❝ꪜ𝒊𝐨ŀꪋ❞

I had gotten to the point where I was either going to climb Sinclair Bergman like a tree or do something embarrassing, like kiss him in the middle of the dance floor.

I was losing myself in the romantic narrative of what tonight was supposed to be and needed to remember this wasn’t some stupid Disney Cinderella tale where I got my prince in the end.

This was a booking I’d paid for.

But it was just that Sinclair was so attentive and thoughtful, and seemed to know exactly what to do to make my life easier. He used dancing to get us away from the wedding conversation, made cocktails to keep my nerves at bay, and in all things, it was the perfect date.

Definitely five stars. And I would recommend.

Plus, I’m attracted to this version of Sin.

Not that this was news to me, I’d been attracted to the image of Sinclair for a long time. Seeing him in photos through Mars, and not that often at all. I’d mostly kept Sin at a distance. But there was something happening tonight that was different. Because Sin made me feel cared for, desirable, and desired.

That was why I needed some space right now before I did something stupid and forgot about the contract.

I hurried down the corridor, following the signs for the bathrooms, and shoved the outer door open so fast that I almost hit somebody coming the other way. I and my almost-victim did a weird, awkward dance where the other lady looked down at my badge, and then, back up to my face with an accompanying blank expression, all while I glanced at the lady’s badge, and did the same.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“No worries.”

The woman I’d walked into sidestepped, and this time she went the opposite way with her own soft apology. The bathroom was empty. I rested my hands on the counter and stared at my reflection, giving myself a chance to work through all the thoughts that jumbled in my head and made no sense.

For a second, I observed myself in the mirror. I scrubbed up well, my brown hair was neat for a change, I hadn’t spilled anything down my dress, and I felt I wasn’t out of place at this fancy event. A couple of people had come up to me, complimented me on how I dressed, and said hello.

Some of them even had memories of things that connected them to me, and they relayed them with a certain fondness that confused me.

“I remember you from Chem. You were my partner for a whole week and it’s the only time I got an A.”

“Remember that time we had to do that speech, and you spoke so fast and for so long that I didn’t have to say anything?”

“Weren’t you on the chess team? Girl, you were good.”

Too many observations, and too few memories I could recall, added to the unfortunate attraction to Sinclair, and I needed some space. It didn’t help that my head was spinning a little from the cocktail or the whiskey. And that was probably what was giving me all the strange thoughts about what I’d like to do with Sinclair.

I was halfway through washing my hands when the door opened. I glanced up and caught the new arrival in the mirror. A man in a suit.

This is the ladies' room.

“Hi, Viola.”

I glanced at where the guy’s badge should be, but it was hidden.

Great, there goes my chance of being able to fudge my way through this.

“I’m sorry, but this is the ladies' room. And I don't...” I turned off the tap and shook my fingers before crossing to the tidy pile of small hand towels, wiping my hands, and depositing the used towel in a wicker basket. “It’s been quite the evening, and I’m not remembering everybody as well as I’d like.”

“Marvin. Uhmm... Football.”

Marvin seemed nervous... didn’t know quite where to look.

A twinge of fear suddenly settled in my chest. But I put that down to the fact I now had to find conversation, and that was a very real fear in itself.

Marvin, football.

I had never had much to do with the football team. I was happier playing chess or working through lunch hours on science projects. The school as a whole had been behind the Warriors football team. But what I could recall was they’d been shit. Still, as in most schools, the sports stars, failing or not, had been royalty. The same as cheerleaders.

Thank God I was too socially awkward to avoid that torture.

I didn’t remember a single thing about my interaction with either of those groups.

The door opened again; this time two more men joined us. Marvin blanched, shot a glance at me, and then seemed to change before my eyes. From cautious and worried, he blustered and pushed his shoulders back.

What the fuck is happening here?

I expected the new arrivals to turn back... cause itʼs the ladiesʼ room... but instead, they joined Marvin in staring at me.

Well, this is a new type of weird. And I don’t like it.

“Nice to meet you, Marvin. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my boyfriend—”

“Stay right there!” one of the new arrivals said. “My man Vinny here has some things he wants to say to you.”

Zephyr was all shiny suit and a loudmouth who made a big show of telling everybody how successful his insurance company was. I guessed that was part of what reunions were about. Proving to people you’d made something of your life after you left school. I hadn’t even bothered explaining in full about what I was doing for a career. I summed it up in one word—Science—and nobody had seemed that surprised.

I was gripped with an uneasy feeling at the way Marvin had changed in front of me. Also, Zephyr hadn’t moved from the door, and the other man with him... Jason, according to his badge, had a smile that could be called feral.

Marvin. Zephyr. Jason.
Football.

I shook my head.

I don’t feel so good.

“You weren’t at the five-year reunion?” Zephyr raised a single eyebrow.

Age hadn’t been kind to him. He was soft around the edges, but he was tall and broad. I had the feeling he was used to muscling into things. He had a way of holding himself that was having a strange effect on me. There was hurt, fear, shame. It began in my belly and curved and cut its way up to my chest.

“Probably scared that Marvin would knock her little ass to the ground,” Jason said, then snorted a laugh.

What? Why would Marvin want to do that? Okay, I need to defuse whatever is going on here.

“I didn’t think anyone actually went to five-year reunions?” I joked and underscored the words with my practiced smile.

The one Mars told me I needed to use if I didn’t feel confident.

“Well, we were all there, waiting to talk to you about what you did to Vinny,” Jason said and took a step closer to stand at Marvin’s side.

Zephyr stayed where he was, and there was something about this feeling of being trapped that was familiar to me.

“Talk to me about what?”

“Talking at you, more like,” Zephyr said.

“I was probably too busy to go,” I said after a pause.

Zephyr snorted a laugh.

“Busy, eh? Hear that, Jason? Science-girl was busy.”

“Probably saving dolphins,” Jason smirked.

“Dolphins would be cetology. I focus mainly on chemistry, through the use of—” I stopped talking when words failed me.

Dolphins. Science-girl. Marvin. Football.

Marvin took a step closer, now within my reach as I had edged back until my ass hit the counter. His expression was cautious and his posture was wrong.

As if he was forcing himself into character.

None of this made sense. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and unless someone else came into the bathroom, it was just me and three others who unsettled me to the point where I felt like I might crumble.

Was this one of the open doors? Was it something I’d buried, or maybe hadn’t even realized was happening to me? Were Marvin, Zephyr, and Jason bullies in adult life? Did that imply they’d been bullies at school, football kings who smashed and trod their way through sensitive kids, or the ones who liked science, or dancing—? Anyone they could torment to make themselves feel as though they had control over everything.

I don’t have control.

“Do it, Vinny,” Zephyr encouraged. “Show her it’s not right what she did to you.”

“What did I do to you?” I questioned. “I’m sorry, I don’t recall—”

Marvin placed a hand on the counter and leaned in. I had nowhere to move to and panic gripped me as a memory began to coalesce.

At first, it was nothing but smoke. But then I began to identify noise in the memory, music, and the bright twinkling lights of the prom, me in the washroom, gathering the courage to mingle like Sia suggested I should.

Marvin had been there, in the bathroom with me. He’d cornered me, and a sense memory of him kissing, his hands gripping my hips, cupping me, feeling me, flooded back one visceral moment at a time.

“I need to leave,” I managed. “Let go of me.”

Marvin reached for me, and I felt nauseated. No longer was I a grown woman with a career, working on my confidence, hoping one day for romance with a partner who loved me for who I was.

Oh no.

Right here in this bathroom, I  was just the senior who’d been looking for acceptance, and who’d somehow found herself on the radar of one of the football team members.

“What’s up, little Vie? Vinny isn’t touching you,” Zephyr sneered. “My boy here wants to clear up some misconceptions after what you did to him—”

“What? When Marvin pushed me back against this basin and—”

Jason snorted. “See, that’s where you got your story wrong. Science-girl came onto the footballer, and assaulted Marvin. I saw everything.”

There was no sense in that statement, none at all. Not only was Marvin an entire head taller than me, but he was also twice as broad. And I  had been very skinny and frail back in school. Skinny and small. I couldn’t force a kiss on Marvin even if he was drugged.

Which he wasn’t.

“No one was in the bathroom. No one saw what happened!” I snapped, as memories coalesced. “That’s why—” my world shifted as the horror of feeling trapped that night spilled over.

That was my open door?

A memory I’d hidden from myself. I didn’t remember much from the prom. I’d drunk so much that I’d blanked it all out. I just remembered Sia asking me if I was okay.

“I saw what you did to Marvin,” Jason said. “I walked in and saw your hands all over him, watched you paw him before running off. He didn’t have to tell us anything when I could see what you did.”

“What?” I shoved at Marvin who stumbled back. “No!”

The bathroom door opened again. But this time it was Sinclair who stepped inside. And all I could feel was a familiar embarrassment and shame that someone would see what was happening.

And that this someone was Sinclair.