❝ꪜ𝒊𝐨ŀꪋ❞

I waited as Marcelina scrolled through Google using the limited information we had and then, armed with the fact that Marvin appeared to be a partner in a car service company, I grabbed my coat, wallet, and keys, and took the stairs to the lobby.

I burst out into the cold air, straight into Sinclair’s arms, kissing him soundly and hugging him close. Sin kissed me back, cradling my face, and eased me away before hauling me in and kissing me again.

“I might not send as many messages as you do, but I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” he smiled.

“That’s never happened to me before. Missing someone I’m dating, I mean. And we are sending cute animals to each other, and Mars says—”

Sinclair stopped me with another kiss.

“Yes, we’re dating. We’ve had that conversation already, and as much as I’d love to stand here kissing you all day, I left my car in a no-parking zone, so we really need to move. Dad will kill me if I get a ticket, or worse, get towed.”

I chuckled and followed Sin to the car, the scent of coffee filling the interior. And when we were buckled in, Sinclair gestured to the road in front of us.

“Where to?”

“Oh, hang on. Levi’s garage. I have the Code” I read out the details as Sin entered the information into his phone to use the GPS.

“Near where the reunion was?”

“Yeah” I was lost in thought, and Sin didn’t press for more, turning up the music and humming along with the Christmas songs blitzing the airwaves.

We headed out of the city, and the closer we got to our destination, the more tense I became. Sinclair was chatting about last night’s date; a visiting executive who was trying to impress some new investors, but who drank way too much and ended up spending a long time in the bathroom being sick.

“—so, I’m there, holding her hair back. One investor came into the bathroom, she was this lady from Wyoming and was super impressed that my date had drunk most of the table dry. They did the deal, right there in the bathroom.”

“Huh?” I picked up on that last part and wrinkled my nose. “Was that even sanitary?”

“Only you could think of that,” Sin teased.

“Well, when you think of what kinds of bacteria can be found in most bathrooms—”

“No! Don’t tell me or I’ll never use public bathrooms again” Sin laughed.

I loved that I could make Sinclair laugh. It was as if I’d found some hidden superpower, and I wisely decided not to mention that the same bacteria lived at home.

The journey didn’t take long, and all too soon, Sin had parked outside Levi’s garage. It wasn’t the most salubrious of places—a little rundown—but it looked honest with its faded sign and pile of used tires outside, as if people had worked here for many generations. There were two gas pumps and a small parking area where Sin had stopped.

“So, you want to tell me why we are here? As much as I love drinking coffee outside random garages, I’m thinking something more important is going on, given how serious you look.”

I faced Sinclair and sighed. “

“Marvin works here.”

Sin’s smile dropped.

“And we’re here because...?”

“There was something about what happened. When he first came into the bathroom, he was nervous, scared even. He only got all funny when the other two came in. I just need to know what happened, and whether... I don’t know. I’m probably not making any sense.”

“Can I come in with you? I’d like to; if that’s okay?” Sinclair’s expression was serious and focused, but he couldn’t know how much I needed him to go in with me.

Somehow he’d become as important a part of me as Mars was, more important even.

“That’s exactly what I want. He might not even be working today, but maybe they can contact him for me, or something? Mars says he has a Facebook account that hasn’t been used in a few years, so I can’t rely on that being much use. Who knows if he checks it and it’s not like I use social media, and even if he saw my message he might not reply.”

I subsided as Sinclair laid a hand on my knee, squeezing it.

“Let’s go in and see.”

Sinclair killed the engine, and we headed toward the door marked reception. Only we didn’t have to go inside at all. The main door opened, and Marvin stepped through, carrying a large box. He stopped abruptly. He wore a huge puffy coat with Levi’s Garage embroidered on the chest, and there was a smudge of oil on his cheek.

He was still the big man I remembered. Broad, square-jawed, and a little soft around the edges. I didn’t know what to say next.

“What do you want?” Marvin demanded, his brow furrowing as he glanced at a very tense and watchful Sinclair. “I don’t want any trouble.”

“We’re not here to cause trouble,” I reassured him. “I just wanted to talk.”

“Fuck. Okay” Marcus went from defensive to resigned in a split second. “Wait here.”

He placed the box on top of the two already there, steadying them so they were balanced, and then disappeared back into reception. Sinclair laced his fingers with mine and held tight, offering reassurance even though I didn’t feel as if I needed it right now. I’d seen that moment of resignation, and there was something else in Marvin that I couldn’t work out.

Sadness? Maybe Marvin had his own open doors to deal with.

He came back out, gesturing for us to follow him around the back of the garage to where a wooden trestle table with benches sat just inside a shelter. Marvin had added a woolly hat and a long scarf in deference to the icy weather, and he looked more like an innocent teddy bear than the ghost who might haunt my fears.

“I don’t want people knowing I’m talking to you” Marvin was back on the defensive, sitting on the far end of the bench as if he was putting as much distance between him and me as he could. “They might get the wrong idea.”

“About what?” I asked.

“About... fuck it. What do you want?”

I glanced at Sin, who squeezed my hand.

“I want you to explain what happened in the bathroom back at prom.”

Marvin tilted his chin.

“Fuck’s sake. I’m sorry, okay? This is me apologizing. Are we done?” He went to leave, but I stopped him with a question.

“Please, tell me what really happened.”

“What really happened?” Marvin sounded incredulous. “I tried to kiss you; it was too much. That’s exactly how it went down.”

“So, you grabbed me, shoved me against the counter, and then forced a kiss on me. That’s what a police report would say, right?” I got the feeling I was pushing things to the limit when Marvin went pale before tilting his chin again, his eyes flaring.

“You want to go to the police? Then do it. I’ll just plead guilty to being drunk and stupid and tell them I thought it was mutual.”

Guilt slid over his face, and he couldn’t meet my steady gaze. Sinclair bristled.

“You know damn well it wasn’t Viola—”

“It’s okay, Sin, I’ve got this,” I reassured him, and for the first time, I felt as if I did have this. “I’m guessing your story won’t change because you don’t want anybody from school thinking that you might have wanted to kiss me to start with. Your story won’t change because you don’t want anybody to know that you actually liked a nerdy and awkward science girl. People like Zephyr and Jason?”

“I didn’t like you!” he exclaimed.

“I think you might have,” I murmured.

Marvin’s mouth fell open, and he stared at me and then, down at the table. He was fighting something hard, and a sob caught in his throat. When he glanced up again, his expression was tortured.

“You were the lucky one. You had perfect grades. And got to go to college. You got to leave Montana. You had to make yourself out to be whatever you wanted. Some of us had to stay” His eyes swam with tears. “I liked you more than you know. I used to watch you sometimes, so sweet and confusing, and I had all these feelings that didn’t belong. At least, not to the captain of the football team. It was...”

The tears spilled down his cheeks, and he wiped at them, staring at his hands as if he couldn’t believe they were wet.

“I tried to kiss you, Vie. I wanted to kiss you. But I was clumsy and stupid, and then the guys came in. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to be different with you that night, only I couldn’t be. I can't even tell Lyanne how I feel about her because she's not...” he choked.

I didn't know who Lyanne was but my heart hurt from hearing Marvin’s story.

What must it be like to be stuck in the persona of who you were in school? Locked into a cycle of expectation, feeling as if the only validation you deserved was from who you were pretending to be ten years ago.

“I scared people. I didn’t fit in my skin,” Marvin mumbled, and wiped away the last of his tears, straightening his shoulders, refusing to allow vulnerability to take hold. “I’m not that scared little boy anymore. But everyone expects me to love a certain type of woman. To be with a certain type of woman. And I—”

“Vinny! You out here?” A small woman came around the corner, her copper-red hair standing out against her purple jacket.

She stopped and smiled.

“Hi,” she shook hands with Sin and then me. “Lyanne, Marvin’s business partner. Are you here for the blue Corvette? We weren’t expecting you for another hour, but it’s ready to go—”

“They’re not here for the Corvette, Lyanne. Please, just give me five minutes with them,” Marvin interrupted.

Lyanne frowned, then touched him on the shoulder.

“All right, big guy. As long as you’re okay. Yeah?”

“I’m okay.”

“See you inside” She smiled up at Marvin with affection, then sauntered back toward the main building.

“I said I was sorry, and I genuinely mean it,” Marvin offered as soon as Lyanne was out of hearing range. “But I don’t know what else to say to you. If the cops come...” he closed his eyes for a moment, “I’ll tell them what really happened. I’ll tell Zephyr and Jason. Fuck them both. I’m so sorry.”

“We’re not getting the cops involved in anything. All I need for you to do is promise me that, when you’re ready, youʼll tell Lyanne how you feel. You shouldnʼt let other peopleʼs expectations stop you from being happy and loving who you wanna love. You need to close some doors, Marvin.”

“I don’t get it. What doors?”

“You’ll see. But also, take my number, text me if you need to talk.”

“You don’t need me anywhere near you.”

“We all need friends,” I said.

I didn’t have a pen, nor any idea how to pass over my number through the phone, but Sinclair had my back. He took my phone, found a number, and held it up to Marvin. At first, Marvin did nothing except stare, and then he swallowed, his eyes bright with emotion again.

After a pause he took out his own phone and added my number, sending a brief message to check. Then, he stood and extended a hand to me.

“You’re a better person than me,” he murmured.

“I don’t know about that. But I get the feeling that if you were honest with Lyanne... Well, I wish you luck with Lyanne.”

I felt lighter as if I’d dispatched one more ghost and maybe, finally, shut that door on my experience at school. Now, all I needed to focus on was being the best girlfriend to Sin, and not scaring him away.

“Are you okay?” Sinclair asked when we were back in the car.

I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“More than okay. You know, I think I could love you,” I added, and my chest tightened.

I hadn’t meant to let that slip out. Was it too soon? Was it Christmas magic working its way into our lives?

“Me too,” Sinclair said after a pause. “It’s very easy to think I could love you.”