*** Author's Note*** please put the song on repeat for at least 4 plays. W

***now***

Witty

Reaching down I turn the hot water tap on. The temperature needs to be perfect. It's almost there. I can feel its warmth slowly caressing my legs and arms. Its touch is like his; soft and gentle. Hesitant at first but more aggressive as their courage builds.

The bath bomb is slowly turning the water the color of blood. I picked this for so many, many reasons.

Its orange smell fills my lungs and I start to relax. I can feel my skin tingling.

I have candles lit. They give the room a romantic glow. Just the same as when he...

I push those thoughts away. I cannot think about him, or I will never be able to do this.

I reach over and turn on the playlist I created.

The new version of Wicked games starts and the music is intoxicating.

I start to go through the check list again:

1) Make reservation at motel under his name
2) Clean room
3)burn all my drawings
4) burn my journals
5) Tell them I am staying at a friends tonight for study sessions.
6) Tell the friend I cannot come over to stay, I have been grounded. Again.
7) Get her pills from cabinet
8) Get his liquor from the freezer
9)write the Goodbye
10) Do it and Disappear

Almost all the items I wrote on the paper were checked off.

The next one was the letter. I cannot begin to explain why I am doing this. But maybe, just maybe you someone can. Pulling the paper and tablet to me I started to write...

OK. One left.

The water caresses my body.

The bath salts sooth my skin

The Liquor will sooth my mind.

The pills will sooth my soul.

Oddly, I am not scared any more.

"Blue Skies" by Willie Nelson finishes and "The Sound of Silence" by Disturbed starts. The version from Conan? It's a fitting song to the end this misery.
I set it to repeat.

In 3 drinks I finish the bottle. It burns a little on the first. But, by the last drink, the one I used to swallow the bottle of pills, it tastes like water and fills me with a calm numbness that eases the fear.

Slowly I reach up and put the volume up to the max.

Wow, this little blue tooth speaker has amazing quality.

I forgot to feed my goldfish.

That boy in class today was really nice to me.

Odd, the things that pass across your mind at the end?

The water is starting too get cloudy.

I think it's my tears mixing with the bath salts.

---

~ Ok my family of Unicorns i hope we can get through this together. Remember, always you are all my truest family and i am always here for you. This story is so important to me. So, please, please do not be silent. Leave your comments and thoughts and let help each other out of the darkness and silence to the light together.