Elen left around midnight. Hindi ko na siya pinigilan dahil desisyon niyang umalis. It's been hours since she left the Headquarters, at kung hindi pa siya babalik ngayon, makakahalata na ang lahat, lalo pa't parati siyang kailangan doon.

After she told me the information, I started running in circles. Hindi matanggal sa isip ko iyon lalo na't may kinalaman ito kay Ina. On why it was found on my mother's blood, I don't know. And I want to know.

"Si vis pacem, para bellum."

She said those words while we walked to her motorcycle. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at naabutan siyang nakatitig sa akin.

It is almost rare for us to talk in the old language used by our ancestors. But hearing these familiar words I've only seen in our history journals sent a creepy feeling down my spine.

She promised not to mention the red pill to anyone. Kaming tatlo lang nila Gesa ang nakaaalam nito. And even if I wanted to ask her for more, we both know she can only give me superficial information.

Kailangang ako pa rin ang maghanap ng sagot.

Ngunit gaano man ako kalalim mag-isip ng posibleng dahilan, hindi ako nakukuntento sa naiisip na sagot.

I grabbed my leather jacket and headed out. Mababaliw ako sa kaiisip kapag nagtagal pa ako sa loob ng bahay kaya't napagpasyahan kong balikan ang lugar.

The cold, morning air welcomed me. Fogs covered the place and the green grass are moist. Dala-dala ang flashlight ay sinundan ko ang nakitang nilakaran ng babaeng nakahulog ng gamot.

It was a bit hard to recognize the footprints, given that it is still dark and the grass is a bit tall, but when I was about to leave, something caught my attention.

Pinulot ko ang hikaw at tinitigan. Kumikinang ang kulay asul na bato nito at maaaring nahulog nang hindi namamalayan. I searched for the lock near the area but it was not there. Muli akong napatingin sa hikaw.

Mas lalo akong nagtaka. If it fell unconsciously, hindi ba dapat ay mas unang nahulog iyong lock?

I kept the lost earring inside my inner pocket before deciding to leave. Hindi na ako nakatulog hanggang mag-umaga at nagpunta sa eskwelahan.

Tahimik ako habang nag-uusap ang grupo para sa magiging camping. Karleen gave each one of us a paper where our things-to-bring are written. Halos walang laman iyong akin dahil inako lang din niya ang lahat ng pwedeng dalhin. Hindi na lang din ako umangal dahil mas maganda iyon.

Napatingin ako sa paligid. This certain table under the acacia tree has been our spot during breaks. Vil has been paying attention to Karleen's instruction while Lara is busy sketching on her notebook.

It's been a week that we're planning for the camping. Isang linggo simula noong mahanap ko ang hikaw at isang linggo mula nang huli kong nakita si Duke. Hindi ko naman magawang tanungin si Karleen dahil ayokong isipin niya na interesado ako tungkol sa kanyang kapatid.

"So, it's final. Kami ni Dianne ang magkasama sa isang tent, Vil and Lara sa kabila, tapos mag-isa lang si Duke." ani Karleen.

So, he's still joining? Hindi ko alam kung magandang ideya iyon. I was planning to go out at the first night. There is this unexplainable gut feeling about the pill and the camping. Pero paano ko siya matatakasan? How do I escape them without them noticing I went out?

Isa pa, iniisip kong hanapin ang grupo ng mga lobo sa mga gabi ng camping, but at the end, it's useless. I am with them already. I am close to my target. What's the point of searching for one when I'm already a step away from the Alpha himself?

Inilatag ko ang picture ni Duke sa kama, katabi ng kay Karleen, Vil, at Lara. I managed to take photos of them and print it. When I came here, my target was only Duke, pero ngayon, napagtanto kong hindi ko siya magagalaw kung hindi ko uunahin ang mga taong nakapalibot sa kanya.

Bago pa man ako makapag-isip ng plano, muling tumunog ang telepono sa tabi ng mga larawan. I sighed and watched Karleen's name flashed on the screen. Sa pangalawang tunog ko pa lang iyon sinagot.

"Finally, you answered! Get dressed dahil may pupuntahan tayo ngayong gabi. Suotin mo 'yong binili natin. Hintayin kita sa bahay," aniya.

"Duke, I told you, the black one suits you better!" narinig kong sigaw niya bago kusang pinatay ang tawag.

Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi sumunod sa gusto niyang mangyari. I took a quick bath and changed into the dress she bought for me. The red dress showed the curves of my body I didn't know existing. Sinuot ko iyon sa unang beses pero ngayon ko lang napansin ang sariling katawan. It showed a good part of my collarbones as well. Pinaresan ko iyon ng black, knee-high boots. I curled my hair and applied a light make-up. I also bought two knives with me and hid it on my leg strap before heading out.

Si Lara ang sumalubong sa akin nang makarating doon. Napatingin pa siya sa likod ko na para bang may hinahanap.

"I didn't even know you have a car," aniya, tinutukoy ang sasakyan ko. I glanced at it, neverminding the questioning look in her face. Tumalikod na lang ito sa akin at tahimik naman akong sumunod hanggang sa nakapasok sa bahay.

I saw Karleen and Vil playing a board game in the living room before my eyes found Duke. Dahan-dahan siyang bumaba mula sa hagdan habang inaayos ang jacket. Pinanood ko ang pagkunot ng kanyang noo at pagsalubong ng kilay habang ginagawa iyon. Nang tuluyang makababa ay ang buhok naman niya ang pinagkaabalahan. He raked it using his fingers but it became messier in a good way.

Napatigil lang ito sa ginagawa nang makita akong nakatayo roon. His lips parted as his gaze fixed on mine. Hindi ko alam kung gulat ba siyang naroon ako o namamangha.

The familiar feeling I felt the first time I saw him resurfaced. Unti-unting kumalat sa katawan ko hanggang sa hindi ko nakayanan at tumalikod na. I felt like the air inside me was sucked out by a force I cannot explain. Napahigit ako ng buntong-hininga at napapikit, cursing whatever that feeling is.

When my breathing resumed to normal, I was welcomed by Lara's investigative eyes. Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin pero hindi ito nagsalita.

"Natapos din! Akala ko uumagahin ka na sa pag-aayos," ani Vil at nag-unat. "Parang may pinaghahandaan," patuya niyang dugtong. Nabaling sa kanya ang atensyon ko at nakita ang naglalaro nitong tingin sa akin. Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanyang inasta pero napatawa lang ito.

"Let's go? Lacuston's an hour away. Roda isn't fond of late visitors," ani Karleen at kinawit ang braso sa akin. She pulled me out of the place and I silently thanked her in my head.

I chose the seat beside the window. Pinapagitnaan namin ni Lara si Karleen habang si Vil at Duke sa harapan. The ride was long enough to make me feel uncomfortable. Isa, dahil kagagaling ko lang sa Lacuston mula sa isang misyon at maaaring mainit pa rin ang mata sa akin, at dalawa, nararamdaman ko ang panay na sulyap ni Duke mula sa harapan.

One time I held his gaze when he turned his head, he immediately returned his eyes on the road. Tumawang muli Vil kaya napasulyap ang katabi ko sa kanya.

"Are you drunk? Bakit ang bagal mong magpatakbo?" kuryusong tanong ni Karleen.

Nakita ko ang pag-iling ni Vil mula sa salamin. "I'm enjoying what I see," sagot nito.

"What? It's dark outside, you cannot see anything," Karleen rebutted.

"Someone's enjoying the view, Karleen. You just don't see what I see," aniya bago binilisan ang takbo ng sasakyan.

When we finally arrived at the venue, I felt like air came back to my lungs. Hindi ko alam na kanina pa ako nagpipigil ng hininga hanggang sa makalabas ng sasakyan.

Karleen was immediately welcomed by people. We were welcomed by people. I know she's friendly and she might have a big circle of friends in our school, but I didn't know her connections extended even here. That even made me more guarded. I will not know how many of them here are humans and how many are not.

We were ushered to a table. I admit, the decoration is elegant and well-planned. The black, table napkins suit the red ribbons tied to the chairs. The dancing neon lights swarmed the place. I've been into similar occasions, but never with a crowd so wild and welcoming and.... free.

For a moment, I wonder what Gesa's reaction will be if she's here. I can imagine her in awe and excited. She was always a fan of... normal things.

Naputol lang ang iniisip nang magsimula ang programa. I never knew such a celebration existed until now. People really want to remember the day they were born, not knowing a year added means a year nearer to death?

"Are you hungry?" tanong ni Duke na ikinagulat ko. I was busy thinking about the reasons, that I didn't realize Karleen was not beside me anymore but him. Naabutan kong nakatitig ito sa akin, naghihintay ng sagot ko.

I shook my head. I'm not really hungry but I would like to have something to do other than listen to people's speeches and have his attention on me.

"Lara, let's go meet some friends?" ani Vil at tumayo. My attention immediately went to him but I never saw him glancing back. Natagalan si Lara pero nagdesisyon ding sumunod.

Hindi ko magawang tumingin kay Duke. I see Vil, looking back and smirking at me while they continued to walk farther from our table, leaving the two of us in silence.

This is not a good time to kill, is it?

If I take him down here, I will finish my task in a snap. I can go home and continue with my remaining missions. If I take him down here, I will already have avenged my parents' death.

If I take him down here, I will no longer have a reason to stay, and I will never see him again my entire life.

"I miss you," he whispered loud enough to reach my ears, extending its effect to my whole system. And no matter how much I plan to kill him on the spot, it was like my body wanted what he just said, like my body knew the owner of that voice. And I hate to admit that I acknowledged it.

Why would I like him to miss me?

Napasinghap ako, hindi magawang lumingon sa kanya o gumalaw man lang. The mission flew out of my mind, and the only thing stuck in my mind is his brave confession, and how I wanted to hear it for the longest time.

When the realization of what he said dawned me, I immediately turned my head to see him. I don't know how he managed to be calm after telling it to me, samantalang halu-halo ang nararamdaman ko.

Ang nagsasayawang kulay sa kanyang malamlam na mata ang bumungad sa akin. It feels like I'm seeing a whole, different version of him. The one I didn't see in the pictures, the one I never thought I'll see in an alpha.

I bit my lower lip, preventing myself from speaking. It's not even because I am pretending I cannot speak, but because I am afraid to admit that I wanted us... this close.

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi ko at muling napabuntong-hininga. His right arm crawled to my waist and his left hand found my clasped hands. Pinaghiwalay niya ang kamay ko upang angkinin iyon. I became stiff in my place and he invaded my personal space. His warmed breath tickled my neck before he decided to say something.

"Why do you make me defy the law?" tanong niya sa gitna ng pagtambol ng puso ko. I wanted to see his eyes to make sure he's asking me but I was too frozen to even move an inch.

"I am never the rebel type," he continued and looked me in the eyes, "but you make me want to be bad."

His stares are unguarded yet heavy, like he's giving me the authority to either destroy or build him, and whatever my decision is, he is still all-in for it. For the first time since I accepted this mission, I doubted myself.

And it is never good to doubt.

"I want to be wicked," he concluded before inhaling a huge amount of air, "but my sister is the most evil."

"I found Dominic!" ang sigaw ni Karleen ang pumutol sa titig ko sa kanya. Duke didn't even move his position so I took the initiative to be distant. Nanatili ang kamay niya sa likod ng aking upuan habang ako'y kabado sa magiging reaksyon ni Karleen sa posisyon namin.

"Let's meet my cousin!" hila ni Karleen sa akin palayo roon. I'm not sure if she noticed our position or if she ignored it. Vil and Lara were already ahead of us and I never dared to look back at Duke.

I was still in cloud nine when Karleen let go of my hand to run into someone else. Maligaya itong yumakap sa lalake habang wala sa wisyo akong nakatitig sa kanila.

"I miss you!" bati ni Karleen doon. The guy smiled and scanned our group. His eyes stayed at me for a second and I was to him. Tipid lang itong tumango bago bumalik ang tingin kay Karleen.

He is very familiar but I don't know if he recognized me. I am very cautious with my missions, but I admit, it is never sure that I am safe. And tonight is not a good time to be in one place with an alpha whom I just killed two of his pack members the last time I was sent here on a mission.

When Duke's arms encircled on my waist, that's when I gave him an annoyed look. The group was so busy that no one noticed his actions. I was caught off guard that I wasn't able to remove it right away. Napatingin ako sa babaeng tahimik na nakatingin sa amin. I don't know if she even saw Duke's arms on me because she was too busy glaring.

Nang magpaalam ang lalake ay doon lang kinalas ni Duke ang pagkakayakap sa akin. My back instantly felt cold without him behind me but I let him say goodbye to his alpha cousin.

I excused myself after. Masyadong malawak ang lugar kaya't napadpad ako sa likod sa kakahanap ng pwedeng mapagtaguan.

I found myself walking to the forest. Rinig pa rin ang ingay mula sa loob ngunit masyadong madilim para may mapadpad.

When I thought I could be at peace, a movement not far from me caught my attention. My guard went up and I immediately held the knife under my dress, getting ready for any attack that will come.

I see another flicker of light, now I'm sure there's someone behind the tree. Kinalas ko ang kutsilyo at inilabas mula sa strap. Dahan-dahan kong nilapitan ang puno, handang umatake, nang makita ang paglabas ng isang babae.

With the moon's light peaking through the branches of trees, I see that her hands are empty. Napatingin siya sa kutsilyong hawak ko bago ibinalik ang tingin sa akin.

"Aren't you done killing us yet?" malamig ang boses niya nang tinanong iyon sa akin.

Mas humigpit ang hawak ko sa kutsilyo dahil sa naramdaman. If the alpha is here, I should expect the members around as well. But this one seems to be alone. If not, I would've attacked from different angles by now.

"I feel your heat," she commented, sounding confused, "It's weak but it's there," kunot-noo niyang dugtong, ngayon ay nakatitig sa akin.

Her expression went from confusion to realization in a split-second. She bit her lower lip, not wanting to share her thoughts.

Then another movement from behind her caught our attention. She turned around, almost in a position where I can assume she's protecting me, if only I don't know she's one of them.

She glanced back and gave me a knowing look. "May we meet again," aniya. She went in a defensive stance before walking away from me.

I returned to the party, confused and very cold. This is the second time I doubted myself in a single night. If Chief was here, I'm already eliminated from the mission. Second thoughts must never have a place in my field of work.

I am still trying to analyze what happened when I found Duke's eyes. His expression loosened up when he saw me, like he's been searching for me the whole time. His jaw clenched before deciding to meet me halfway. Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at hinayaan siyang makalapit sa akin. He removed his jacket and used it to cover my bare shoulders. Hindi na ako umangal pa at nagpahila na lang sa kanya pabalik sa lamesa namin.

Karleen was talking to the celebrant when we arrived. Tanging sina Vil at Lara ang nagbaling ng tingin, both of them are having two different expressions but never commented.

Nang matapos sila sa pagpapaalam ay tumulak na kami paalis. It was, again, an hour of agonizing silence. Karleen was already sleeping on my shoulders when we arrived. Lara went ahead to open the gate while I waited for Duke to carry her sister from the car.

Surprisingly, Vil came in and carried her instead. Saka lamang ako nakalabas nang nabuhat niya si Karleen. I walked towards my car, not wanting to say goodbye to anyone when I saw Duke, leaning against the hood.

"I'll follow you home," aniya na ikinagulat ko. I just nodded to make it look less suspicious.

He watched me unlocked the door and slipped inside before walking towards his own car. When I saw him flashed the lights, I started to drive away.

Sakto lang ang patakbo ko ngunit iyon na yata ang pinakamabagal na biyaheng naranasan ko. My mind was planning how to make him believe I am living somewhere else.

I stopped in front of a dormitory. It took me a minute before I arranged my thoughts. I went out of the car and walked to him.

Lumabas ito mula sa sariling sasakyan. The midnight breeze made his hair dance with it. Ang kaunting ilaw mula sa poste ang nagsisilbing liwanag namin. He's still unguarded like he was a while back, which is very, very odd.

An alpha should always have high guards.

I should always have high guards.

"Walk inside then I'll go," aniya na tinanguan ko. I realized I was still using his leather jacket so I removed it and handed it over to him.

Tahimik niya iyong tinanggap at tinitigan.

"You're welcome," aniya kahit wala naman akong sinasabing pasasalamat.

I didn't know why but it stung. And I didn't know how much power he had to destroy me, until I pretended to get inside the building and he left, and I walked back to my car to drive home.