On the refugee ship, Padme, Anakin, and Raina sit together, each with their small portion of food. R2-D2 gets shooed away from the counter as the three humans eat in silence, stealing occasional glances at one another.

"Must be difficult, having sworn your life to the Jedi, not being able to visit the places you like, or do the things you like," Padme remarks, delicately eating her food from the carrier box covered in cloth.

"Or be with the people that I love," Anakin adds, his gaze fixed on the senator.

Raina's heart aches at his words, and she forces herself to keep her head down, focusing on her food.

"Are you allowed to love?" Padme questions, "I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi."

"Attachment is forbidden," Anakin clarifies, "Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life. So, you might say, that we are encouraged to love."

"You've changed so much," Padme observes.

"Ah, you haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams," Anakin responds.

Raina tries to remain inconspicuous, keeping her head down and her eyes fixed on her bowl of soup. When R2-D2 approaches with a small piece of cloth, she accepts it with a smile, pretending to need it to blow her nose rather than wipe away her tears.

Once they arrive on the Senator's home planet, Anakin and Raina carry the bags as they walk with Padme up the steps of the capitol. They pass through an array of columns that frame the city beautifully until they reach the meeting chambers of the Queen and her council.

Padme advises that a civil war will be on the way if the senate creates an army, displaying her strength and knowledge. But Queen Jamilia protests, emphasizing the importance of democracy.

"In the meantime, we must consider your own safety," the Queen says, "What are your suggestions, Master Jedi?"

"Oh, Anakin and Raina aren't Jedi yet. They're still padawan learners," Padme corrects, "But I was thinking--"

" Hold on a minute," Anakin interrupts.

" Excuse me," Padme says, turning back to the queen, "I was thinking I would stay in the lake country. There are some places up there that are very isolated."

"Excuse me, I'm in charge of security here, milady," Anakin interjects, ignoring Raina beside him.

"And this is my home, I know it very well. That is why we're here," Padme insists, "I think it would be wise if you took advantage of my knowledge in this instance."

Anakin bites his tongue, realizing his mistake.

"Sorry, milady," He concedes.

After a much-needed wardrobe change, the three humans make their way to the lake country of Naboo, marveling at the gorgeous scenery around them. Raina's lips curl into the smallest of smiles as they dock off the small boat and onto the island they will call home for who knows how long. But her momentary bliss is short-lived as she notices Anakin and Padme standing side by side in the shade, exchanging stories with each other, their laughter mingling in the air.

Her smile fades instantly as she watches their lips join together in a kiss.

Of course.

She can't feign surprise. She's known of Anakin's crush for far too long. It's the perfect setting for him to make his move. The atmosphere is so romantic, everything is so beautiful, it makes perfect sense... but if only Anakin had chosen to do this for her. If only Anakin had kissed Raina instead.

If only she wasn't third-wheeling on this assignment. The whole ordeal would pass by so much more quickly, instead of agonizingly slow. Every moment seems to stretch on forever, and Anakin and Padme seem to become more insufferable by the minute. Every glance, every smile, every touch feels like a stab to Raina's heart, fueling her frustration and jealousy. Every longing gaze, every smile, every laugh, every skipped heartbeat—it all feels like a personal affront to Raina.

Even their picnic together, where Raina is physically present but mentally a thousand miles away, she can still feel Anakin. Her heart connects to his heart, her mind to his. She feels it all, whether she wants to or not. She feels every ounce of love Anakin holds for Padme, and it drives her to the brink of madness. She feels it day and night, a relentless ache in her chest.

Even now, as Raina lies in her bed chambers staring up at the ceiling, she feels them. She feels how close they are, their warmth radiating in the darkness, every breath, every heartbeat. And with each passing moment, the tension grows thicker and more suffocating.

"If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, it'll take us to a place we cannot go."

Anakin's frustration resonates through their shared bond, causing painful tears to well up in Raina's eyes—a mix of sadness and anger. She feels her heart shatter for Anakin, but she also feels her blood boil because of him. She wants to comfort him and throttle him in equal measure. She wants to love him and hate him, but she knows she can't have both.

Her heart is torn between loving him and hating him. She loves him for the feelings he stirs within her, but she hates him for the pain he causes.

But as the mansion falls silent and sleep claims the household, Raina's heart lurches in her chest. She gasps, drenched in sweat, and without a second thought, she bolts out of bed and down the hall to Anakin's room, where he startles awake the moment she enters.

"Nightmare?" Raina asks softly.

Anakin nods, his expression troubled.

"It's my mother," He sighs, "It's always my mother."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She offers.

"No... not tonight," He murmurs.

"Do you want to be held?"

Again, he nods.

With a sigh, Raina slips into bed beside Anakin, who shifts onto his side. She nestles close, wrapping her arms around him, her fingers gently trailing over his padawan braid as he listens to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, hoping it will soothe him back to sleep.

It's a simple, intimate gesture born out of necessity, but one that has become a comforting ritual. Raina is usually more than willing to hold him, but tonight feels different. She's locked in a battle with her emotions, torn between her desires and her reality, her mind racing as the man she loves sleeps soundly beside her.

✦
✦
✦
✦
✦
✦
✦
✦
✦
✦

[ pain 🥹]