Present

I started to feel like myself again a few hours after I had first waken up, and I couldn't have been more grateful. The empty numbness was gone, the headache that had been brewing ceased to exist, and even my leg was gaining strength fast. I could walk on my own now without there being any pain, so Cisco's drugs really did do the trick.

Those few hours consisted of lying there in bed sleeping, along with eating some of the Big Belly Burger that Barry had brought for me. Besides when Barry was out taking care of some of the metahumans, he was by my side talking to me so I wouldn't feel so lonely or sleeping in the chair in the corner of the room. I didn't blame him; he's had a long night.

As I started to feel more and more like myself again, it started to remind me that Hunter was the person that did this to me. He almost took my life away in one of the worst ways possible; the way that he had claimed was pathetic and not a real way of revenge. It made me wonder if he really wanted me to die, or if I was just some sort of distraction from something more.

But if there was one thing I knew, it was that I needed to talk to him. I wanted to make him suffer for doing this to me, but I knew that just being here with Barry and the others was enough to do that. We're going to beat him...we have to. I just can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes that I was on the winning side all along.

"Knock, knock," I hear someone say as I turn my head away from the TV, seeing Iris standing in the doorway with two cups in her hand. "How are you feeling?"

I sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed, my thigh for the most part completely healed. I threw a fit about having to stay in that medical room, so I convinced them that I was well enough to stay in my own room, which was where I was now.

"Better now that Cisco saved the day," I half smile as she takes a few steps inside, steam rolling off the top of the two cups she had in her hand. "I really thought I was a goner there."

She gives me a sad look before thinking of something positive to say. "Well, putting your life in the hands of the people here was a good choice. They're the best I know."

I simply nod my head as silence wraps around us, but only for a moment. Quite frankly, I thought it was a little odd of Iris to show up here; I mean, we weren't enemies, but we weren't exactly friends either. She's always been kind to me, so I guess that was what mattered.

"I thought after an event like that you could use something hot to drink," she grins as she walks over to me, holding her hand out to hand me the cup.

I stare at it for a moment. "It's not coffee, is it?"

"Hot Chocolate," she smiles warmly. "Mines the coffee. Barry told me that you weren't that big of a fan. Besides, the hot chocolate from Jitters is to die for."

I take the cup from her hand, feeling it's warmth radiate through my hands and to the rest of my body. Iris takes a sip of her coffee as I take a drink of the hot chocolate, and she was right. It had to be the best hot chocolate I've ever had before.

"Good, huh?" she asks as I nod my head, taking another sip. For another moment we're consumed with silence, but it wasn't awkward this time. At least, that was until Iris' eyes drift towards the TV screen that I had just been watching, seeing that I had been watching the news. "They just keep coming...makes me wonder how many henchmen Zoom really has."

"I don't know either, he did that part while I played babysitter," I state, groaning a little under my breath at the memory of wasting all of that time sitting there watching Caitlin at CCPD. "But knowing him, I'm sure there's plenty."

Iris takes a seat next to me on the bed then, a serious look washing across her face as she turns and looks at me. "I'm sorry for everything he's done to you, Raven. It's just...it's horrible. I had to go through the horror of losing my mother as a child and a few weeks ago, but I don't know what it's like to lose both of your parents and to be manipulated by the person that killed them. I know what you did to Barry...to us, was just another one of his tricks, and I don't blame you for it. You were just another piece in his game, and I'm sorry that you had to be apart of it for so long."

I take a deep breath as I swallow her words, something about them hitting me deep. "I'm just sorry that it took me this long to realize it."

"We all make mistakes, Raven. It's just apart of life," she continues as my eyes drift to the floor. "But the mistakes you make aren't supposed to be your only focus; you have to move on from them. You have to be able to prove to yourself that you are capable of better things."

"I've just been in the dark for so long..." I fade out, the faces of who I've killed flashing through my mind. "I-I don't know if I am capable of doing good...of helping."

Iris rests her hand on my knee in a caring way. "You already have. Remember when you helped Barry save those people on that bridge? Remember when you went back in time with him to help him get the speed equation? Or the time you saved Jesse? You already are a hero, Raven. You just don't see it."

I look up at her then, a smile on my face. Despite not being the greatest of friends with Iris, I admired how easily she could talk to me; how much love she had in that heart of hers. I knew she always had a way with words, but what I didn't know was how much she was capable of inspiring a person.

My eyes flash upwards then when I hear a buzzer sound, causing Iris and I to share a worried look. She starts to get up to see what it was all about, but it would take her awhile to get to the main room, so using the speed that I still had from Barry, I grab her and race us there, setting her down gently in the center of the room.

She removes a piece of hair from her mouth as she looks over at me, a thankful look on her face before she turns towards the others. "What's going on?"

Cisco and Caitlin were staring at the monitors on the wall, showing a building on fire, the fire making out a lightning bolt. I knew what it was the moment I laid my eyes on it. Suddenly then, another flash of lightning is running into the room, revealing Barry as he asks what was going on, just like how Iris had.

"It's CCPD," Cisco says bitterly, and I knew why.

Henry was there then, shaking his head. "Barry, no-"

Before he can finish, Barry takes off and leaves the others behind, causing Henry to sigh. I start to follow after him before I feel someone grab my arm, causing me to look over my shoulder at Cisco. "I have to go help him-"

"He'll be okay," Cisco breathes, his eyes wide for some reason. "You don't need to go out there after what just happened, okay?"

I shake my head, not understanding what he was meaning. "I'm fine, Cisco. I can't just sit here as Barry-"

"He doesn't know you're alive, Raven," Cisco continues. "If he does, he'll try and kill you again. You aren't strong enough to go out there."

He had a point. I was still recovering, but I wanted so desperately to rub into Hunter's face that I was alive; that his plan had failed to kill me. But the more I thought about it, if he was convinced that I truly was dead, we could use that against him.

I could be the secret weapon.

-*+*-

8 years ago

Time was the only negative part about my plan. I knew that the virus wouldn't just take its toll the moment I injected it, but I wish that it would. It's been hours since I first injected that needle into Caitlin's neck, and as much fun as it was to see her sit there with bug eyes and ripped out pieces of hair, I wanted to get to the extra fun part, which was seeing those pretty eyes of her getting ripped out of her own skull by her own hands.

To pass the time, I watched TV. Of course I would go check up on her every now and again, but it was the same old thing every time. For an hour at least, she didn't move an inch. She'd sit in that corner with her knees to her chest, her eyes staring hard at the floor with a lifeless expression on her face. Every time I tried to speak to her, I was met with silence, and I couldn't tell if the virus was working slower inside of her or faster because of her reaction.

Either way, the only thing I knew was that just before the virus took her life, I wanted to be there to witness it. I wanted to be the one to end it before the tiny bacteria would. Like Jay said, it might be a little bit of laziness on my part for getting revenge, but at least I wanted to use my hands to take her life in the end.

I was watching the news now, about to go check up on her once again. The news anchor on the TV screen was talking about some type of bank robbery and how they were thinking it was caused by a metahuman, but I wasn't paying all that much attention. However, just before I was about to get up, I feel a hand wrap around my neck before it grabs me and drags me over the back of the couch, throwing me hard against the ground.

To my utter belief, it was Caitlin.

Her pretty silver eyes glare down at me as her cold hand starts to burn my skin, anger radiating off of her. Her appearance sure changed a lot since the last time I checked up on her, since she looked half dead before. For a moment I'm taken off guard over the fact that it was her, but then I grow angry. Just before I start to fight back however, I hear a low voice come from the doorway.

"Let her go."

My eyes flash over then to see Jay standing there, his arms crossed as he hides behind his mask. I breathe heavily as Caitlin holds her ground, her lips pressing into a hard thin line. Why wasn't Jay helping me? How did Caitlin even get out?

A few more seconds go by before Caitlin finally lets me go, causing me to gasp. She stands and backs away from me slowly as she eyes both me and Jay, anger still radiating off of her. I quickly leap onto my feet as I go for her, but just before I can wrap my hands around her neck, Jay is flashing forwards and grabbing me, throwing me into the wall as he holds me there.

"What are you doing?" I gasp, confusion taking over me. Something wasn't right.

He doesn't answer me as he looks over his shoulder at Caitlin. "Get out of here before I kill you myself."

She stares for a long moment before biting her tongue and walking off, leaving in utter silence. I notice a few bald patches on top of her head from ripping her hair out as she leaves, but as she walks through that doorway, I scream inside my head for her to come back; that this wasn't over.

"What the hell is this!" I scream in Jay's face as he takes his mask off, knowing that Caitlin wasn't here anymore. "I told you, she's my problem to-"

"Well, I turned your stupidity into something better," he snarls at me. He sounded as if he was speaking to a child...like I was a lower being than him. He's never spoken to me like this before now. "I told her that I'd help her if she worked below me until the day she died. Call her sort of a slave now."

Utter rage flows through me in that moment. I wanted to scream, to get Caitlin back so I could end her myself, to punch Jay, but I couldn't do any of those things. "You what?"

"I gave her the antidote in exchange for her service...for her life," he stresses, still pressing me up against the wall like I was some sort of rag doll. "She worships me now, and I told her that you were off limits, to let bygones be bygones."

I clench my hand into a fist at my side. "I can't believe you."

"You should be thanking me," he breathes finally as he releases me, backing away slowly. "I turned your mess into a solution."

I was so angry that I couldn't find the right words to say. Everything inside of me screamed to run far away from here and Jay and never look back, but the other told me that what he did was smart. Having Caitlin working under Zoom was just yet another one of the many possible versions of Hell for her, and I couldn't decide if that was worse than what Hell I had inflicted upon her.

But as I stood there debating what I really thought about the situation, I realized that now Caitlin and I weren't so different. I've always told myself that I wasn't another one of Jay's henchmen or partners, but that I was someone that he truly cared about. I realized now that maybe that wasn't the case; that I was just another type of Caitlin, forced to work along side him.

I knew then that I was already in my Hell.

-*+*-

wow guys sorry this chapter took so long for me to finish. I would have gotten it done faster, but I lost my grandma three days ago and things have just been hectic.

I'll try and have another one posted soon, but I hope you guys enjoyed this one. don't forget to comment and vote like always! xx