9 years ago

I gasp abruptly as my lungs fill with air; feeling almost as if I hadn't breathed in a long time. The oxygen in my lungs causes me to cough and spit, the pressure on my chest being too much. Something about the way I felt was different, and I couldn't figure out why.

I couldn't move. My arms and legs felt as if they were frozen in place. That was when I finally opened my eyes, and when I did, the first thing I see is Jay's face. Relief comes over me then as I stare up at him, a look of relief on his face as well. I couldn't remember why; I couldn't remember anything.

"J-Jay-" I gasp, my tongue feeling as if it was frozen in place too. It was then I realized how cold I was; I was even shivering.

I feel his hand on my shoulder, but only barely. "Raven, can you hear me?"

I slowly nod my head. "Yes. What...what h-happened?"

"You lost," he tells me simply, but I wasn't sure what he was talking about. It was then I feel him grabbing my shoulders, making me prop myself up. When he does this, I look around and find myself sitting on the couch at home, a fire burning in front of me in the fireplace.

My eyes trail away from it for a moment as I look back up at Jay, seeing him turning around to grab something. "What do you mean I lost?"

"I left you to deal with that girl, but you lost," he breathes. "I came back to find you half dead; half frozen."

It was then it all came back to me. "She...She froze my h-heart."

"And it should have killed you," he says as he turns around and faces me, a mug in his hand. Steam escapes the top of it as he hands it to me, making me realize then that it was hot chocolate. "I think you were only able to handle it because you had taken her powers; you got lucky."

I shake my head as I stare down into the mug. I was trying to accept the fact that I had lost; I had actually almost died because of the cold hearted bitch. It was weird to think that I should be dead right now; that I actually lost a fight. I never lost...at least, not to the point where I should be dead right now.

Jay turns to leave the room then, but I wasn't done with him yet. "Why'd you leave me?"

He is silent for a long moment before he turns around slowly. "I thought you could handle it, but I guess I was wrong."

"You always told me to never abandon you; to stay close at all times," I state, remembering it well. After the first time he said it to me, it stuck in my head like glue. "This wouldn't have happened if you were there-"

"This is not my fault," he yells at me, shaking his head. "We were out there today so you could show me you could handle yourself in any circumstance. You proved me wrong, just like I had thought in the first place."

Anger starts to course through me, warming me up a little. "I can take care of myself-"

"Clearly not," he cuts me off as he looks over at the fire. "You have to be prepared to go up against anything, and you weren't."

He leaves the room then as I sit there in complete rage, but not towards Jay. I was angry that Caitlin ruined this for me; she made me look like a fool. Now Jay perceived me as weak, and I hated being seen that way. I turn to the fire then as I scowl, an idea starting to form in my head.

I was going to make her pay, I knew that much for sure.

-*+*-

Present

After Barry came back from the speed force, I faded back into the shadows. I knew that he would want to see his friends and family first before me, so I let them have their moment. As they stayed down in the pipeline celebrating, I snuck away and went upstairs to the room that used to be mine; where I spent my many nights here on earth 1.

When I turned the corner to walk inside, I thought that I was going to find emptiness. I assumed that after what had happened, Barry and the others would have gotten rid of my things, but what I found was something else. Everything I had left here was still placed perfectly as if no one had touched anything. It surprised me.

As I step inside, my eyes take it all in once again. The fact that they had left all of my belongings here untouched baffled me, and it left some sort of happy emotion deep inside of me. I wasn't sure what to call the emotion, but it was something I've only felt when I was here inside of this room...with everyone here at S.T.A.R. Labs.

My eyes catch something then as I walk over to the desk I had spent many nights sitting at, finding the books I had read during my time here. There was How to Kill a Mockingbird, Fahrenheit 451, and on top was the biography about the one and only Harrison Wells. A small smile forms on my face then, remembering what had happened the last time I had held that book. That was the night Barry came in to check on me...the first time I felt that warmth in the pit of my stomach.

I turn and bring my eyes towards the bed then, finding the covers on it still tore back from the last time I had left it. I reach my hand out as I walk over towards it, brushing my fingers against the smooth covers. Something about it gave me the chills, and at first I thought it was because of the fact that I had stayed here for so long it seemed, but then I remembered the real reason.

This was the place Barry first kissed me.

I remembered the conversation we had vividly...we were talking about the breeches and about my doppleganger here on this earth and then it just sort of...happened. A faint smile appears on my face then as I remember what it was like; it was something I'd never forget, that was certain.

That was when I remembered what he had told me before kissing me; about how I was a hero to him. I didn't see it then, but now...it seemed like something that could be true. Well, now that I had brought Barry back to life basically, I knew I couldn't be a villain anymore. Hunter wouldn't have me working by his side anymore, and I was close to nothing without him. For some reason, I wasn't scared...I wasn't even afraid of the fact that I knew he'd want me dead.

"What are you doing in here?"

I turn around then at the voice, it almost making me jump out of my own skin. When I turn around, I find Barry standing there in the doorway, an odd look on his face. It was a mixture between confusion and hope; but it was a different look than the usual Barry had.

I take a deep breath. "I thought I'd leave you all to your reunion down there..."

Barry is silent for a long moment as he takes a few steps farther into the room, but not getting too close. He stares at the floor for awhile before finally looking up at me. "Why? Why did you decide to help me?"

The way he said it made me melt, only because he had that lost look in his eyes. "Remember that time we went back to the future to get the speed equation, and when we were coming back...I lost speed? You came back and saved me. You told me that you'd never abandon me...I thought I'd just return the favor."

A faint smile appears on his face then as he looks back down at the floor, crossing his arms across his chest. "Well, thank you, Raven. I don't know where I'd be without you right now."

The saliva in my mouth thickens then, but I don't say anything. I vaguely smile back at him as I make up my mind to leave then, causing me to start walking around him. However, before I can make it out the door, Barry speaks, causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

"So that's it? You just bring be back and go running back to him?" he says then, a little bit of anger in his tone. I didn't blame him; I would be mad at me too if I was him.

I turn around then, chuckling softly. "If I went back to him, I'd be asking for a death sentence. No, Barry Allen, I'm not going running back to him. I'm done being his puppet he can play with. I'm going to hide; that's what I'm going to do, because if I don't, I'm a goner-"

"He'd really kill you for something like this?" he asks me, his eyes wide. That was when I realized that his hand was on my arm; he must have put it there in the middle of my sentence.

"It's not the first time he's wanted to kill me," I say softly, thinking back to all of the situations. The only difference now was that I wasn't going to suck back up to him; I was done. "I'll be fine."

I turn to leave again, but Barry wasn't done. "Raven, we can keep you safe. We need you here; this city needs you."

"This city doesn't need me," I shake my head. "There's only room for one speedster, and that's you. You're the only person that can keep this city safe."

I turn and start to walk down the hall then, leaving Barry behind. I told myself that I wasn't going to turn around again, but I couldn't help myself after hearing what he said next. "I need you, Raven."

When I look over my shoulder, I find him standing there at the end of the hall with faint tears in his eyes. "Barry Allen...the hero that fell for the villain. You don't need me, I assure you of that. You don't deserve someone like me-"

"Don't say that," he says to me then as he takes a few steps closer. "Don't say you aren't good enough. Look at yourself; you've always been the girl who never backs down from a fight. The Raven I know doesn't run and hide. Like you said, Zoom made you suffer enough...why not help us end this once and for all. We all need you Raven; I need you."

As I stare down the hall at Barry, I can't help but rethink everything. I started to add up all of the things that Hunter has done to me; he killed my parents, he made me a killer, he took away my life. Revenge was something I've wanted for so long, but I was too blind to act until now. And now here I was, getting that chance to do it with the one person that hated him just as much as me.

With a deep breath, I say the two words that I never thought I'd say in my life; at least, not towards the one person that I thought I would trust forever...the only person that taught me everything.

"I'll help."

-*+*-

eeeeek Raven is on the winning side now! who knows what might happen...

don't forget to vote n comment! this story is coming to a close soon, and I have a feeling y'all aren't ready for the end.