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                            3rd person
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  Peter turned to see Wade's best friend, Weasel. The taller brought Peter into a tight embrace. "Congratulations! Wade and I were discussing some things and he brought up the fact that you were pregnant! Peter felt heat rise to his cheeks,"yes" weasel smirked,"have you gotten an ultrasound to see how many?" He joked. Peter laughed,"not quite yet, but I have an appointment for that scheduled tomorrow."

Weasel nodded,"well if you need anything, feel free to ask." Peter giggled and nodded.

"So what brings you to Target?" Peter asked. Weasel smiled,"as much as I would love to say what he told me to say, I couldn't lie to Wade's baby boy. Peter head tilted to the side. Weasel laughed,"nothing bad... he just asked if I could help nail some of the things on his list because he wanted to plan something special for you."

Peter laughed nervously,"well who am I to turn down a gift from my lovely boyfriend." Weasel snickered,"welp, I should be going." Peter nodded,"alright, bye Weasel!" Weasel waved a quick good bye and walked into a different section of the store.

  Weasel smirked and called wade,"hey I bought you more time. Operation baby boy is a go..." Wade felt a smirk across his face. He bit his lip and shoved an apple, a suit, a knife, a gun, a blind fold, a super sour jaw breaker, a sticky note, and a pencil into a black duffle bag with hello kitty duct tape all over it.

  He ran down to Johnny's home, via rooftop. He went down the chimney and coughed so to the soot. He stood up,"wouldn't be surprised if this is the reason Santa doesn't visit him..." He stood up and placed some sticky notes on a half full milk carton. He wrote on the sticky notes with haste. He snuck out and waited.

  Meanwhile, Weasel was decorating Peter's backyard to look like a beautiful white gazebo with pink fringe. Rose vines swirled up the pedestals that helped support the structure. Weasel set up a magnificent dinner placed on a silver platter and all. He has two silver goblets on either side of the table. Peter's filled with Pinot Noir. Wade's had been filled with Scotch.

  Peter was driving back home. Wade had been in his way back. He smirked and changed into a suit. He didn't bother spraying cologne or showering, but he had the scent of homosexuality covering him.

  He smiled and hugged Weasel,"Thankyou so much!!!" Weasel nodded,"I'm used to this crazy shenanigans of yours and I'm ready for more in phase two of operation baby boy."

  Peter walked inside,"Wade!" He called out. No answer. He walked upstairs,"Wade!" No answer. He went to the backyard,"Wa-" he paused. "Wade this is beautiful..." Wade strode over to him and got behind him, hugging the brunette from behind,"only the best for my beautiful baby boy..." Peter blushed

  Wade took Peter to his seat. Peter sat down. Wade seated himself on the opposite side. Peter looked into his own goblet and his eyes widened,"my favorite... how did you know?" Wade laughed,"I got help from an alcoholic beverage professional..."

  Peter nodded slowly. Weasel approached them on their left side,"tonight for appetizers you have hot and sour soup." He lifted the lid of the silver platter,"you will have a side of salad." Peter clapped. Weasel smiled in satisfaction,"and for your main course you will be having roast pork." Peter marveled at the food and began eating. Peter ate quietly.
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                            Meanwhile
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  Johnny approached his drive and opened it to discover a sticky note on the carton of expired milk. He tilted his head up the side and read it

   'Dear mr. Storm'   He read. He took note of the poor hand writing. He continued to read.

  'We have Wade Wilson. We desire to kill him, but you must come. We have heard of your feelings for him, and we think you should get the honor of killing him yourself. You worked so hard for it after all. We can take care of the body after you're done.

  If you don't come at 2:00 A.M. tomorrow to the abandoned wear house on 5th, we not only let wade go, but we give him all the money needed for a full wedding. I suggest you come.'

  Johnny growled, noticing the entire thing, despite how professional it sounded, was written in crayon. He crumpled it up and smirked,"I'll be there."
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  AND THAT IS A WRAP
Okay, sorry I took so long to recover, but I'm back. I also just came back from Alaska. It's absolutely beautiful.

Yeah bitch I took that picture ^^^
I took it from the plane XD

Some things I'd like to address.

1. Operation baby boy is about assassinating Johnny, not the gazebo

2. Anyone notice how wade used only 1 of the things he packed in the duffle bag. He's preparing for the next chapter

3. I kind of love how wade packed a pencil but he wrote the notes in crayon still.

4. Pinot Noir is a type of red wine and Scotch is a type of whiskey.

5. Be more chill is infecting my system like some sort of drug

6. 2 more days till my birthday!!!

7. I'm getting a deadpool pillow case

8. I

9. Can't

10. Breathe

11. Right

12. Nowwwwwww

Anyways that's it.

Ohhhh wait...
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  Wade glanced up at the ceiling once in private,"author dearest?"

"Yes?"

"When will me and Petey have hot spider sex?"

"The last chapter. Well the 10th one."

"When is Petey giving birth?"

"Next chapter."

"What?!?!?!"

Wade began to panic and-

"STOP WRITING EVERYTHING I DO!!!"

"It's my job bubba..."

"Don't pull the bubba card on me..."

"Just did bubba..."

"Well... how many kids...?"

"One."

"Okay. How many from me and Peter?"

"One"

"Aww... I wanted little Spideypool children running around for hours."

"Well. Those who stuck till the end. I'll have you know, someone's OC is getting picked for the first child!"
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  1021 words