sheets up over my chest.

Luca sighed and cupped my cheek.  He drew me closer and pressed a kiss on my forehead.  "Come with me."

Wordlessly I followed him out of bed.  I slipped on my robe as he pulled on pajama pants.  The stoic silence and mysteriousness was making me anxious.  If Luca knew I had been approached, why didn't he say anything?  Was he upset but harboring it?  Did he keep the information in those files a secret because I didn't tell him about the cop?  So many questions raced through my head.  I silently followed Luca down the dark hallway, back toward his office.

His broad back remained facing me.  Hunched over. he searched through a drawer for a file.  I flipped on a low light lamp to illuminate the room but still, his eyes wouldn't lift to me.  I couldn't tell if he was angry.

"Luca," I called softly, laying my hand on his forearm.  He shuffled through the drawer yanking out file after file slapping them onto the desk.  "You're frightening me."

Silence was my answer until he was satisfied with the files on the desk. With a heavy sigh, he sat back in his leather chair. I crossed my arms around my middle and watched him.  Finally, those emerald orbs flicked up to mine. His expression was stoic and unreadable.

"Three years ago I opened a club in Old Town," Luca began coolly.  He steepled his fingers with elbows resting on his crossed over leg. "I needed somewhere for non 'family' related business events. About six months after we parted, I saw you there."

I flipped open the file.  My breath hitched seeing pictures of me with Agent Ben Smith in the VIP lounge of this club I now found out belonged to Luca!  So, he really was there that night?

"I knew you had been approached," he continued calmly while my heart was racing from fury.  "I had men watching, tracking and guarding you. It wasn't by accident many of your modeling events were at that club."

Scoffing, I crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him.  "All the male partners for classes, male coworkers I worked with who seemed terrified of me."

"They had an excellent reason to be scared."

Unbelievable! I was never free afterall.  The proof is in the pudding.

"You had your goons bully any man in my life to stay from me? Jealous much?" I spat, the fury growing.

"Yes!" he yelled.  His hands curled into tightly clenched fists. "No one could be trusted! Threats had shifted to be aimed at you and I couldn't-"

Rubbing his face with his hand, I saw something I had never seen in Luca Luciano's eyes.  Fear.  I remained silently watching him, letting him say his peace in his time.

"Rumors had been trickling that Garrett Falladori was indeed alive," Luca continued.  His voice went back to being stoic and calm.  I knew he was feeling anything but.  The trembling in his hands was one clue.  "I've managed to keep a select couple of cops and federal agents in my back pocket.  Ben Smith being one of them."

My eyes went wide, brows raising in shock.  "He...works for you?"

"Technically not.  That would be illegal," Luca waved a hand dismissively.   "However, he does keep me informed of any threats.  A missing persons report had been filed for you when you were underground.  It went cold so they let it be.  Until you started rising in the modeling industry.  Boudoir modeling, Madison."  He growled my name, jaw clenched.

"So you uh, knew about that, huh?" I asked shyly.  Cold rushed through my veins.  Goosebumps rising on my arm.  I suddenly wasn't so proud of my fast ascent in lingerie modeling success.

Keeping those emerald orbs still fixed on me, Luca closed the first folder and pushed another toward me.  When I flipped it open, a mix of fear and anger rushed down my spine. I was so sick and tired of seeing files!

There were several photographs from many different boudoir shoots and advertisements I had done for clothing.  More specifically lingerie.  While not my proudest moments in my job choice, it did pay the bills, rent and tuition.  I doubted it was a coincidence that these pictures looked worn.  The corners bent, edges wrinkled like they had been flipped through, admired many times.

"This was an ad for curtains," I feebly defended. Heat crawled up my cheeks.  Draped with only an opaque sheet around my derriere with stilettos, my silhouette was framed by luxurious sheer curtains ordaining a window.  This home goods company took a more...risky, or risque approach for their advertising. 

Luca quirked an eyebrow and pursed his lips, flipping to another picture.   "And this one?"

Lounged across a bright white loveseat in sparkly black stilettos, I wore a black lace bralette and thong with garter holding up thigh high hose and raven locks cascading over the arm of the small couch.

"The...couch by the...same designer," I stammered not caring that Luca wasn't buying the explanations.

Another picture was flicked my way.  "This one?" Luca prompted, voice now gruff and tight.

Only partly in shadow, I was sprawled on a bed covered in white messy sheets, a black lace lingerie set, one leg bent with the other lay flat.

"Clearly, the mattress," I spat weakly.

Luca scoffed then pushed another one of me on hands and knees, mid hair flip.  The raven tendrils were a blur but every curve on my appearing nude body was accentuated in the silhouette.  The flesh colored lingerie appeared nearly invisible.

"OK, that one was really hard to get!" I pointed out.  I was  actually proud of that pose.  "Do you know how much my neck hurt after those takes?"

Silently another was passed over the desk.  The typical black lingerie, I laid on my back but a hand slipped down the front of the thong.

I laughed when I saw that one.  "Ohhh, OK!  Abby visited that day and dared me to do that!"

The next few Luca tossed were couple poses with a male model.  The only male model, who was comfortable working with me.  Despite the steamy nature, sessions with him were the only innocent ones.

"Aww, Drake was fun," I smiled fondly, picking up the pictures one at a time.  Luca's growl was not missed.  "His boyfriend is a very talented photographer.  Oh!  I should call him to do the wedding!"

"Sure," Luca shrugged.  I smiled, stepping to lunge at him but the joy quickly faded.  That was way too easy.

"Sure?" I echoed.  "Just like that?"

Shrugging again, he steepled his fingers.  "I'll call him tomorrow."

"You'll call-"

"I own the studio."

My fury morphed to rage.  I slammed my hand on the desk.

"I've been living here with you for months!" I snapped, pointing a single finger at the file.  "Luca! We are engaged!  Yet you didn't bother to tell me about any of this? That you-"  I growled and threw my hands up, storming away from him.

"It was always to protect you, Gattina," he cooed.  Luca reached out for me but I stepped back.  "I was able to proof all the sessions and approve of which ones the advertisers accepted.  If too much about you got out, it would have revealed your location."

I was silent for a long time.  Rage boiled inside along with the renewed pain and loneliness I battled for two years.

"For two years," I seethed in a hushed tone.  "Two years you watched, controlled and monitored everything about my life. Yet...you couldn't send any word or notice?  Any sign that you cared?"

Luca exhaled through his nose, lips pressed in a thin line.  That just made the anger boil hotter.

"No, no, of course not," I waved him off dramatically.  Anger flooding, erupting out of me.  "You were too busy interrogating, or sorry, torturing people with drugs and poisons while Two Toes kept the select appendages as trophies and Hatchet chopped up the bodies to hide the evidence!"  I was shaking now, struggling for breath, my voice cracking as the sobs broke out.  "Of course, you were too busy!"

Before Luca could grab me, I stormed out of the room, hand clasped over my mouth to stifle the sobs.  Hot tears of anger, pain and other swirling emotions flowed freely.  I couldn't breathe, couldn't see him, or look at him.  Needing solitude and time to calm down, the bathroom became my sanctuary.

The tears flowed pathetically free as the water heated.  Carelessly I dropped the silk robe to the floor and stepped into the glass enclosure. Darkness filled the room.  I didn't even bother turning on the lights.  Solitude was my goal.  By now, it had to be way past midnight and the moon glowed from its perch in the sky.  That glowing white light softly filtered in through the large window across from the shower. My back faced the door.

****
Luca

I messed up.  Totally, completely, utterly f^cked up.  It was made clear to Smith that Madison was off limits. Yet she called him. If she saved his business card from his first approach, she probably guessed he'd have some answers about her dad.  Madison had to have known how risky that was but she took it. 

Dragging a hand down my face, I cursed myself for taking it too far.  There was no reason to show her the pictures from her modeling.  All it did was show I had other things higher in priority than her.  That was exactly the opposite.  She was always my priority.

The water running told me where Madison had gone.  I had to talk to her.  Get her to listen.  Even if that meant telling her my own secret.  The heart of why I knew Ben had approached her.  How I knew she had called him yesterday.

I winced as the door creaked, hoping she wouldn't get mad seeing me. The pale yet bright moonlight poured into the bathroom. I frowned because I didn't see her at first. That instantly morphed to desire seeing her naked silhouette in the shower.

When she first was "collected", her body was skinny, slender and hardly any shape to it.  It was her transformation through our training, gaining some weight and toned muscle.  Standing in my shower now was not a skinny, frail girl.  She had the full curves of a woman.  A feisty, passionate, caring and intelligent woman. 

And she was mine.

My pajama bottoms joined her robe on the floor.  I eased the glass door open, stepping in behind her trembling body.  The fruity aroma of her soaps hit my nostrils tilting my lips to a smirk.  I would never get enough of that scent.  Wrapping my arms around her body, I rested my chin on her shoulder.  I exhaled heavily, grateful she didn't elbow me or scream for me to leave. Her body did stiffen.  She did try to step away but my grip tightened.  With a heavy sigh, she relaxed against me.

"You're right, Gattina," I whispered, pressing my lips to her bare shoulder. Madison's body started to turn but my hold stayed firm to keep her back to my front.  Instead, she turned her face.

"What?"

Laying another kiss on her wet skin, I repeated a little louder.  "You were right."

"About?"

"Everything." She let out a heavy sigh and laid her hands over my arms that held around her middle. "And I've never lied to you."

"Omissions aren't the truth.  I need the truth, Luca.  Always." 

"Always," I hummed back to her.

The scalding hot water pounded on our skin, turning her flushed red. Slowly I turned her in my arms, holding her sapphire gaze.  I could and have gotten lost in those eyes so many times.  I stopped counting long ago. Cupping her cheek, I inhaled a slow breath, held it then slowly released.

"I couldn't come for you," I stated, ignoring that she bristled.  "Please, Gattina."  Pressing a kiss to her lips, I steadied my breathing, fighting an inner war to maintain control and keep talking.  "Yes. Those things Smith told you...about what I did, they are true.  I have killed many people.  You knew that from the beginning."

"I did, but-"

"Shh," I ran my thumb over her lips.  I desperately wanted to taste them again.  We had to have this talk first.  "Every single life taken was out of necessity.  To protect my family, our businesses, our life.  I hated every moment which is why I was willing to risk running...with you."

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks again and it tore me apart that I was the source. "Luca, they would have killed us both."

"I know," I gritted out, holding her face in both hands.  "I would rather die with you in my arms than live without you.  Then everything changed.  My father died and so did Brayden.  Everything became much more complicated."

She flinched, stepping away but I snaked an arm around her again.  "I became a complication?"

"Yes," I whispered, hovering dangerously close to those plump rosy lips.  "A complication I spent two years fighting, negotiating and killing to keep safe."

"I was safe," she stammered.  "I was ignorantly safe."

"And you were almost taken the night I came for you!" I yelled, slamming a hand on the wall of the shower.  Madison flinched, covering her mouth to stifle her sobs.  I squeezed my eyes shut, hating that she feared me.  "Every person I snuffed out or tortured during those two years were following you, photographing you and plotting how best to kill you then ship your body to me in pieces! So," I stroked her cheek gently.  "I called in a favor."

I let silence linger, watching her face slowly form an expression of confusion.

"I called Ben," I sighed.  "And made a deal for my immunity. He agreed to help me get out."

"Wh-what?" she exclaimed.  Brows dipped showed she thoroughly confused. She pressed her palms to my chest. "What was the deal?"

Exhaling through my nose, this was another bomb about to be dropped.  "I agreed to work closely with him while he investigated you. That night at the club, I had an earpiece and could hear everything said."

"You set me up?" she blinked, working out whether to feel betrayed or not.

"Only to keep you safe and earn a way for us to live a normal life," I kissed her softly then whispered,  "Together."

My hands cupped both her cheeks again.  My lips lingered, aching for more contact.  What little skin contact we had was already sending blood rushing south. That was all I could tell her for now, hoping, trusting she would understand.  The rest of my deal, this plan I was buried so deep in had to remain secret for maximum authenticity.  I cannot risk her safety.  The less Madison knows, the better.

"Ben said he couldn't guarantee your immunity," She pouted, staring off to the side lost in thought.

I swiped her sopping wet hair away from her round face and frowned. "What?"

"He asked me to help take down key mafia families," she explained.  "Yesterday, I told him yes if he guaranteed your immunity as well as mine and for Carina come with us."

The smirk on my lips was impossible to fight.  "You did that?" She nodded, grinning up at me.  "My feisty tiger, hmm?"

"Well, and since Ben couldn't promise that," she shrugged as if making high stake demands was child's play.  "I simply demanded my father help us instead.  You know, since I was there.  He said he would try."

Throwing my head back, I let out a deep laugh, so proud of my feisty woman.  I grinned down at Madison's gleaming smile and pressed her back to the shower wall.  Her mouth dropped open in mock surprise but draped her arms over my shoulders, stroking the hairs at my nape.

"Do you have...any idea," I ground out, sliding a featherlight touch down the curve of her side. "How ballsy that was?" 

I lost all control when those luscious rosy lips curved into a wide grin accompanied by a slow nod.

Luca fessed up.

Madison has a pair 😎😉

Ohhhh man!

How do you feel about Luca tracking Madison all that time? 😜

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