I was stuck in some place cold and grey. I wasn't sure how long I had been stuck there bit Lilith's words still rung in my ears. I didn't want to leave her, I truly didn't. I needed to be with her, to protect her. I didn't know if Adam was dead, I hoped he was, but I needed to know for sure. I needed to make sure she was safe but I was stuck here. There was no escape, I couldn't move, I couldn't really think. I was stuck.

It was cold, so cold, the grey fog was around me and it sunk that cold deep into my bones. It was strange place to be in, time seemed meaningless and I had no idea how much of it had passed. I didn't know why I was stuck where I was, I didn't know if I had died or what. I didn't feel dead and I didn't think death looked like that. I couldn't really move, or perhaps I could and everything was the same everywhere I looked.

Micheal

The whisper seemed to echo around me and I winced at it. I didn't know who was calling me. I needed to return to Lilith, to make sure she was safe and taken care of. It was what I had been put into her life for, it was my duty. Even then I didn't want to leave her alone. I wanted to be there with her to reassure her that everything was going to be okay, that it was alright. Adam had fucked me up, he did, and I didn't want her last memories of me to be so horrible. I didn't want her last moments with me to be filled with such pain, violence, and blood. I wanted to make it better, to soothe that away and let her know it was okay, that it was fine and would be fine.

Micheal

The call seemed to become more insistent and I wanted to shift, to move to try and see but I wasn't sure how or if I was already doing so but simply couldn't tell. I didn't like where I was, I didn't like being stuck in the cold, grey nothing. I didn't like not knowing what was going on or why. I didn't like not knowing how much time had passed me by. I needed to get back to Lilith, needed to make sure she was okay.

"Micheal." The voice became clear and distinct and I felt like my heart dropped into my stomach as the fog seemed to recede, showing someone I never thought I would see again.

"Catherine." It came out on a gasping sort of whisper, as if I couldn't find enough air in my lungs to truly speak. She looked just how I remembered her, right from her blond curls, to her golden freckles across her nose, to her figure she always called boyish but I called graceful. It was her, right in front of me. She seemed to almost glow as well, a faint golden glow that surrounded her.

She looked distraught and she wrung her hands together, a gesture that was so familiar it was like a punch to the stomach. She was just like she had always been. It hurt that I had almost forgotten what she looked like, sounded like. "I'm so sorry, Micheal." Her voice cracked and she looked at me, her blue eyes wet. The colour was so distinctive but I was struck with how different their colour was to Lilith's. Hers were a light blue, so clear it was like looking at a light blue sky, it was comforting in a way. Lilith's were darker, almost a more vivid shade, a shade of blue that was almost captivating in its brilliance.

"I tried to tell her but things don't always get through the way they should. I was hurting her and I couldn't get it out. I am so sorry, this was all my fault." She hastily wiped at her eyes and I shook my head immediately but she lifted her hand, as if sensing I wanted to interject. "No, Micheal. I am so sorry. Everything is messed up and she is so mad." The glow seemed to brighten around her and I wanted to speak, wanted to tell her how sorry I was, how much I missed her and Bethany. I wanted to tell her this wasn't her fault, that there was no way this was her fault.

"I can't believe what has happened. I tried so hard to tell her. I did but the veil doesn't always work how you think it should." She rubbed at her face, before she crossed her arms over her chest. I knew that gesture, it was showing how insecure she was at the conversation, how vulnerable she was. She was so young. Looking at her was like stepping back in time, back to when we were just shy of turning twenty. That seemed like a lifetime ago. "She gave me this time, Mene did. So I could talk to you." She looked at me, looking so hurt and dejected and vulnerable that it broke my heart.

I stared at her, unsure of how I should approach her, how I should talk about everything that happened. I had felt this guilt deep inside me about being torn between Lilith and her. How did one approach that? "Catherine..." I swallowed hard, looking at her, hoping she wouldn't hate me. "I-I don't- I am sorry about the fight. It never should have happened. I should have kept my mouth shut." The guilt for that still hung off of me and Catherine shook her head.

"It was a stupid fight between two young people who were trying to figure out life together while trying to raise a baby. Stupid fights happen, Micheal." She pushed her blond hair back from her face as she shook her head. "I never should have left the house that night. That is on me but none of us are responsible for the accident." I wanted to argue with that but I held my tongue. "It was an accident that took us away from you, no one is responsible for that." She lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "Perhaps if you want to blame anything, blame fate for that." She seemed to study me and I gave a faint nod. I wasn't quite sure if I was ready to agree with her but I did appreciate that I got to discuss it with her.

I swallowed again, looking at her. I knew I had to bring up the situation with Lilith and it was hard for me to do so. This was the best time to bring it up, to work through it all but I was feeling almost cowardly. However I inhaled deeply, knowing I needed to get it over with. "I know we need to... talk about... Lilith." I was floundering and I knew it, anxiety and guilt were ripping through me about the conversation we were going to have..

"She is a sweet female who has been tormented for years. What about her, Micheal?" She seemed almost confused by what I had said, that I was bringing her up at all.

"At the end... when we both die... I can't leave her behind, Catherine, but I can't leave you and Bethany either. I am torn right down my soul because of this. Torn between you and her." I stared at the female I lost so long ago and she pressed her hands to her hips, her expression twisting suddenly with irritation.

"Who says you need to do such a foolish thing like choose between us?" She spat the words at me with a surprising amount of vitriol. "Do you think so little of me that I would be jealous of her? That I would demand you leave her behind? I would much rather walk across alone than to do that, Micheal. When you both come to greet the goddess to walk over I will embrace her like a sister and we will walk over together." Her eyes seemed to almost shimmer as she looked at me, anger making her cheeks flush. "She is taking care of you, she is loving you because I cannot. We will walk over, hand in hand, the four of us, how it is meant to be. I love you. I do but you are so fucking dense sometimes. You are drowning in this guilt and if you hurt her with it, I will be walking over with her and not you." She nearly vibrated with her anger and I was slightly shocked.

I blinked at her, pretty sure my mouth was gaping. "You don't... you don't care?"

"No." She shook her head, her arms dropping to her sides. "She needed someone to help her, Micheal. She was broken and torn and destroyed by Adam. I saw what he had done to her and she needed someone and I am so happy it's you." I stared at her, soaking in her words and the calm acceptance that she had. I could feel the guilt loosening in my chest, as if it were finally ready to let go. "You are a loving and kind male, Micheal. The core of your being is pure compassion and I wouldn't trust Lilith to anyone but you." Her eyes filled with tears and she swallowed as that glow started to grow.

She looked over her shoulder before glancing back at me. "I'm so sorry but I have to go. Our time is up. I will see you again, both of you." She shifted and her cold fingers touched my face and she brought herself closer to me. "Love her, Micheal, have a family, be happy with her." She kissed my cheek, her lips icy against my skin before she pulled back, brushing her thumbs against my cheeks. "Live for her." Her touch left my skin and it was like she was pulled away, disappearing into the cold fog. I wanted to call out for her, to say goodbye but I watched as the grey fog started to darken. It turned black and I felt like I was suddenly free falling. I was falling down.

Down.

Down.

~~~~

I woke up with a start, gasping for air as I did so. I felt disorientated and out of sorts with where I was and what was happening. "Welcome back to the land of the living." At the words I looked over, the Head Priestess was leaning against the counter behind her as she cut into an apple.

"What's going on?" I blinked, sitting up slowly, my stomach twinging with pain, like a faint agony ripped through the muscles. I pressed a hand to it with a wince.

"Adam tried to kidnap Lilith, you took offence and attacked him, he nearly killed you, Lilith took offence and then killed him." She ate the chunk of apple she had cut off before glancing at me once more. "Mene interfered and I was brought into ensure you survived and that Lilith had an advocate for when Adam's brother came making his demands. Charming male he is." I could almost taste her disdain as she said it.

"Where is Lilith?" I looked around, giving another wince as I pressed my hand harder to my stomach. My muscles ached and twinged with pain as I moved. I wanted to see her to make sure she was okay.

"She is painting with her therapist. The female said it wasn't healthy for her to linger in morose moods and sadness and hanging around you while you were stuck in between was negatively affecting her mental space. I presume she will painting something black with red mixed in. I'm not entirely sure how such art would work so I am merely guessing." She gave a shrug before slicing off another bit of apple and eating it. I nodded and shifted, wanting to get off the cot and she cleared her throat. "Stay there. The doctor wanted to check you over. I would say the healers but they are resting. Saving you was an exhausting process so I don't blame them." I stared at her, unsure of exactly what to think about what she was saying and her tone. I couldn't exactly get any sort of read on her but there was a thought in the back of my head that she was making fun of me.

She gestured at me with the apple. "Did you enjoy your time in the land between life and death? Was it enlightening?" Her words were confusing for exactly half a second as everything Catherine said flowed into my mind. I blinked rapidly, processing it all before I slowly slumped back into the infirmary cot. "You learn what you needed to?" I kind of tuned her out as I reflected on what had been said. I felt a sudden wave of relief that nearly had my laughing. I didn't have to choose. I knew people had told me that before but hearing it from Catherine seemed to actually get through to me. As Catherine said, I was seriously dense at times. I always had been.

However, regardless of how long it took me, it had sunk in. I still had my issues, I did. I knew there would still be guilt for the accident, for the fight, but the guilt I felt between Catherine and Lilith was gone. Catherine had been very adamant about me letting it go. I didn't doubt for a moment she would do as she said and walk over with Lilith and not me if I hurt her with it. It seemed so strange that it took Catherine telling me it was okay and to let it go but that is what I had needed. I had been holding onto her for so long that now that I could let it all go the relief was almost overwhelming.

"Well?" Ambris said it expectantly and I glanced at her before I nodded. "Good. You don't want to have to go through what I do if the goddess wished to see you to knock the lesson through your particularly thick skull." She took another slice of the apple, nibbling on the skin of it as she seemed to watch me. She looked almost speculative as her eyes narrowed at me.

"What?" I frowned, not particularly liking the intensity her look had as she seemed to almost study me as if I were a particularly interesting bug she had find.

"Just contemplating your reaction to certain things." She finished off her slice of apple and I blinked, feeling confused. She made no sense and there was still that particular feeling in the back of my head that she was laughing at me. That thought was only furthered as she gave a slight smirk, slicing off another bit of apple. "The doctor will be here soon to look you over. Then your parents will arrive. They drove through the night after Alpha Luka phoned them about your condition." She gave a small shrug, eating the bit of apple. "They were only half home when they got the call. I don't understand it. There isn't much they can do about it anyway so there is no need to come at all." There she was, the rather socially inept Head Priestess I was more familiar with.

I gave a light scoff and immediately groaned as my stomach ached with the movement. I rubbed at it with a heavy wince, leaning back against the cot's pillow as I ran my hand through my hair. I hoped that the aching would go away soon. I wasn't quite used to being in pain, I doubted a shifter ever truly was. I stared up at the ceiling as I shifted on the cot. I massaged my stomach wondering when Doc Howard would be coming because I really wanted to go and check on Lilith.

The door opened and I turned my head to look at the newcomer. "Any change in my patient?" Doc Howard looked at his clipboard and Ambris gave a rather amused snort.

She gestured to me almost lazily. "He's awake and grumbling."

At that I threw her a dark look. "I'm not grumbling." I had barely said anything to her at all, so the fact she was telling him that was a lie.

"You are mentally. I can practically hear it." At that I was positive she was fucking with me. There was no way that she was not doing it to laugh at me silently.

I simply glowered at her and turned back to Doc Howard as he came over to the cot. "Glad to see you back with us. You were out for over twelve hours and we were getting concerned." He grabbed his pen light and lifted my chin before waving the bright light in front of my eyes. "Good response." He pushed my hand away from my stomach and pressed on the area so hard I nearly yelped at the pain. He made a small humming sound. "Jason said pain would be expected. You need to stretch out the muscles and work through it." I glowered at him darkly as he pulled his hand away. "All in all, you are good to go." He seemed completely unbothered by my death glare as he moved away from me.

"And so it begins." Ambris muttered it out and I barely had time to look over at her before a loud commotion caught my attention. I could hear it was coming from the foyer and I sat up with a frown.

"Micheal!" At the loud and rather frantic shout I felt my muscles tightening and I grimaced at the pain it brought. That sounded like my mother. I shifted so I was leaning against the back of the cot and let out a sigh right as she and my father burst into the infirmary. I gave them both a half smile as my mum practically threw herself at me, looking frantic and panicked.

"I'm okay." I gave her a hug, wincing as the movement twinged my stomach.

She clung to me, her breaths shuddering out of her. "What happened?" She pulled back, grasping my face as she looked me over. My dad joined her, grasping my hand and squeezing it, his worry evident as he looked me over.

"Lilith's old mate showed up. It did not go well for me nor him but I'm okay. Fully healed." I squeezed my dad's hand as my mum kissed my face, relief and worry vibrating her form.

"That was fucking terrifying, Micheal. Please refrain from doing that again." My dad's voice was gruff as he let my hand go to brush some of my hair from my face. I nodded, I couldn't argue with that. "Do you know how that bastard managed to find her?" I gave a sigh and shook my head. I didn't know how it happened and I didn't know where to begin to find out who had betrayed her like that. It made me angry, so angry. My wolf shifted in my head, the first movement he had shown. He seemed tired and I didn't blame him but his anger slowly flowed through to me. He was just as angry as me at the thought of whoever it was that had betrayed Lilith.

"We will find out, don't worry." My mum sat on the cot beside me with an almost sad look in her eyes. "We found you again and I thought we had lost you." She hugged me again and I returned it, doing my best not to call attention to the fact her breath was shuddering out of her, as if she were trying not to cry.

"It won't happen again. He's dead." I couldn't think of anyone else who would want to hurt me, let alone kill me. So I think we were fine on that front. Adam was gone, he was dead so there were no more real threats to Lilith and I at the moment. "I'm okay, we will be okay." I rubbed her back and she let me go, wiping at her eyes as my dad rubbed her shoulder.

"I'm half tempted to move us here to prevent this from happening again." My dad gave me a look and I shifted, pressing my hand to my stomach as I did so.

"I wouldn't complain about that if you did but I know your life is in Inviligo." It was where my family had always been from. Generations of my family had been from that pack so I wouldn't blame them if they didn't actually move to be with me.

"It is but if it kept you from being murdered or killed we would do it." He grasped my shoulder and I nodded. I didn't blame him for that thought. "We will be staying for a while though, just to make sure you and Lilith are fully okay." That was almost surprising but I held my tongue. If they wanted to stay to put their minds at ease, that was fine with me. I wasn't going to complain about being with my parents for longer. The week hadn't seemed near long enough with them so despite the attack, I was kind of grateful to spend more time with them.

I cleared my throat slightly. "Works for me." I gave them both another smile. I didn't like what it was that brought them here but I appreciated them being here all the same.

"You need to get up and stretch those muscles. You are going to be stove up if you don't." Doc Howard's voice was firm and I nodded as my mum got off the cot. I shifted and grimaced as I put my legs over the edge and got to my feet. I leaned against the cot and gave a heavier grimace as I grasped my stomach.

"What damage did he do?" I had never really been hurt so badly before that I required a healer so I didn't really understand how it all worked. I didn't know what was normal and what wasn't

"A lot. So you being achy isn't out of the norm. Just move around more to work it all out and you will be okay." He sounded distracted so I simply nodded and forced myself to stretch. It was painful and I bit back a grunt due to it but I pushed through it.

"Brace yourself, male." Ambris sounded amused and I threw a look at her right as there was a small cry. I didn't have time to respond as I suddenly had Lilith in my arms, the force of her hitting my chest sending me back onto the cot. She clung to me tightly, her fingers digging into my back as she gave a shuddering sob.

"It's okay. It's okay." I pushed all the pain out of my mind as I held her close, just holding onto her as she sobbed. I smoothed my hands over her, checking her over as best as I could as she clung to me. The fact she was safe and in my arms was enough to make everything feel better. "It's okay. I'm right here, Lilith." I buried my face into her hair and simply pulled her as close to me as I could. I kissed the top of her head, unable to stop myself. "It's alright." She shuddered and cried and I found my own eyes feeling a bit wet.

I could only imagine how terrified she had been, nearly getting taken by Adam, watching me almost die, and then attacking Adam herself. That wasn't something she could have come from unscathed. It hurt me that she had to go through it at all. I wanted to protect her from the world, from Adam, from everything that would hurt her. That was what I had been put into her life for and I did feel like I had failed in that.