I felt raw. Aching and raw in a way that wouldn't stop. Like someone had cracked open my chest and scoured my bones and organs violently. It was painful and aching and, just like with my loss of mate and child, I felt like couldn't breathe.

I had sat and watched as Shey and Luka mourned over their daughter. Shey had wailed and sobbed until her voice broke and turned hoarse, clinging to her baby that would never come back. Luka had held them both, rocking them back and forth, no sounds coming from him as he stared off into the darkness with eyes that weren't quite seeing what was in front of him. They sat in the dark of the temple that housed the goddess that had done that to them, had taken that from them.

I watched my Alphas break over the death of their child.

I knew that was a pain one never forgot, never got over. It made my chest throb and ache as I remembered my little Bethany and her death, how her little body looked so small and fragile and unnaturally pale on the coroner's table when I had been taken in to identify them both. I had clung to her and Catherine, as Shey and Luka now clung to Amelia, refusing to let them go. It had taken my father and my two uncles to pull me away from that cold, metallic room, away from the shells of those I had so loved. I felt like I had left my heart in that cold room with them.

It was the last time I had seen them. Catherine's family had barred me and my family from attending their funerals. It was my fault, they said, I did not deserve the peace it would bring. I had agreed. Two days later I had run away, had gone dark, had left reality for the comforting embrace of the darkness that only my wolf could give me.

"Home, Luka. We have to take her h-home." Shey's voice was cracked and broken, nothing but a raw whisper as it shook with the sobs her body was holding back. I looked at her, her face was white and the salt from her tears created red and raw trails down her cheeks. Her face was shallow and sunken in, her hair hung limp around her face. She held Amelia tucked close to her chest before an anguished keening rose up in her chest as she bent her head down, brushing her lips across the little girl's face. "She needs to go home. We need to take her home. She belongs with family, she belongs with L-Lily." She choked on the name, looking up at Luka as if he could make it better, as if he could soothe the burning pain and breathlessness that I knew encased her chest and lungs.

He said nothing I could hear but brushed his lips across her sunken in cheek and held them both closer, held them tighter before he pressed his face into Shey's hair, his shoulders shaking. "She needs to come home. She can't stay here, not here, Luka." Shey's body shook and I closed my eyes slowly, wiping at my own sticky cheeks. I was not unashamed that I had wept for the little life I had called my family, that had called me Uncle Mikey, that had loved with such a passion and depth that you were always left in awe. I wept over a brilliant soul that was taken away from us, from the world. It was a loss that was not easily overcome.

I slowly stood up, using on of the stone pews to get to my feet as my knees and muscles protested the movements. The sky was still dark and I didn't know what time it was but it felt like we had been there for years. I ran my hand through my hair, bunching my hand and tugging on the strands. My chest felt aching and raw and hollow and I knew the feeling wouldn't go away, not for a long while.

"We need to take her home, Luka." Shey gave a keening sound as she pressed her face into Amelia's curls. "Please, Luka." It was a pained and anguished whimper and I closed my eyes against how broken they both looked. I let my hand drop to my side before I stood up straighter. I needed to be strong and I needed to be the rock that Shey and Luka rested on. I could grieve later but right now they needed me.

The creak of the doors opening had me turning around on stiff and uncooperative legs. Ambris stood in the doorway, the scent of rain flowing on the breeze that blew by her. "I understand that this is a difficult time." Her voice echoed slightly in the temple and I found myself stiffening as my eyes narrowed. She didn't need to make this situation any worse with her callous remarks. Luka and Shey did not need that, not now. "But if you wish to go home, the rain has stopped completely and one of the priests has offered to drive you there. To grant you time to grieve with your little female without distraction." The offer was surprising and I looked over my shoulder and I watched as Luka pressed his face into Shey's hair once more.

His entire body shook slightly as he slowly loosened his grip before he bent down and kissed Amelia's pale little cheek. "Let's get our baby home." His voice cracked and the raw anguish that seeped through was nearly enough to start my own grief soaring through me. I fought it back as hard as I could. Luka and Shey needed me to be strong and I would be strong. I could break later but not now.

I moved towards them but Ambris cleared her throat slightly, the action causing me to pause. "Micheal, I need to speak with you for a moment." Her words were low and I slowly turned to look at her, my eyes narrowed but in the dim lighting I couldn't make out much of her expression. "It won't take long." I gave a small nod before heading for her, she stepped out into the moonlight and I followed. The scent of rain and wet earth was heavy in the air and my wolf gave a low whine. He was grieving, the pain was early too much for him. He had lost too much of his family and I did not blame him for his pain, it was mine as well.

She closed the door to the temple as the SUV pulled up front of the temple. The lights seemed almost too bright in the darkness and I squinted against them, looking away from the area they illuminated. "I hope you do not mind but I have something I must show you." Ambris looked me up and down and I frowned slightly, unsure of what she was wanting. She looked... troubled and I knew that spelled nothing good. She gave a small incline of her head before she gestured into the dark. "Please, come with me." She started to trek out into the dark and I followed, unsure of what to feel and unsure if I could trust her.

My boots squelched on the wet grass and on the mud and Ambris' bare feet made little to no sound as she walked but I kept in pace with her. She seemed almost somber as she lead me through the dark and around the buildings. She stopped in front of one that looked like a standard house and let out a heavy sigh. "Mene gives blessings that are sometimes disguised as harsh actions." She looked up at me, that somber look on her face never leaving as she seemed to study me. "You are a compassionate male, Micheal Davis, and Mene has granted a blessing." She said each word carefully, as if trying to convince me of what she was saying. The issue was that I had no idea what she was saying to be convinced of it.

My frown deepened as I studied her like she was me. "I do not need anything from Mene." I just needed to be with my family, needed to carry them over the rocky and dangerous water they now found themselves in. I needed to carry them over the dangerous ocean of grief and deliver them home. I did not need a blessing.

"You need what Mene grants, there is no taking it back once it has been given." She slowly shook her head before she reached out and grasped my hand. She opened it and I resisted the urge to yank it away as she brushed her fingers over my faded bonding line. "She grants blessings that seem harsh but they are what we need most." She looked up at me once more before she let my hand drop back to my side. "Come." She moved to the door and she pushed it open.

I followed her inside the brightly lit building, the light was nearly blinding from being outside in the dark. I wondered why she kept it so bright this late at night. I resisted the urge to ask as she waved me forward and I followed her down the hall. My work boots clunking against the hard wood floor. I felt almost too enclosed as we walked through building. I assumed it was a house but the scent of herbs hung heavily in the air and I could feel the power of Mene saturating very inch of the space and it rubbed at me unpleasantly. If you were not born for Altia, you did not find the moon's magic soothing, you found it unsettling.

I rubbed at the bonding line on my palm, pressing down on it hard as the hollow pain in my chest flared again, threatening me with tears. Since Ambris had touched it there was a curious tingle to it that bordered on an itch that I couldn't scratch. I frowned again, pressing my thumb harder into the scar. I didn't need to focus on it, I needed to figure out what was going on and where Ambris had taken me and what it possibly was that she called a blessing.

Ambris stopped before a closed door and looked up at me, her expression imploring me but I didn't know what it was that she wanted. "You are a compassionate male, Micheal, try to see this as the blessing it is." The priestess's voice was just as imploring as her look and I shook my head slightly. My wolf was wolf was pacing restlessly, no longer curled up, something has grabbed his attention and he was agitated.

"Why are we here?" The words were said low and I couldn't help the low growl that followed them as my wolf picked up movement from behind the closed door. Something was building in the air and I was reminded of the night and the lightning and that damned ghost.

"To show a blessing, Micheal. To show you what Mene wishes of you, what she has granted." Her voice was a soothing beacon in the sea of emotional turmoil my wolf and I were the longer we stood in front of the door. I didn't know whether to believe her or not. She had demanded that I accompany her and I could not refuse the Head Priestess but the longer we stood in front of the door the more we wanted to leave and not come back. Something was going to change in my life and it would be done without my permission.

My wolf was silent and wary in the back of my head as he flashed teeth, his confusion and agitation mixing with his wariness as he watched the priestess, trying to gauge her movements and her words that he couldn't understand. "I do not need a blessing, why am I here?" I gestured to the door and Ambris gave a small sigh before she looked up at me.

"Do you know the old ways?" The question nearly made me recoil and I curled my lip up at it, a low rumble of rage building in my chest. We knew the ways that had destroyed so many, that had broken Maricella, that has threatened our Alpha Female and the twins while they rested in her belly. We knew them more than Ambris could tell we did. "They are barbaric and cruel practices that involve breaking your mate to make them more subservient." She grasped her hands together, looking at the door. "Usually it involves isolation. Locking them up in dark pits for months at a time, forcible starvation and dehydration until their mate believes that they are broken enough to come out." She said the words with a soft sort of sadness.

"Gifts from Mene tainted by greedy males. They ruin them, Micheal, break them." She looked up at me slowly, that same soft look of imploring on her face. "They break them until there is nothing left, no soul, just a shell. You can never put them back together right." She twisted her hands together. "No matter what happens in the next few minutes, know that it is a blessing. No matter how it may look at first." She said it, her voice dropping to an even softer tone before she slowly reached out and opened the door.

She stepped inside, pulling the door open to let me in. I narrowed my eyes, not wishing to cross the threshold but Ambris's gaze caught my attention. She looked sad, somber, and weary. "We must pay the price for Mene, we cannot escape it, Micheal, please." I jolted at the small plea, the Head Priestess of Altia was pleading with me and I found myself moving, crossing over the threshold without thinking. My heart wrenched in my chest as the scent of despair and sadness mixed with fresh spring. The room was drenched in it and I inhaled it deeper into my lungs with every breath.

"Ambris?" At the small voice I looked over and there was my ghost. A white robe draped over her small form and a light blue shawl rested on her shoulders. I felt my face pale as I looked at her. Her skin was overly pale, her face almost gaunt but I wasn't quite sure because her dark hair was tangled, hanging in front of it but her gaze was like a punch to the gut. Madness. Broken pieces of her sanity showed in her gaze. We had seen it in numerous wilds and a few unlucky illegal rogues, the wolf and the human jarring the colour of the eyes, swirling together without order and filled with chaos. She and her wolf looked at me through madness, insanity, and chaos.

My heart fell to my feet as I stared at her, Ambris moved around me, heading to the chair the female was sitting in. "I am here, Lilith. You understand what this is, right?" Ambris asked it softly as she pushed a chunk of tangled hair away from the female's face. She gave a small nod, her gaze on me. One minute her irises were a startling and beautiful blue and the next they swirled and shifted with fractured darkness.

"I don't know my own mind." She was looking at me, talking to me. Those eyes went glassy as her entire form shook in her spot on her chair. "He-he took my mind away and broke it, broke me. I c-can't fix it." She trembled like she was terrified of the world around her. She sat bathed in the glow of the lamps around her and I realized that they were numerous in the room, as if she were trying to chase out the darkness and shadows.

My palm shot through with pain as I stared at the female and I clenched my hands tightly, trying to ignore the pain that it had. "He destroyed me." Her voice was soft and lilting but even I could hear the hollow edge of madness it held but even with that madness the sounds of her voice tugged at something within me and my wolf went completely still. The stabbing pain became a painful and hot throbbing and I hissed at it, grabbing at it with my other hand. I pressed my thumb to the faded bonding scar, trying to stop the painful throbbing and from the corner of my eye I watched as Lilith leaned her head forward, hiding behind her tangled hair as she wrapped her arms around herself.

As quickly as it appeared the pain went away and I slowly let my palm go before I froze in horror. The thin, straight line of my bonding scar had turned wider with slightly jagged edges. I stared at it and jerked my head towards Ambris, whose expression was that sombre, imploring look. Sympathy tinged the edges of her expression and my throat went dry as I turned back to the scar. That had been the last thing I had of Catherine, of Bethany. The scar had been my last reminder of the family I had lost.

"Lilith, careful." Ambris said it gently and my gaze turned back to the table. I didn't want to look over there but it was if something had forced me to. I locked my eyes with the female named Lilith. Her eyes were swirling with darkness, the wolf and the human never in balance, thrown into chaos as their mind had broken. However with that broken and mad gaze I felt something shift deep inside of me and my wolf stopped and relaxed as I stared at the mad female.

I watched as she held up her hand slowly, a pink scar that matched the one that now ran across my palm, bisected hers as well. "A b-blessing." She choked the word out and it slammed into me. This mad little female was now my mate. Something had happened and I was tied to the insanity of the female standing in front of me.

I felt a sudden dark and black anger fill me as I stared at her confused and terrified expression. "Why?" I spat the word out and she flinched under my glare and quickly lowered her hand, bringing them both to her stomach, splaying her fingers out over her robe.

"Mene grants us blessings that some times look like harsh actions and cruelty." Ambris said it slowly and I turned my angry gaze to her. The emotion felt thick and sour on my tongue but I couldn't help it. There was a bond tying me to the female that had only the barest hints of sanity. She had replaced those I had lost as if it were that simple, as if I could simply accept it. "You are a compassionate and kind male, Micheal." She stressed the words as she moved closer to the female. "This is Lilith, a blessing." I watched as Lilith hunched forwards, her eyes wide with terror as her hands fisted the fabric of her robe tightly. I could see her knuckles turning white from the tightness of her fists.

"I never asked for a blessing." I said the words slowly, trying to hold onto my anger. I hadn't asked for Catherine to be replaced. I had loved her with every ounce of who I was and I hadn't wanted her memory replaced. I didn't want to lose that last aspect of my family. That thin and faded scar had been my only reminder of Bethany and Catherine and it had been taken away from me. I didn't know what to feel about it, about that.

"Lilith is not your blessing, Micheal." Ambris' words were said just as slowly as mine were and I turned to look at her. Her eyes were filled with compassion and they were slightly glassy as she hovered behind Lilith as if she were afraid the female would fall. "You are hers. Adam was her madness and you are her sanity." I searched her face looking for an untruth but could find nothing but truth in her gaze.

"Micheal?" Lilith's soft voice raced along my nerves and made me perfectly attuned to her exact location in the room. The bond was similar to my bond with Catherine but at the same time it was completely different. I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to response. I turned my gaze, slowly forcing myself to relax, the scowl falling off of my face as I faced her. Her form shook and she looked at me with terror filled eyes. "Are you going to put me in the dark too?" Her voice was so small that I felt a sudden urge to wrap her in my arms. I shook my head, a frown growing on my face.

What had that male done to her to make her ask me that? An image of her chained in a dark pit, alone and terrified filled my mind and I shook my head again. "No. I won't." I might not have asked for her, might not have wanted her but I didn't want her to experience something like that again. No one deserved what the old ways did and she was just another lost and broken soul that their cruelty left in their wake.

Despite my feelings about what had just happened, about what had just taken place, I had a bond with her and I was not a cruel person. I watched as she took small hesitant steps towards me, she kept glancing up at me as if afraid I would snap at her. She stood right in front of me, her gaze straight as she moved the last few steps and pressed herself to my chest. Her entire form shook violently, as if she was terrified I would hurt her and I slowly reached up and rested my hand on her lower back, feeling her tremble underneath my palm.

"The goddess gives as well as takes, Micheal." Ambris said it softly and I looked at her, swallowing hard as Lilith continued to tremble against me, as if terrified I would hurt her. "You are a compassionate male, be her blessing." I watched as she lowered her head slightly and I closed my eyes against the reality of it.

The goddess had taken a life and had given me a second chance. I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat unwilling to go away. Amelia had been taken so that I could be given a second chance. That was a sacrifice I never wanted on my shoulders.

"Be her blessing, Micheal." Ambris' words seemed to come from far away and my eyes burned as I realized there was nothing else I could do.