The Killing Moon // Echo and the Bunnymen

3 years ago

Kyra

How am I reliving the same nightmare from last year all over again?

Trapped in a cabin with Pete for the week.

I was stupidly excited when Jeff planned this trip for all of us. He wanted to come up with his girlfriend for a one year redux of the night they met at the Moonlight music festival.

I was down, especially when it was obvious that Jeff had guilted Pete into coming up, too. I thought the situation would be the perfect set up for my own little redux. A second chance at that epic kiss I've been dreaming about for twelve long months.

But once we got here, and Pete pretended like I wasn't along for the ride, or up on the mountain, or in the same damn room, I finally realized what a fool I had been.

Even with a house full of people he pretends I'm not here, ignoring me with every part of his body. His dark eyes won't glance my way. He keeps himself as distant as possible, going as far as getting up from his spot at the table to sit on the opposite end as me if I dare to sit too close.

I've put that one to the test at every meal. And every time, like clockwork, he moves his spot.

Tell me you hate me without telling me you hate me.

Jeff hasn't noticed. But Jeff doesn't notice much other than his girlfriend, Alison, these days. In fact, there are so many couples on this trip it's no wonder no one's picked up on the tension at the table, yet.

Tonight is the next to last night which means bigger names taking the festival stage to perform. It's been a lazy afternoon of resting after hitting the festival hard the last few days. Citizen One is closing tonight's show and no one wants to pass out and miss it.

While I sit on a barstool at the kitchen island scrolling on my phone–or faking like I'm scrolling because what I'm actually doing is watching Pete from the corner of my eye–he sits at the kitchen table mirroring my position. Fake scrolling his phone while trying not to acknowledge my presence. He can't possibly be blind to the tension between us. But he might think ignoring it long enough will make it disappear.

He's in for a huge disappointment because I ain't going anywhere. Not until he and I have a conversation that's a year overdue.

One year ago Pete kissed me. That kiss took what had been a naive, school-girl crush and blew it up into a full on obsession. If Jeff knew how often I have dirty daydreams about one of his best friends, he'd kill us both. It's all Pete's fault, and I say that with zero irony.

There are two Kyras now. The Kyra before Pete kissed her, and the husk of a woman left after he kissed her and walked away without looking back.

Ruined is no exaggeration.

I just graduated from high school. I spent my senior year heartsick over a kiss and the boy who gave it to me. The boy, no, the man who took the kiss of my childhood fantasies and twisted it into something ugly.

Didn't he feel what I felt?

How could he just walk away?

If he felt anything close to what I did, there'd be no walking away. He would have crossed the biggest desert, climbed the tallest mountain to have me.

Which means I'm alone in this made up relationship of my dreams.

It's as if he dumped me without ever saying a word, without ever even dating me. But what else do you call what he did after claiming me with his lips?

Let down isn't a strong enough phrase. Devastated works, however.

As I'm drowning in my self-pity, surrounded by my lethargic friends, Charlie bursts through the door hand in hand with Micah, drawing everyone's eyes their way. She and Micah have been dancing around each other all week, their own little tango of tension we all figured to mean they had the hots for each other. Micah groans quietly, the kind of groan that speaks volumes. One look at him and no one has any doubt what that groan meant. They were hoping for an empty cabin so they could get busy.

"Let's take a walk," Alison says, grabbing Jeff by the hand and pulling him off the couch. She shoots a look to the rest of us. "Come on. We need some fresh air."

"And they need some nookie." Misty calls out as she and Frank follow the other two out the door. "'Bout time, tiger." She punches Micah in the arm. "Be safe!"

Pete and I don't move. I wait for him to decide which way he's going so I can follow him. Micah just gave me the perfect opportunity to force Pete into a conversation. But I have a feeling Pete's waiting for me to choose so he can go the other direction.

Too bad for him I'm tenacious.

Micah clears his throat. "Ahem, Pete?"

Pete rolls his eyes.

"Whatever. Go do your worst. I'll throw on some headphones to drown out the moans," he says before looking back down at his phone.

"Seriously?" I hop to my feet. He'd seriously cock block a friend just to avoid me? "What kind of friend are you?"

"The kind who hates the outdoors. My blood is like crack for mosquitos." He holds out his arm to prove it. A red welt the width of a grapefruit takes up most of his forearm.

Strangely, I have an intense urge to get an ice pack and make it all better rather than revel in his discomfort. Well deserved discomfort on the tail end of my year of pain. Instead I shake off my crush-induced stupor and give him some sass.

"I'll grab the bug spray. Or you can go sit in the lodge and swipe right on that sex app if you want."

He scrunches up his face. "What sex app?" He holds up his phone. "It's ESPN. I don't need an app for sex."

My turn to roll my eyes. "Whatever." That's the only comeback I can muster before I stomp out to the back deck.

Why is he so stubborn? Why can't I get under his skin? Why can't I get under him? Apparently he can get anyone he wants under him, since he doesn't need an app.

I'm sick to my stomach at the thought.

"Hey, wait a minute!" I hear shouted behind me before the back sliding door squeaks shut.

But I don't stop. I stomp down the steps and off the deck onto a trail that leads from the cabin to the creek. I love this creek, these mountains. My family has been coming up here since I was an infant. It's always been my peace, my serenity.

I kissed Pete here, in my sacred mountains, because I felt the tension. I felt the draw and the need sparking between us. I thought kissing him here would be fate. It would cement the fact that Salt Creek is where all of my happiest memories reside.

But now I look at this creek, these mountain peaks, and scoff. The peace and serenity is gone. Now I'm filled with regret and rejection.

"I'm still following you. Your silence won't stop me," Pete snarls at my back.

I whirl around to glare at him, catching him by surprise if the look on his face is any indication.

"Whoa," he says with hands raised. As if I'm about to attack.

I would never.

But then he smirks. He scoffs and crosses his arms.

Well, maybe I would.

In fact, I think I will.

In the most parkour move I've ever made, I take a running leap at him, wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling his head down at the same time. We end up in a pile on the ground, him on top, while I struggle to twist my body and roll him to his side.

No dice.

He's an athlete. What was I thinking?

"What are you doing?" His muffled voice sounds from between my boobs. I've still got him in a headlock, so that's something.

"You've been IG-NOR-ING ME-FOR A YEAR." I grunt each word because he's manhandled me, pinning me down in the pine needles. "Were you on the wrestling team and I never knew?"

"You've lost it. First you accuse me of being a sex addict, then you jump me in the forest."

I glare up at him, which is easier than it should be because now his face is only centimeters away. We glare silently, breathing hard after our tussle. He narrows his gaze before dropping those dark brown irises to my lips.

And the energy shifts.

I want to surge. I want to be the one to take control this time around. But I've already given enough. He's already broken my spirit, stolen the kiss of all time and written his name all over it then thrown it back in my face. I'm not giving him another inch.

I wait, but the moment ends. Pete leans back, removing his hands from mine and sits on his heels. He covers his face with his hands and mutters words that confuse the hell out of me.

"You're killing me, smalls."

"What?" I push up on my elbows.

Pete stands up, adjusts his shorts, then reaches out a hand to help me to my feet. I hesitate for a second but give in before I can think too hard on it. I want to ask about the situation in his shorts, but I'm afraid he'll blow it off as no big deal. Blood flow. A natural reaction to a female body pressed against him.

When we're once again face to face, I see the look in his eyes and fall further into confusion.

"Jeff could walk this way at any moment," he says.

"So what?" I ask, but I know the answer.

"He's my best friend. I can't do this with you."

"Can't or won't?"

"Is there a difference?"

His question makes me sad.

"Yeah. There's a big difference." It's a matter of desire. Can't means he doesn't want to anyway. Won't means he's holding himself back.

I deflate, completely twisted in knots over this guy who won't give me the time of day. I turn back to the creek, continuing my trek in a vain effort to gain peace and understanding.

"I'm transferring out of Fallbrook University," he says.

"Figures." I'm just about to start my freshman year. We'd have been on the same campus again. Guess he can't even handle that.

"It's for the best," he adds.

I look at him one last time over my shoulder. "Whatever you say, Pete. But someday, I'll be your biggest regret." He mumbles something but I don't bother trying to figure out what it is.

***

Pete

"You already are."

WHAT DID HE SAY??? I'm not sure what he meant by that (jk, I absolutely know what he meant) but I wasn't expecting him to actually SAY it. 

Next week will be a time travel of 3 years. And this is the absolute fun part, because I haven't written about anyone in this universe that far into the future, yet. I'm so excited to write about all these people after a few adventures have been had. 

The Killing Moon felt right, because this chapter takes place during Moonlight (the festival, AND the first book in this series) and Pete just massacred her soul.

https://youtu.be/LWz0JC7afNQ

As always, I am so grateful that you're here! Thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it! and here's a huge ALERT - Not Another Diva's new cover will be revealed on September 15! Follow me on social media to catch it. OR join my newsletter to see it 24 hours early :-)