(Edit in the sidebar! Warning: This is a long ass chapter!!!)

(WattPad tried to rate this chapter as R, hence the " * " so yeah.)

(BIRTHDAY UPDATEEEEEE!!!!! HAPPY AUGUST 3rd MY CHILDREN!!!!!! I'M OFFICIALLY 19... I feel olddddddd. omg.)

Harry’s POV:

Red. All I could f.ucking see was red. I’d known that there was something going on but never had I thought that it could be this. I’d trusted him. Hell. I’d trusted her. Look at where that got me?

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I struggled to suck in a single, steadying breath. The room was literally tinted in a scarlet haze and I needed to calm down before I hit something. F.ucking hell, I wanted to hit something... someone... Adrien. We were supposed to be mates. I wanted to bash the bastard’s face in. His smirk before he walked out, God, it was like... like he’d gotten away with mass murder!

My fingers twitched at my sides as the overwhelming urge to wrap them around his skinny neck and squeeze until his head was no longer attached to his body filled my entire mind. Christ, I was going to kill him.

No matter how hard I f.ucking tried I couldn’t get the image of them out of my mind. He had touched her. He’d kissed her. The worst part was she’d let him. I’d been standing there long enough to see her respond to him. To see her kiss him back and pull him closer. To see her hold onto him like he was the only thing keeping her together.

Christ. I was going to be sick.

What the actual f.uck just happened?

“Harry,” My eyes snapped open at the small whimper in the otherwise silent flat. The only other noises were the furious hammering of my heart and the wheezing gasps of air I was struggling to suck into my lungs.

Cassie. My Cassie. My sweet, broken, innocent, adorable Cassie. He’d kissed her and she’d kissed him back. She’d sworn to me that nothing was going on between them, that nothing had happened. What a f.ucking load of bullshit.

He’d been right. Louis had been right. I never should have gotten into this. He’d said that she was trouble, that she’d ruin me. I should have listened to him. I should have gotten out while I’d had the chance. But no. No, I decided that “I could handle it”, that “we would make it through everything together”. My life had turned into f.ucking latin soap opera and not the good kind with half naked women running around with their boobs pushed up to their ears. No, this was one of the twisted, sappy ones with a rubbish love story featuring home-wrecking best mates and a pathetic twat of a protagonist who just stands there like a f.ucking vegetable while his world falls to shit.

“Please, Harry.” Her voice was a bit louder this time, the tone more demanding. D*mn, she was getting balsy. The girl I’d met three months ago had practically run away screaming when I’d tried to stick my hand up her skirt, now she was trying to confront me while I was dealing with more violent urges than Jason Voorhees.

I jerked away the second her fingertips touched my upper arm. I swore every time we touched it was like someone was branding my skin with a white hot iron. She’d left so many invisible scars all along my body that I knew her hands were tattooed permanently on my skin.

I could feel her eyes on me but I couldn’t bear to return her gaze. I knew that the second, I did my heart would shatter. Right now, I was barely containing the rabidity raging throughout my body. Anything further would kill me and I wasn’t ready to die yet. If I was going to die, then dear old Adrien was going down with me.

She took another step towards me and it took everything in me to keep from pushing her away. Instead, I turned away from her, pacing back and forth while I struggled to move past the murderous imaginings that were becoming more and more appealing by the second.

My hands wrapped around his neck. Pinning him against a wall while all the life drained out of his lifeless body. Bashing his skull in. Mowing him over with my Range Rover in the car park. Throwing him off of the top of the f.ucking Shard. Taking his sorry ass out into the middle of the ocean and feeding him to a great white. Dropping him inside of a volcano.

I grinned slightly at the last one, now that would be entertaining... Illogical and hard to actually contrive but entertaining none the less.

The volcanos in Hawaii hadn’t been dormant for that long had they? That would be nice. Throw his ass in a trunk, fly out to the tropics, toss him in a volcano and then sit on the beach drinking Mai Tai’s for the rest of my life... I wonder how long it is till the next flight out? I’d have to check...

I spun on my heel, already digging in my pocket for my mobile. I was too consumed by the glorious image in my head to see the girl standing directly in front of me until I’d almost mowed her over.

I narrowed my eyes at the clearly distraught but determined shell of a girl. Her green eyes were brimming with unshed tears and yet they seemed to be made of reinforced steel.

“Move,” I ground out. My jaw was locked so tightly together I was surprised my teeth hadn’t shattered by now.

“No. You’re staying and we are talking.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Christ, you’re impossible! You say that you want me to tell you everything but when I try to explain you can’t even be bothered!”

“Are you seriously trying to pin this on me?” I yelled, my eyes flashing, trying to warn her away from the ledge that she was dangerously close to pushing me off of. She’d ripped down the bright yellow caution tape away from it the second I’d laid eyes on her and now there was practically a “welcome, feel free to plummet to your death” mat below my feet. She’d put up barricades and walled off entire sections of her consciousness that I’d never even been allowed to see and yet she’d completely demolished every defence I had left.

“Just let me explain!” She cried, her hands immediately flying to her hair and I swore she was going to rip it all right out of her skull. I had the nagging urge to go and lock her hands down against her sides before he hurt herself. Right as I lifted my hand to do just that, I dropped it. No. Not this time. I wasn’t going to be the first to break.

“What is there to explain? I asked you if there was anything going on and you lied to me! You gave me this holier-than-thou speech about trust and then you go and shit all over it!”

“Harry, no I-.”

I cut her off, “No. You kissed him. You f.ucking kissed him!” I was losing it. The red tint intensified and the world was becoming opaque.

“I didn’t mean to!” She sobbed, her chest heaving, her knuckles whitening as I was sure she was digging her nails into her skull. I’d seen her do that same thing before. She’d pressed so hard once she’d drawn blood.

Christ, I couldn’t watch this.

I was literally fighting against every enraged fibre in my being to keep from crushing her as I pinned her gently against the wall, keeping her hands held above her head so that she couldn’t injure herself further.

F.ucking hell.

“I thought we were past this!” I couldn’t control the maelstrom of emotions any longer. They overwhelmed me. Tears filling my eyes, each one containing all of the anger and betrayal coursing through my veins, “I thought we were past my having to play the villain! Do you have any idea how that f.ucking felt?” I raged, the image of them together playing repetitively throughout my mind, clouding my judgement.

“It’s not like I wanted it to happen!”

“You didn’t stop him! You-You kissed him back!”

“I didn’t mean to-!”

“You wanted this!”

“I didn’t! I swear! Harry, I love you-!”

“Quit lying to me, goddammit!” I roared. Before I knew it, there was a fist sized hole in the drywall just inches from the petrified girl in front of me. She cowered in silence, trapped between my body and the wall. She had pulled her bottom lip between her teeth both in an attempt to stop the desperate trembling as well as to keep from crying out. I... I knew I could never purposefully hurt her, but right now I didn’t trust myself. Everything kept blacking in and out. I hadn’t meant to lash out, and yet, here I was with my hand still thrust into the wall.

“I need to go,” I growled, yanking free, scattering cracked plaster all across the flooring. One glance at the a.bused flesh around my knuckles told me that I was going to have some explaining to do later on. I’d ripped away several layers of skin blood was beginning to drip down my hand.

“Harry,” her voice was no more than a whisper but it may as well have been coming through a £10.000 audio system as it echoed in my ears.

“Don’t.” I didn’t bother to look back, slamming the door to her flat behind me.

I needed air. No, f.uck air. I needed a drink. Several very strong drinks.

Digging my mobile out of my pocket, I dialled the number, pressing the warm glass to my ear before I could over think what I was doing.

“Where are you?” I waited, listening for an answer.

“I’ll be there in five.”

***

“Princess finally loosen your leash?” I gritted my teeth at the pompous voice, ignoring his smug grin as I threw myself into the plush, red leather booth next to him.

“Don’t start with me, Louis,” I growled, downing what was left in his drink. He cocked an eyebrow up at me but didn’t comment.

“So what is it then? Wife-y complaining that you spend too much time ‘out with the boys’? Or is she on the rag?” I glared at him, I’d have thought that growing up surrounded by sisters that he’d have a bit more tact. I waved over the first waitress that I saw.

“Three shots of Jäger.” Once again Louis’s brow furrowed and I knew he was trying to put the minuscule pieces I’d given him together himself. He’d been surprised when I’d called him in the first place; I could hear it in his voice. I knew that right now his head was spinning as he struggled to figure out why I’d even wanted to meet. He and I had been on the outs ever since the interview. We’d both been ripped into by management and they’d told us to lie low for a while, while they worked on smoothing everything over with the broadcasting company and P.R.

I didn’t say a word, glaring at the pulsing club until the waitress returned with my drinks. I took a deep breath, downing them all, refusing to breathe again until the last of the vicious, lighter fluid was gone. My throat was on fire but I ignored it, gritting my teeth, willing away the bitter after taste.

“Binge drinking it is, then,” Louis grumbled, ordering us both a second round. Ten minutes and six shots later the room was blurring but the steady ache in my chest had refused to dull.

“Someone late with a payment?” Louis chuckled.

“What?” He gestured at my hand and I looked down. I couldn’t feel any of the pain that my body told me there would be; my only indication to my busted knuckles was the dried blood smeared along my jeans and the back of my hand.

“I don’t deal,” I growled, spinning spinning one of the empty glasses on its side before Louis snatched it up and added it to the growing pile. He’d refused to let them clear away the glassware, insisting on creating a pyramid with the empties.

What a f.ucking child.

“Chill out, it was a joke,” he huffed, rubbing the heels of his palms across his eyes. I ignored him, rolling my own, “But really, what happened? Princess refuse to give it up? I am all for the ‘hard to get’ bit but there’s a difference between a bit of foreplay and just being a godd*mn prude.”

Okay, there was no way I was drunk enough for this shit.

“Hey Lou, ever thought of, I don’t know, shutting the f.uck up? I’d be more than happy to bust my hand up further if it meant I could keep my sanity.”

“Oh, Haz, I thought you’d have learned by now, nobody puts Baby in a corner,” He grinned, smacking me on the cheek a bit harder than necessary. He was always a dîck when he was drunk; a condescending dîck at that. That comment didn’t even warrant a response.

“Okay, next round,” He said, waving over the scantily clad help. She grinned at the both of us and I snorted when Louis’s eyes remained on her chest the entire time he ordered. If she noticed she didn’t seem to care.

“So where’s El tonight?” I sneered, not even bothering to wait until the half naked waitress was out of earshot.

“Exams this week, she couldn’t be bothered to come out for a drink.”

“Wow, you’re such a great boyfriend, it’s no wonder she loves you!” I cheered, the large amount of alcohol I’d consumed already beginning to impair my better judgement.

“Easy on the judgement, you twat. I don’t see the princess sitting here with you.” I clenched my jaw at his statement, glaring out onto the smoke filled dance floor.

“That wasn’t the point.”

He ignored me, “So where is darling Cassandra tonight anyway?” he cooed, lacing his fingers together, propping his chin up.

“Not all relationships require a tracking device implanted in their skull,” I muttered, grimacing as the girl returned with our new round of drinks. The bar had apparently become irritated with our holding their collection of shot glasses captive and had combined the round into two large tumblers. Louis shot her a wink as she leaned ridiculously low in order to reach across the table and place our drinks in front of us. If her bra was having issues containing her before, now it had just plain given up.

“I never actually went through with it!” He cried out, faux rage colouring his voice.

“The fact that you even considered it is repulsive.”

“I’ve been called worse,” he shrugged, downing half of his drink, “But really, all of this give and take shit is pissing me off. Quit talking in circles and give me some godd*mn answers.”

Again, I didn’t reply.

“What did she do this time? Catch you with her teeth? Refuse to give you the key to her chastity belt? I bet it was the belt bit. The girl might as well be a godd*mn nun.”

I clenched my hand tighter around the thick glass of the tumbler, “You’re a dîck you know that?”

“Well it is my most defining characteristic,” he laughed, grinning wildly in my general direction. Clearly, the alcohol was getting to him too. Refusing to over think my decision, I downed my entire glass, choking when I forgot to exhale immediately after.

Don’t be a twat.

“I walked in on her while she and Adrien were practically raping each other’s mouths,” I ground out, immediately wishing I’d just had them bring the bottle over. The pain in my chest had reignited and it was hard to breathe around ever expanding void there.

Louis didn’t even look phased.

“You knew,” I hissed, clenching my fists at my sides as earlier’s anger and betrayal surged up inside of me.

“What? No! F.uck, why would I know that?” He laughed, clearly oblivious to how close I was to swinging a nice right hook to his picture perfect face. Management would flip because we had some sort of interview or photo shoot thing scheduled for tomorrow- I honestly couldn’t give a flying f.uck about it- but that’s what photoshop was for right?

“The guy just seemed... I don’t know... like a total prick. None of the other lads liked him but had your head shoved so far up his arse to notice.”

“I’m going to kill him,” I growled, raking my hands through my hair. I’d taken Adrien out as a “thank you for saving my girlfriend’s life” present a few days after the incident in the cafe. Cassie and I weren’t exactly talking and I’d needed a distraction. I’d gotten completely trashed that night and my memories were spotty. It was hard to remember exactly how the other lads reacted to him when they’d met so it was impossible for me to tell if Louis was in fact telling the truth.

“Wait. You said ‘they were raping’... so Cassie kissed him back?” Out of the corner of my eye I saw the edges of his mouth twitch and I knew he was struggling to hold back his priggish grin. Bastard.

I couldn’t be bothered to respond, choosing to nod sharply once instead.

“Well,” he hummed. I could tell that he was searching for something that wouldn’t send me hurtling across the booth to wrap my hands around his neck, “I can’t exactly say I’m surprised.”

Don’t kill him. Don’t kill him. Don’t kill him.

“I really don’t f.ucking need this shit right now. I came out because I thought that maybe, just f.ucking maybe you had enough decency in you to not be a complete prick for one godd*mn night.” I slammed three £20 notes down on the table. Blondie could keep the change. I lurched up from the booth, thrusting my arms through the sleeves of my leather jacket.

“Christ. Quit being so over-dramatic and sit your drunk arse down,” Louis commanded, rolling his eyes. I shot him one last glare before turning to leave.

“Look, Harry, I’m sorry,” He sighed, making me pause, “I know that I’ve been a rubbish best mate lately... and I’m sorry. I’ve just never seen you so wrapped up in one girl before and it scared the living shit out of me. I mean we had a f.ucking system! We took care of each other and helped clean up the messes. But this... this girl she f.ucked with everything! I guess... I guess I just didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

Okay, now I knew for a fact that he was trashed. He was being almost sympathetic.

“God. What is she doing to me,” I groaned, slumping back down into the booth, pulling uselessly on my already mussed curls.

“You’re f.ucking pussy whipped,” Louis snorted, downing the fresh round of shots Blondie delivered.

“We didn’t order these,” I grumbled before she could turn to walk away.

“Well someone must have,” she sniffed before leaving.

“Never bitch about free alcohol,” Louis scolded, sliding one of the glasses towards me, “Bottoms up, Curly.”

“F.uck it.” My head was already swimming, tilting and curving. I felt like I was a going a bit more topsy turvy than the Mad Hatter in f.ucking Alice in Wonderland.

“So what did you do?”

“Hmmm?” I was having issues concentrating. I swore I saw a very familiar head of raven hair out on the dance floor, practically glued to a random over-muscled guy.

No... she wouldn’t... would she?

“What did you do to the sorry bastard?”

“Nothing,” I growled. Honestly, Hawaii was sounding more and more appealing with every shot.

“D*mn, that’s disappointing. And dear Cassandra?”

“I left her and came here.”

“Interesting.” Louis passed me yet another shot.

Well, might as well add liver failure to the list... right below ‘broken heart’.

“You know what. This could be a blessing, my friend. Think about it. How many cold showers have you taken this... this month?”

“Fifteen... and counting,” I mumbled the last bit into the glass before shooting it back.

“F.uck. That shit should be illegal. It’s a godd*mn crime,” Louis was quiet for a moment. I lost track of how long, my eyes still tracking the ravel haired girl swathed in the writing mass of sweat and sex, “You know what. F.uck Cassandra. F.uck being the pussy whipped hopeless romantic. Drink this and then go out there and take care of your friend there. He’s been deprived long enough.” Despite the steady ache in my heart, I found myself nodding, muting what little was left of my voice reason.

“This is such a shit plan,” I downed the drink, stumbling out of the VIP area and onto the dance floor.

Shit. It’d been so easier to see her from the upper levels. The gyrating mass pressed in around me, swallowing me into the depths as I fought to make it to the last place I’d thought I’d spotted her. The intoxicating scent of sex and booze surrounded me and I felt myself falling farther and farther down the rabbit hole.

A slow, lazy grin curved my lips when I looked up and spotted her no more than three feet away. Her hips moved in a confident motion and I knew that her partner was definitely struggled. I could sympathise, just watching her caused an unbearable pressure to build below my hips.

“Enough,” I growled, yanking her away from the man and plastering her to my chest. Through the alcohol impaired lens, I watched her purse her lips, scanning me up and down before giving me a shrug as if to say “you’ll do”. An guttural sound echoed from the back of my throat as she rolled her hips against mine, dragging her nails across my scalp and pulling on the bottoms of my curls. Louis was right. It had been ages since I’d had a good f.uck. This girl could fix that, all I had to do was let her.

Fire coursed through me as her lips suddenly latched onto my neck, dragging down until her teeth scraped my exposed collarbone. I allowed my hands to travel down, performing the same actions they had for years now. My body went on autopilot while my mind still sat in the clouds a thousand kilometres away... actually more like three.

“Let’s get out of here,” I winced slightly at the sound of her voice. It was too high, grating. It couldn’t compare to the rich tones and light colouring of Cassie’s slight Texas accent. My skin began to crawl and I told my self to push the girl away. The light finally caught her and I saw how wrong I’d been. She was nothing like the girl that I’d fallen in love with. Her black hair was dull and overworked, her makeup too thick. I used to only target girls who dressed in mere scraps of fabric but now it repulsed me. I found myself craving Cassie’s hair that resembled a curtain of pure black silk so profoundly it made you wonder if they were one in the same. She would never dare to wear what this girl was wearing and for some reason that fact alone comforted me.

Her lips began inching closer and closer to mine and suddenly I wished that I hadn’t come out at all. Christ. This was wrong.

Cassie’s POV:

“Cassieeeeeee!” I bolted upright, the voice coming from behind my locked door was one of a dying cat, “Cassandra! Open the godd*mn door!”

“What the f.uck?” I didn’t have the patience or the energy for Gwen’s drunk antics tonight. Today had been hell enough.

The look in Harry’s eyes right before he left... Christ, those betrayal filled jade eyes were haunting my every moment. I hadn’t been able to move for what felt like hours after he’d left, curled up in a pathetic ball in my kitchen floor.

The f.ucking voice inside my head had been tormenting me. This is you’re own godd*mn fault, she said. If you’d have just told Harry about Adrien none of this shit would have happened. Harry could have protected you. You don’t deserve him.

For once, I listened to her. She was right. I’d lied to myself that I was keeping Harry safe when in reality I was magnifying the blow and it would be 100000000x worse when he actually found out.... it was worse though. Now not only had I hurt him but he believed that I was cheating on him. And I’d let him believe that.

Eventually, I’d managed to drag myself to the bathroom. My skin was raw. It didn’t matter how much I scrubbed at it, I could still feel his hands on me, his lips on mine. It was revolting. I’d let Adrien do this. I’d let him trick me into playing his sadistic little game and I’d drug Harry along for the ride.

Groaning, I heaved my exhausted body up from the sofa. Everything ached whether from self loathing or from staying in the cramped position I’d assumed as a failed attempt to help hold everything together it was impossible to tell. I knew I looked like hell but I didn’t care. I felt like hell.

“Chill the f.uck out, I’m coming,” I croaked, reaching to release the bolt and chain.

The second I pulled open the door I was greeted by the last image I’d ever expected. Harry stood slumped against the doorway, his usually sarcastic jade eyes glazed over and drooping closed. A half empty bottle of Jägermeister dangled from his long fingers and a childish pout graced his full lips.

“Angelface,” he cooed, ripping me forward and cradling me against his solid chest, “I missed you.” His voice was broken and slurred and he was wobbling just standing here.

“How much have you had to drink?” I sighed, gently prying the bottle from his clumsy hands. I was afraid that if he drank much more he’d end up with alcohol poisoning.

“I think this is bottle number....” Great, they had numbered the bottles, “... two maybe? I don’t remember. The girl with the breasts kept running back and forth and they kept bouncing up and down.... they were making me dizzy so we had her bring the bottle,” he drawled, bobbing his head up and down at the memory.

“Yeah I don’t think her anatomy is what made you dizzy.” Slowly, I ushered him into the flat and towards the kitchen. We stumbled forward most of the way, his legs could barely carry his own weight anymore and f.uck he was heavy. He didn’t protest when I lowered him into one of the hard backed dining chairs before pouring him a rather large glass of water.

“Drink.” He took the cup from me but messed around with the rim, never actually bringing it to his lips, “Do you need a straw?”

“No. All I need is you.” His words sent a pang through the void where my heart used to be. I guess that after you tear it apart so many times it’s impossible to put back together.

“Please drink the water, Harry,” I whispered, guilt keeping me from meeting his sincere gaze. After a couple minutes of having my self-loathing magnified tenfold and then thrown back in my face- drunk Harry is far more vocal about his feelings than sober Harry- I finally managed to get him to finish the glass and into the bathroom to brush his teeth. A good forty-five minutes after he showed up I had successfully navigated him into my room and tucked him into bed.

“Call me if you need anything okay,” I sighed, brushing a wayward curl off his forehead. Even that small touch felt stolen and unjust.

“No, Angel. Stay.” His green eyes were wide as saucers and I could see the hurt shining bright in their depths.

“Okay,” I knew it was selfish but I couldn’t deny him. I’d never really been able to. All he ever had to do was ask.

“There-there was a girl tonight,” he mumbled as I sank down on the bed next to him, immediately stiffening at his words. I knew that I had no right to be angry or jealous but that couldn’t stop the little green monster from rearing it’s ugly head. When I made no further move he slung a clumsy arm around my waist and pulled me up against him, my face nestled into the crook of his neck, “don’t do that.”

“Do what?” I hated the way my voice cracked. It would make him feel guilty when he had done absolutely nothing wrong.

“Shut down. Blame yourself.”

“But it’s my fault,” I whispered, burrowing deeper into his embrace. The guilt was nearly suffocating me but if I was going to die then I wanted it to be in his arms. My grave marker would read ‘Here lies Cassandra Vale, she was a selfish bitch’.

He didn’t seem to hear me.

“I-I couldn’t do it. I wanted to... but I couldn’t.”

I didn’t respond, I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Louis told me it was okay, he said that I should. I danced with her. She tried to kiss me but I-I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it... I- She-She wasn’t you. I feel wrong even thinking about someone else, Cassie. So wrong.” There was a raw edge to his voice and I knew with heart shattering certainty that he was crying. I’d never thought that I’d see him cry and the fact that I was the one that pushed him to it nearly killed me.

“How could you do it?” His voice broke and I could feel the hot tears slipping into my hair. My own flooded my eyes and I held onto him tighter, afraid that if I let go even for a second he would disappear, “It hurts, Cassie. It hurts.”

“I-I’m so sorry, Harry,” I sobbed over and over again, my tears soaking his shirt as they streamed freely down my cheeks.

Tell him, Cassie, the voice in my head insisted, Tell him you selfish bitch.

“Harry,” I whispered, praying to god for my own narcissistic needs that he was too drunk to remember this in the morning, “I-I need to tell you something.”

A/N: This chapter literally broke my heart. This was a long ass chapter so yeah... it make take me a bit to write the next one. This entire thing took three days to write and I am f.ucking exhausted. I love you all and please don't hate Cassie too much!

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