Dean

            The next morning at work, I was feeling particularly bright. The girls had been happier that day, and Kayla had sent me some pictures. We looked happy, and maybe we actually were. Last year, I'd spent more time scolding Greta for trying to hit on a twenty year old student teacher than I did with the girls. This year I focused on the girls. And what a relief it was to just be a dad to my children and not my wife. Soon to be ex-wife. Dom was right; we were better off without the witch. I was smiling when Jason, our human resources head, knocked on my door. I looked up at him with a smile.

"Hey, Jason," I said. "Come on in."

"You seem happy," Jason said. "Did your wife come back?"

"Nope," I said. "But I'm adjusting."

"Ah, well, that is good," Jason said. "Hey, you know how Jessica is out for maternity leave..."

               "Oh yeah," I said. Jessica had worked for my office directly, most of the time. She was very helpful and energetic. I had to work a lot harder since she left.

"We just hired her temporary replacement," Jason said. "She's in the conference room if you want to come meet her."

"Sure thing," I said, standing up.

We walked down to the conference room, making small talk and discussing the latest Seahawks blunder. We walked in and there was a line of people there to meet the new hire. We were pretty close as a staff, trying to promote our business as personal. Banks didn't have to be heartless. I glanced across the room to see a face I had long forgotten. She had the same dark brown eyes and hazelnut colored hair, though it was a bit shorter than it used to be. Her curves had filled out a bit, or perhaps I just noticed them more since she wore a professional dress rather than a basketball jersey. God, she had aged well. I had probably been about twenty years since we'd spoken, but I recognized her, along with the twisted feeling I immediately got in my gut.

              "Dean," Jason said, ushering me towards her. "This is Anita Rodriquez."

"Same last name," I said aloud. "Good to see you again. Do you remember me?"

"Dean Mckay," she grinned. "Like I could ever forget."

"You two know each other?" Jason asked.

"We were high school sweethearts," Anita said. "It was decades ago."

"But she looks just like she's sixteen," I said.

God, was I flirting? I was bad at it.

"Well, it's good to see old friends," she said.

"Yeah," Dean said. "Let me take you to lunch, welcome you to the company."

                  "Oh sure," Anita said. "As long as your wife wouldn't mind."

"Oh, his wife left him," Jason blurted. "Sorry, god. I just put my foot in my mouth."

"Don't even worry about it Jason," I laughed. "I'll swing by at noon, ok?"

Anita just nodded and I smirked. Had I just hit on her? No, it was a friendly lunch between old friends. It was no big deal. I had asked her as a friendly coworker, not as an ex-boyfriend who spent ten minutes memorizing the shape of her body in that dress she had on.

It was innocent. Perfectly innocent, and I had nothing to explain. Then I paused and realized no one was going to ask me to explain. I had no wife who cared about what I did, no obligations to be faithful to any woman. I was a free man, and fate had just brought my first love back into my life. Perhaps it was time to keep an open mind. What was the worst thing that could happen?

*

*

*

                Noon came around too quickly as I typed away and looked up specific accounts. Anita knocked at my door and smiled.

"Hey, Mr. Big shot," she said. "You busy."

"Yes," I said. "But I am ready to go to lunch. Does Italian sound good?"

"Of course," she said. "You're buying, right?"

Her tone was jovial, but I somehow took it more seriously.

"Of course," I said. "What kind of vice president makes his employees pay for themselves on their first day?"

"Oh so this is just a work lunch," she said, her eyebrows raised. "Here I thought I was a special."

Clearly, she was flirting with me now. And I definitely didn't hate it. I just grinned and shook my head, trying not to react.

                        "Of course you're special," I said. "I'm just trying not to accidentally sexually harass you. Somehow, you look better than you did in high school."

"Same to you, McKay," she said. "Shall we go?"

"Of course," I said. She wrapped her arms around mine and we walked out, making small talk. All the while all I could think was how good she smelled, just like gods damn roses. How did women do that? She had a hint of a scent but it wasn't overwhelming. Greta always smelled like she swallowed a perfume store. She was continuing on about living in Chicago on the way to the restaurant and I listened. We got seated and I continued to make small talk. When we finally got our drinks, I stopped being blunt altogether.

"So," I said. "I have to ask, because I am curious. Ever been married?"

"Nope," she said.

"How is that possible?" I asked.

                          "In my twenties, I was sick," she shrugged. "Then when it got better, marriage wasn't a priority."

"What do you mean, you got sick?" I asked.

"I had ovarian cancer," she said. "I went through a lot of treatments and eventually, I got through it. I am infertile now, but I am alive. Since I don't have a biological clock, I guess marriage has never seemed pressing. Most men bolt when they find out I can't have kids, even the single dads. They all want younger second wives with hot bodies and a thirst for babies. I gave up dating last year. I still go out, but I just don't expect much."

"That's insane," I said. "Any guy would be lucky just to be with you."

"Uh huh," she said. "So, now we're trading sob stories. What's your deal?"

"I was married," I said. "I do have kids, three daughters. Their names are Candice, Marisa, and Kari."

I handed her my phone with a picture of the four of us smiling.

                     "Beautiful girls," she said. "The older one looks just like you."

"Yeah, I love them." I said. "But my ex-wife, well, she didn't. Greta felt trapped. She ditched me after not really being there for years. Last I heard, she is with some French guy pretending to be twenty-five. She and I haven't been sleeping in the same bed for years. Last month, she ditched out for good."

"I'm so sorry," Anita said. "That is so...recent. I think I misread what you wanted here."

"How so?" I asked.

"This isn't a date," she frowned.

"Well, no," I said. "I'm not really in a dating place. But what can I say, I wanted to catch up. And the fact that you show up when she leaves..."

"Oh god," she giggled. "If you say it feels like fate, I will slap you."

"It does kind of feel like fate!"

"Remember when it started raining on the way back from prom, and your car got stuck outside of a motel room. It's fate, you said. We should be together, Nita. I need you."

"Your impression of me as a horny teenager is spot on," I laughed.

"Well, not much has changed," she said.

                    "If I remember correctly, that night was magic," I said. "Our first time, for both of us. I told you I loved you, and we didn't sleep hardly at all. I distinctly remember you that night, and some of your best moments."

"Yeah, we never had any problems with sexual chemistry," she said.

"Nope," I replied.

"But Dean, I am not really a rebound kind of girl. Especially not with you. It's too close to home. If we started dating again, I'd probably fall right back in love with you."

"And that is bad..."

"If your wife comes back and you chose her, it would be bad." She said. "Sorry to be cynical. But I am a woman in my thirties, and I am single. I know what it means to be burned."

"So that's it," I said. "Our little renaissance is over before it begins?"

                                     "Get the divorce papers finalized, the ink all dried and official," she said. "Then come and talk to me."

"Maybe I will," I said.

"I hope so," she replied.

I just shook my head. How was it that twenty years later, Anita still made me feel out of control? I didn't know, but I intended to explore it a bit more. Maybe.

*

*

*

                  Dom came over for dinner that night, which Kayla made. So I walked into a house that smelled like lasagna and was filled with women giggling.

"Hey princess," I said to Candice. She was busy coloring in the living room "How's my girl feeling today?"

"Great," she said. "I didn't puke once. I have to go back to school tomorrow."

"That's good," I said. "Where are your sisters?"

"Upstairs," Candice said. "Kayla is making them spend a half an hour studying for each class, even if they don't have homework."

"Great," I said. "Are Auntie Dom and Kayla in the kitchen?"

"Yep. They're looking at Facebook."

"Oh, ok," I said. "I'm going to go say hello."

"Ok daddy."

                 I walked in and saw Dom and Kayla laughing as they looked at a lab top. Kayla was wearing her hair down in curls and I smiled. God, she was pretty. Not that I had any business noticing, since she was my much younger nanny.

"What are you ladies up to?"

"Looking at the Facebook page for our graduating class from college," Dom said. "A lot of people have gained weight."

"Or become republicans," I said.

"Or gotten divorced," Dom said. "Oh, sorry Kayla."

"It's true," Kayla said. "I'm a divorced substitute teacher. But I also am a lottery winner, so there's that."

"Oh, when does that get announced?"

             "Tomorrow," Kayla said. "So it's all very real. Hopefully Darius will show up tomorrow morning. There's a divorce hearing with Lowell."

"And how's your divorce, big brother," Dom asked.

"Fine," I replied. "Greta has signed all the preliminary documents. I'm paying for her lawyer, a man who she is probably sleeping with by now."

"So good then," Dom asked.

"You'll never guess who just got hired to work underneath me."

"Who?"

                     "Anita Rodriquez," I said, almost singing the name. "She's still single, you know. It's insane. She looks good too."

"Oh shit," Dom said. "Big brother, you just lost a viper. Don't let another one get her teeth into you."

"Who is Anita?" Kayla asked, a bit too calmly.

"She was my first girlfriend," I said. "First love, first...everything. We broke up in high school."

"She dumped you for an asshole who drove a pickup truck and was completely illiterate," Dom said. "And then she cheated on her new boyfriend with Dean. It was such a mess."

"Well, that was when we were teenagers," Dean said. "We'd be better now."

"So you're going to ask her out?" Kayla asked. Again, her voice was so steady it was unsettling.

"I don't know," I said. "She is my coworker and it's not the right time. It just seems like fate, you know."

                 "Fate is bullshit," Dom said. "That woman burned you Dean. Don't be fooled twice."

"Well, maybe you're right," I said.

"I think what Dom means is that when and if you decide to date," Kayla said. "We'll all support whatever choice you make. We're here for you."

"Whatever," Dom said. "I think you should go for a nice girl instead of someone with huge tits."

"Well," I chuckled. "Maybe I could have both."

Dom rolled her eyes and Kayla just looked down at her hands quietly. Had I said something wrong? Sure, I'd had this sort of crush on my nanny. But I was older than her and not nearly in her league. Surely, she didn't feel jealousy towards me. No, that wasn't it. It couldn't be. I was just flattering myself at best. She probably could care less.