The woman was older than I had imagined as I had quickly ascended the steps to the second floor. When the man had said that his daughter was giving birth, I had assumed her to be closer to my age. But she was more my own mother's age. The realization made my heart sink, my limbs tingling as I tried to catch my breath and focus on what I could see in the tiny, dimly lit room. 

She was lying flat on the bed, soaked in sweat, gripping the homespun cloth tick beneath her. I felt her undulating belly, sensing Tola and the innkeeper enter the room behind me. 

"The babe must be turned," I stated. 

I had seen this once before with my mother when one of our servant girls gave birth. The child was at an odd angle. There was no knowing if it still lived, but the mother could be saved if I did this right.

"This will hurt," I warned gruffly. "I need you two to hold her down."

Tola and the man did as they were told, taking their places at the head of the shabby bed. I brought a greasy candle down from a nearby mantle piece and squinted to see if she was dilating. She was ready to give birth, it was just the child was stuck. But first the babe needed to be turned. 

With a deep breath, I placed one hand on her belly then the other inside.  "This is going to hurt, but it will be fast. Once the babe is turned, I need her off the bed quickly so I can catch the child. It will come out faster that way."

The old innkeeper was green in the face. His daughter's eyes were glazed with exhaustion and pain, her lips cracked. I nodded to her and she nodded back. At least the woman was coherent. I pulled and pushed, the babe shifted, and woman gave a ragged scream. But it was done.

"Now!" 

Tola and the man lifted her off the bed. I managed to kneel as the babe slipped out, the afterbirth quickly falling out after it without leaving any pieces in the woman. If she managed to keep from getting any infection, she would be safe. But the baby...

"Is it..." Tola didn't dare finish the sentence as she helped the mother onto the bed.

It was a boy, blue in the face, the cord wrapped around it's neck. I unwound it and rubbed the child's chest and back. None of us breathed. A little whimper and then pink touched the cheeks of the child. Then it's chest shuddered, lifted, then again. Full breaths. The innkeeper burst into tears along with his grandson.   

As the fire in my veins slowed to relief, a heaviness came over me. I wrapped the child and handed it to it's relieved mother, the woman instantly having forgotten the pain it took to get her child there. It was such a different scene from the one I had witnessed not a year earlier when my mother had been taken from me.

I was angry all of the sudden. Angry and overwhelmed with grief. I had to get out of there.

"Excuse me," I choked and rushed from the room before either of them could thank me.

I almost stumbled down the stairs. The men were gathered at the tables downstairs. Finan jumped to his feet and Ivar whipped away from the mantle, their expressions grim as they eyed the birthing fluid and blood staining my skirts. I swallowed hard.

"It's a boy, alive," I managed as tears knotted in my throat. "I need to get out-"

I rushed past them and burst out into the heavy downpour in the courtyard beyond. The thunder had past and all that was the left was the steady fall of rain. I closed my eyes and lifted my face, wishing it would wash away the image of my mother drained of blood on her sheets. The little infant brother that I would never know wrapped in gauze and buried beside her. Both of them forgotten within a month when that witch had arrived at our gates.

I clenched my fists till my nails dug into my palms. 

A heavy cloak dropped over my shoulders, then the hood pulled over my head. I looked to see a figure walking away from me through the rain towards the stables. It was Sihtric. He wore no cloak because he had given his to me.

"Come, come now, Rhoswen." It was Osferth, his hands pressed to my shoulders. "Get back inside before you get sick."

I obeyed, wondering after the Dane and his strange kindness. "Where is he going?"

"Sihtric will take care of the horses, he'll need a moment after that," Osferth explained as he led me towards the door. The rain was letting up to a light mist. "He left soon after the woman let out that... unearthly scream. But I am grateful she is well."

He didn't explain why Sihtric had left. I couldn't imagine. Seasoned warriors like these were used to cries of pain and blood on the battlefield. Could a birthing bed be so different?

The innkeeper was beyond elated. We were to stay free of charge, though Turgan whispered to me that we would leave money in the morning when we left so he couldn't argue. A bowl of pottage was brought to me by the fire. I ate silently at Tola's side while my companions drank with the innkeeper in celebration. I didn't take off Sihtric's cloak and he didn't return.

"My daughter's husband died last year of a fever. They had tried for so many years for a child. You saved not only my grandson and daughter, but me," the innkeeper slurred, smiling with broken, yellowed teeth. "I could never repay what you have done for me this night."

I gave a tight smile. I knew I was being cold. It was hard to be happy. It was hard not to be angry with god. Any god, pagan or Christian.

Why had the innkeeper's daughter been spared, but not my mother? Why not even my baby brother? If my father had been allowed his heir, Morgann would never had been given a foothold. 

"Sihtric gave me his cloak," I whispered to Tola as Ivar and Finan led the group in drinking songs.

"He will not be back until these fools pass out," she said, a little bleary eyed herself. 

"Why?"

Tola sighed, swirling the ale in her cup. "His own wife died a few years ago after giving birth. The babes lived, two of them. Twin girls. But she contracted a fever soon after and went mad in her last hours. It was a terrible death. I believe he blames himself."

A pang of guilt racked my brain. I had been unkind when I had thought him the most dour looking man that I had ever seen. How could I have not wondered for the reason behind it?

"These things happen," I breathed. "My own mother..." 

I couldn't finish the statement. Tola didn't press the matter, but pushed a full cup of ale in front of me. "Drink, then sleep. You need rest."

I obeyed then drifted off when the ale hit me. I slept with my head on the table, too weary and heartsick to climb the rickety steps to bed.