Getting back to campus is even worse than the drive home because I have become so upset with my brother that I can't even look at him anymore. I know that it's not all his fault and even some of it is my fault that this weekend went by so awfully but I can't help but want to blame him for everything.

I just wanted him to stand up for me with our family. He didn't have to tell them the entire truth, but just something so that I wasn't getting ganged up on by myself against three people that don't know when to leave things alone.

Yesterday after I had returned home from spending some time with Josh in the old diner, my parents were very upset at me. Not just for ditching their party early but also for being rude, yelling, making a scene, not telling them what was going on in my life (they call it lying), and I just sat there and took all of their nagging. Jesse didn't come home until late, probably to avoid the whole mess.

Jesse says that he feels bad about yesterday, he's tried apologizing but I kept my headphones on with music blasting the entire time. I couldn't hear a word he said the entire way back. When I get to the apartment, I put all of my stuff back in my room and then I make a bee line for Clayton's room. I want to know if he told Bella what's been going on or if I have to suck up what I have left of my pride to tell her myself.

When I knock on his door and he answers, I'm immediately given my answer. His left eye is swollen and a dark purplish color and he looks a bit miserable.

"You told her," I realize because I know that Bella probably would have given him a shiner after learning that he's been cheating on me for so long. I'm fairly confident that she's okay with him being gay so it's definitely not because of that. Her mother has gotten harassed in our town for being vocal about gay rights and other left-wing agendas so I can't imagine that Bella would ever have a problem with anybody ever being gay.

"Yeah," He sighs. "I told her. Didn't take it very well."

"Clearly."

"I heard you had a shit weekend too," He says, stepping away from the door so that I can enter his studio apartment. I don't want to go into his apartment but he's already walking away from the door so I go inside and shut it behind me. It's a small, messy apartment that smells like burnt garlic bread. 

"Jesse told you?"

He nods. "Jesse. Brianna, your mother, my mother, my grandmother. Yeah, my phone's been blowing up all day. My dad's been sending me a text every hour about how infidelity is a sin."

"They cornered me and Jesse didn't have my back. I didn't have a choice," I explain. "Not that I owe you anything."

"I know," Clay says. "Thanks for not telling them everything."

I was expecting a lot more anger from him because I told my parents about his cheating, which was basically telling his parents too because news travels so fast in that town. Maybe Bella knocked some sense into him when she gave him the black eye.

"Do you have some time to talk?" He asks. "I know you're probably tired, but we haven't really discussed everything and I want to explain some things."

Thankfully, I don't have to answer him due to the screaming down the hall that interrupts us. Of course I don't want to have a sit down discussion with Clay about his serial cheating. What could possibly need to be discussed?

"I think Bella found Jesse," I say. "I'm going to go make sure she doesn't commit a crime."

Without letting him respond, I leave him in his room and go down the hall where the shouting is coming from.

"And another thing," Bella is saying but when she hears the door shut behind me, she looks over at me at the same time that Jesse does.

"Oh, good. Wren is here," Jesse springs up from the couch, his skin is pale white and clammy. "Bella is here to see you, I'll see you guys later."

"No you don't, you motherfucker," Bella snatches his arm and throws him back onto the couch.

"Hey, Bella." I walk slowly into the room.

"Why isn't he dead yet?" Bella asks me. "After what he's done to you, why haven't you murdered him?"

"Well, he's my brother," I remind him slowly. "And I know the whole Caine and Abel thing but we're not in the bible so that's not a defense."

She turns her glare back in his direction. "How the hell do you live with yourself? You pathetic little weasel."

"I get it, Bella," Jesse snaps at her. "I fucked up. I promise you can't make me feel worse than I already do about the situation."

"You want to bet?" She starts walking toward him with her fist raised, but I catch her before she can make contact. 

"Okay, okay. Let's go talk in my room, okay?" I suggest and then look to Jesse. "Just go to Clay's room for a while."

He looks annoyed by my suggestion, but also terrified of Bella, so he takes my advice and hurries out of the room before Bella stops listening to me.

"Why didn't you let me hit him?" She complains with her face still red with anger. "It felt so good when I hit Clay. I think I actually felt his bones crunch."

I can't stop myself from laughing. "I love you, psycho."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I can just shrug. "It's humiliating. I can't say the words out loud without feeling like I'm about to dissolve. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm so sorry you've been going through this on your own." Bella wrapped me in an eye-popping hug. "I never would have thought they were capable of something so heinous, either one of them."

Once in my room, I throw myself onto the bed. "I know."

"Jesse and Clayton. Unbelievable. I want to set them on fire."

"I know. Did he tell you it's been going on for over two years? Most of our relationship was a lie," I tilt my chin to look at her. "Did you ever see any red flags? Like, what did I miss?"

"You didn't miss anything," Bella insists, sitting on the edge of my bed. "Please don't beat yourself up about that. They are just scary good manipulators. That's not your fault. I think somebody's calling you. Who's Shaw?"

I let out a loud groan. I'm so not in the mood to deal with him after our weird conversation on Friday. "Just ignore it."

"So you have been sleeping with somebody," She realizes.

"Yes," I mumble. "And he's an asshole and it probably won't happen again so it doesn't really matter anymore."

She's quiet for a while, which surprises me. I want to tell her everything about Shaw, about what happened with Josh, about all that has happened that I couldn't tell her about because I was keeping Jesse and Clayton's secret.

"How'd you meet him? I have so many questions, I want to know everything," She insists.

"I'll start with the end so that I don't explain the whole story when it's probably over anyway," I mumble and then I go into the conversation that I had with Shaw on Friday and how he ended the conversation by making some joke about doggy style. The joke would have been funny if it wasn't said in malice, just to be a dick. I had let my unwarranted jealousy show just a little bit and he felt like he had to knock me down because of it.

"Okay, he seems like a dick," Bella decides after I've told her the story.

"Yeah, I know," I sigh. "And we only slept together twice so it's not like we are inseparable or anything. It was just a casual thing."

"But if you were feeling jealous, I don't think that you should just give up because that means that you like him," She informs me.

"It doesn't matter," I shake my head at her. "He probably is only with me because I'm so easy. After being neglected by Clay for so long, I'd have sex with just about anybody who thinks that I'm pretty. That's actually precisely what I've been doing. I hooked up with Josh yesterday."

"Oh. Okay." I watch her struggle to process this information. "I don't think that's the best strategy for beginning the healing process."

"I'm not healing, I'm self destructing. And Shaw is great in bed."

"Sure but if you are going to have sex with everybody who thinks that you're pretty, you might want to start the line now because anybody who has ever seen you can see that you're pretty," Bella promises me. "So if you really like him, don't give up so easily but also don't let him treat you like crap."

"Maybe I should just swear off guys forever."

"Maybe just for a little while," She suggests slowly. "You'll be okay. We'll get through this together."

"Thanks, Bell," I sigh. "I know that I'm kind of a disaster right now."

"Well, if you're a disaster, I'm the emergency response team," She informs me with a reassuring smile. A lot is going wrong right now but I'm pretty glad that I have Bella back... she always knows how to fix things, she'll get me through this.