Cedric: My ear itches.

Harlow: Gross

Cedric: I hear this weird clicking sound too.

Harlow: Did you take a shower this morning?

Cedric: Of course I did!

Cedric: What do you think?

Cedric: That dirt makes your ears itch?

Harlow: 🙄🙄🙄

Harlow: No, I was going to say that you might have water in your ear.

Cedric: Oh...

Cedric: I didn't think about that.

Harlow: Do you feel dizzy?

Cedric: No.

Harlow: Well, that's good.

Cedric: I did almost fall earlier though...

Cedric: When I was coming back from the store.

Harlow: You almost fell, but you're not dizzy?

Cedric: Okay, maybe a little bit.

[Carlos reaches up and itches his ear.

[He hears a faint tick, tick, tick.

Cedric: I swear, I hear something in there.

Harlow: You hear something in your ear?

Cedric: Yeah, the sound is driving me nuts!

Harlow: How long has it been going on?

Cedric: I don't know, like ten, fifteen minutes?

Harlow: That's weird?

Cedric: Why?

Harlow: If you took a shower this morning, I doubt it would just suddenly start bugging you now...

Harlow: Unless you were doing some kind of gymnastics earlier?

Cedric: Gymnastics?

Harlow: Or anything that could cause the water to get deeper into your ear?

Cedric: Does rolling around in the sheets Claudia count?

Harlow: I did not need that visual!

Harlow: But, I guess that could explain your sudden ear issue.

Harlow: Do you want me to take you to the doctor?

Cedric: Nah, I'll be fine.

Cedric: I have like fifteen episodes of Vikings to catch up on.

Cedric: You could come over?

Cedric: Keep me company and make sure I don't fall off of the couch.

Harlow: What if I come over and push you off the couch?

Cedric: Picking on the sick?

Cedric: Reaaaaal classy.

Harlow: Whatever.

Harlow: I'll come over as long as you and Claudia didn't hook up on the couch.

Cedric: You're safe!

Harlow: Or the kitchen table.

Cedric: Um, maybe don't bring anything to eat that you can't consume on the couch?

Harlow: You're disgusting.

Harlow: You know that, right?

Cedric: 😉

Cedric: I'm just messing with you.

Cedric: Everywhere is safe, minus the bedroom.

Harlow: If I find another thong in between the cushions, the last thing you're going to need to worry about is a little bit of water in your ears.

Harlow: We clear?

Cedric: Crystal.

[Cedric flips the couch cushions up and snaps a quick picture.

[He sends the picture to Harlow in a text message.

Harlow: Okay, see you in five minutes.

Harlow: I'm walking over now.

[Harlow grabs a pair of boots and a thin jacket.

[A few moments later, she heads out the front door.

Cedric: Do you think I can put some kind of anti-itch cream inside my ear?

Cedric: It's getting worse.

Harlow: I don't know.

Harlow: We could call a pharmacist when I get there?

[Cedric desperately itches his ear.

[It's sensation that won't be quenched.

[As soon as he stops, it gets worse.

Cedric: This is bad...

Harlow: Does anything help?

Cedric: No.

Cedric: Nothing.

Cedric: It's like a mosquito bit me and then rubbed poison ivy inside my ear.

Harlow: Not good!

Cedric: Right?

Harlow: Maybe I should take you to the doctor?

Cedric: Yeah...

Harlow: Want to go in your car?

Cedric: Yeah.

Cedric: As long as you drive.

Harlow: I can do that.

Harlow: Just hang tight! I'll be there in like three minutes.

[Cedric shoves his finger in his ear and wiggles it back and forth.

[He hears a soft pop.

Cedric: HARLOW!

Cedric: I feel something moving in my ear!

Cedric: Please, hurry!

Cedric: I'm freaking out!

[Harlow sprints down the sidewalk.

Harlow: I'm almost there!

Cedric: OMG!

Harlow: What?

Cedric: Something just crawled out of my ear!

Harlow: WHAT?

Cedric: I'm freaking out!

Harlow: What is it?

Cedric: HOLY CRAP!

Harlow: What?

Cedric: IT'S A SPIDER!

Harlow: A spider?

Cedric: YES!

Cedric: A little red and black spider!

Cedric: OUCH!

Cedric: IT JUST BIT ME!

[Harlow runs even faster.

Harlow: Hang on!

Harlow: I can see your apartment building!

Harlow: Do you want to meet me by your car?

Harlow: Or should I come up to help you down the stairs?

[Cedric stumbles and collapses.

Cedric: My legs are numb!

Cedric: I CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS!

Harlow: I'm calling 911!

Cedric: Holy crap!

Cedric: There are more!

Harlow: Spiders?

Cedric: Hundreds of them!

Cedric: They are pouring out of my ears and biting me!

[Harlow calls 911.

[The dispatchers tell her that they are on their way.

Harlow: I'm coming up the stairs!

Harlow: Hang on, Ced!

Cedric: They are biting my face!

Cedric: I can't get them off!

Cedric: My eyes are swelling shut!

Harlow: Ced!

Harlow: Your door is locked!

Cedric: I can't move!

Cedric: I think I'm dying!

Harlow: Don't say that!

Cedric: ... (starts to type but the nothing is sent)

Harlow: Stay with me Ced!

[Harlow tries to open the door, but it won't budge.

Harlow: I can't get in!

[She tries again, but fails.

Harlow: I hear sirens!

Harlow: Just hang on!

[Harlow hears feet pounding up the stairs.

[When the firefighters and EMTs arrive on scene, they break down Cedric's front door.

Harlow: CEDRIC!

[Harlow and the EMTs rush over to her friend's body.

[There aren't any spiders visible anywhere.

[He's facing the other direction.

[When she comes face to face with her friend, she lets out a blood curdling scream.

[Cedric's face has turned a deep shade of purple.

[It is so swollen, her best friend is unrecognizable.

Harlow: PLEASE HELP HIM!

[The EMTs start performing CPR.

[When that doesn't work, they pull out a defibrillator.

[A moment later, his heart starts pumping.

[The EMTs load Cedric on to a stretcher and rush him out the door.

[Harlow races after them and climbs into the back of the ambulance with her friend.

Harlow: Ouch!
EMT: Is something wrong, ma'am?

[Harlow looks down and sees a small black and yellow spider running down her arm.

Harlow: I just got bit!

Harlow: By one of the same spiders that got Cedric!

[Harlow and the EMTs hear a soft pop.

[Hundreds of spiders spew out of Cedric's nose and flood the ambulance.

[The EMTs and Harlow all began screaming as the spiders crawl up their legs.

[Trying to brush off the spiders is pointless. There are too many.

[Several minutes later, the ambulance pulls up in front of the emergency room.

[The drivers get out and open up the back doors.

EMT One: *screams incoherently*

EMT Two: *gasps*

EMT Two: What happened back here?

[Bloated, purplish faces, with bulging eyeballs stare back at them in horror.

[EMT Two pulls out her radio.

EMT Two: We've got an External Triage situation out here!

EMT Two: Please send back up, stat!

EMT Two: And a hazmat team!

EMT One: OUCH!

EMT One: Something just bit me!

[They look at one another in horror as thousands of tiny spiders pour out of the ambulance.

[They try to escape, but there's no use.

[Within seconds, they're covered in tiny yellow and black spiders.

[As the spiders flee, in search of their next victim, the EMTs gasp, taking their final breaths under the glow of the ambulance's flashing lights.