Joshua O'Brian

August 16th, 2018

  Life is funny in the sense it could give you everything you ever wanted while also threatening to take it all away. Today I got the news that my best friend Quinn and his sister Danielle were coming to FSU for the fall semester. It wasn't Quinn I had a problem with, Quinn and I go way back, it was his sister who just so happened to be my ex-girlfriend. Danielle and I had been broken up for about a month and unlike her I tried to move on. Her and I were good together and we had our fun but it just wasn't our time. At least that's the way I saw it, Danielle might think differently considering it was my idea to break up in the first place.

  It also doesn't really look good when you factor in that I got with my new girlfriend Jessica only two weeks after I broke up with Danielle. It does look bad but I swear it was just the way things played out. Some of our friends thought I broke up with Danielle just to get with Jessica but that wasn't fair to me because I really liked Danielle but our spark blew out for a lack of a better term. I only got with Jessica when I realized how cool of a person she actually was. She was there for me after my break up Danielle unlike my other friends. We shared a moment in my dorm room and the rest is history, we were officially a couple.

  I honestly didn't think I was gonna see Danielle that often considering the only times I would see her would be when I saw Quinn which I didn't think would be that often. Before I got the news I thought Quinn was gonna go to a different school and Danielle all but confirmed she was heading to New York for college. But I guess things changed for the both of them. Half of me wants to believe Danielle only changed her mind so she could see me but that's stupid. She probably only changed schools to support her brother who to be fair was going through a really tough time.

  His girlfriend Brianna passed away only a year ago and its been rough for him ever since. I was there that night when she collapsed at Carlo's and I experienced Quinn's pain first hand. I was glad to here he was going to school because after he skipped last semester I was wondering if was ever gonna go back to school. Having Danielle here will be kinda awkward considering we've only be separate for a month and last time we spoke she was still kind of bitter about it all. I'll just have to deal with it if I wanna hang out with my best friend and help him get accumulated to the college life.

  Which by the way has treated me nice, I mean I've always been an outgoing person but with more freedom and parties every weekend this place is where I belong. School is kinda hard but honestly I was always solid when it came to academics so it never bothered me. Speaking of academics I should get back to studying considering I was in my dorm room doing nothing right now. Before I could open my textbook I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in!" I shouted.

"Yo you're girlfriends at the front door." Shaun, my roommate, said opening the door.

"Oh shit can you tell her I'm busy?"

"Busy with what?" Jessica said walking past Shaun.

My eyes lit up for a moment. I was caught off guard but damn, I could get used to that.

"Studying." I smiled before looking at Shaun with an obvious, fuck you, look. "Thanks Shaun."

"Aye not my fault she let herself in." He said closing my door.

I looked over at Jessica. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to see you why else?" She asked giving me a kiss on the lips.

I pulled away. "Look that's great but I really gotta get back to studying." Before I could finish, she took my textbook out of my hand.

"You still think you need to study calculus?" She asked setting my textbook aside.

I nodded. "Yeah it keeps my mind going you know."

"Well I have something else to keep your mind going." She said kissing me again.

I pulled away again. "Yeah that's cool but I really do have to get back to studying."

"Ok stop!" She said holding her hand up. "Josh what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I cleared my throat. "Nothing's wrong."

"Josh I can tell when you're lying to me, what's bothering you?" She asked. "It's not normal of you to just resist my kisses."

I took a deep breath. "Quinn's coming to FSU today."

"Oh well that's great you told me he's your best friend what's wrong with that?" She asked.

"He's bringing his sister Danielle with him."

"Oh....her." Jessica said.

I had told Jessica all about Danielle. It probably wasn't standard "new couple conversation" but I was going through a venting phase.

"Yeah so excuse me if I'm not in the mood today Jess."

"Wait so you're ex-girlfriend coming here suddenly makes me less attractive?" Jessica asked tilting her head.

I smiled and leaned back on the bed. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Are you sure? You two have only been apart for a month right?" Jessica asked straddling my waist.

"Jess." I leaned up and placed my arms around her. "You're my girlfriend now ok. Not Danielle."

"You're lucky you're cute or else I don't know how I'd put up with you." She said.

"Oh please we both know it was my irresistible charm that got to you."

"Is that so?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah don't you remember the first time we met?"

"How could I forget? You remind me of it everyday." She said smiling.

July 31, 2018

  The bus ride to Tallahassee was gonna be long, like five hours long to be exact. The worst part was all of my friends were driving there but I didn't have a car and no one in my family wanted to drive me five hours to FSU. So thank the lord for public transport, even it was funded by my scholarship program. So technically you could say it was like a crappy limousine taking me and 30 other kids to Florida State University. I got on the bus and found an empty seat and as I sat there waiting for all the other people to get on I couldn't help but feel like I made the wrong choice choosing the bus.

  That was until I saw a girl get on that caught me by surprise. I mean she was gorgeous but I couldn't be feeling that because I had just broken up with Danielle only a few days ago. I shouldn't be thinking like that but before I knew it the girl was so much closer to me. Her hair was a long blonde mess tied up in a bun and her eyes....her eyes were stunning. They were the best blue eyes could ever look. I sunk into my seat a bit and tried my hardest not to look like an idiot staring at her.

"Is that seat taken?" She asked.

"Ummm.....no." I looked around and noticed that there were plenty of empty seats.

"I'm Jessica." She said sitting down next to me.

I held out my hand. "Josh."

"Handshake? Classy." She said shaking my hand.

I turned and looked out the window as the bus started moving. "Just being polite."

"Are you gonna be one of those quiet people the whole trip?" She asked.

"Look we're gonna be in this bus for five hours so if you don't mind I'm gonna try and sleep through it." I  leaned my head against the window and shut my eyes.

"It's noon, how can you be so tired?" She asked.

"I stayed up all night arguing with my ex." I admitted.

"Ahhh I see, break ups can be tough." She said patting me on the shoulder.

I sucked my teeth. "Yeah you have no idea."

"Why'd you break up? If you don't mind me asking." She asked.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. "The love just wasn't there anymore for us. It sucked but that's life."

"I've had my fair share of break ups too, trust me I understand." She said.

"Yeah and now I have to go to this school far away from my home." I rubbed both of my eyes with my palms. "Life is killing me right now."

"Well I'm sure you have friends at FSU so it could be worse." She said.

"A few are going but it doesn't matter, college is a double edged sword in the fact that its so fun yet so stressful."

"God you'd think with all the tax dollars our parents pay the school could afford a better bus." She said looking around.

"Right, this seats are so uncomfortable."

"That's because you're leaning on a glass window." She said.

"Yeah the window is made of glass Jessica thanks for reminding me." I chuckled sitting up and leaning my head against the seat instead.

"You could lean on me if you want." She said.

I was caught off guard by that one.

"What?"

"I mean if you really do want to sleep through this whole thing." She said.

"How old did you say you were again?"

"I didn't." She said.

"Well can you tell me now?"

"20 years young." She said smiling.

"Well I'm 22 years old." I smiled back.

"I have a good feeling we're gonna be best friends by the time we get to FSU." She said.

I chuckled. "The best of friends."

August 16th, 2018

"Do you always have to remind me of the first time we met? You know I was there right?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah but it still stuns me how cute you were when we first met."

"So what you're saying is I'm not as cute now?" She asked tilting her head.

"No." I leaned in a kissed her on the lips. "Much cuter now."

"You're lucky you're still as charming." She said.

There was suddenly a knock at the door.

"Yo Josh!" Shaun shouted on the other side.

I moved Jessica off of me. "Yeah!"

"Quinn's here." He said opening my door.

"Is Danny with him?"

"No they're not in the dorm but they asked us to meet them at the bar place across the street." He said before walking out of view into our living room.

I sat up and put on my shoes. "Alright tell them we'll be there."

"Wait you're going?" Jessica asked.

"Quinn's my best friend Jess."

"Yeah but she'll be there." Jessica said.

I looked back at her and smirked. "That's why you're coming with me."

"Alright." She said before walking out into the living room. "You coming to Shaun?"

I got up off my bed and followed her. Shaun was busy putting his jacket on before opening the front door to our dorm room.

"Duh, I'll meet ya'll there I'm gonna leave now." He said before walking out into the hallway.

I put my arms around Jessica. "Don't be so nervous Jess."

"Oh I don't think I'm the one who's nervous." She said moving my hands away. "You're the one who's gotta face your ex."

  Funny part is she was right, I was practically about to explode right now. I mean Danielle and I haven't seen eachother in while but I hope we can remain good friends. I mean I like her as a person still it's just not as a girlfriend. I was just hoping it wasn't going to be awkward because that's not what I need in my life right now. Jessica and I eventually made our way downstairs and across the street to the pizza place known as Josie's. I got a text from Isiah, Quinn's brother, that he'd be meeting us there too. When Jessica and I got there I saw Quinn sitting at the bar looking up at one of the TVs. I also saw Isiah and Shaun sitting next to him but I didn't see any sign of Danielle. I just ignored it thinking maybe she chickened out or something. I approached them and that's when Quinn looked over at Jessica and I.

"Aye look who decided to show up." Quinn said throwing his hands up.

"Finally found the balls to come here did ya Peterson?"

"Yeah I found them right next to your scholarship." He said before we shook hands and patted each other on the back.

"How you been Isiah?" I patted him on the back and shook his hand. "I haven't fucking seen you in a while either, you never leave your room."

"That's cause I'm busy worrying about actual school stuff, like studying." Isiah said.

"Hey I study too." I pointed at Shaun and Jessica "Ask Shaun, it was him and Jess that interrupted me so I could come over here."

"Oh I haven't even met Jessica before." Quinn said standing up out of his seat. "Where are my manners? I'm Quinn." He said holding out his hand.

"Jessica or Jess as Josh likes to call me." Jessica said shaking his hand.

I sat down next to Shaun. "I have a knack for nicknames apparently."

"Yeah for chicks, I can't remember the last time you had a nickname for any of us." Shaun said.

"What are you talking about? I call you an asshole at least once a day, doesn't that count?"

"Oh haha very fucking funny." Shaun said taking a sip of his beer.

I looked over across the bar at Quinn. "So Quinn, how do you like the fucking amazing place that is FSU?"

"I've only been here for an hour so I guess it's nice. Danielle and I had to unpack our shit in our rooms first so I haven't even got a feel for this place yet." Quinn said.

"Yeah speaking of Danny, where is she?"

"Why does it matter?" Jessica asked sitting down next to me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's just a question."

"To be honest I don't know, she said she'd meet Isiah and I here once she was done unpacking." Quinn said.

"Oh there she is." Isiah said.

  I turned around and there she was standing in the doorway of the sports bar. That's when I noticed a very special song was playing from the jukebox, Faithfully by Journey. It was the song Danielle and I slow danced to on our first date. I could tell she noticed the music too by the look in her eyes. We had been staring at eachother for what felt like hours, it wasn't until Jessica turned my head to face her that I snapped back into reality.

"Hellooo Josh." She said.

I shook my head. "Yeah what is it?"

"I've said your name like four times already." She said snapping her fingers.

I smiled and tried to hide the obvious feeling of anxiety. "I'm sorry, this song is really loud."

"Sure it is." She said looking over at Danielle who had walked over to us

"Took you long enough to get here." Quinn said hugging her.

"I had to get ready." Danielle said pulling away.

"For what? This is a sports bar." Isiah said leaning back in his seat to look at her.

"I think we all know why." Shaun said taking another sip of his beer.

"Oh shut up Shaun." Danielle said sitting in the seat between Shaun and I.

"Oh come on Danny we all know about the elephant in the room. I'm just saying it out loud." Shaun said.

"What? The fact that I like to look nice when I leave my dorm room?" She asked turning her back to me to face him.

"No it's who you're tryna to look nice for." Shaun said.

"Who?" She asked leaning towards him. "You? What's wrong with that?"

"What?" Shaun asked.

I leaned back in my seat to look at both of them. "I'm sorry what?"

"Josh?" Jessica asked grabbing my shoulder.

I looked back at her with a look or worry. "What?"

"Ok what the fuck is happening right now I'm so lost?" Quinn asked holding his head in his hands.

"I mean I haven't seen you in forever Shaun so excuse me for trying to look semi-attractive." Danielle said leaning her head on his shoulder.

"No it's not that I just..." Shaun trailed off when he looked at me. "Nevermind. You look good though." He added before returning his attention back to the tv.

I threw my arms up in frustration. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Ok so ANYWAY did you guys hear about that party going down in the dorm hall this weekend?" Isiah asked clearly trying to change the subject.

"Since when did you know anything about parties?" Quinn asked looking over at him.

"You learn fast here, plus I've always been meaning to go to one so." Isiah said shrugging his shoulders.

"Well I'm down, what about you Quinn?" Shaun asked.

"I don't know man, I mean there's gonna be girls there probably and I don't know if I'm ready to get back out there yet." Quinn said staring off into the distance.

I budded in. "I mean you could just show up to have a good time. I'm probably gonna go and I have a girlfriend. There's more to parties than just girls Quinn."

"Is there?" Quinn asked looking over at me. "I feel like that's the only reason most guys go. I don't know I just don't wanna deal with it."

"Just sleep on it." Isiah said patting him on the back. "It's not till the weekend so you got plenty of time."

"I mean I'm going Quinn, are you really gonna let your sister go out unsupervised?" Danielle asked leaning over Shaun's shoulder.

"Don't even pull that card, you're older than me remember." Quinn said shaking his head.

"Well you're going." She demanded before looking up at Shaun. "What about you Shaun?"

"I just said I was going." Shaun said looking down at her.

"I meant with me." Danielle said.

Shaun turned his gaze to me and and sort of nodded his head.

"Oh I mean as long as it's cool with-"

"You don't have to ask my brother for permission." Danielle said before looking over at Quinn. "I'm older, ain't that right Quinn?"

"I wasn't....talking about Quinn." Shaun said still looking at me. "But alright I'll go with you."

"Awesome it's a date then." Danielle said smiling with the fakest grin I had ever seen on her face.

"I mean alright sure." Shaun said.

"Unbelievable." I stood up out of my seat and held my hand out for Jessica. "Let's get out of here Jess."

"What why?" Jessica asked.

"Can we just go please?" I insisted.

"Why Josh you just got here?' Quinn asked.

"Jess and I really gotta get back to the dorm." I lied while pleading Jessica to grab my hand with my eyes. "We've both got shit to do for school."

"Oh alright, I'll see you at that party this weekend." Quinn said.

"Of course, it was good seeing you all, take care."

  Jessica grabbed my hand and before we left I caught one last look at Danielle. I could tell what game she was playing. Trying to make me jealous by asking Shaun out, right in front of me too. I mean two can play at that game that's the real reason I was leaving with Jessica. I was angry at Danielle and the only way I could get her back was with Jessica. Her and I made our way back to my dorm room. Once we got in my room and closed the door I didn't even hesitate to pin Jessica to it and press my lips against hers.

"Whoa somebody's enthusiastic. An hour ago you didn't even want my kisses." She said.

"I'm sorry, I just had to get out of there." I caressed her cheek. "I kept looking at you and the only thing I could think of was getting you alone to myself."

"Are you sure? Because it looked like you were getting jealous over your ex getting with Shaun." She said.

"I am not jealous, how many times I gotta tell you that I'm over her. I just like you, only you."

"Then show me." She said before kissing me.

  I picked her up and laid her on the bed. We made out for a while before falling asleep in each others arms. I later woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of chatter coming from the living room. I sat up and realized I didn't have my pants on so I grabbed a pair of the floor and put them on before pressing my ear to my door. I heard two voices and one of them sounded like Danielle.

  I immediately opened the door and saw Danielle laying on top of Shaun. They looked like they were about to kiss but they both stopped and looked at me. I didn't say anything I just walked past them and grabbed my varsity jacket off its hanger before heading out of the dorm room. I walked down the hallway until I opened the door to the outside courtyard. I took a seat on the stairs and grabbed a cigarette out of the pack in my jacket. I took out my lighter and lit the cigarette in my mouth. Two hits in and the door behind me opened, I was surprised to see it was Danielle.

"Mind if I have some of that?" She asked.

I held out the cigarette for her to take. "I guess not."

"Thanks." She said taking it and putting it in her mouth while sitting down next to me.

"So you wanna tell me what you're up to?"

"I don't know, what do you think I'm up to?" She asked looking at me.

"Never mind." I shook my head. "You've always been like this I don't know why I'm surprised."

"Always like what?" She asked taking another hit from the cigarette.

I scoffed. "Always with the fucking games."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said taking another hit from the cigarette.

"Ok first you get fucking pissed at me for dating Jess. Then next time I see you you're trying to fucking hook up with my roommate Shaun."

"Sounds to me like your jealous." She said raising her eyebrows.

"Oh I'm jealous?" I scoffed. "Then why the hell are you trying to get with Shaun after yelling at me for moving on too quickly? Because that seems very hypocritical."

"Seems to me like you're the only one who hasn't moved on yet." She said tilting her head.

"Oh I have and seeing you pull this shit doesn't make it any better. I still wanted to be good friends Danny but this little act you're pulling isn't helping."

"Is it so hard to believe that I'm trying to be happy with someone else? I mean I've been talking to Shaun for the last couple of weeks." She said.

"I don't want to fight with you Danny, I've done enough of that these last few weeks. If you really like Shaun then go for it but I want to atleast stay friends. I may have wanted to break up, but I never wanted to lose you."

"That's.....I never wanted to lose you either." She said before giving a slight smile. "I don't want things to be awkward between us Josh, I just want things to go back to the way they were before we started dating."

"Oh Danny we both know it can never go back to the way it was, too much has happened since then."

"Yeah.....well I better get back to my room." She said putting out the cigarette on the ground. "I told Shaun I had to get back to get some sleep."

"Alright well get back safe then, I look forward to seeing you at the party."

"Eh I don't think I'm gonna go, I mostly just said I would to get a reaction out of you." She said standing up.

I raised an eyebrow "So you're admitting you tried to make me jealous?"

"Goodnight Joshy." She said before walking away towards the girl's dormitory.

"Knew it."

  I made my way back to my dorm and into my room where Jessica still was fast asleep in my bed. I laid down next to her staring at the ceiling a bit thinking about Danielle. I knew she tried to make me jealous but I could tell there was a part of her that still had feelings for me. I felt guilty for even caring about that because I was supposed to be worrying about my current girlfriend Jessica. I couldn't help but reminisce on the times Danielle and I shared. I mean I really did love her at one point in time, she was my everything. Things change though and so do people, some much for being forever hers.....faithfully.