the baby project — act two
" welcome to parenthood "
﹙ 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗛 𝗕𝗬 𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗚𝗢𝗡 𝗗𝗨𝗡𝗚. ﹚

     AND SO HERE IT WAS, ADDIE'S FIRST LESSON WITH A SIMULATED BABY. It was Herbology, a lesson she would usually thoroughly enjoy, but right about now, she wouldn't mind if Professor Sprout could give her some kind of robot-friendly plant that would shut her baby up. At this point, she would be happy to shove some Dragon Dung down her own throat to put her in the hospital wing just to take the weight off for a couple of days. Then again, she'd lose too much school time and she doesn't trust George enough to leave him alone with Shelley for that long because he'd not doubt lose them points.

     They were currently ranked 43rd out of a grand total of 71. So Death by Dragon Dung was not going to be on her very booked itinerary after all.

     "Apparently the professors have permission to put the babies to sleep if they get too loud," Tate told Addie and Clayton as the three of them headed outside for their morning Herbology lesson. Only Tate and Addie had their babies for this class; Clayton was off the hook until fourth.

     "So nice of them to eliminate any possible distractions before our upcoming, only slightly important exams," Clayton rolled his eyes. It was going to take a lot of time before the majority of the seventh years warmed to, or at least got used to, the idea of hauling a kid around for the next several months.

     Entering the Greenhouse with a baby was certainly a new experience, especially since there were now cots alongside the bench space where they would usually keep their bags and coats. It was a strange feeling as Addie placed her now quiet baby down and left her to go and study next door.

     That was the weirdest part of the lesson by far. Not planting Lovage plants using dragon poo as fertiliser.

     Professor Sprout had each given them a patch of soil to prepare for the plants and it wasn't long before the class of herbologists were planting the Lovage in their beds.

     "My God, this stinks," Clayton held his arm to his nose to use as a second line of defence to block the smell of Dragon Dung as he patted it down with a small spade.

     "I dunno," Tate shrugged. "I'm kind of used to the smell of poo."

     "Oh how our lives have changed for the worst," Addie sighed as she began digging a hole in her designated patch of soil, preparing for dumping a pile of poo in the ditch. She wondered for a moment if Dragon Dung was what was used to create baby poo seeing as the babies were simulated and the poo wasn't real human faeces . . . right?

     With that thought in mind, Addie pulled over her mask and hoped that those responsible for her frequent handling of excrement suffered greatly.

༺༻

     ADDIE DOESN'T LIKE TO GIVE GEORGE ANY CREDIT, BUT SHE WILL ADMIT that she has become quite fond of the Gryffindor common room. On some nights, when the wind was a little nippier, and the Hufflepuff basement felt too vast and open, the Gryffindor's lounge brought comfort in the form of soft velvet, crackling fires, and squashed furniture that hugged her in a way she had never really experienced before.

     Some nights, she accepted spending an evening with George and his brother just for the ounce of comfort she got from reading in a cosy armchair.

     "Mum says she's thrilled," Fred said, as he sauntered over to where Addie, George and Gia were sitting, babies and all. He was waggling a letter in his hand that Addie assumed was from Molly Weasley.

     George only briefly glanced over at his brother but rolled his eyes. "Of course she is."

     Addie absent-mindedly played with the hem of her jumper, as she asked, "That she has two delightful grandchildren or that you'll be staying here for the holidays?"

     Instead of answering as to why Molly Weasley was delighted in her letter to her twins, George's head snapped upwards to Addie, his eyes wide, his expression dumbfounded. "We have to stay here for the holidays?"

     Addie would have thought this was obvious as she chuckled dryly. "Did you expect me to look after her for two straight weeks then, Weasley?"

     George shrugged. He hadn't put that much thought into what they were going to do with the baby over the holidays. He just supposed that, because when school stops, all of his responsibilities do too. Upon deeper thought, he can see why staying at Hogwarts would be easier for them both considering they now have a goddamn baby.

     "I just thought we'd exchange her halfway," he said meekly, cautiously suggesting the idea to see how Addie would react since she had obviously thought about the holidays already.

     George loved Hogwarts in December. The snowball fights, arguing over who gets to decorate the tree in the Gryffindor common room, the Christmas sales at Zonkos and the all-you-can-eat market at Honeydukes. It's great, truly. But there is something too cosy and warmly nostalgic about spending Christmas at the Burrow that makes him biased toward staying home over the holidays. 

     Addie scoffed. She shouldn't be surprised that George hadn't considered how they would have to adjust their school lives around their new baby and yet she still couldn't believe his lack of consideration. "You live in Devon, I live in Norfolk," she said plainly. "Please do enlighten me as to how you plan on exchanging our fake baby."

     George mulled over the information for a moment. With his limited knowledge of English geography, he assumed the two places couldn't be that far. England is small, right? And they were seventeen, they could apparate. With a baby . . .  

     Not caring enough to deliberate it further, George smiled, finding Addie's eyes with his own and said, "Guess you'll have to stay at the Burrow over Christmas then, Sweeney."

     "Not going to happen," Addie replied instantly. "Laurie and I already told our parents we're staying here for the holidays."

     George chewed his lips for a moment as if he was in deep thought. Then shrugged again and returned to his game of solitaire. "I've got four months to convince you otherwise then."

     Addie had found recently that the only way to escape George Weasley's teeth-grinding smirk and obnoxious dimples was to simply walk away. And so that is what she decided to do.

      After an intense staring contest with the ginger boy in question from where he sat by the tiled fireplace with his knees tucked up to his chest and his arms loosely rested on top, Addie threw her head back in a groan, "Ugh, I need to clear my head."

     Almost immediately as Addie got up from the armchair she was once sat on, George swiftly go to his feet as well. "Me too."

     The glaring match resumed, the two of them now standing in front of each other, the fire warming the backs of George's legs. "No, you don't," Addie insisted.

     "And you know this how?" George asked.

     "There isn't anything in your head."

     He tried to intimidate her a little while longer, his brown eyes boring into hers, where he saw the flicker of flames dance. She gradually ground her teeth harder and harder until he let out a breath of defeat and took up his place on the rug once more.

     Triumphantly, Addie smiled and then politely asked Gia if she would be willing to watch Shelley, just while she was gone. Once she was told that the Gryffindor would be happy to ─ because George could not be trusted ─ Addie slipped through the portrait hole, wrapping her arms around herself to trap in the warmth she had since lost from the fireplace.

     Her peace lasted a mere minute before quickening footsteps that pounded down the moving stairs and slapped against the concrete tiles became so loud, she was no longer able to clear her mind of all her jumbled thoughts.

     George was panting by the time he reached her.

     "I thought I had escaped you."

     George figured the only way he was going to get Addie to even remotely like him was to pester her so much, she didn't have a choice.

     "Changed my mind," he shrugged. "And now that we have a living creature to look after, you will never escape me."

     "Oh, how lucky I am."

     When Addie began walking away, heading in a direction with no final destination, just with the aim of being alone with her thoughts, she had expected him to maybe rethink his decision to follow her out here, be nice for once, and go back to the Gryffindor tower.

      But no, within seconds, George was strolling along her side, matching her pace with relaxed strides.

     "No, seriously, George," she huffed. "Clearing my head requires silence and privacy."

     "I can be silent."

     "Nothing you have ever done has supported that statement."

     This was a fair point, and George felt it was only fair for him to acknowledge it, "Okay, so I'm on the louder side."

     "That's one way to put it," Addie scoffed.

     "I'll be on my best behaviour." He even held his palm to his chest.

     "Your best behaviour is my worst."

     "You don't misbehave," he said, bending over so that their faces were inches apart. "I'm pretty sure you're incapable."

     "You just don't know me, Weasley," Addie said, taking a step back, crossing her arms. "Now please leave me alone; you're practically giving me a migraine."

     Just as George was formulating a response that would surely have Addie accept his company on her evening walk, they were interrupted by the clacking of heels echoing through the hollowed hallway.

     "Where are you two off to?" Their heads turned at the same time to see a patron of pink stomping towards them. Both Addie and George tried to conceal their gags for Professor Umbridge was hardly the person you would want to see when trying to take a calming stroll.

     "Seventh years, yes?" Umbridge was in front of them now, her chin held high, her wand poised in her hands, her blazer a repulsive cerise shade.

     Addie and George hummed in response, not very enthusiastic to discuss the predicament that being seventh years puts them in. Umbridge no doubt suspected their absence from a common room meant they weren't properly caring for their baby.

     Umbridge drew her lips together tight, her eyes dropping to the space between the two students. A space Umbridge didn't seem to find big enough. "Five feet apart please," she said, sticking her want out and waving it indicating the separation they should make.

     George awkwardly shuffled to the side, and Addie did the same, glancing briefly at the boy now five feet away from her. "Trust me, professor," she mumbled, "I've been trying to shake him since first year."

     Addie's attempt at trying to make the air feel less stiff, earned her look up and down from the professor, who then addressed them both, "It's getting late. You ought to return to your dorms immediately."

     "It's not even seven-"

     "That'll be all, Mr Weasley," Umbridge cut George off before he could finish. "And please do keep your distance."

     Umbridge then stalked off, strutting between the two of them, her heels just as loud as before.

     Addie waited for the woman in pink to have rounded the corner and to be out of earshot, before she said, "God I hate that woman."

     "You and the whole school."

     "You know she won't let us use actual magic in Defence anymore?" Addie asked defeatedly, despite being fully aware that of course, George knew this. She just wanted to let out the frustration she felt for their new teacher in some way.

     George gave a light-hearted chuckle. "That says a lot coming from you, Sweeney. You do love a juicy textbook."

     "You're right, I do."

     "See?" George curved a brow. "I do know you."

     Addie spared him a wince. "That isn't sufficient evidence, I'm afraid."

     George found himself staring out into the almost empty hallway where Umbridge had just walked when a thought came to him. When he slowly turned his head to look back at Addie, he was sporting a sneer far too familiar for Addie's liking. "Wanna prove you're not allergic to misconduct?"

     Addie squinted up at the smirking boy curiously. "What did you have in mind?"

༺༻

     THE IDEA ONLY CAME TO HER BECAUSE SHE HAD HAD HERBOLOGY FIRST PERIOD. Addie would have hated George Weasley's influence on her but when he suggested they have a little play around with Umbridge ─ who had started to show her colours as a true bitch ─ she couldn't help but smile and go along. She was also presented with an opportunity to prove to George that she wasn't the sad fun-sponge that he seemed to be very set on her being. Pranking Umbridge seemed like the perfect way to clear her head (providing they never got caught).

     Dragon Dung was, after all, a vile gift to receive.

     It was almost curfew and the corridors were practically empty, echoey and cold, dimly lit with the shine of the moon and the flicker of candles. While a mere few students dispersed from the Great Hall and others returned to their rightful common rooms, Addie and George crept out of the castle into the brisk September air.

     It was dark, the only light source being the glow from the firey lamps still on inside, and so George stayed close to her side, as the pair of them tiptoed their way to the Greenhouses.

     "You are aware you are willingly spending time with me, right now, Sweeney," he pointed out, his teeth flashing in a wide grin. If there was anything he liked better than some good old-fashioned mischief, it was having Addie do it with him.

     "I wouldn't call it that," she spoke quietly back, as they followed the cold stone steps down the sloped ground. "I would say I'm proving my point that I'm not a complete paragon of virtue while also vandalising a teacher I despise. There are evidential and entertainment factors contributing to my actions."

     "You speak like a robot."

     "You speak like a child. I know which one I would prefer."

     "Suit yourself," George said before drawing right up close to her ear and saying, "At least I'm fun." He knew she'd make it her goal to prove him wrong. Why else would she be out of the castle this late when they weren't supposed to with the sole purpose of stealing from her favourite professor's store?

     "I'm stealing literal dragon shit from the Greenhouses to execute a prank much like yours, and I'm not fun?" She asked with an unimpressed expression George could just about make out from the shadows. "I can't win," she sighed.

     "Oh no, I am impressed," George assured her as they rounded the corner, the Greenhouses now in sight. "But I'm afraid it doesn't happen nearly enough for you to be classed as a fun individual."

          Addie suddenly came to a halt outside of the glass door. She stared up at him and cocked her head to the side. "Why do I feel like that's going to be your ticket to spending more time with me?"

     George tried to suppress his smirk from growing any larger as he looked down at her. "I must just be so predictable."

     Rolling her eyes, Addie turned to the door, carefully placing her hand on the knob. She did a quick sweep of the inside of the plant house, George towering over her, hovering behind, before turning the handle and pushing open the door once she was confident it was safe.

     It was stuffy in the Greenhouses even at night. An assortment of plants in a variety of shades of green lined the walls, in terracotta pots and beds of soil. Buckets and watering cans and crates of miscellaneous things were piled under the benches, aprons hung up by the door. The moonlight cut through the glass effortlessly in a beacon of white light and everything was still beside the two students wandering in . . .

     "Huh," George said, as he slowly strolled around the greenhouse, his fingers trailing along a series of leaves he couldn't identify. He picked up one equipment piece and then another, curious as he rolled the objects around in his hands. "This place is like the jackpot for prank supplies. I should not have dropped Herbology."

     He located Addie on the other side of the greenhouse and as she turned to look at him, he held up a vile labelled growth potion and Addie gave him a distinct look with raised brows that read don't.

     He continued to smirk even as he slowly slipped the bottle back into its place in its case.

     Assured as she could be that George wasn't going to tamper and/or steal anything else, Addie continued on the hunt for what she wanted, having seen it only this morning. "I could have told you that without insinuating that you keep studying it for the purpose of stealing plants."

     He walked over to where she was standing and jumped up onto the empty space on the counter beside her, watching intently as she scurried about. "Nerd."

     "Loser."

     After another few seconds of bustling about, searching for the desired object, feeling an unfamiliar sense of urgency and being hyper-aware of how they were not supposed to be out of the castle let alone stealing from the Herbology department, Addie's face lit up as she snatched a small canvas pouch from a cupboard.

     She dangled it from her finger, grinning in his direction. "Found it."

     George hopped off of the counter and he laced his fingers through the rope strap taking the weight from her. He examined the bag a little, careful not to hold the body of the satchel and just the handle. The label stitched on the front read Dragon Dung. He could smell the contents through the fabric.

     "Gross."

     This was exactly the reaction Addie wanted. Her grin only grew wider as she took the bag back. "Perfect."

     George couldn't help but mirror her displays of glee. She was enjoying this, despite how much she might claim not to. "You might be quite good at this, you know," he said. "Might have to recruit you."

     "Oh fuck," she groaned, her shoulders visibly drooping. "I was supposed to prove you wrong, not impress you."

     "Is that such a bad thing?" His head tilted to one side, while hers craned upwards to glare at him.

     "Considering your standards are based on roguery, yes, yes that is a bad thing."

     "You're doing it again," George said, his eyes narrowing in on her curiously. "The robot thing?"

      Addie lightly shrugged. "If that puts you off," she said, a sickly-sweet smile slowly forming, "I can keep doing it."

     George, for once, was the one to roll his eyes at her. "Pocket the goods and let's get out of here, please?" He said. "Don't want to go back to the common room smelling like dung."

     Addie picked up some gloves and another pouch so that they would have one each and then skipped towards the entrance. She paused by the door to look back at the boy still stuck to the same spot. "Too late for that, sweetheart."

     The next moment, George, to his own surprise (he still wasn't convinced this wasn't all a dream), found himself following Addie out into the crisp air again, the pair ascending the stone steps the way they came, until they were back inside the main castle, engulfed in a new-found warmth.

     When they arrived at Umbridge's office, the pair crouched behind a statue to the left of the pink-painted entrance, out of sight, but close enough that they could see through the slightly cracked open door. The woman was sitting at her desk sipping on an obnoxiously coloured cup of tea.

     "You know she thought we were dating back there," George said as the pair of them intently watched the movements of their Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.

     She could tell he was referring to when Umbridge had told them off for standing too close together and she was probably under the impression that the two of them being in close proximity would lead to something else, but when he said it out loud, it made it all sound even worse. "Yuck," she spat. "I honestly could not think of anything worse."

     George gasped dramatically, still keeping his volume to a minimum. "Think about the baby!"

     Addie just stared back at him with a look of disgust, before he was met with the side of her head and silence once more.

     "I don't know why you hate me so much," he said, still gazing into her side profile, unable to take his eyes off of her despite the very important business in progress.

     Addie kept her eyes on Umbridge as she said, "Hm, let's think." She took her hand from off of the statue's base where it had previously been resting and began listing things off of her fingers. "Incredibly annoying, grossly irritating, and unbelievably aggravating."

     "Those are all just synonyms."

     She finally turned to look at him, and so fast, her hair grazed the skin on his nose. "Does that mean you get the idea?"

     George pulled a childish face and determined that was the end of that, and so the pair of them returned to the matter at hand.

     "How long do you think until she goes to bed?" Addie asked after a while of watching the woman titter about her office, rearranging pictures of cats, and scribbling with an extravagant quill leaving an ugly scratching sound in its wake.

     If Umbridge wasn't going to leave soon, the Hufflepuff was more than willing to call it a night. Stealing dragon poo had been fun and all (despite the company) but she wasn't prepared to stay up all night. Sleep was a luxury now that they had Shelley.

     George glanced at his watch and noted the time. He knew that Addie wouldn't want to leave Shelley under Gia's supervision for much longer and they couldn't guarantee Umbridge's movements.

     He had the perfect solution.

     "Oh, we're not waiting for her to go to bed," George said, and, for once, Addie was almost happy to hear the mischievous excitement in his voice. "We just need a distraction."

     George drew his wand from his pocket and angled it at the floor beneath his feet. "Accio cauldron."

     Addie watched as a black cauldron appeared by the foot of the statue from a spark from George's wand. "What, you gonna brew her a love potion?" Addie asked, half as a joke but also half serious as she was unsure as to how a cauldron was going to act as a distraction.

     "You wish," George replied as he then made the cauldron hover using wingardium leviosa muttered under his breath. The pair of them eyed the flying cauldron carefully as George manoeuvred it towards the corridor that straightened out of Umbridge's door, lowering it to the ground.

     With the cauldron meticulously placed, and while remaining quiet, George whispered, "Felifors" and to Addie's amazement, he successfully transformed the cauldron into a tabby cat, that now squatted not too far from Umbridge's office.

     "You pay attention in Transfiguration?" Addie asked, trying to mask her shock with subtlety. "Or is this someone else under Polyjuice Potion?"

     "I'm a genius, Addie," George said casually. "Always have been. You've just been too stuck up to see it."

     Deciding to give George some credit for his well-executed improvised plan, the pair shifted their attention to the furry animal now licking its behind on the floor of the castle. They watched for a moment or two before realising that a cat doesn't exactly make much noise.

     "Throw something at it," Addie said, growing impatient.

     "That's mean," George replied, but he took one look at the bored expression on Addie's face, and, desperate to keep her amusement present, he fished the packet of jelly beans from his pocket and began, in the nicest way he could, throwing the little sweets at the kitten.

     Finally, he made contact, but it took three successfully aimed jelly beans for the cat to make a sound. But when it did, the echoey hallways and tall ceilings were on their side because, before long, the cat's meowing attracted the target.

     Umbridge's door creaked open, and the woman teetered over towards the cat, bent down and picked it up. After a minute of cooing and petting said animal, Umbridge finally settled the cat in her arms and headed off to lost property, assuming it was a student's pet that had wandered too far.

     Addie and George watched as the woman disappeared once more, her heels receding with the cat's meows. "I'll give it to you, George, I'm impressed."

     "Thank you, Adelaide," George jokily held his hand to his chest. "That means a lot."

     With every intent on making Umbridge's office smell like shit, the duo tiptoed into her office. Addie gave George his bag of dung and a pair of gloves and they got straight to it, acting as carefully and as quickly as they could.

     Addie didn't want to admit it, but she had never had so much fun with George Weasley ever.

     They put dung in her tea, dung in her drawer, in her sugar pot, in her quill pot. They even put dung in the pockets of her coat. And once they were satisfied that they had left enough of a mark to be utterly disgusting but not one that wasn't overtly obvious, they scampered off, laughing all the way back to the Gryffindor common room.

     For a short while, Addie wasn't thinking about who she was laughing with. She wasn't thinking about her fake baby, or her exams, or how scary this project had shown the future to be. She revelled in Umbridge's screams of horror that they could hear from the moving staircases and she felt free by permitting herself a little bit of fun.

     She had cleared her head after all. Even with George Weasley by her side the entire time.

𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗜𝗘'𝗦 𝗧𝗜𝗣 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗬 ━━

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