Forcing my eyelids open, I groaned while pushing myself up into a sitting position despite all the heaviness in my head and limbs. My eyes scanned the dimmed surroundings and my attention quickly snapped towards my own self. I stared down at those deep bruises on my arms, triggering an overwhelming sense of panic within me.

When my hand curled on the part of my neck which had been brutally bitten on, I winced at the rawness of the pain which reminded me so clearly that everything that had happened was real and not a simple nightmare. All of a sudden, I felt a rush of hot, stupid tears but I didn't dare to cry.

My hands travelled down the length of my body and I realised that I wasn't wearing my clothes at all. The frantic I felt grew, my heart sped, and I quickly twisted around my waist. Other than those visible bruises, I didn't feel anything off about myself but, at the same time, I had no idea what I should be feeling.

Fear gnawed deep into me as I bunched onto the soft material of the sweater which I was clad in. I looked around the room, only to notice that the place looked all too familiar. Then, the sound of a knob turning caused me to flinch and I stared fearfully at the door that was slowly pushed ajar. Eyeballing the door, I felt a cold shiver down my spine and my back curled reflexively.

It was only when I saw Leon appearing from behind the door that my demeanour relaxed instantly. Seeing that I was awake, he hurried forward and sat on the edge of his bed. His eyes scanned me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes before he asked in a careful tone, "Rae, how are you feeling?"

His voice echoed in my ears and a complicated mix of emotions surged within me. Most of all, I felt so relieved that he was right in front of me right now. Choking on a sob, I wasn't able to finish all that was confusing me. "Was I—"

"No, God. Sweetheart, no," Leon quickly responded, his voice fell softer when he said, "It didn't happen, but that doesn't mean it wasn't scary."

An expression of pain was etched into his striking face when I met his gaze and that was when I broke into tears from all the pent-up fear that I was gripping onto since I woke up. Leon leaned forward and I crashed into his hold unhesitatingly, desperately needing to feel some comfort. Holding me close, his hand landed on the small of my back while he whispered softly to soothe my crying.

Unsure how long had passed since I tipped the bottle of overwhelming emotions within me, but weariness took over and I fell asleep in Leon's arms eventually.

-

When I woke up again, Leon had left the room and I was alone in his bedroom, on his bed.

Pulling the blankets aside and climbing off the bed, I left the bedroom and stepped out into the living area. I looked towards Leon, seeing that he was working on his model at the coffee table. The usual mess of cardboards, woodblocks and paper splayed across the entire table. I assumed that he heard me pulling on the door because he turned around and looked at me.

Leon asked, "Feeling better?"

Slightly taken aback by his question, I plastered a smile and replied, "I'll feel better soon."

"Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"I—" I tried, but recalling the incident was making me shake and I was growing weak on my limbs. Swallowing all the words back, I shook my head and said, "No, I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm always here if you need to talk," Leon mentioned before burying his face into his hands as he sighed, "God, I've never felt so afraid in my whole life."

"I'm sorry."

Leon turned sharply towards me, catching my unease immediately when he tried to explain, "No, sweetheart, whatever happened wasn't your fault."

I repeated with a weak voice, "I'm sorry."

Not comprehending me, Leon asked, "Why are you apologising?"

This was the first time in an entire month of silence that I heard so much from him. Since that incident at my apartment and the text he left me, we never talked or even tried confronting each other. Therefore, this was the first time in an entire month that we talked and were so close to one another. This apology was long overdue, but I knew there wasn't a better time than to speak all the words that I meant to say now.

With a heavy heart, I explained, "I'm sorry for all that I did back in my apartment and I'm sorry that we couldn't go back to how we used to be because of me."

None of us uttered a single word thereafter and I felt myself growing numb from the cold in my heart — I definitely took a one-way trip out of our friendship. Trying to sound as normal as I could manage, I said, "Thanks for letting me rest here, I'll just leave now."

I turned around, but before I could take a step, he called my name from behind, "Rachelle."

Facing him again, I asked, "What is it?"

Leon returned with a question, "Why do you always do this nowadays?"

Not understanding, I frowned, "This?"

"Exactly, this," Leon pointed out and I could hear a pinch of pain in the way he spoke. "You had been reminding me that you're leaving."

"I'm just leaving your house, Leo," I mentioned, exhaling out a small laugh. "We'll definitely see each other again."

"You know exactly what I meant, sweetheart," Leon vexed. "I'm losing you, and I know it."

"You won't lose me," I mumbled.

"Rae, I was surprised," Leon said, his voice dropped low. "I didn't mean to act the way I did. I—"

"I know," I interjected, feeling frantic. "I know, Leon. You don't have to say anything more than what you already did. I really shouldn't have done that, knowing that you already have a girlfriend. I was being rash—"

"Wait, Rachelle, wait," Leon cut me immediately. "What are you saying?"

Guilt, remorse and everything else was occupying my mind as I blurted, "Please just forget about everything that happened between us. Can I leave now?"

"Absolutely not." The words sounded curt and ahead of me, Leon had already pushed himself to stand and was striding fast towards me. My mind's first instinct was to run but my body refused to move. When he was just an inch before me, he stared down and asked again, "What are you saying?"

I stuttered, "I-I—"

"Come on, sweetheart." Leon sounded frustrated when he questioned, "What made you think that way?"

"You've got to be kidding me," I frowned, feeling a sudden temper. Glaring at him, I wasn't sure why he would go to this length to keep it from me when we used to share everything with each other. Even if I had feelings for him, I would wholeheartedly wish him happiness.

"You're the one that's got to be kidding me," Leon fumed, taking a step closer to me and hauling me up in his hold.

"Wait a minute—" I panicked, instinctively folding my arms over his shoulders to steady myself. His arms circled around my waist and he walked towards the couch, bringing me with him. When he tried to pry my arms off him, I hugged onto him tighter and cried out of the frantic I felt, "I'm sorry, please don't be mad. I'm really sorry—"

"Rachelle," Leon sighed, calling my name tenderly while patting on my back. "I'm not going to do anything, just sit on the couch and listen to me."

I slowly released my grip on him and fell back onto the couch behind me. Leon settled down in front of me, saying, "I'm not in a relationship and therefore, I don't have a girlfriend. Do you understand?"

Even when I felt confused, I nodded. All the words that formed in my mind were stuck at my throat, refusing to let me say anything. I simply stared at Leon while my mind was boggling at everything that he spoke of.

On the other hand, Leon refused to look at me right in the eye. He raked a hand through his hair and clamped it on the back of his neck when he continued, "Now, can we talk about the kiss?"

All of a sudden, my face went red but I also noticed the flush on Leon's face. My voice was low to a near whisper when I asked, "What about it?"

"Why did you do that?"

"I—" I choked, feeling extremely lost for words. "Can you just forget about it?"

"Impossible," Leon said. "It's either you tell me the truth, or I'll tell you the truth."

"What truth?"

"I love you, Rachelle," Leon said firmly, meeting my gaze. "I hope you feel the same for me too."

My first instinct was to pinch myself hard on my back of my hand and a sudden pain jolted up my arm, causing me to wince. I exhaled, "God, it hurts."

"What are you doing to yourself?" Leon frowned, holding onto my hand as he chided, "Are you an idiot?"

"I think I really am," I mumbled at the realisation that I was definitely stupid. Never would I have expected that both of us were on the same page since day one and I was the one who kept missing all the details. I gasped, "I can't believe that I'm so dumb."

"I completely agree," Leon commented simply.

I frowned in annoyance at my childhood friend, but everything felt so real right now. Leon laughed at my reaction and I requested, "Can I hug you?"

"Of course, come here," Leon said, pushing himself to stand before pulling me into his embrace and settled us on the couch. Without complaints, Leon allowed me to cling onto him and I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to process the reality of everything. There was a short moment of silence before he mentioned, "You haven't given me an answer, Rae."

"I love you too," I murmured, my voice was low to a near whisper.

"I can't hear you," Leon teased.

I pulled myself to face him and said snappishly, "I said you're an idiot."

Leon let out a laugh, pinching on my nose when he grinned, "No, you're the silly one." 

✿

How is your ideal partner like?