tainted dreams | chapter nine
___

___
this chapter is a mess, i'm so sorry that you have to read it. also, it's unedited so you may find some mistakes here and there (i also apologise for that)
___

Rosalie was in need of a serious girl talk.

Not like the ones she used to have with Mary Jane and MJ - mainly because her best friends were not there with her. Not like the ones queres the trio used to watch chick-flicks at Rosalie's solitary apartment.

No, Rosalie needed a deep talk with someone who understood the abnormal situation they were all living in. The arrival of Tony and the growing proximity between him and Steve was bothering her. 

And the right person for that was Nat.

As if hearing her thoughts, the older woman knocked on her door and entered after Rosalie responded with a timid "yes" from the inside. Both women looked worn out and tired, but their eyes shone with determination.

It was something that Rosalie admired from early days, Nat's ability to remain strong even when life threw everything negative her way.

This woman was a powerhouse, and Rosalie couldn't be more proud.

"Hey." She said as Nat took a seat by the end of her bed. "What's up?"

"How are you? You've been hiding up here for a few hours now." Nat eyed her carefully.

"I've been avoiding him as much as I can."

"Understandable."

"I'm not okay." Rosalie started after a few moments of silence. "I haven't been okay in a very long time but I think I've hit rock bottom."

Nat didn't speak. Instead, she sat next to Rosalie and held her hand, letting her speak.

"How could he leave me? How could he leave us after everything we've been through together?" Her hands tightened around Nat's. "It infuriates me, the way he waltzed back into our lives like nothing happened and made himself at home as quickly as possible... It's revolting."

"I know, cherub, I know."

"And yet, he's been living under the same roof as me and hasn't had te decency to come and speak to me. You know, not even a hello."

Shaking her head, Rosalie decided to stop talking. She knew that Nat was as affected by Tony's departure as she was, and it wasn't fair to the woman.

"Why did you come up here?" Rosalie had a feeling it wasn't just a normal visit to check up on her.

"I have something for you." Nat played with her fingers, letting Rosalie know how nervous she was. "And it's not good."

The blonde sat straight on her bed, prepared for whatever news she was about to get. Dozens of thoughts filed around her head, thoughts involving everyone she loved and how they could be in danger.

So her feeling was correct. Spot on, as usual.

"It's about your parents."

An emotional knife Rosalie hadn't realised was pointed at her heart started to slowly crave its blade inside her.

"What is it?"

"Watch for yourself."

Rosalie hadn't noticed the tablet that Nat had been holding. As the older woman held it for Rosalie to watch its contents, her heart was penetrated by the knife that had been applying pressure on it before.

It was a video, a video from three days before in downtown New York.

And it was a video of her parents, walking down the street like nothing was wrong with their lives, no worries in the horizon.

"We discovered that they've been hiding in plain sight, right under our noses." Nat noticed how Rosalie's hands shook. "It would be incredibly easy to contact them now that we knew where they're staying at. I have an address and-"

"I don't think I want to talk to them."

The blonde felt the tears streaming down her face and did nothing to wipe them away. The pain she was feeling was indescribable, her powers were moving dangerously inside of her, feeling her pain and fear, and feeding on them.

She was a ticking bomb, ready to explode at any time.

"I just want to be alone for a little while, Nat."

"Rose-"

"Please."

Nodding and leaving the younger woman in the solitude of her own thoughts, Nat closed the bedroom door behind her back as she left Rosalie's bedroom.

It was time for them to take action and bring everyone back. And her friends -and prodigy- had to be in her best physical and mental state. Which would only happen if she had some time to think for herself.

So Nat left her to her troubled mind and continued to argue with the rest of their team, trying to mend what had been broken for so long.

___

Out of nowhere, Rosalie was thrown into a room with the rest of the Avengers, wearing a hoodie and sipping on her hot coffee, Rosalie was still a mess, slowly recovering from her conversation with Nat.

Someone who was as depressed as her was Thor. The God of Thunder was also sporting a baggy hoodie but, instead of drinking coffee, he was downing beer after beer and walking through the compound.

Nat had told her all about Bruce and Rocket's trip to the newly created Asgard on Earth, where Thor had been living in. Or, as if appeared, surviving in. He was the one who had changed the most, having grown an enormous beard -and belly to match.

Rosalie didn't judge. People dealt with grief in various ways.

"How have you been?" She walked towards him and smiled softly.

Shrugging, Thor didn't move his mouth to reply. The man was changed, different. Sadder.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your brother. And your home." The blonde felt a connection to Thor, as both had lost so much during the past five years. "I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you need to talk."

For the first time since the man arrived at the compound, he managed a smile and pat Rosalie in the back affectionately.

"Thank you, small child."

"Small child?" Rosalie placed her hands on her hips, sassily moving her head. "I'm twenty-two years old."

"As I said, small child." Smirking, Thor continued to drink his cold beer and entered the infamous testing chamber where the time machine was being built.

Everyone corrected Rosalie when she called it a time machine, but Scott agreed that it should be considered as one due to his favourite movie blockbusters involving time travel.

And she didn't disagree with the name. It was cool.

Rosalie noticed Tony entering behind Thor and escaped before he could acknowledge her existence. They hadn't spoken since he arrived a couple of days before, the blonde avoiding him as much as she could. She wasn't ready for the talk they both knew was necessary.

The little side room by the chamber was filled with thinking minds. Scott, Bruce, Steve and Rhodey were all talking, Scott is in a white and red suit, similar to the Ant-Man suit.

"Is that what I think it is?" Rosalie entered with a glow on her face, excitement bubbling inside her. "Time travel suit? Not bad."

She stretched her hand to touch the suit but Bruce beat her to it and his hand flew To something red in a glass tube. Scott was quick to swerve.

"Hey, hey, hey. Easy, easy!"

"I'm being very careful." Bruce defended himself.

"No, you're being very Hulky."

"I'm being careful."

Their exchange earned smiles and hidden snickers from the rest of the team, who merely watched from the sidelines. Steve circled his arm around the girl and she appreciated the gesture. She was sure he knew what Nat had told her a few hours earlier.

Steve Rogers was a bit softie. 

"These are Pym Particles, alright?" Holding up the red glass bottle in the air, Scott spoke solemnly. "And ever since Hank Pym got snapped out of existence, this is it. This is what we have. We're not making any more."

"How many do we have left?" Rosalie asked what everyone else was wondering.

"We've got enough for one round trip each. That's it. No do-overs. Plus two test runs." He accidentally pressed a button, and the small vial flew out of its holding space, nearly hitting the ground before a cloud of black mist caught it before disaster happened.

"Nearly reduces that to one test run." Rhodey raised his eyebrows at Rosalie's impressive powers. "Nice move."

"Thanks."

___

Rosalie and Nat walked together to the testing chamber, after they all discussed who would travel through the quantum reality to test the Pym Particles.

The entire team was there, Steve, Nat, Tony, Scott, Bruce, Rhodey and Nebula standing at a control panel, presumably controlling the glass platform.

"All right. I'm not ready for this." Scott shook with excitement, while everyone else looked apprehensive.

Rosalie understood how important this was. How this experience could change the entire course of their lives, how they could save everyone they lost.

How Rosalie could save Peter, Michelle and Mary Jane. How she could hold them again, hug them and feel their warmth against her body.

She didn't notice the stray tear that escaped her eye. Quickly wiping it away, she looked Tony in the eyes and nodded.

"Let's do it."

Clint walked in wearing the suit Scott was wearing moments before, the Quantum Suit, standing alongside Rosalie in the platform.

"Clint, Rosalie, now you're gonna feel a little discombobulated from the chronoshift. Don't worry about it."

They both took opposite positions on the platform and smiled at each other encouragingly.

"Wai-Wait a second, let me ask you something." Rhodey stepped forward before Bruce could press the buttons and activate their portal. "If we can do this, you know, go back in time, why don't we just find baby Thanos, you know, and..."

The gesture he made next was very aggressive, suggesting that they strangle baby Thanos with a rope. Rosalie liked it, but the rest of the team didn't react as well as she did to the idea.

"First of all, that's horrible." Bruce sounded disgusted.

"It's Thanos." Rosalie shrugged.

"And secondly, time doesn't work that way. Changing the past doesn't change the future." He continued as if she hadn't said anything.

"Look, we go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them. Thanos doesn't have the stones. Problem solved." Scott proposed.

"Bingo." Was the weird sound that game out of Clint's mouth, earning a loud facepalm from his blonde companion.

"That's not how it works." Nebula pointed out and everyone was losing their patience.

"Can we leave this conversation for later?" Rosalie pointed at her and Clint's suits and raised her eyebrows. "We have work to do."

"Are you sure you can do this?"

The question came from none other than Tony Stark. The first words he had spoken to Rosalie since he arrived, and he was once again letting her down. She was more than capable of finishing the task at hand and she didn't need anyone doubting her.

"As sure as you were when you left."

Silence embraced everyone in an uncomfortable blanket, before Bruce turned to the two volunteers.

"Alright, guys. We're going in 3... 2... 1!"

A helmet similar to Ant-Man's but white and more visible face popped on Rosalie's head, and the pair became as tiny as an ant, entering the quantum reality. Clint flew through the quantum realm by Rosalie's side and the pair separated when two openings appeared.

Growing back to normal size, but at a different place, and seemingly, time, Rosalie groaned when a wave of nausea hit her like a truck.

But it quickly washed away when she saw where she had landed.

She was back in Queens, more specifically outside of Peter's apartment. Her eyes picked various sounds, from May's curses as she cooked, to Peter's desperate yells as he attempted to put out the little fire his aunt had created.

Running down the stairs inside the apartment complex, Rosalie used her powers to elevate herself to Peter's bedroom window. Her eyes quickly filled with tears as she entered the tiny familiar space, her heart in pain.

It all reminded her of her Peter, and everything was exactly as she remembered it: his bunk bed still had the extra blankets he used to keep for her when they decided to rest after their intensive nightly patrols; the Star Wars Lego buildings were still aligned across his wall; and his suit was resting on the back of his desk chair.

Rosalie stepper forward and grabbed the first thing she saw on top of his desk, in order to prove that was real and not a dream.

But her trip down memory lane was interrupted by a voice she knew too well and missed dearly.

"Rose, is that you?" A hand twisted the doorknob and she tensed. "Rose?"

She wasn't supposed to be seen by anyone as to not disturb the time line. Panicking, she stepped back and looked for a place to hide.

But time was not on her side. She felt the same wave of nausea biting her stomach once again and knew exactly what was about to happen.

She just wanted to see his face one last time.

Please.

"No!"

Rosalie was sucked back into the quantum realm, returning to the tiny size of an ant and moved alongside Clint to the opening leading them back to the compound.

They both rematerialised on the glass platform, breathing heavily and sitting on the platform. Rosalie had tears streaming down her face, as did Clint, both being shaken by Nat and Steve.

"Hey, hey. Look at me." Nat grabbed the blonde's face and calmly spoke to her in hopes of calming her down. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." She sniffed and showed her what she was holding tightly in her hands. "It worked. It actually worked."

The older woman held Rosalie in her arms as she wept, holding Peter's web shooter in her hands. She could still hear the sound of his voice calling out for her before she disappeared.

And that small object have her the hope she needed to stand up and keep moving to save her friends.

While she cried, Tony looked at the woman she once considered as his daughter. He noticed just how broken she was, how broken he had left her.

And guilt started to eat away inside of him.

___
my heart is breaking for my rose, i can't believe how strong she is :'(
we're reaching the dramatic part of endgame, and i'm so excited for what's to come! i just think you're not ready for the next chapters *i'll shut up now*
as always, don't forget to vote and comment to show your support! thank you soooo much for reading (: