This chapter is a little bit too long but I hope you can still enjoy it :) (I apologize for any grammatical errors)

The song's My immortal by Evanescence *.* It's a sad song but listen to it while reading the lyrics before reading chapter 3 :)

*************************************

Arthit opened his eyes after a while, a strong headache tortured him as soon as he opened his eyes. His whole body ached as if his body was shaken up for a long moment. His vision still blurry, he touched his forehead to lessen the pain but it didn't help either. He felt something like water on his head and hand whereupon he saw to his hand, only to realize that a red stain was on his palm. The shorter man shook his head to adjust to his vision but the fast movement compounded his headache even more. A soft moan escaped his mouth. Now that his vision turned clearlier, he finally recognized the red stain as blood.

„B... Blood?", Arthit was surprised to find himself with a cut on his forehead.

Finally his eyes set upon to his front, everything was upside down. What the hell? He gasped in shock when he realized that not the world was upside down but himself. He was still in the car, his seatbelt still around him, the hood of the car was unfortunately crushed by the big tree they collided with. All the sudden his eyes widened in shock, the memory of the night flashed in his head as if he was seing a vision.

A moment ago he was on his way back home with his husband, they were humming a song till his husband tried to avoid a frontal crash with another car that lost control with the ground. His eyes widened in shock as he remembered that his husband was beside him a moment ago. His eyes wandered around till he cound his other half, the lover of his life, beside him on the driver seat. The latter, still fastened with the belt, had his arms on Arthit. He was motionless, more like unconscious. Blood streamed down out of the taller man's mouth. Arthit froze on the spot from shock, his hands trembling when he reached out to him.

„D... Darling?", a cry for him escaped his mouth.

The shorter man's hand rested on the taller man's cheek, the latter felt somehow cold, his lips were blue too. Shocked about the cold body of his always warm husband, Arthit shook his head, denying the thought swirling in his mind. There was only a reason why a human's warm body would turn cold and it was after the person died but Arthit refused to believe that he was dead. He gathered his last courage to lay a finger under his nose, his finger was shaking the more he came closer to him. No breath came from the older man... There wasn't any exhaled air brushing against his finger. No... No... It can't be!

Warm tears filled Arthit's eyes, they rolled down. When he realized that his husband wasn't breathing nor replying back to him, he gently shook the taller man's on the shoulders. Feeling agitated about it, he started hitting against his chest as if he was massaging his heart. But instead of waking up, the taller man's body slumped down from the rough touch, falling onto Arthit. Panic overcame the younger man, he didn't know how to save him so he just followed his instinct, hitting harder on his chest while crying for him to wake up.

All the sudden the sound of inhaling air echoed in the air, the sound came from the taller man. A relieved sigh escaped Arhtit's mouth, he smiled from relief. But his happiness didn't last long as a strong smell raised in the air, he wrinkled his nose to smell it even more. Pe... Petrol? The hood of the car was in flame too. No... We have to get out of here. Arthit tried to take off his belt off but it was stuck up. He pulled on it, hurting his hand but it wouldn't still come off. It didn't matter to him that it hurted, the only thing mattering was to save them from an explosion. The belt finally came out, he crawled out of the vehicle, injuring his hands and knees with broken glasses but he swallowed down the pain, came out of the car then rushed to his husband's side. He touched the latter's cheek again, calling his name to wake up but the latter didn't still regain his consciouness. He forgot his intention to wake him up but crawled in the vehicle to unfasten his belt too. It was stuck up too but no matter how hard he tried to take it off, it didn't come off either. He searched for a sharp object to cut it off, his attention was adverted to the broken glasses of the windows. There was a bigger piece of brokem glass on the ground, he grabbed it then began cutting off the belt.

Meanwhile the smell of the petrol stronger to reek in the air, streamed down to the hood that was still burning. Arthit ignored the fact that the car could explode soon, the only thought dawning in his head was how to save his darling. He wouldn't leave without him no matter the circumstance. The broken glass he used to cut the belt injured his palm but he ignored the pain, hurrying with cutting the belt.

Finally he managed to cut it in two, he touched his husband under the arms then pulled him out of the car. Since the latter was taller, he weighed more than the shorter man so it wasn't easy for Arthit to carry him out but he still gave his best. He wanted to bring them out of the dangerous zone so he wasn't careful enough, his right underarm grazed against a sharp pice of broken glass that was stuck in the door of the car. It left a deep cut from his right wrist to his ellbow, Arthit screamed in great pain. The injury burned like it was lit on fire, blood gushed out of the injury.

Arthit was badly injured but he still moved his husband of the vehicle since he didn't have time to take care of his wound nor take a break. As they were out of the vehicle's reach, the car suddenly caught fire, the petrol finally reached the flame whereupon the car exploded in front of him. The sudden raising flame affected his eyes, the force of the explosion tossed them back, Arthit hit his back against a tree, his husband falling onto his body and hitting him on his stomach. Arthit slowly fell unconscious.

****

In the big university hospital in Bangkok, prestige as most of the other hospitals in the big capital, there was an emergency alert on 4 surgeons piper. Many nurses were running with the surgeons to the entrance of the hospital. Apparantly 3 young men, involved in a fatal car crash, would be brought in the emergency romom in a few minute. The four surgeons, among them the director itself waited for them. The director had to be here because one of the injured young men was named Sutthiluck. That name wasn't unknown to most of the hospital staffs. First he was known to them because he was a regular patient who would come for his check up. Second his family had many wealth and power enough to destroy the hospital's reputation if something went wrong with their son's emergency surgery. Or the hospital could gain more power from it if they saved their son, the sole heir to the Sutthiluck.

Beside the mother of the young Sutthiluck seemed fierce enough to make even a cocroach tremble from fear by just hearing her name. The two other young victims weren't important enough to be taken care of by the director itself. Only the rich heir mattered right now. They even called Mrs. Suthiluck to inform her about her son's accident and condition. But what about the other two victims? Their familiy would be called later, surely by the nurses. So unimportant were they to them because of their poor, powerless household. Unfair, right? Only rich people had power to voice their opinion. This was how life was or the world functioned. Only if one had money and power, would the one call life fair.

The four physicians were outside, waiting for the injured men to arrive. The sirene of the ambulance resounded in the air, meaning it was in the proximity. There they was, bending on the corner and coming towards the hospital staffs. The first man laying on a stretcher was rolled out of the ambulance. It was a taller man but not Kongpob, the man the director waited for. The director let the tall man pass beside him without even giving him attention. Another surgeon with his nurses rushed behind the tall man that was directed into the operation room. The second victim wasn't the man they anticipated either but a shorter man that wasn't worth the eldest man's attention either.

Now there was Kongpob, he was attached on the stretcher, his neck wrapped in a medical neck collar to not cause any more injuries on the vertebra just like by the other two men. Now the veteran surgeon reacted fast, warning the staff to be careful to not aggravate his condition. The 3 injured men were brought in the hospital and rushed in the direction of the operating room but they were seperated on their way to the operating room. The tall man and the shorter man were brought in the right direction while Kongpob was brought in the left direction, the VIP's side for only rich people. The 3 men were seperated for today but fate will bring them together again and this time will they be able to seperate them again?

That night there were 3 men who received an emergency operation at the same time but only a young man's operation was successfull, he had a better prognose of recorvery than the other two men. That man was the shorter man.

****

3 days later

Arthit laid on the bed in one of the hospital bedroom. His right arm and head were bandaged, his torso was put in a thorasic orthosic to support the recovery of his four broken ribs his husband caused by falling onto him. There was a bandage around his eyes too to prevent him from stressing his injured eyes. There was an oxygen mask covering his nose, providing him oxygen since he breathed too much carbon dioxide and his broken ribs made the breathing harder and painfuller. His breath was shallow, the shorter man moaned in his sleep, he could hear noises around him. It sounded like rustling, maybe someone was rummaging something but he couldn't pinpoint the object the person was searching for. He slowly opened his eyes but he could only see darkness. It seemed as if something covered his eyes, letting him in the darkness. He touched the bandage covering his eyes, he was scared since he couldn't understand why his vision had to be blocked.

Arthit couldn't see the room he was in but there were many machines making peep sound beside him. One of the machines was the breathing apparatus, the other machine was controlling his vital sign. He could only guess what those machines could be but why were they around him? Where I'm? And why those many squabble sticked on my arms and chest? There was a permanent venous suprapubic catheter inserted in his neck, infusion mixed with anitbiotic streaming down from the infusion in his blood circulation. He was confused, his eyes blinked under the cover many times. A voice calling for him echoed beside him. That voice! He know who it was.

„Arthit... Arthit", an older woman in her early 50's shouted his name, feeling agitated and worried about his strange silence. She was worried that he could have another seizure just like in the other day.

„Mae", Arthit responded. She wasn't his birth mother but the woman who raised him since his second's year of age. Even if he wasn't her son, she still loved him as if he was her own son. But why's she here? What happened? Arthit's confusion raised, he took off the oxygen mask in panic, his blood pressure raising whereupon the machine peeped louder.

That his condition detoriated, made the elder woman gasp in shock. She too was in panic, didn't know how to handle the unexpected situation. However Arthit didn't still grasp the situation he was in, he wasn't aware of the fact that his condition made the woman scare for his life. The door to Arthit's bedroom opened, an older man was revealed in front of the door. The man gasped in shock then ran to them when he saw Arthit woken up but having difficulty to breath.

„I don't know what I should do, Darling", the woman tried to explain. The man was her husband, more like Arthit's father that raised him too.

The man acted quickly, pressed on the red button to call for the nurses for help. However the monitor in the nurse office alarmed the hospital staff already about Arthit's raising blood pressure and hyperventilation. Together with the female physician, two nurses dashed in the patient's room. As soon as they entered the room, a nurse put back the oxygen mask on the shorter man's nose whereas the second nurse tried to calm the scared parents. She requested of them to leave for outside so they could properly take care of the patient. The mother was crying, begging for whoever was higher than huamity to have at least mercy on one of her sons. How should she live if Arthit wouldn't wake up too? Her husband hugged her, brought her outside so the hospital staff could save their son.

The female doctor named Chaiyasan told a nurse to bring her a special kind of tranquilizer, the latter ran in their office, only to come back with a syringe. Meanwhile Arthit was gasping for air, he had the feelings he wouldn't have anough oxygen even though there was an oxygen mask providing him air. He grabbed at the bedsheet, clenching against it to fight the pain. The physician injected the syringe in the infusion, the medicine shot through the infusion in his vein. It didn't last a minute till the medicine showed his effect, Arthit's eyes were slowly closing again, his body calmed down. It didn't last long till he fell asleep, falling deep into the realm of dreams.

****

Arthit woke up after sleeping for more than 5 hours. This time he wasn't confused nor in panic because he already had the answers to his many question related to his whereabout and the state he was in. He was in the intensive care unit after he had a bad car accident with his husband and another unknown driver. Beside he remembered everything: his birthday night, the prestige restaurant they celebrated his birthday in then the bad accident with another driver who wasn't careful enough and lost control of his car because he drove too fast in the rain.

Arthit's birthday led his husband to be unconscious next to him in the car. His body shivered when he reminisced about losing his precious husband for a moment. The latter didn't breath for awhile but he managed to bring him back to life. He didn't die. Both of them were alive but their precious car was completely burned to ashes. As if the effort his husband did for saving so much money to buy their first car was in vain. For some rich people it wouldn't be nothing but to them it was their first car. The car that contained their scent everywhere.

The physician said, „I'll remove the bandage now but please listen to my advices. I'm going to tell you what you have to do after I took off the bandage... Don't act too rash or else you could stress your vision."

Doctor Chaiyasan waited till her patient nodded his head as agreed. Of course Arthit wanted the bandage to be removed quickly so he could see the broad daylight again. The people he anticipated to see again were his parents but mostly his husband. He wanted to run to his side and take care of him like his husband always did for him like making sure that he ate 3 meals a day so the latter wouldn't lose weigh. It was more like his husband didn't want him to lose his chubby cheeks he loved to pinch so much. Arthit was sure that his husband was worried about him too like he was about him.

A smile played on Arthit's lips when he imagined to see his husband soon. He would hug him as soon as he spotted him sitting on his sickbed then force him to promise him that he would never scare him like that by falling unconcious in front of him.

The physician wondered about the reason her patient was smiling but she just shrugged it off, beginning to take off the bandage. „Don't open your eyes untill I say so", she warned him again.

After she took off the corver, Arthit still closed his eyes, waiting for ther further advices.

„Now slowly open your eyes, close it again then open it the second time. Do it slowly and many times till you can see me clearly", was her last advice.

The shorter man did as she told him. The first time he slowly opened his eyes, he realized 4 persons surrounding him. Two females on his right side, a man and another third woman standing left to him. The man had his arm around the woman's back as if he was supporting her. Arthit closed his eyes again then opened it again. He did the same four times till his vision turned clearlier, it was a relief for him to see the light again. The ohysician lighted her medical Aid Pen Light on his eyes to see his eye's reaction. They were moving according to her pen's movement just like they should be. Great! Now Arthit could recognize the four persons around him. The two women beside him were the physician and a nurse. The two person to his left were his parents. But something was amiss. No, someone was missing. It was his beloved husband.

Where is he? Arthit was worried, insecure too because he didn't find him beside him. Maybe he was badly injured than I expected and couldn't leave his sickbed yet. Yeah, it must be the reason why I don't see him here. He knew it was a lie to calm down his restless heart. There was chaos in his head but he still played calm to not worry his parents again. I have to remain calm to not snap out. He played with his fingers, intertwining them then undid them only to intertwine them a second later. There was a question he wanted to have answer to but wasn't brave enough to ask it. He was afraid they could give him an unexpected reply that could hurt him so he choose to stay quiet. But he was too curious to know about his husband. His instinct warned him not to ask about his whereabout because the truth could hurt him but his heart was skipping a beat to know where he was.

„Where... Where is P'?", finally the question came out of his mouth.

All the sudden there was dead silence in the hospital room, the hospital staff looked at each other then at the parents of Arthit's husband. Yeah, Arthit's parents who raised him were his husband's parents. They were also his parents-in-law. Arthit felt nervous, the silence killing him slowly. Now his anxiety raised. Some people said that no news was good news but for Arthit it was the contrary. For him no news was bad news because it could be that something bad happened to his husband while he was waiting here, feeling anxious about it. His body trembled from fear, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, he felt hot all the sudden.

Arthit gulped heavily before asking the question again, „Where is my husband?"

„I...", the physician wanted to explain but the mother interfering, brought her to shut her mouth.

„I'll tell him myself", she wanted to force a smile but failed to do so. Only a sorrowful expression appeared on her face. She faced the physician, „Could you leave us alone, please?", she friendly asked of them.

„Yeah... sure", the doctor replied, leaving the room with the young nurse.

After the door was closed behind them, the mother-in-law sat down beside her son-in-law. She wanted to convey the news but the painful words refused to come out. Her husband turned around, hiding his eyes filled with tears that was about to fall down. Arthit found his behaviour strange, it was the first time the latter acted so emotional in front of him. Is he sad? What is going on? Why's everyone keeping quiet, scaring me for maybe nothing? The shorter man's heart throbbed the more he had to wait for their reply.

The mother touched Arthit's pale cheek, holding his hand with her other hand, caressing the back of his hand. She felt warm but there was a sad feeling hiding in her lovely touch.

„I'm sorry... I'm sorry but he didn't make it", she sobbed while revealing him the truth, tears falling down nonstop, her voice cracking in the end.

Her revealation made Arthit to freeze on the spot. Somehow he didn't understand the meaning of her answer. What does she wants to tell me? His mind was in a clear state but he still wasn't able to grasp the situation. The younger man's fingers itched, „What do you mean?"

„Your husband is in the intensive care unit too... He's here too but", she couldn't win over herself to break the sad, painful news.

„Can you be more specific?", his voice raised from anxiety. Arthit never raised his voice towards his parents before but the circumstance made him shout at them for the first time in his life.

His parents-in-law didn't take his anger to heart since they knew that he had every right to be angry right now. According to them, Arthit could even let out his anger at them until he would be satisfied. They wanted him to vent his feelings instead of hiding them inside him till he wouldn't take it anymore. It was difficult for the mother to tell him the truth that would break his heart. She was sure her precious Arthit would lose his sanity when he found out about his husband's bad condition so she wanted him to yell at them as much as he wanted to.

The mother was careful, promised to herself to react quickly as soon as Arthit's condition deteriated because she didn't want to lose another son. Her husband came behind her after he managed to collect himself, caressing her shoulder to give her his support. She laid her hand on her husband's hand that was resting on her shoulder.

Arthit lowered his voice to show them his respect, „He's alive, right?", he wanted to make sure that he didn't miss any information. „Please tell me, he's alright", he pleaded as if his sad plead would change the situation, turn the time back to make everything alright like he want it to be. Finally he realized from their odd silence that something bad happened to his love but he didn't want to believe it either. His instinct warned him not to be curious about it but he wanted to know about his. He brought it onto himself by asking the question he should have never even think about. If he did listen to his instinct instead to his heart, he wouldn't be tormented by the pain nor the uncertainity if his husband was alive or not.

„Please", the younger man begged again, sounded like he wanted good news from them to calm down since he was restless right now.

The mother-in-law slowly shook her head, „He's braindead", there was the painful reality Arthit didn't want to hear.

Arthit blinked many times, he had the answer but the words didn't reach him yet. He was so confused that he didn't understand her clearlier. A smile cracked on his face, it wasn't a bright nor a genuine smile but a smile filled with pain, confusion, sorrows and worries. „What do you mean with braindead?"

„They said there isn't any brain activities anymore so he won't ever wake up again. He's surrounded by machines that is keeping him alive but he's already braindead", after saying the information she didn't want to believe either, she broke down in tears. She was being hugged by her darling who tried to calm her.

„No... No", Arthit said while shaking his head. „I can't believe you... It can't be", he denied the truth, his heart beating faster and harder too as if it was squeezed in a hand. It was hard for him to breath regularly, he panted, tears suddenly streaming down his eyes. He stood up, „I don't believe you", he repeated.

His parents rushed to his side, wanted to calm him down but he brushed them off, taking steps back to avoid being touched by them.

„What're you saying that he's braindead? He was with me a moment ago and now you're telling me that 3 days passed already by and he's being declared as braindead?", he shouted at them, feeling angry towards them for lying to him without even batting their eyes. „Do you expect me to believe this nonsense?". He felt like they were playing jokes with him he didn't even like. „Such jokes are not funny", it sounded like he was reprimanding them to not play games with him anymore.

His body wobbled as soon as he took the first step forwards but he still walked forwards, staggering out of his room. His parents came in front of him, blocking his way to prevent him from affecting his health.

Arthit glared at them but changed his expression to a sad one when he noticd that they were blocking his way because they were just worried about him. „Please, get out of my way", he begged them, thinking his soft voice could make them make way for him. „Tell me where he is?"

But no matter how much he pleaded, they wouldn't let him see his husband's state he was in right now. Fort he parents, it was too late for their son but they wanted to save Arthit. Maybe it would be better if he didn't see him right away. It was the kind of thought that prevented his parents to let him go see their braindead son. They were worried for Arthit's health but the shorter man was losing his patience with them. Since his soft voice didn't help, his blood boiled from anger. He screamed, leaned his hand against the doorframe to support his weigh since he was about to lose his balance. „Tell me where he is!", again he raised his voice towards them, attracting the nurses and visitors attention to them.

His father finally told him the number of the room their son was laying. The nurses ran to them to help them but Arthit ignored them, staggering aside, looking at the number written on the sign beside every room. His body felt heavy and weak too so he almost fell down on the ground but he gathered himself, staggering fowards while resting his hand on the wall to support his balance. There was the room he was searching for. Arthit remained in front of the bedroom, closely followed by 2 nurses and his parents to help him if he panicked after seeing his husband's bad state. So my husband is in this room? I will see him soon, hug him and tell him how much I missed him and love him. Surely, he would grin to see me again. He couldn't wait to meet him again so he adjusted to his hospital clothes to look more decent for him. Or else he would be worried if he see me looking shabby like a homeless. He reached out his hand to open the door, it trembled the closer he got to the door knob. While hoping the latter was safe and sound, he slowly opened the door only to see that his love was laying on the bed, not moving nor waking up to welcome him with a big smile.

His P' laid motionless on the bed, many machines around him, beside him was another man who seemed to be in a coma too. The machine that was controlling his breath and vital sign, was louder than the one in his own hospital room. There was an intubation leading in the taller man's mouth since he wasn't breathing by himself, many squabbles hanging here and there on his body. Arthit was shocked to see his always cheerful husband to lay low on the bed, he was speechless and frozen on the spot too. He staggered to him, arrived beside him, taking his hand into both of his hands, stroking with his thumb over the back of his husband's hand he was holding. Somehow he felt warm. Never would he believe that such a warm person would be braindead. Arthit was happy to see him safe and sound, a smile appeared on his lips. Arthit wasn't thinking straight or else why would he confuse a braindead man with a dead man. A person who didn't had any brain activities would always be warm since his heart would still function, keep his body alive by providing his body with blood and oxygen.

„I'm glad you're safe and sound", was the first words to his husband. „I'm here so you can wake up now."

There was no respond from the taller man, the latter was still laying there with closed eyes, motionless like never before. His skin was too pale but Arthit was sure that it must be from the lack of oxygen. A moment went by but the latter didn't still reply to him. The shorter man was disappointed that he ignored his calls but he choose to let him sleep for awhile. He would wake up after he took a long rest.

„Child, he won't hear you", his mother told him, trying to bring him to his senses. Somehow she was worried he would lose his sanity soon if he still didn't believe them that he wouldn't open his eyes again.

„Of course he heard me. He's just sleeping", he convinced himself that he wasn't braindead but was just sleeping, dreaming about him or his family. Yeah, it should be it. He was deep asleep that was why he didn't wake up yet.

The mother came in front of him, going on her knees to make him listen to her. She touched his hand to give him some of her warmth, „Listen to me, my child. He can't hear you because he's already dead... We let the machine to keep him alive for so long because we want you to see him before they turn off the machine."

„What the hell are you talking about?"

„You need to make a choice, Arthit."

„Which decision?"

She brought out a small card out of her pocket. The small card surprisely contained Arthit's husband name with informations like his birth, blood group and his signature. Arthit's eyes widened in shock when he finally realized what the card was for. Organ donor card! Right, his husband was an organ donor. He signed up for organ donation 3 months ago because he wanted to help sick people who needed organ transplantation to have a better and longer life. Arthit remembered the day he showed him the card.

Flashback

His husband sneaked in the kitchen, suddenly hugging Arthit who was cooking something on the stove from behind. The shorter man jumped in surprise but smiled as he recognized the man behind him as his husband. The older man leaned his cheek against the latter's chubby but soft cheek. He showed him the small card, holding it up in front of him. Arthit read the information on it, it contained the taller man's name with his personal data like his birthday, birthplace and his signature.

„I want to help people in need... I don't know if I have a matching with another person but I hope I can help the person with my organ."

Arthit turned back to face him, crossing his arms around the latter's neck, giving him a passionate kiss on the cheek. The taller man was sulking, poiting his finger to his lips, telling him that his lips needed to be loved too or else they would be lonely.

„I'll kiss you if you promise me one thing", Arthit gave him an ultimatum before kissing him on the lips. He placed a hand on his chest, feeling his sweet heartbeat, „Don't give up your heart to anyone."

„Of course I can't give up my heart to anyone because I need it to love you."

Arthit laughed, shaking his head. „So cheesy...", he came closer to him then gave him a lovely kiss on the lips.

He knew his husband was a generous person but that the latter was brave enough to sign up for organ donation made him speechless. His love for him spakled anew, he was proud of him without knowing that his organ would be needed someday. Arthit didn't knew that his organ would only be needed if he was declared as braindead, meaning he would lose him forever.

End of Flashback

The older woman noticed that her son-in-law was remembering something sad since his face dropped all the sudden. She continued speaking to him, „I know it's hard to accept his death. He's dead but he can still save other people. They want us to give his organs because there's someone who needs his heart as soon as possible. I thought you have the right to decide which day they should turn off the machine that is keeping him alive."

„Don't talk to me about such subject", Arthit was irritated to talk about that sensitive topic.

„Arthit?"

„Mae, please can you stop saying that he won't wake up again... Can't you see that his heart is beating?", he took her hand to place it at his husband's chest. He smiled at his beating heart, „See mae, he's breathing."

His father turned back, sobbing by himself. He couldn't take it anymore so he exited the room to hide aside, leaning his back against the wall, sliding down till he sat down on the ground, his legs bending up. Tears rolled down his eyes, he looked up on the ceiling. Another young man, still in his teen, approached them. He gasped in shock when he noticed the elder man sitting on the ground.

„Por, what's wrong?", the young man was their second son that was supposed to take care of his braindead older brother while his parents were by Arthit.

As his father didn't answer him, he choose to take a look in the room, only to see Arthit sitting on the bed next to his brother, talking to him, still refusing to believe that he was dead. The second son too was shocked, his heart was in pain when he finally realized that they told his brother-in-law that his husband died. It was a sad sight, one had to be strong enough to withstand the situation.

Arthit made a wrong movement by bending too close to his lover, pain shot through his body, his chest was hurting. He suddenly let go of the taller man's hand to grab at his chest, trying to ease the pain. The hand fell hard against the metal armrest of the bed but the latter didn't make a sound to show that it hurted. Arthit was speechles, he stared at him with a confusing look in the eyes. Why didn't he twitch in pain? It's as if... as if... It finally dawned in Arthit's head: It should have hurt but his husband didn't react. Meaning he wasn't capable of feeling any pain. The fact that his husband lost any sense of feeling pain took him back, he was scared that his parents were telling him the truth. His heart thumped faster by that thought. Still he didn't want to admit that there wasn't any brain activities in his husband's head.

Silence took over the room. His trembling indexfinger moved to the taller man, he laid his finger under his nose, trying to feel his breath. But no exhaled air grazed his finger. Scared about the fact that he wasn't breathing by himself, Arthit shook him on the shoulders, calling his name many times. But the latter didn't still wake up. Arthit panicked, his mind in chaos. Tears filled his eyes but he hold them back to not snap out. How should I live if he was practically dead? How should I live without him?

„No, no, no. You can't do that to me", Arthit cried, begged him to wake up, taking him into an embrace and telling him that everything was a bad joke or a bad dream. It felt like torture to wait for the latter to open his eyes. But no matter how long he waited for him, the latter wouldn't open his eyes nor move his hand to touch him. Arthit shook him harder, feeling pain himself from the rough movement but he ignored his sufferings because the pain in his heart was more painful. „You can't die and leave me alone. You promised me not to give up your heart to anyone", tears rolled down nonstop, falling onto the taller man's face.

An odd atmosphere laid in the air, there was silence in the entire intensive care, only Arthit's cry echoed in the air, letting everyone feel the sadness. The entire hospital staffs and the other guests visting their ill family member hold on their breath, witnessing the pain a husband felt after finding out that his husband died the night of his birthday. It was a painful experience to watch but some were curious to find more about the grieving husband so they couldn't take their eyes from him. The sensitive people who couldn't take it anymore, turned away to avoid looking at the sadness in his eyes. A few nurses were crying for the grieving Arthit too. The director was among them, he had to be there since he was one who sugested the family to turn off the machine that is keeping Arthit's husband alive. Why he rushed them? The reason for him to rush them would be find out soon.

Arthit cried, apologizing to his husband that he was proud of him for signing up for organ donation without knowing that he would have to die soon. Now he was even the one who was needed to decide for the day and time he should die. Arthit found life unfair. Life was cruel to him.

****

The moment Arthit was grieving for giving up on his husband's life, there was another sad situation going on in another patient's room. This time the situation didn't occur in the normal intensive care unit but in the VIP's room. The private big room was reserved for a young man named Kongpob Sutthiluck. He laid on the bed, his injured head was bandaged, his broken left underarm put in a cast, an oxygen mask was on his nose to provide him oxygen. Since his car didn't overturn like Arthit's car, he was lucky enough to only have a cut on his head and a broken arm. But his heart was the main problem. No matter how hard they tried to save his heart, it refused to work like before because of his heart disease. Because of his weak heart, they put him in an artificial coma to let him rest for awhile.

The director, 2 beautiful young nurses, Arthit's female physician and Mrs. Suthiluck were beside the sick bed. The director waited in front of the fierce Mrs. Suthiluck, his put arms behind his back as if he was standing before the First Lady and needed to be careful around her. There was a reason why he had to be humble in front of her. If he didn't want to damage their hospital's reputaion, he should bow down to her as much as possible.

Mrs. Suthiluck caressed her son's cheeck, turned over towards the director, her eyes reflected the anger she failed to hide. „Why didn't my son wake up till now?"

„We... We're doing our best madame but his heart is damaged. He'll have a cardiac infarction if we wake him up too soon", the elder man answered her.

„What're you doing instead of finding him a possible donor?", she yelled at them, didn't even have any respect for her elder.

„Your son is the first in the list of receiver of organ transplantation. We have to wait..."

Mrs. Suthiluck wasn't interested in the explaination the female physiscian was giving her. She didn't want to listen to any excuses so she just turned to her son, coming closer to him while begging him to wake up. Tears filled her eyes but she hold them back since she was a prestige woman who needed to contain her composure. She shouldn't let those poor people see her weakness no matter the circumstance.

„We're just waiting for the donor's husband to turn off the machine so we can give his heart to your son", the eldest man suddenly said, breaking the silence.

Now it aroused Mrs. Suthiluck's interest, she turned to the eldest physician, „What's taking the man so long to turn off his husband's machine? I feel bad for them that my son caused the accident but the man's already dead so his husband shouldn't dwell too much on him as if he would wake up from the dead the longer he stared at him", she said, glaring at the physician and telling them they should persuade the man to decide quickly.

Now Mrs. Chaiyasan pictured the two men they were talking about. It was her poor patient Arthit Rojnapat's and his husband who was declared as brain dead 3 days ago. No way... Her eyes widened in shock when she finally understood why her superior rushed the family to turn off the machine that was keeping their son alive. He planed to give my patient's heart to the young Suthiluck? But why? Because Kongpob was a sole heir and the hospital would benefit from the rich Suthiluck? She clenched her hands into fists, her blood boiling in anger towards her superior and the rich Mrs. Suthiluck. How could Mrs. Suthiluck think about the pitiful Arthit like that? The young man has to kill his husband for her son to live. If the braindead man is your son, would you still speak so heartless too?

„We'll do our best to persuade them to give up on him soon", the superior promised her, bowing his head down to her before leaving the patient's room.

The female physician closely followed her superior, she wanted to express her emotions but the two nurses beside them prevented her to speak from the bottom of her heart. She didn't want them to listen to their conversation so she grabbed at the director's arm, forcing him to wait with her till the nurses disappeared in their office. The latter yanked his arm out of her grip, adjusting to his messed up collar.

„Don't tell me the donor's Arthits Rojnapat's husband?"

„What if it's him? Will you stop me from giving his heart to the young Suthiluck?"

„You know I'll be against the idea that's why you didn't tell me about it beforehand. Mr. Suthiluck practically caused my patient's death."

One could say she was right with her reproach. Kongpob caused the accident that led into a young man's death and another man to grief over the lost of his husband. Because of his weak heart and his fast driving speed, two young men had to suffer. His disease led his weak heart to had an artrial fibrilation so that the body wasn't provided with enough oxygenated blood whereas his body didn't function for a moment. The too fast speed brought him to lose control over his car. Those few seconds were fatal for the married couple, it finally led to a tragedy.

„Listen, Jane. It doesn't matter who's the donor."

„Of course it does matter. Does Mrs. Suthiluck know about it?"

The director sighed, „Yes, she knows her son caused his death... What the hell is wrong with you? We're doctors who should save our patient."

„I'm a human being before a doctor. A mother with a child in their age too."

„We're working over 20 years together so don't try to destroy our relationship. Just think about it. Kongpob is just in his early 20, the same age as your son is. Wouldn't you do the same if the young man laying in the bed isn't Kongpob but your son?"

„Don't!", she warned him not to use her son as excuse for his own benefit.

„Think more about it."

The director distanced himself from her, leaving her alone in the floor. She ruffled her hair messy, yanking at her hair to let her frustration out. Doctor Chaiyasan knew her colleague wasn't trying to save Kongpob but his reputation. He wanted to have a higher position in the hospital. Everything was for his own sake.

Doctor Chaiyasan went back in the intensive care unit to look for her patient. The amtosphere in the unit care didn't change although the guests were already taking care of their sick family member. There was still tension laying in the air. As she passed beside the room Arthit and the family Rojnapat were residing, she took a look through the window on the door.

Arthit was still in the room, sitting beside his dead husband, holding onto his hand, his head leaned on the taller man's chest. He was still crying, couldn't let go of his dead husband even though he finally realized that he wouldn't wake up no matter how loud he screamed for him.

The shorter man was blaming himself that he didn't change his husband's decision to sign up for an organ donation. Beside the decision which day and time the machine should be turned off, was up to him. It gave him the feelings that he would be the one to take his husband's life away. Why is life so unfair to me? Why do I have to suffer so much? Arthit was sure he would never love anybody just like his husband? He was sure there weren't anyone who would make him forget his husband and be happy again.

***************************************

I didn't put any warning before the text because it was just a little bit bloody but too sad :( So like most of you said Arthit's husband's heart will be given to Kongpob, the man who caused his death... Let's see how their relationship will develop later. But how would both of them react if they found out about that big secret?

Another side note: I feel sad and sorry for people who need organ transplantation, for the donors and their family. My mother don't want me to be a donor since she don't trust the field that is dealing with organ donation -.- (I only signed up to help people with leukemia)