Chapter 24

I have a day off, which is becoming a rare occurrence now, so instead of planning something out I just decided to be absolutely lazy.

I saw a video of a Pretzel making themed nails earlier this week, and I ordered everything to do it online, but since I work at Subway making food and the fact that a big part of that job is washing dishes, I know it would be useless to put too much work on nails.

Toe nails though is another story.

So, I sit in my room, put on a playlist of Nine Knots edits and get to work.

I've never actually done my nails properly, much less my toe nails. It's not that I'm anti girly things. It's really that I never had an occasion before to put any thoughts to doing something complex with my nails.

I don't even really have a reason now. I just kinda want to do something for myself.

And also, I am definitely obsessed with Nine Knots at this point. I think I can admit it to myself.

I think about the lyrics to a Killers' song It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?

How did it end up like this, indeed?

One minute you're kissing a cute dude at a basketball game and the next you're making themed toe nails for his band.

I've gone from barely knowing anything about Nine Knots to having my life basically centred around them.

Around Min Jae-sang.

This is dangerous, I know it, but in the comfort of my room, away from other people, I let my mind wander.

I let myself think what could have happened, how things could have gone differently.

If we hadn't had the kiss cam, maybe we would have spent the whole evening talking. We spoke for a couple of minutes and got along. What would have happened if we'd stayed side by side for hours, watching the game, and joking around?

In my head, I dazzle him with my brilliant personality. I don't kiss him, but I get his number, which in the grand scheme of things is a lot better.

Because if I have his phone number, there's a possibility for a future. A kiss could mean nothing. A phone number is an engagement. There's string to it. There were no strings to our kiss, as wonderful as it was.

And not that I think I'm an awful kisser, but I don't think I'm actually skilled enough to enamour a global pop star with just one kiss.

So. In my head, I get his phone number and we text each other and texting turns to calling and in this made-up scenario, I'm witty and funny and Jae-sang can't help falling head over heels for me.

But these daydreams are about what could have happened if things had gone differently.

The reality is that I didn't get his phone number. But I did kiss him.

What would happen if I saw him again? Would he remember me? I don't think that Jae-sang doesn't care enough about people to not remember the girl he kissed for a kiss cam, but it all happened so quickly, and we didn't spend that much time together. I don't think I'm ugly, but I also don't think I'm that unforgettable. He's a global superstar. I'm the girl wearing an unflattering uniform behind the counter at Subway. We're not in the same league. We're not even playing the same sport.

But if we did meet again, maybe it would be when he's back in Toronto for his next concert, and we cross path somewhere random.

I don't approach him first because I don't want to seem like a stalker or a problematic fan.

In my head, he remembers my name and he gives me one of his dimple smiles and we talk like we did at the game, like it's natural and we're the best of friends.

I really need help. I should not become delusional. It's one thing to daydream about this, but a whole other thing to actually want it. Like, really want it.

So, I stop the daydreaming and start to focus on the videos on my computer.

This kind of obsession is at least a little bit healthier.

I think about maybe writing to Tenth Knot to talk about this. But part of me doesn't want to admit the depth of my obsession to anyone. It's one thing to like a band, but it's a whole different story to spend a day just daydreaming about meeting them again.

I try to comfort myself with the fact that I'm probably not the only one doing it. I wonder if Tenth Knot does it. She must be always thinking about them.

Or maybe she doesn't have to daydream because she sees them all the time because she's something like their makeup artist or designer and she's always hanging out with them.

I wonder where you can apply for one of those jobs.

I'm at the last coat step of my little pedicure when I kind of notice from all the videos I've been watching that when any of the guys from Nine Knots does not like the answer someone gave they have the same reaction.

It's a little frowning, mixed with a little smiling, mixed with a little tilting of the head at a certain angle. It's subtle, but very specific and they all seem to do it. A couple of times I see two of them do it at the same time, the exact same way.

I don't think I've seen any compilations of this anywhere before.

I can't be the only one that noticed.

But I feel kind of giddy at the realisation, and now I want to share it with everyone.

Maybe I can do my own edits. It can't be that complicated.

Three hours later, I have the beginning of something slightly decent. I don't post it anywhere though. I think I'll need to show it to Dot first.

I grab my phone to call her at the some time I get a text. It's from Frank. I kinda don't want to look at it because I think it's work related, but then I think I shouldn't this displeased with a text from the guy I'm kind of maybe seeing, so I check the message and he's asking me if I want to hang out tomorrow.

I should ask him what hang out means. I should ask him if he has any plans. I should be suggesting plans of my own. I should be happy about this text.

But I'm just kind of...meh.

I don't want to think about what this means, about the fact that Jae-sang exists, and the scenarios in my head of meeting him again are more appealing than hanging out with Frank, a real person.

So, I text Frank back, I would love to, and try to convince myself I believe that.

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Hi my little Pretzels! <3

It's been a while! :') I'm gonna start uploading this story weekly. My plans was to do it every Wednesday, but I might change the day. With my schedule, I think Friday or Saturdays might make more sense now that I've tried it.

Anyway! Yeah! More chapters weekly for sure though. Also, I think this part of the story might have about 5 to 6 chapters left. Then we're going to start a part 2. There will be 3 parts in total that will make the full story. 

Alrighty! Got more writing to do. Thanks for being patient with me! See you all next week. <3