T a e h y u n g

It's Wednesday. Wednesdays usually don't suck all the time, but I've been having this strange feeling that this Wednesday is going to be worse than usual.

Why? Well, it started with Namjoon yelling at me for being so detached and moody–he was trying to be nice and understanding at first, but I don't know, I guess he just blew up. That caused me to forget my lunch–which sucks because I didn't bring any money to pay for the school's food. To make everything worse, today we had four stomach draining tests, and I'm left feeling like a starved child at club time.

Students around me rush out of the Biology lab and chatters drown out one by one until I'm left with nothing but myself and my cursed mind.

My head falls to the table at the same time I hear Mr. Jeffrey ask, "Taehyung? Are you alright?" I grumble a yes; he takes it and tells me to close up the class once I'm ready to leave.

Do I really have to though? Can't I just skip this club shit? It's not like anyone's gonna miss me and besides, Lola's been dodging Dance club since the day after she signed up.

Fucking Lola. With her pretty eyelashes and beautiful smile and her god awful personality.

She didn't give a shit about Dance club; it was all just a part of her damn "plan". And no matter how much I think about it and replay her words over and over, I still can't wrap my head around just how fucking stupid it  is.

What kind of person goes to such lengths, just to get back together with  some dude? Who fucks with everyone else's feelings for something so damn pointless?

I'm angry. I'm so angry I feel like if I see Lola one more time I'll burst into flames and take the entire state of California down with me. I spent all night wondering what those moments we shared together were; why I  needed to be involved in her pointless plan; why I keep getting tossed aside like I'm worthless.

She used me like I meant nothing to her and she has the audacity to be mad at me for kissing Jessica?  

"Tae!" A voice drags me out of my thoughts before they can consume me again, but I don't bother looking up until I feel a delicate finger poking my elbow.

Jessica looks down on me with a small, unsure smile. "What are you doing? We have dance practice like right now."

The sun rays cast warm hues to the wisps of her hair. I focus on that instead of her voice, her eyes, anything that reminds me of how fucked up my life is. "Too depressed for that shit."

"To be honest, same." She shrugs, "But Jungkook and Lola are back together and happy and stuff, so why shouldn't I be?"

There's an undertone of bitterness in her voice, and it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one that's pissed.

Lola got what she wanted and left the rest of us with scraps. We have every damn right to be pissed.

"That's some fake ass positivity." I want to hear, no, to feel anger. I want to take someone else's rage with my own and amplify it till it's loud enough to shatter every glass in this school.

"Eh, it's better than crying all the time." Jessica doesn't give me what I want, instead she holds my hand and tries to drag me up. "Now let's get going!"

: :

Dance club comes and goes, and before I know it I'm walking out of school with Jessica by my side, just like old times. Her friend Samantha's walking with us too but I really couldn't care less about her, especially not now. The two girls are talking about an anime I've never watched, leaving me out of the conversation. Honestly though, I don't mind, because it gives me time to wallow in my pit of rage.

My mind becomes so foggy it takes me a while to realize the force that pushes against me is a person. And of course that person happens to be Jimin's friend, the one with an accent painfully similar to Lola's.

The fuck was her name again? Amara?

"Sorry for bumping into you." I try to sidestep, but she swiftly blocks me with a stretch of her hand, and I arch a brow at her, confused.

She does what I think is her version of smiling; a little quirk of the corners of her mouth. "Don't apologize, I bumped into you on purpose," she pauses, "I need to talk to you."

But I don't want to talk to her; I don't want to hear her voice; and, hell, I'm getting a headache just looking at her. 

"I don't want to though."

"Taehyung, at least hear her out." Jessica's voice is so soft but I can sense the command within it now.

I give Jessie a side glance to tell her that she's at fault if I suddenly murder someone. Then I sigh, "Is this about Jimin or something?"

"No it's about Lola."

That name alone makes me want to punch a hole through the wall. I close my eyes, trying to calm the storm that looms above me and thunders in bottled pain. 

I despise her.  

All I can feel is pure hatred and rage (sometimes, pain). Part of me just wants to find Lola now and scream in her face for everything she's ever done to me - and that's not just hurting me. I want to yell at her for listening, for pretending to care, for kissing me like all she could ever feel was my touch.

I despise her so fucking much.

"I don't think Taehyung wants to talk to Lola after all that happened..." Jessica butts in, trying to help me.

 Jimin's friend doesn't take that as an answer. "Is that true Tae? You don't want to clear the air with Lola?"

I don't even want to hear her name.

"I... just don't want to talk to her." My voice sound strained, choked even.

"Why?" She pushes further and I snap. 

"Because I'm fucking pissed at her, and if I see her one more fucking time I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna what?"

I don't need to turn around to know who that is when that voice has been engraved in my mind since the day I kissed her. 

Fuck.

"What the fuck are you gonna do Taehyung?" Her tone is ice and fire, chilling to the core but igniting something in me at the same time. "Don't you think you've fucked with me enough?"

And that's it, that's the final thread of calm left in me being snipped away like everything else she touches. 

I whip around to stare her right in the eye, further fueled by the fact that fucking Jungkook  is right next to her.

"Oh, I'm the one that fucked with you? I find that so fucking rich when you're the one who used me to get to Jungkook!"

: :

Author's note 

I'M ALIVE 

hi guys i'm so sorry i havent updated in months, I actually lost the details to this account and I couldn't log in but my best friend helped me gain this acc back so this chapter is dedicated to her.