taehyung sat in his bedroom with his curtains closed and lights off.

he had called in sick to work that day, his boss sounding clearly annoyed at his lack of attendance recently. taehyung had apologized softly, hung up, and crawled into his bed under the covers. he stayed there for a while, willing himself to sleep because staying awake was just so exhausting, but it was too early in the day.

he had considered calling yoongi, maybe showing up at the cafe again, but he didn't have the energy to do either. he counted the cracks in his walls, the cracks in his skin, and passed time on his own doing mindless things that kept him thinking. his stomach grumbled as he pulled his covers over his shoulders; he hadn't eaten in a while. maybe it would be good to eat something small? but would he be able to keep it down? would he feel guilty if he ate?

taehyung slowly rose from bed and padded into his small kitchen.

he opened the refrigerator, bright light hurting his eyes. he scanned the fridge for something small, low in calories. he found a bundle of grapes and pulled out three single grapes straight from the bag. he walked over to the sink to rinse them off once, head pounding because he was so... tired? was he tired? he couldn't sleep. he was most definitely not tired, so why did he feel like he was?

he ignored it and turned on the sink, which sputtered and gurgled before spitting out a small stream of water. he slowly rinsed the grapes, rubbing them slowly. he turned off the sink, holding the three grapes in his hand. now, he was going to eat them. right? he had washed them clean. he had gotten out of bed. taehyung looked at the grapes. did he really want to eat, though?

he slowly brought one of them to his lips, shaky hand hovering right at his mouth. the apartment was completely silent, and all taehyung could hear were his own hushed breaths. he put the grape in his mouth, attempting to chew but finding himself hesitating before spitting the grape out and letting it fall to the hard wooden floor. it rolled across the floorboards and stopped in front of the sink, covered in saliva but still in one piece.

taehyung watched it fall and then looked at the other two grapes in his hand, letting out a shaky breath, tears filling up his eyes from the sheer frustration of not being able to do something so simple.

he couldn't eat. why couldn't he eat? he was hungry, and he had been planning on eating, he really had - but he couldn't anymore. he cried out, empty hand grabbing at his hair as he dropped to a crouch, legs bending under his weight. he couldn't do it, and he hated himself for not being able to. he was weak. he was stupid and weak and foolish for being so helpless. his mother had been right all along; he had always been a broken little toy with no one winding him up, and that was why he was so helpless and weak and stupid and-

suddenly, there was a knock on his door, and taehyung startled. he stayed where he was, sobs halting as he stood holding the two grapes in his palm, shaky hands unable to pick them up to put them into his mouth. then he heard his door open, since he never locked it and no one cared enough to rob him anyways.

"tae?"

that was yoongi's voice.

taehyung breathed shakily. "i'm... i'm in the kitchen."

yoongi's footsteps sounded through the apartment as he made his way. "in the kitchen? why are you in-" he stopped when he saw taehyung in his distressed state, hair disheveled and eyes bright red, holding two, meager grapes in his bony hands as he looked up at yoongi like a lost child. taehyung knew he looked pathetic.

"i was going to eat something. three grapes," he said. "and i... i couldn't do it." his voice faltered at the last few words and he looked down at the floor to hide his tears. god, this was embarrassing.

"oh, taehyung." yoongi sat down beside him, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulders. "you're so upset at yourself. don't do that," he said. "you tried, and the fact that you tried is already so, so amazing. we're going to see a doctor in a few days anyway; it's... it's hard to get better on your own." yoongi's voice was soft and warm. "you tried. don't get so upset at yourself for this, okay? please, stop crying."

taehyung nodded slowly, leaning into yoongi's touch like the branches of a tree bending to wind. "i just... really wanted to do something on my own for once, you know?"

"i know, tae, but this is a really, really hard thing to do, and it's okay if you couldn't do it, alright?" yoongi reached over and uncurled taehyung's fingers, taking the two grapes and setting them on the floor beside them. "let's go back to your room and just.. i don't know, let's relax, okay?"

taehyung nodded, allowing yoongi to help him up and lead him to his bedroom.

"why did you come?" taehyung asked.

"you didn't show up to the cafe all day, so i knew something was probably up," yoongi said, helping taehyung into his bed and crawling in beside him.

"all day? is it really that late already?"

"yeah, it's 10:30," yoongi replied, watching taehyung sit up to switch off his lamp. "good thing i stopped by, huh?"

taehyung smiled, eyes still swollen and stiff from crying. "yeah."

he curled into himself under the covers, yoongi's body close to him but at a comfortable distance away. they weren't going to sleep that night, he knew. they'd probably talk for the next few hours, then maybe watch some tv or drink some coffee to pass the time.

his cold apartment suddenly felt a lot warmer.

a/n:
i'm alive lol. hope you liked this angsty (but kindaaa fluffy) chapter lmao (we're almost at the end !!).