Present

Running was something that always took my mind off of things. When I was younger, every time something bad happened, I just ran. I guess I felt like I was running away from my many problems, but in all reality, I just liked the calmness about it all. To know that I was running that fast, the people around me only able to see a blur; a flick in the wind was why I really ran. Something about the idea of it always sent chills up my spine.

So here I was now, dashing through Central City as I tried to keep my mind off of everything. I was running from Caitlin, from Hunter, from Killer Frost, and more importantly, from Barry. However, as much as I told myself that I wanted to run away from him, I couldn't help but want to run towards him. 

I couldn't even figure out why I cared about him so much. It drove me mad knowing that I cared about someone other than Hunter and didn't have a specific reason. Every time I tried to figure out what it was that I liked about Barry, I could only think about the times my heart raced when I was with him, the time he had held my hand in the club, and the first time he had kissed me...and meant it. I've never felt like that before. Barry was the only person who's been able to do that with me.

Yet despite how much I wanted to rip my hair out and scream, I ran instead. 

I find myself skidding to a halt when I reach the top of a building, overlooking everything in Central City. It was dark now as the street lights light up the city, along with the lights in the apartments downtown and the ones in the little shops, even the one far off in the distance that I knew was Big Belly Burger. I've memorized this city like it was the back of my hand; only to bring it to its knees like Hunter and I had always sworn to do, and we did.

As I look out, my eyes somehow trail upwards as I look up at the sky, my eyes widening the longer I stared. I never realized it until now, but up here, you could see the stars. Down on the street you couldn't because of all the light pollution, but up here...it was clear as day. It was amazing.

For some reason, my parents come across my mind in that moment. I usually tried not to think about them because the memories just hurt too much, but instead of remembering the bad like I usually do, I remembered the good. I remembered the times they took me out for ice cream and Big Belly Burger, the times they'd let me stay up late watching a movie, but never able to finish it because I always fell asleep, and the times we'd sit around the kitchen table every Christmas eve and make a ginger bread house. 

A smile finds its way on my face as I look above, wondering what life could have been like if they were still here. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to fully forgive Hunter for lying to me about them and his name, but he was all that I had left. Without him, I was nothing. I had no one.

My eyes flick downwards then, seeing a streak of blue race through the streets, heading back towards the forest where our home was. I bite my bottom lip gently as I watch Hunter for a moment, not sure what to say to him the next time I saw him. I just didn't understand why he could care so much about Caitlin, yet tell me that love was weakness. It didn't add up in my mind.

However, instead of thinking, I turn and bolt down the side of the building, racing after Hunter. We technically were the same speed, since I borrowed his speed, but I couldn't catch up to him. I noticed that him taking Barry's speed made him faster than before, and I couldn't tell if I was happy about that or if I wasn't. 

I watch him closely as he races up the side of the mountain and into the lair as I follow behind him, not too far behind, but far enough behind to where it takes a couple of seconds before I'm finally standing back in the lair, looking around for Hunter. It takes me a moment to figure out where he is, but when I hear his voice coming from Caitlin's room, I slowly make my way closer to hear what he was saying.

I knew he was talking to her; he had to be. "You okay?"

"Stay away from me," she breathes. I hold my breath as I listen closely, not wanting Hunter to know I was back just yet. 

"Killer Frost tried to kill you," Hunter says as I peek around the corner, watching him pace in front of Caitlin as she sits on her bed. "I saved your life...you should thank me."

Something about the way Hunter said it didn't sound like himself...at least, not the same way I was used to hearing him sound. Caitlin looks up with tears in her eyes, and for a moment, I felt bad for her. "I just want to go home."

Hunter cocks his head. "But you are home."

"This isn't home," Caitlin starts to raise her tone. I clench my teeth as I watch her closely, wanting to scream at her to watch her tone around him. "I want to leave! Please, take me back to my earth."

Hunter blinks for a couple of long moments, and I thought he was about to lose it because of the way she was talking to him. However, I gulp as he gets a bright look on his face, like he came up with a genius idea. "You know, I've always measured my success by counting the number of victims Raven and I racked up over the years...but, now I think I'm going to widen my scope and start counting the number of earths I conquer instead."

Caitlin stares at Hunter with wide eyes as I wrap my fingers around the corner of the wall, my heart starting to race in my chest. A part of me thought Hunter was insane for saying these things; there was no way we could conquer so many earths. Then another part of me craved for what he was saying, and I hated myself for it. My past self wanted to be by his side during all of it, and that was what drew me closer the more he talked.

"You want to go home? Let's go," Hunter breathes, nodding his head as a smirk appears on his face. "After all, this earth has already been brought to its knees."

He was right. Over the years, other than Central City being completely and utterly terrified of us, so was the rest of the country. The news media was constantly talking about the two of us; the streaks that no one could outrun. It was a good feeling, and this talk of doing it all over again...it sent chills down my spine.

Hunter looks over his shoulder then, his eyes connecting with mine as I straighten up, no longer caring if he knew I was there or not. I wanted to be apart of this, and the feeling of power made me forget everything else.

"Let's go," I nod my head as I start to laugh. "Let's do it all over again; conquer another earth...and then another, and another-"

I cut myself off as I start to laugh, Hunter doing the same. Caitlin sits there with wide eyes as she looks at me in awe, most likely wondering what happened to me and how quickly I had changed sides again. In all truth, I wasn't sure whose side I was on. I was still mad at Hunter for what he did to me, but his offer of power made me forget about it all. It even made me forget about Barry.

"What are we waiting for then?" Hunter grins at me before he turns back to Caitlin, snatching her up off the bed before flashing away, leaving me standing alone for a split moment. I look out after where he ran, and I couldn't help but think to myself how wrong this was, but it didn't matter.

Power was what mattered.

-*+*-

9 years ago 

I tried everything, and when I say everything, I mean it. 

I finally came to the conclusion that there was no way on breaking out of this thing, and I knew that already before I even tried. My now diminishing speed couldn't do the trick, and neither could everything else I tried. I even tried using my anti-gravity powers to lift something from outside the cell, but that wouldn't work either. It was like I was trapped inside of this thing, stuck inside my own little world. 

Eventually I ran out of the speed force and slumped over in the corner, tired from running so much at the wall. I had bruises and cuts on my knees and elbows from the attempts, but I didn't care about that. All that I cared about was the fact that I was about to lose my mother again, and I hated Jay for it. 

I thought that he would understand, even besides the fact that she did something to piss him off enough. He lost both of his parents too, just like me, and I knew for a fact that he would give anything just to see them alive and well again. I had that chance, and he was taking it away from me, even if it was only my mother.

I told myself that I wasn't going to cry, but I couldn't hold the tears back. I was so tired and so angry that I couldn't keep it in any longer, and I wanted nothing more than to break out of here and save the one person that really meant anything to me anymore. I told myself that I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for my own stupidity in believing in Jay, and for that I hated myself. My mother was going to lose her life again because of me. 

My eyes lift then when I see a blue streak race into the room, causing me to scramble to my feet as I watch Jay dash into the cell across from me, leaving a person behind inside, that person being my mother. I race to the glass as I shout her name, tears still leaking down my face. She looks utterly confused for a moment before she sees me, causing her to press herself against the glass and cry my name as well. I try to take in her figure once more, but before I could, Jay flashes himself between her and I, blocking my view.

"What are you going to do with her," I spit, anger and sadness radiating off of me. He doesn't answer me, so I shout it again. "What are you-"

"You hate me now, Raven, but you won't soon," he says behind his mask, acting like a coward. "I promise."

I slam my palm against the glass, cause it to make a loud sound and pain to shoot through my hand and forearm. "I hate you. You hear me? I hate you!"

He stops moving and stares at me for a long, long time, not uttering a single word or making any type of sound. I stand there in silence as I look at him with eyes cold as stone, not being able to believe what he was doing right now. He was crazy for thinking that I was going to forgive him for this.

The world seems frozen for the longest time; at least, that was before another figure comes walking into the room, making my eyes widen. It was Dust Storm; a person I haven't seen since the last time when she gave me back my powers. Deep down I had faith she could help me, but I knew she was only here because Jay convinced her to come. I just wondered why.

Jay turns and faces her then, growling lowly. "You're sure this is going to work?"

She nods her head. "Positive."

I hold my breath as my heart races in my chest, terrified for what was really going on now. "What are you talking about? What are you doing?"

No one answers me as I watch Dust Storm walk over to my mother, staring at her through the glass as my mom steps back, not sure what was going on. I couldn't even imagine what she was thinking right now, but I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know how scared she probably was.

I watch carefully as Dust Storm raises her right hand, just like how she had when she had taken that serum out of my system. My heart pounds in my chest as I watch her close her eyes, focusing on something I wasn't quite sure of. It was then I see my mother start to stumble backwards, her eyes fluttering from something unknown to me. 

She was killing her, I knew it. 

"Stop!" I scream as tears start to fall down my face again. "Please Jay, stop this! I'm begging you-"

"She's not killing her," he says to me, causing me to stop abruptly and look down at him. He doesn't continue, so I force it out of him.

"What is she doing to her then?" I shout, my eyes flicking between my mother and Jay both. I was terrified. 

Jay turns and looks up at me, still behind his mask. "She's making her forget. She's making sure that she doesn't remember what happened today, what happened years ago, and that she ever had you."

For some reason, this felt worse than having him kill her. The thought of knowing that my mother wouldn't remember who I was killed me. I hated Jay for doing this; he was striping my mother of her memories of me, and that was what cut deep. At first I didn't believe that she was capable of taking memories, but the more I thought about it, I realized that she was. She could pull a serum out of my system; of course she could pull memory neurons too. 

"You're what?" I breathe, still in shock of what he just said. I look back over at my mother then, watching as Dust Storm gasps and lowers her hand, causing my mother's eyes to shut as she falls backwards, landing with a thud on the floor. "Mom!"

Dust Storm turns and looks at me then, making Jay sigh. "You should be thanking me, Raven. I'm not killing her; I'm just making sure things get set right. I just want you back-"

"Go to Hell," I spit as I look back over at my mother, seeing her lying there perfectly still. For a moment, I wondered if she really was dead, but then I see her chest rise and lower slowly. She was alive, but she didn't remember me anymore. Everything we ever once shared was striped away from her mind; as if it all meant nothing.

Jay turns and looks over at Dust Storm. "Get it over with."

I narrow my eyes as I watch Dust Storm step up to the glass, raising her hand slowly as Jay stands behind her. "What are you-"

"You have to forget too," Jay says to me, taking a deep breath. "This wasn't supposed to happen, and I'm sorry for that, Raven. But I need you back. I need you on my side."

I start to back away to the other side of the container, hearing nothing but my heart racing in my ears. "No, no-"

I cut myself off as I watch a light emit from Dust Storms hand, her eyes staring at my forehead as she does her magic. I couldn't help but focus on her eyes as I feel the memories literally get striped away from my head, making me feel faint. Before long, I couldn't remember what was happening and why I was in here, but then that was gone too and replaced with a black image. 

The last thing I see is Jay before I fall to the floor, drifting away into the darkness of my imagination.

-*+*-

AHH MAKE SENSE NOW? You guys were all asking me how it was going to work with her mom being alive and whatnot since future Raven clearly doesn't remember, but aha, that's why! Don't ask how I came up with that, cause I have no idea.

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