The sun was nearing it's peak in the sky by the time we reached Fortis. The drive had been long and the phone calls I had to make had been just as. The phone calls to friends and family that brought tears to my eyes as I choked out that we had lost Amelia, that Mene had taken her back. Every one of them had made my chest tight and harder for me to breathe.

Then there had been Lilith.

She was a strange creature, conversation with her went no where, her memory was spotty or non-existent in some cases. She was timid and overly shy and it put me into a weird place mentally. The bond was forced on me but I felt that overwhelming urge to just draw her close and hold her tight until she was soothed from her fears. I looked at the jagged scar that now crossed my hand. It looked forced and unnatural on my palm but it was still there. No matter how Lilith acted, no matter how strange the situation was, no matter how out of balance I felt with this bond, Lilith was by my side and she would be there always.

I still didn't know what to feel about that. I loved Catherine, I still did, nothing would ever change that. I had lost her so suddenly and that was a hole and a pain I would never truly recover from. Lilith was there but with her it was different, she occupied a different space. However it did not stop the fact she as standing in the spot of the mate I had loved and had lost.

I knew it wasn't her fault but that didn't stop the flaring of resentment I felt for it. I never asked for another female, never asked for Catherine to be replaced. Yet there it was, the creature that I never wanted who took the one thing I had left of my previous family. I closed my eyes with a sigh, it wasn't her fault. I told myself that again and again and again. I couldn't take that out on her, I never would take my frustration and resentment out on an innocent party.

I opened my eyes and glanced at Lilith from the corner of them. She was sitting with her knees to her chest as she picked at her nails. It seemed to be an entrenched habit of hers and if I was correct, she would start humming soon. It seemed to be a repetitive cycle she would get into. Her silences were punctuated by picking at her nails and humming to herself. I wondered if it was a self-soothing motion, something that helped calm the chaos that was inside of her mind.

The SUV pulled to a stop and I looked at the large pack house. My gaze was drawn to the group of people that stood outside of it, Gamgam stood in front of them all and she moved towards us. She opened the back door, looking at me, the muscles in her jaw twitching as she clenched her teeth. Her eyes were red and I clenched my jaw as my eyes watered. "They are in the back." I gave a shaky inhale and she gave a sharp nod before moving out of the open door. I looked at the priest up front giving a small cough to clear my throat. "Do you have a way to get home?"

He glanced over his shoulder at me, giving me a small smile. "I'm alright. I have a teleportation ready to go. You go and be with family." I nodded at him and took my seatbelt off. I glanced at Lilith and she started humming a low tone. I sighed as I shifted to look at her fully, or trying too, she was still hiding behind those tangled curls.

The back of the SUV opened up and I closed my eyes tilting my head upwards. "Come now, my pui de lupi. I know this is hard." Gamgam's voice was soft and soothing and Shey whimpered before she coughed. I knew it was a precursor to another round of sobs. "Let her go, my pui de lup. You need to let her go."

"I can't." Shey's voice shook and cracked and I shifted to look into the back and she was clinging to Amelia's her shoulders shaking hard as she pressing her face into Amelia's white curls. She let out a small sob, clinging to Amelia as she pulled her little body to her chest.

Gamgam's eyes were filled with tears as she reached out and touched Shey's leg before grasping Luka's as well. "I know this is hard, believe me I do but you need to let go." Tears slid down her cheeks and Luka gave a shuddering exhale before he pulled Shey's arms from around Amelia while she let out a keening sound of distress.

"I know. I know." Luka pulled her to sitting and held her tightly as the keening turned into sobs. She clung to Luka just as tightly as she held onto Amelia.

"I can't, Luka." It was a pleading statement that had my heart wrenching in my chest as I watched her. "Don't make me." She buried her face into his neck as she grabbed the back of his shirt tightly in her hands and another flurry of sobs shook her entire frame.

"Just for a little bit, lubirea mea. Just for a bit."Luka's voice cracked and he held Shey tightly before pushing her away gently. "Carrie." It was said softly and Gamgam was there instantly, grasping Shey gently as she slowly pulled her out of the SUV. Luka gave several shuddering breaths before he leaned over and kissed Amelia's forehead, moving her curls around as if trying to get them to sit properly. "Daddy loves you so much." He whispered it against her skin before he kissed her forehead again, stroking her cheek with his hand. He wiped at his eyes before he pushed himself away from her and got out of the back of the SUV.

I swallowed hard, hating the lump in my throat and the fact it was so hard to breathe. I started up at the roof and blinked my eyes, trying to get the burning in my eyes to go away. "Ezekiel, can you get her and bring her to the temple?" Gamgam's voice was wavering and I once again looked over the back of the seat. Ezekiel's form twisted and shifted before he stood up. His form shook and I met his gaze and he shook his head slightly, his eyebrows pulling low over his eyes as sorrow carved deep lines into his face. He moved closer and gently picked Amelia out of her spot in the back, cradling her close to his chest.

He shuddered out a heavy breath before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her tiny forehead. "Miss you." His voice was heavy and rasping as he muttered it against her skin, brushing his nose across her face, nuzzling her cheek. I knew he was taking her scent deep into his lungs, trying to memorize it. I watched as he walked away before I looked back towards Lilith. She was looking up at me and she hesitantly reached up and touched my cheek. It was an intense feeling to have that bonded touch against my skin. I had forgotten what it had felt like and I resisted the urge to close my eyes and lean into the touch.

"You are sad. Hurt." Her fingertips brushed underneath my eye and I gave a slow nod as her touch retreated.

"Amelia was my family. I didn't want to let her go." I held her gaze, trying to see the female behind the chaos of hr mind but there was only broken and shards of who she used to be. I hastily wiped at my face before exhaling sharply. "We should go inside." I reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt and she gave a slow nod as she watched me through her tangled hair, pulling her shawl tighter around her.

I got out and stretched, ignoring the aching twinge in my muscles as I looked back into the SUV. I gestured for Lilith and she hesitantly moved across the seat towards me. She slowly got out of the vehicle to stand beside me. I looked at her and I was surprised at just how thin she was. She looked like she hadn't eaten well for a very long time. Ambris' words about how her previous mate had kept her in a dark pit and withheld food and water from her made me clench my jaw tightly as my wolf let out a low rumble at the thought.

"Let's go inside." I gestured to the house with my head and she reached out and grasped the bottom of my shirt in her hands, her gaze on the ground. I wanted to step away but I simply sighed and headed for the large pack house.

Who is she? Benji's voice filtered into my head and I glanced at the older shifter.

My new female. Mene had made me her mate to make up for her last one. I was her blessing and I needed to be that blessing for her. Ambris told me that it was what Mene wished of me and I couldn't refuse the goddess, no one could.

He was not kind I take it. He jerked his chin at her, his eyes studying her so intently I was tempted to push her behind me so he couldn't see her. It took all I had not to flash my teeth at him for his intent gaze.

He was an Old Way Alpha. He could take what he wanted from that statement but I needed to get into the house and have a shower. I knew it wouldn't do anything to stop the aching pain in my chest but I knew it might help to clear my mind. "Let's go inside." I pulled my shirt out of Lilith's hands and grasped on of hers firmly in my own as I lead her towards the front door.

I pushed it open and it was eerily silent inside the foyer as I stepped inside. Lilith grasped my hand with her other one and when I looked at her she was looking around with wide eyes. "You will be staying in her with me." I gently squeezed her hand but she didn't respond to the pressure as she continued looking around. "Not a lot of shifters live in here with us. There is a small village about five minutes from here where the pack stays." I lead her down the hallway and towards my room.

"We all chip in to help clean but Gamgam does most of the cooking and meal prep for the pack." I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes but I was pretty sure she wasn't even listening to me as she continued to stare at everything with wide and unblinking eyes. "I need to have a shower, so I need you to stay in my room okay?" I opened my bedroom door, switching on the bedroom light as I led her inside before letting her hand go. It took her a few moments before she let my hand go in return. "Stay here, Lilith." I said it carefully and she gave a small nod before moving further into the room, trailing her fingertips across the dresser top.

I watched her for a moment, trying to see if she was going to listen to me before I closed the bedroom door and headed for the bathroom. I rubbed at my face, wondering what the hell I was going to do about everything that was happening. I slipped into the bathroom, closing the door and flicking on the light. I turned on the shower and pulled the curtain before stripping off my clothes.

I glanced at the mirror, wondering who the male was that was looking back at me. I never liked looking at my reflection. I had changed so much since I had lost Catherine and Bethany. I had been nineteen and now I was nearing thirty, I wasn't that stupid teenager anymore but I also could never seem to recognize the reflection. It was like my life had ended when the two of them died and I felt like I never should have aged.

I looked away and got into the shower. The water was nearly scalding but I ignored it as I scrubbed at my skin, trying to wash away the past twenty-four hours. Tears burned my eyes and I scrubbed my skin nearly raw as I tried to get rid of the ache in my chest. The lump in my throat only grew bigger as I staggered slightly, leaning against the shower wall as the realization that I would never again hold Amelia in my arms or here her little giggles as she and Heidi ran through the grass in the front yard.

She was gone.

My breathing came out in heavy shudders and I felt like I was crumbling as the first sob escaped, tearing at my chest and throat. I closed my eyes tightly as I let the pain out for the little female I had so loved. She was gone and she wasn't coming back. No more lifting her tiny form above my head, no tickling her, no bright smiles. It was all gone. She was no longer there. None of them were. I wouldn't be able to tell Amelia I loved her anymore. I could never tell Catherine and Bethany that I was sorry, that I missed them so fucking much.

My body shook from the force of the sobs that escaped me and I leaned my head against the shower wall and wiped at my face, trying to stifle the sounds that were escaping me. I wanted to tell myself I needed to be strong for Shey and Luka but the truth was that they didn't need me now. They had the pack to lean on and I was allowed to feel, allowed to grieve, for what had been taken away and lost.

I didn't know how long I stood there letting the emotions out but the water had grown tepid and I coughed, trying to clear the lump that still choked me. I rubbed at my eyes, running my hands through my wet hair before I shut the water off. I shook my head, trying to get the majority of water out of my hair before I reached out of the curtain and grabbed a towel from the towel rack. I dried off as best as I could before I wrapped it around my waist and left the bathroom.

I made my way to my bedroom and pushed open the door. The light was still on but Lilith was gone. I heaved out a sigh, trying hard to ignore the shuddering in my chest as I did so. I went to my dresser and pulled out some clothes before I hastily got dressed. I needed to find Lilith before she wandered off too far. My bedroom door was pushed open and I looked over my shoulder as Gamgam walked in, holding Heidi's hand. She looked like the entire world rested on her shoulders and she looked at me with red rimmed eyes.

"Your female is at the temple with Ezekiel, he let me know." Her voice sounded raw and it made my chest tighten all over again and I gave a small cough to clear my throat, not wanting to start the tears all over again. "Heidi wants to see Amelia." Her voice cracked on her name and I pinched my lips together tightly. "I sent Shey and Luka to the temple but they didn't want Heidi to come." I watched as she swallowed hard as I towel dried my hair again. Her throat worked hard as if she was swallowing down tears. "She deserve to say goodbye to her sister." She gently moved Heidi towards me and I nodded, setting the towel on the dresser.

"Unca Mikey, we gunna go see Ahmee, right?" Heidi looked up at me and I nodded as I moved towards her, lifting her up into my arms as the ache in my chest grew. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard before I turned to Gamgam.

"I'll take her. You... you get ready." I reached out, grasping her shoulder as I gave it a small squeeze before I carried Heidi out of the room. Today was going to be hard on everyone in the pack and for everyone that came to be here for Luka and Shey. Heidi and Amelia were loved by a lot of shifter and Amelia's loss would ripple through so many souls.

"Gunna go see Ahmee." Heidi sounded excited and I swallowed again, trying to figure out what to say to her to help her understand just what had happened.

"When we go to see Amelia, Heidi, she isn't going to be able to talk to you." I carried her out of the house and we headed towards the trees.

"Why?" She patted my cheek and I inhaled deeply.

"Amelia died, Heidi. She can't talk, she's gone." I really didn't want to explain the concept of mortality to her but it was inevitable, she had been thrust into the midst of death and she needed to understand and be taught about it.

She tilted her head. "Why?"

"You know how Amelia was different than you?" We moved into the trees and I carefully chose my footing, trying to distract myself from the conversation we were having.

Heidi nodded quickly. "She was part of the moon."

"Yes and the moon wanted her back, so she took her." I looked upwards, staring into the trees as I carried Heidi through them. I wanted the temple to appear and the conversation to be over but I knew we still had a fair ways to walk.

"But Ahmee needed to stay." Heidi cocked her head to the side and I sighed.

"She couldn't, Heidi. Mene took her and because of that Amelia died. She's gone." My voice cracked on the on the last word and I gave a small cough, trying to clear my throat against the sudden lump it now had.

"She's gone?" Heidi frowned and I reached up, brushing the backs of my fingers down her cheek.

"Yes, she's gone, not coming back." The lump was growing worse and my eyes were starting to burn again.

"Oh. Okay." Her expression turned pensive and a silence fell as we continued to make our way to the temple. She patted my face again to get my attention and I hummed at her in acknowledgement, not trusting my voice. "Can I play with Ahmee tomorrow?" The question made my heart lurch and an intense wave of sorrow to wash over me. She didn't understand what it was that had happened.

"No, Heidi." My voice cracked worse and tears welled up in my eyes. "You can't play with Amelia anymore. She's gone because she died." I was saved from hearing her answer as we entered the clearing for the temple. I could see Shey and Luka standing outside of the door and my heart sank as I saw that Shey was shaking her head.

"I ca-can't, Luka." Her voice shook and trembled as her voice broke on a saw. "I can't se-see her like tha-that. Not my ba-baby." Luka was holding her arms, trying to talk to her but even I could tell she wasn't really there. "My baby, Luka." Her words devolved into hysterical sobbing and she buried her face into his chest and Luka wrapped her up tightly in his arms, his own shoulders shaking as he tried to soothe her through his own pain.

I walked up to them and reached out and grasped Luka's shoulder as I moved past him, giving it a squeeze to remind him I was there before I pushed open the temple door. It closed with an echo behind me and Heidi wiggled in my arms and I set her down. I watched as she moved towards the front of the temple where Amelia lay on the altar. Ezekiel was standing beside it, some dirty jeans thrown on. "See Ahmee, Unca Kiel, up please." She reached up at him and he lifted her up, setting her on the altar beside Amelia.

I glanced over and spotted Lilith sitting in the pews, her knees to her chest as she stared froward. I moved towards her, carefully sitting on the pew beside her as I watched as Heidi touched Amelia with a pensive expression on her face. She picked up Amelia's hands and played with her fingers before playing with her curls. "Ahmee's gone..." Her frown seemed to deepen before she looked towards Ezekiel, "She's not here, she's empty." She looked back at her twin, gently patting her cheek. "Ahmee? Wake up, Ahmee." When she didn't get a response she looked towards me. "She's gone, Unca Mikey." She looked so confused I felt like my heart was going to break in my chest as I watched her try and figure out what had happened.

"I know, Eidi-oh, Mene took her and we can't have her back. She's gone, she died." I let out a shuddering breath and I felt slim fingers creep into my hand. I glanced towards Lilith but she wasn't looking at me as she tightened her grip on my hand.

"But I miss her." There was a desperate sort of sound that came from Heidi as she said it and I lowered my head, unable to look at her as she came to the realization that Amelia was gone. "I miss her. She can't go. Wake up, Ahmee." Her voice warbled and the tears were soon to follow as she started crying. I gave Lilith's hand a small squeeze, feeling oddly grateful she was there, that she was holding onto me. I felt like she was grounding me to earth when everything around me was crumbling and falling into the abyss that was building in my chest.

"She takes them so little." Lilith's voice sounded oddly hollow and when I glanced at her she was still looking towards Heidi and Amelia and where the sunlight was encasing the little girls. Heidi was laying beside Amelia now, resting her head on Amelia's chest as she held her as tight as she could. "Takes them so little." I squeezed her hand gently and she slowly looked at me, those swirling irises drawing me in. "Find the light in the dark, Micheal." She said it calmly before she turned her head back forwards. "She takes but she can give. Find the light in the darkness." She nearly whispered it out and I leaned forward, resting my forehead against the pew in front of us.

The door opened and Shey's muted sobbing entered my ears and I closed my eyes tightly. It was hard to find the light in the heavy shroud of death that encased us all. There was nothing but dark so I didn't know what Lilith was referring to as Luka and Shey made their way to the altar that held their lost future.

Some darkness just couldn't be brightened.