apperently i have anxiety.

*slams head on desk until it makes a hole*

cause this whole month has been actual hell for me

- that whole thing the other day.. oh wait i dont thing i said anything about that

so.basically.... i think wendsday (idk it was the day after the rant) i was just insane in the morning. like idk why but the silence just made me feel unsafe

then when my headphones stopped working and i didnt hear my friends talking in school, i.felt like i was in a closed, tight room and all other voices didnt exist while i was next to my friends. even music which was supposed to be a distraction wasnt at all helping. so i left quickly

but that class i was just so uneasy, my health teacher noticed but he didnt really say much cause i didnt want to.talk about it

after that in gov i couldnt sit the fuck still. like i kept moving around and shaking greatly

then in like half a hour of lit the same thing happened but i.couldnt focus to.save my life. i actually started randomly crying

then when i went to lunch i had to escape.to the bathroom to try and not vomit while i was crying. i looked on my phone while my headphones blasted music and it said i might have anxiety and depression

so i went back to lunch when the bell rang. My health teacher pulled me over and told me to go home basically, aint goin into details

so i texted my.mom and went home early.

- me wanting to.randomly scream in the middle of nowhere

like, idk. i just get the urge in my head to scream and i feel like im gonna vomit after i do so. and like i get really close but then force myself to stop. again, looked it up and the results were anxiety

ugh....

so fucking hurraaaay i hate myself to the bone.