8 years ago

I jolt to my left as I dodge another blast of fire from the man I still didn't know what to call. For the most part, he was doing most of the work while Caitlin stood there and watched with a satisfied look on her face, even though I was able to dodge every single one of his blasts. Something told me she wasn't smiling at that though; I had an idea that her and him were an item, and she was just admiring him as he did his thing.

"Enough child's play," I grunt as I stop running, turning and facing the man as I extend my arms, focusing all of my powers on him for now. I could see Caitlin out of the corner of my eye in case she tried anything, but for now, I was only focused on him alone. I still wasn't quite up to speed as I once was before I had lost my powers, so I could only do so much.

The fire man stops then as he raises into the air, floating seamlessly. Caitlin frowns before I throw him back into a stack of crates behind him, causing him to grunt before falling to the ground with a hard thump. I hear Caitlin growl under her breath before ice starts to form in her hands, but I was ready this time for her.

As she starts to throw them towards me, I focus on each icicle as they stop in mid air, not moving another inch closer to me. Caitlin continues to try her best as she throws icicle after icicle, but it just wouldn't do the job. After a few more attempts at that, she lowers her hands with an exasperated sigh, not being able to believe that I was doing that. Before she can try again however, I focus on each icicle and send them hurling back towards her, but I wasn't going to kill her. Not yet, anyways.

She manages to destroy a few of her icicles before they reached her, but there were three that found their way to her. One of them broke off on her shoulder blade, not harming her in any way, another doing the same, but then the third one found it's way to her side. She lets out a scream as it pierces her deep, but it wouldn't kill her. I knew it wouldn't.

She falls to the ground as blood starts to seep through her outfit, but it only made me smile with satisfaction. I was finally able to beat her; I was finally strong enough.

"Guess you're staring to live up to your name," Caitlin mutters through her teeth as I walk over to her, staring down with a dark expression. My fingers start to twitch right above the syringe in my pocket, and I was more than ready to inject it into her. "I see now why they call you Silver Trickster."

I cock my head. "You know why I'm here, don't you?"

She laughs. "I'm guessing revenge? Something doesn't tell me you're here for girl scout cookies."

I almost grabbed the syringe then, but not yet. "You almost killed me. I should have died that day when you froze my heart, and I'm only here to inflict the same fate upon you."

Caitlin's smile fades from her face, but something about it wasn't satisfying. "Kill me? Sweetie, are you even capable of doing that?"

I flash back to the time I had first killed that man, but I quickly shake it away. "You don't know what I'm capable of."

I quickly use my speed then to pull out the syringe and stick the needle into Caitlin's neck, injecting the poison into her system. I let the needle fall to the ground as she gasps, grabbing her neck, the blood on her hand staining that part of her skin now too.

She glares up at me, spite in her tone. "What did you just do?"

A grin forms on my face then, going ear to ear. "Ever heard of Tectroscylin?"

-*+*-

Present

"I still think this is a stupid idea," Barry says to me though the glass, shaking his head. "We can monitor you just find upstairs; you don't have to be locked away in there-"

"You haven't seen what this stuff can do, Barry," I breathe as I focus on the strength in my legs, trying not to fall over. Cisco tried to wheel a bed down here to put in the pipeline with me, but I told him that I would be fine. I could sit against the wall if I really needed to, but for now, I wanted to stand while Barry talked to me. "I need to be down here."

He continues to shake his head as his eyes trail to the floor, worry and desperation radiating off of him. It was almost like whatever he was feeling was shifted onto me too somehow, because just seeing him like this made me worry for my own self. There was a time in my life that I would have been frantic to find a cure...an antidote. But now, something about me changed in the way I felt about death, but seeing Barry worry like that...it triggered something else in me that did care still.

I shift my weight onto my good leg as I lean forwards and press my hand up against the glass, feeling the hard and cold texture against my palm. "I can't promise that everything will be okay, but I know that I'm in good hands, Barry. I know that I betrayed you all in the past, but-"

"They're going to help you," Barry finishes for me, his eyes lifting back up. "We're going to find a way to fix this, and then after, I'm going to make him suffer."

The anger behind his words almost scared me; not in the sense of the seriousness behind them, but only because they came from Barry. Sure, he had every right to hate Hunter, but the words The Flash and suffer didn't quite go together. The thing about Barry was that he's been the hero; and along with that title, that meant no killing, no matter what. That was something I knew he's strived never to do, and it scared me to hear him say something like that and actually mean it.

I must have made a face, because the next thing I know, I see Barry stepping forwards and placing his hand on the other side of the glass where it met mine, his eyes connecting with my own. "Are you scared?"

"Scared of dying? Nah," I say while shrugging my shoulders, sending a jolt of pain down to my thigh, but I hide it from my face. "Living the life that I've lived...I've gotten close to death a number of times. This is just another tally mark on that list."

Barry's face grows sadder, if that was possible. "And how many tally marks is that?"

I think for a moment. "Well, considering I was almost frozen to death because of Killer Frost a lot, I'd say at least a solid 15 tally marks."

He cracks a smile as I do too, but I could feel how tired mine was. It felt good to put a smile on his face though. For a moment, it looked like Barry was going to add onto my comment, but that was before Cisco's voice was heard through the intercom.

"Barry, you might want to come up here and take a look at this," he says before explaining farther. "We might be onto something for this antidote and we could use your brains, so stop flirting please."

I couldn't tell if my cheeks went hot because of the Tectroscylin or if it was because Barry's turned red too. Either way, it put a faint smile on my face before I lowered my hand from the glass window, taking a deep breath before flicking my eyes to the door. "I'll be okay, Barry."

"I promise I'll be back soon," he says to me while lowering his hand too. "I'll make sure you're out of there in no time."

I don't say anything more before he's flashing out of the room, leaving me alone. After he leaves, I let the pain show that I had been holding in on my face as I collapse back into the corner of the cell, feeling my leg throb from all the pressure I had on it. That same dull ache was still flowing inside of me, but the more time went by, the more it increased. It wasn't something that hurt terribly bad, but something told me eventually it would be unbearable.

"Pathetic," I hear a voice say then, causing my eyes to flick upwards. I was surprised to see Killer Frost standing there then, twisting a piece of white hair in her fingers. "You're lying straight to his face still...thought you would have learned by now."

I gulp as I shake my head. "You're not real."

"Real? No. But I'm only here because of what you think and feel, and I know that you lied," she says to me with spite in her tone, and I knew she was right. "You're terrified."

I don't answer her as I sit there in silence, thinking about what she said to me. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't afraid, but hearing those words from her made me realize that I was in a way, and I couldn't figure out why.

"You're scared that this is it; that Raven Black's life was meaningless," she says before letting the piece of hair fall back down on her shoulder, her eyes gazing down at me. "You're scared for only being remembered as Silver Trickster, aren't you?"

I continue to stay silent.

"Raven, you worked so hard to get to where you are; to be the best that Silver Trickster could be...and you're afraid?" She says in a mocking tone, as if she was disgusted with me. "Remember how many people you had to hurt and kill to get your name where it is? That was what you wanted more than anything-"

"Not anymore," I shake my head, whispering to myself. "I don't want to be remembered as Silver Trickster."

"So you are afraid," she confirms, starting to pace above me back and forth in the small cell. "You regret living as Silver Trickster and not as Raven Black, don't you?"

I lick my lips slowly. "Of course I regret it-"

"And that is why you never had what it took to be one of us," she cuts me off, passion and fire in her tone as she yells at me. "You thought you succumbed to the darkness, but you're just as weak as the others. Silver Trickster was just a way for you to forget all of that pain you had in your life; it was just a distraction. But the one thing you couldn't admit to yourself was that under that mask, you were nothing. You were weak. You are weak."

"Leave me alone," I say, but I knew it wasn't going to do anything. This was like talking to my self-conscious; of course it wouldn't leave me alone.

She kneels down in front of me then to where we were on the same level, her eyes burning holes into my scull. "You're just afraid you'll die not getting to live the life you wanted."

"Of course I am!"I shout at her, hoping that if I admitted the truth that she would leave me alone. "Hunter took everything from me! I thought that him taking away my freedom was the worst thing he could have ever done, but taking my life now..." I pause. "Raven Black died the same night as her parents. Everything that I've done up until now was the person that Hunter created, so yes, I am afraid I'll die that person. He doesn't deserve the last laugh..."

I fade out then as tears fall from my cheeks, but when I look back up to hear what other daggers she was ready to hurl at me, she was gone. A breath of relief escapes my throat as I lower my head into my hands, thinking long and hard about what she had told me. She was right; I was afraid.

I didn't want to die the person that I had become.

-*+*-

haha yeah I'm crying.

vote n comment chickos!