t a e h y u n g

"You fucking dumbass. There's a video of you kissing Jessica and it's on fucking Twitter."

"What?"

There's a video of me and Jessica? On Twitter?

What the fuck?

"And now he's suddenly deaf." Jimin throws his hands in the air in exasperation. "You know, I thought you'd grow some fucking brain cells after kissing Jessica the first time, but I guess I was wrong."

"Jimin!" Jin scolds.

Jimin begins to argue back to my brothers, not even caring to show respect anymore. But I'm not even hearing Jimin's offensive words at the moment.

My head keeps ringing the same words.

Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook.

Jungkook is the most notorious Twitter user I know, and if Jimin has seen it, that means he's seen it too.

Now all I can think of is Jungkook scrolling through his Twitter feed only to see a video of his best friend and his girlfriend kissing each other like he doesn't exist.

Fuck. I've fucked up so badly.

He loves Jessica. He's more in love with her than anything else and I am damn aware of that yet I ignored all that just so I can have my seven minutes in heaven with Jessica.

This kiss won't just ruin my relationship with Jungkook–it'll ruin him too.

"No," I whisper–I think. It definitely doesn't seem like I whispered because Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin all stop whatever argument they were having to look at me.

I hear Jin's voice. "Bro, I know this is a big deal and all but do not pass out on the floor. You're heavy as fuck."

Then Namjoon. "태형 아.괜찮아? [Taehyung-ah. You okay?]"

I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since this drama started, and contrary to what my brothers have to say, it isn't anyone else's fault but mine.

I hurt Lola, I messed with Jessica's mind, and I've ruined Jungkook's relationship.

Actually, I've done more than ruin Jungkook's relationship.

He already had self esteem issues before he met Lola–and when she dumped him it just made things ten times worse. Now imagine if he sees the girl he fell in love with kissing his best friend. His insecurities will push through and he'll start questioning his worth until he reaches the bizzare conclusion that he's just not worth anything.

At the end of it all, Jungkook will turn into me.

"N-no." I feel wetness running down my cheeks, and I don't know why, but the physical manifestation of my pain just makes it feel ten times worse. I shout out in frustration, sick of this feeling of not knowing what will happen next, of not having the ability to make it go away.

Jimin says something I don't catch. I feel his hand on my shoulder and I flinch away.

For the first time in a while, Jimin actually wants to be there for me, but I don't allow it. I can't allow it.

I don't deserve anyone's sympathy right now.

I hurt the two girls I cared for all because I was too in my feelings to think straight.

And now my mistakes are on the internet for Jungkook to see.

"Fuck!" A random throw pillow is flung to the other side of the room, hitting the wall with a soft thud. At the back of my mind, I hear Namjoon say "don't go down that road", but in the moment it doesn't matter.

I clench my hands as I look for something else to quell the adrenaline within me. And as I'm about to ruin a perfectly good vase, a grip on my hand stops me.

Jimin wears no expression, and though his grip is tight and unwavering, the other hand that lands on my shoulder is soft and comforting.

Ironically, this is not the Jimin I want right now. I want judgemental and mean Jimin back, so he can yell at me and curse me and hate me until I hate myself enough.

But this Jimin calms me down and reassures me enough to bring me down from my destructive high. So I slump my shoulders in defeat, letting Jimin drop the vase back on the stand.

"This is not how we're going to solve this fucking mess." His tone is neutral, neither showing malice nor love. "We have to go to Jungkook's house and talk about this."

I shake my head, "Jungkook won't want to see me right now." I tell him, "And I can't."

Jimin looks to my brothers, for what I don't know, and they nod their heads. Soon enough they leave the room, and it's only me and Jimin in the living room.

Once they're gone, my weight gives up and I slowly slump to the floor, banging my head against the wall behind.

Jimin squats down too.

"You love Jessica?" It's a question, with no irritation or judgement in Jimin's voice. His eyes move up from my hands, to my wrinkled shirt, all the way up to my tear stained eyes. He holds his neutral gaze, waiting for me to answer.

"That's a–" my voice cracks, "tough question."

Jimin shakes his head. "No it isn't. You either love someone, or you don't. If that question makes you think so much, then you probably don't love her."

Don't love her? That's absurd. All I've done for the past year is love her.

Things have just gotten so complicated in the past few months, with Lola coming into my life and me kissing Jessica, that it distorted everything–and made even my emotions confused.

"I couldn't imagine not loving her." That's the honest truth. "But nowadays I just...I don't know, I'm a fucking selfish asshole."

"True," Jimin does not disagree. "About the asshole part. Not quite sure about the selfish one."

I try to refute but he stops me. "Hey, let me finish, you self-hating man whore."

"Sometimes, you're so blinded by the idea of being with someone that you don't even notice how that person has changed." His stare is faraway now, and I wonder what exactly he's thinking of. "You loved the old, superficial version of Jessica. Not the new one."

"What?"

Jimin picks at his nails. "The Jessica I know talks about Jungkook's dick. The Jessica I know is a lowkey savage. The Jessica I know loves watching reality shows to make fun of how stupid they are. Though Jessica can suck my fucking dick now because she's a whore–but not the point. The point is, how did you see Jessica?"

It seems my jaw has dropped because Jimin lightly taps my chin.

"Let me guess–you saw Jessica as sweet, innocent, stubborn, and adorable right?"

"Well–yes," I stumble. "Isn't that how she is?"

Jimin looks at me with a story in his eyes, like I've been left out of an inside joke that I was supposed to be in. "She's not just sweet and innocent Jessica, Taehyung. Jungkook and I saw more to her when she opened up and showed us. But with you, she just showed you what you wanted to see."

My heart drops so far I can feel it in my stomach.

So all this time I've been chasing after her, it wasn't really her I was chasing after?

Who did I fall in love with? An idea of someone? What she allowed me to see?

"Oh my god."

My love for Jessica isn't love. No.

This is just another Jungkook and Lola story.

"We only superficially love each other." This is it. This is the biggest epiphany I've had all year. Jimin just dumped a cold bucket of water all over me and now my eyes have never been so clear.

"Yup, like how Jungkook and Lola were in that fake ass relationship."

Jimin sighs, "Y'all only want to love each other because it seems easy. But love isn't always easy, I've learned."

Jimin's eyes are, once again, faraway. This makes me wonder if maybe, Jimin's been going through the same shit as everyone else in this drama show.

"Jimin, are you–"

"So, now that we've established that what you feel for Jessica is actually your human subconscious love for aesthetics," he cuts me off for the millionth time, "what are you going to say for Jungkook when he comes for your ass?"

: :

J i m i n

"So I took your advice girl!" I barge into the two bedroom apartment, uncaring of that privacy people always talk about.

Hey, next time, they won't give me the fucking key to the house.

"So you talked to everyone?"

"What? God, no." I laugh. "I only talked to Taehyung and Jungkook. I did yell at Jessica through text though."

Amaka looks up from her computer to glare at me. "When I said talk to everyone, I meant everyone. You wanted to be the middleman, did you not?"

I roll my eyes, whining, "But I hate Lola so much! She's a fake ass bitch, and she'll be a dead bitch soon if she fucks with my friends one more time. Just saying."

"Even if she is a bitch, she has her reasons."

I plop down on the couch, annoyed by the interest my friend takes in this Lola girl. "Why do you care so much anyways? Is it because you and Lola are both Nigerian? Like it's understandable since y'all are the only two Nigerians in that shitty school, but please stop making me think about her."

I hate her and that's the fact. How can someone date someone for months then drop them like they never existed? That's what she did to Jungkook, she hurt him like he meant nothing and expected me to stay civil afterwards.

Nah bitch, Imma fucking come for you.

However, I disliked her even before Jungkook started dating her, because I heard the rumours. I knew Jungkook was only a new flavour, but no one wanted to listen to me because apparently Lola's the realist bitch in school.

The truth is, Lola's fake as fuck. And she only proved my point more when she went after Taehyung. That's against every code; you don't just go for your ex's best friend.

And how did Jessica fit into the equation? I don't fucking know, but hey, Lola hates on her too.

That's why I say she's fake and is probably using Taehyung as a Vitamin D supplement.

Amaka just keeps typing, ignoring my questions like the uncaring queen she is.

I need someone to vent my frustrations on though, so right now I don't need Uncaring-I-Can-Understand-Everyone Amaka.

"Yoongi hyung!" I yell. There's no answer. "YOONGI HYUNG!"

"Lord have mercy." Amaka winces. Lol, am I that loud? Cool. "Yoongi abeg please come and satisfy this una boyfriend."

I pout. "Hey, he's not my boyfriend anymore. Stop mentioning it."

We don't mention that rebound relationship in this household.

"Whatever."

Yoongi comes out wearing his usual jeans and a t shirt. He ruffles his mint green hair, pushing it back like he's trying to make me horny.

Too bad. I don't get horny when I'm ranting.

So Yoongi listens to me rant for like, an essay long, talking about Jungkook and Taehyung and Jessica and that bitch Lola.

In the end he says, "Ah, mad oo."

I glare at Amaka with a "look what you did" stare and she raises her hands up in amusement.

"Okay but like seriously, Amaka keeps saying that I should talk to Lola or whatever," I roll my eyes. "But her mere existence irks my soul."

"Then don't talk to her." Yoongi shrugs.

"Yoongi, shut up." Amaka frowns at me. "Talk to her so you can try go squash all that nasty beef y'all be having."

"No."

"Amaka, if you really want to talk to Lola then go talk to her, stop using Jimin to try to get to her."

Why thank you, Yoongi.

Amaka scoffs, "I am not using Jimin."

"Yes you are." We both say.

I get up, "If you want to talk to Lola then go talk to her. But as far as I'm concerned, Lola and Jessica are on my fucking death note."

Amaka and Yoongi let out exasperated sighs.

Amaka tells me this, "Y'all are overdramatic as heck. What is this? A wattpad book?"

"Abi?" Yoongi rolls his eyes, using Nigerian slang once again.

She closes her laptop, finally done with whatever the hell she was writing. "I'm adding myself to this equation now. On Wednesday I'm gonna go find Lola. She needs another Nigerian in her life."

::
author's note

Triple update I'm on fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Lol I don't like switching povs within a chapter, but for today I thought "what the heck" and decided to explain Jimin's life a little–he has a secret that will soon be revealed so yeah

Also meet Amaka and Yoongi! Lol.

Vote and comment if you liked it 💕💕 Thank you for reading mwah

blackbeautaye

Mad oo.